Since moving back to LA, I’ve been offering up bite-sized reasons for why I returned, but haven’t really gone into any detail. Well, it’s time to go into detail. After the madness that was The Disciple Program, I started getting a lot more e-mails and calls from agents and producers, and the discussions all seemed to steer in the same direction – Why aren’t you producing?
Hmmm, I’d never thought about producing before. I always kind of thought of producers as the enemy. The Player burned into my brain that producers were clueless twits who destroyed everything that was sacred about screenplays, turning them into emulsified processed chicken nuggets battered for mass consumption. I didn’t want to be one of those guys.
But you already are, the responses came back. You’re finding material. You’re bringing it to the rest of town. That’s one of the hardest and most important things a producer does – FIND MATERIAL. Hmmm, I thought. I guess they were right. I *was* finding material. I could do that. All of a sudden, I looked at producing in a whole new way.
This gave life to a few ideas, the biggest of which was to create a production shingle for Scriptshadow. If I was going to be finding and producing multiple projects, I needed a company to do it under. I’ve been slowly putting that together to launch later this year, and in the meantime, well, trying to figure out what the hell a producer does! So in classic Scriptshadow style, I’m going to let you know what I’ve learned about the profession over the past couple of months and what it means for you.
First off, producing is a lot of MEETINGS. This is a huge change for me, since I’m used to sitting behind a computer 18 hours a day. Going out to meeting after meeting is not only the complete opposite of that, but it takes up large chunks of your day. So I’m still learning how to manage my time in this new world.
Why do producers have so many meetings? From what I gather, it’s all about establishing relationships and trying to find mutual points of interest so you can potentially work together. As I was telling a group of writers last night, a big part of selling a script is timing. Let’s say I found this really great zombie script set in the desert last night. Well, if I go to a meeting and an exec says, “But what we’re really looking for is a great zombie script!” Boom, I just read a great zombie flick! I give it to him. He reads it and loves it. He buys the script.
Now if I hadn’t just read that script? If it wasn’t still fresh in my mind? Or if I was tired that day and cancelled the meeting with the exec, setting something up for a month from now instead, that sale may have missed its window. I still have a great zombie spec, but now nobody I know is looking for one.
This is what I mean by timing and this is why all these meetings are so crucial. You’re looking to accumulate information and interest from a number of parties, hoping to match those interests up, giving someone what they need right when they need it. Now I’ve helped a writer sell his script AND I’m a producer on the project. How exciting!
This leads to the obvious question. What does a producer do? You know what, I’m still not sure, lol. There seem to be a lot of different types of producers and there seem to be a lot of different types of ways to produce. But so far, this is what I’ve gathered.
The first option is to physically produce the project yourself. So, for example, I would directly purchase a script from a writer, raise the money for the project myself, hire a director and actors, and make the movie under the Scriptshadow banner. I guess this is what’s referred to as an “indie producer,” because you’re doing everything independently. This is a tough route to take because raising money all by your lonesome is difficult. Therefore, this route feels too complicated for me at the moment.
Therefore, what I’d like to do instead is find material through Scriptshadow, partner up with a much more established producer (say Scott Rudin), sell the script to one of the studios with both of us attached, then let him use his muscle and expertise to get it through the system. In essence, I would be more of a silent producer. I’m in it to learn because, let’s face it, I don’t know what I’m doing yet. I mean, I can help a writer whip the script into shape, but I can’t call Tom Hardy and ask him if he’s free in three months to shoot a desert zombie film. Not yet anyway.
Once I do this three or four times and get some produced credits, establishing myself as a “legitimate” producer (whatever that means), I might be able to go into the studios myself, instead of having to partner with one of the bigger guys. Also, since I have more of a track record, it would technically be easier to raise money myself. So heck, I might go back and produce movies independently yet!
One of the more interesting things I’ve learned about producing so far is the credit system. When you’re asked what kind of producer credit you want on a film, what’s the first credit you think of? You want that Executive Producer credit right?!! Not so fast. Even though the EP credit sounds the fanciest, it’s actually smaller than the producer credit! I know. Doesn’t make sense, right? And here I’ve been going to movies all my life thinking the EP guys were more important than the producer guys.
Anyway, you want to aim for the producer credit, then an executive producer credit, then a co-producer credit, and finally an associate producer credit. Each credit will mean a different amount of money when the deal is made with the studio to buy the project. Come in as an Executive Producer instead of a producer, and it might mean the difference of a hundred thousand bucks. So if you plan on following in my producer footsteps any time soon, aim for that producer credit!
So what does all of this mean for you? Well, I remember a couple years back when I’d occasionally come across a cool script or a cool writer yet couldn’t do anything about it. My contacts in Hollywood were limited, so I’d basically pat the writer on the back and say, “Good job and good luck.” Once I start Scriptshadow Productions, however, I’ll be able to go back to and potentially do something with those lost scripts (and lost writers!). I’ll also have access to more untapped writers than any place in town. So I’ll have plenty of options to hire people to rewrite material I need punched up. What I thought were missed opportunities all these years could turn out to be future Hollywood writing forces. That’s exciting. And it’s the reason you guys should keep submitting Amateur scripts to the site.
Which brings us to what I’m looking for. What kind of movies do I want to produce under the Scriptshadow banner? Well, the way I see it is the genres that sell the most matched up with the genres I like the most are thriller, sci-fi and horror. However, I don’t want dumbed down versions of these genres. I want stories that are unique in some way (something I haven’t quite seen before), characters I care about (and who are complicated and interesting enough that A-List actors will want to play them), and stuff that has some meat on it, that makes me think a little. I want to make the next The Others or The Orphange, not the next Texas Chainsaw Massacre 5. I want to make the next Source Code or Inception, not the next Cowboys and Aliens. If you have that kind of material, and you’ve been slaving away at this craft forever, and are on the cusp of your break, send me those scripts!
What’s really important to me is that Scriptshadow Productions stand for something the companies in this town haven’t stood for in a long time – QUALITY WRITING. I want everywhere in town to know that when they get one of our scripts, it’s going to be a quality piece of material. That’s what I started this site trumpeting, and that’s how I want to operate my business. So even if you don’t have a thriller or sci-fi or horror script, but you have a great spec, I want to be the one pushing it. I want to be the one getting it out there. I want to put the emphasis back on the screenplay again.
So that’s it for the moment. This part of my career will continue to evolve in the coming months, and I’m sure be both an adventure and a learning experience. I’ll keep you guys updated on my Twitter account, and maybe put up another post at the end of the year, giving you an update. And hey, feel free to use this opportunity to ask me any questions you may have. Anything related to producing or Scriptshadow Productions or just questions about producing in general, shoot me your thoughts and I’ll try to answer.
In the meantime, if you’re one of the many Hollywood companies fighting the same daily battle I am and you wanna meet up, shoot me an e-mail. Let’s help each other. As for right now, I’m going to try and figure out the answer to the question that started this article: What the hell does a producer do again?
Genre: Animation/Film Noir
Premise: In a futuristic world co-habitated by aliens and humans, the last human private eye is hired to investigate the fidelity of a well-known pop star.
About: Ray Gunn is an old project that writer-director Brad Bird (The Iron Giant, The Incredibles, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol) wrote. He’s gone on record as saying he’d like to revive the project, and might even do so after his next film, the earthquake pic, 1906. Co-writer Matthew Robbins has had a long and interesting career, writing Spielberg’s first movie, The Sugarland Express, then later writing such films as Dragonslayer, Mimic, and Don’t Be Afraid Of The Dark. He’s currently working on the Guillermo Del Toro big screen adaptation of Pinocchio.
Writers: Brad Bird and Matthew Robbins (story by Brad Bird)
Details: 112 pages – June 28, 1996 draft
For those of you who’ve been told that you’re bad spellers or bad grammarists or bad at, you know, writing the right “their,” there is hope! In 1996, Superstar director Brad Bird apparently didn’t know the difference between “it’s” and “its.” For those of you wondering (and there should be a lot of you wondering – since I see this mistake ALL the time), “it’s” means “it is.” If you’re writing “it’s” and it doesn’t mean “it is,” then you’re using it wrong.
And speaking of “it’s,” it’s a bad idea to write an animation spec! Why? Because animation specs never get purchased! Those wily egotistical studios like to develop their animation ideas in-house. Bastards! However, if you’re really really into animation and want to write animation films someday, then writing a sample animation spec may be a good idea. Just know that you probably ain’t going to sell it!
Okay, now that I’ve depressed you to pieces, let’s pick up those pieces and see if we can’t re-discover an amazing forgotten screenplay.
Raymund Gunn is a private eye in a future world where the private eye business has gone blind. Or in other words, people don’t hire dicks anymore. It’s much easier to get a spybot to do the job for you. They’re cheaper and way better at the job. So I guess you could say Ray is the last of a dying breed.
One day, the eccentric and very rich Arnold Dom pops into Ray’s office and offers him a much needed job. He believes his wife, the ubiquitous pop star, Venus Envy, is cheating on him with another man. So Ray goes off to do what he does best, and finds that Arnold is right. Venus is intimately involved with a dude. But not just any dude – an alien.
However, when Ray hands the photo proof over, he notices something odd. Venus – or the woman he thought was Venus – is missing a tattoo on her hand. Ray’s been had. This is Venus’ body double in the salacious pics, not Venus. And Arnold chose Ray (instead of a spybot) specifically because he knew he’d miss that detail. Now, armed with this “proof,” he can clean up in the divorce settlement.
Feeling used, Ray stumbles around town all depressed-like, eventually running into Venus, who likes to sneak around town in disguise and sing her own songs under her alter-ego, Red. The two start to fall for each other, but when Venus’ body double is murdered, Venus becomes the main suspect, and Ray will have to prove she’s innocent or lose the woman he’s fallen for forever.
Let’s start with the obvious. Bird and co-writer Robbins have written an animation film about people cheating on each other and having sex with one another. A PG-13 animation film is box office suicide. So I’m confused as to why these two ever thought this was a viable project.
But even without that, there’s something very cliche and predictable about this story. I suppose you have to play by the genre’s conventions to a certain extent but that doesn’t mean you should make every obvious choice in the book. Private Eye. Hired to prove a woman is cheating. Ends up falling for the woman. It all just felt so…familiar. Even the whole alien-futuristic setting felt “been there-done that.”
If I’m being completely honest though, I’m not the best judge of film noir material. I’ve said this before, but I need to feel emotionally connected to the characters to care about them and their story. Film Noir seems to be more about the world to me – about the “cool” factor. About the dirt and the grime and the double-crossing and the dialogue. To me, all that stuff is icing on the cake, not the cake itself. I’d rather explore a person’s flaws, their relationships, the overcoming of their past. This just doesn’t seem to be the genre to explore that, so I’m typically bored.
And to heap even more honesty onto this review, these scripts are REALLY HARD to read. You’re digging through miles and miles of world-building (describing your big unique sci-fi world) just to find the occasional dramatic moment, or read the rare entertaining scene. Tack onto that an overly-complicated quadruple-crossing plot, and it becomes more like work to read Ray Gunn than fun. Once that happens, it’s check-out time.
So the lack of an original story, the lack of excitement over this genre, and the messiness of this narrative just didn’t endear me to it. Will be interesting to hear what you guys think though, especially you film noir fans!
What I learned: A screenplay should never feel like work to the reader. The second it feels like work, you’ve failed.
Genre: Dark Drama
Premise: A down on his luck private eye investigates a notorious gangster and uncovers a brothel that caters exclusively to clients with amputee fetishes.
About: About the only thing you’re going to find on writer Kevin Koehler is that he likes to write movie reviews on Amazon.com. Which is strange, because this script was written in 2008 (when it snuck onto the bottom of the Black List) and it’s awful darn snazzy! You’d think that by now something would’ve happened. But IMDB is still confused as to who Koehler is, which I assure you will change soon, since Phantom is unlike anything I’ve read before.
Writer: Kevin W. Koehler
Details: 1st draft – Sept 18, 2008 draft (Black List draft)
I love me some messed up minds – people with f’d up shit going on in their heads. Now let me be clear. I don’t want to meet these people. A part of me would be afraid for my precious little beating heart. But reading their scripts?? Yeah, I want to do that. They can’t stab me from a thousand miles away, even if, at times, The Phantom Limb feels like it can reach into your soul from anywhere.
So what’s this script about? Well, imagine the movie Brick mixed with Chinatown mixed with Seven. Do I have your attention? I’m guessing I do.
Private eye John David Booth lives a sad life. His wife is a sex addict who’s become so numb to “normal” sexual intercourse that she seeks out the strange, the weird, and the perverse, in order to keep their sex life satisfying. She often invites men or women into their bedroom, with no thoughts as to how this would affect Booth. And the weirder these people are, the better. For example, she often has a clown come in to have a 3-way with them. That’s right. A clown.
Booth loves his wife but this world is not for him. And besides, he’s got his own sexual issues. There’s something about his right arm that doesn’t seem to….fit. It always feels awkward. He never knows what to do with it, especially during and after sex. So he becomes obsessed with cutting it off. That’s right, Booth wants to amputate his own arm.
While Booth tries to find someone to do this for him, a job appears in the form of the overweight Wendell Multhorpe. Multhorpe’s wife has been missing for three months now, and he needs Booth to find her. If he does, Multhorpe, who’s a cosmetic doctor, will give Booth what he wants – to have his arm amputated. When Booth starts looking into it, however, he soon discovers that the man who hired him isn’t the real Multhorpe, and the woman he gave Booth a picture of isn’t his real wife.
This leads Booth on his own trek to find out why someone claiming to be Multhorpe would hire him to find someone who wasn’t really his wife. It doesn’t make any sense.
Eventually, this leads him to notorious crime boss Shoulders Marquand, who goes way back with Booth. Shoulders definitely knows something about all this but pretends not to. This only gets Booth more curious. So he begins looking into the REAL Multhorpe and his wife, who ALSO seem to be hiding something.
But shit really starts to hit the fan when sets of chopped-off feet start showing up everywhere. Looks like Booth isn’t the only one into chopping off body parts. The more he keeps digging, the more pissed off Shoulders gets, and the more he not-so-gently suggests that Booth should leave it alone.
To make things even stranger, writer Koehler sets this entire story inside of a present-day 1950s. So it’s the present, but the cars are all 50s cars, the dress code is 1950s, we even have a Starbucks, but done up in retro fashion, with baristas looking like 50s soda shop employees, and a lack of any choices in the coffee department (you only get black or decaf). So if the story wasn’t weird enough, the alien setting makes it even stranger. Which is a good thing, because the strength of this script is definitely its weirdness.
However, I REALLY wish I could’ve seen the final draft instead of this one, because this definitely feels like a wet clay version, particularly with its intricate but not very well interwoven third act. I’m not even sure Jones knew where he was going with it, and it shows. I was rarely sure what Booth was doing after awhile. And it still doesn’t make sense why a fake Multhorpe hired Booth to look for his fake wife in the first place. Koehler may have written himself into some corners he couldn’t write himself out of. At least not in this draft.
The good news is that the script never stops being interesting. From the setting to the characters to the story to the dialogue (which is written in that classic 50s-cinema private eye style), you’re never sure what the next page will bring. Readers love that, as like I mentioned the other day, we just read the same shit over and over again all the time. It’s nice to read something that isn’t the same shit!
Probably one of my favorite things that Koehler did was building up Booth’s character. Writers will oftentimes focus exclusively on their protagonist’s backstories to add depth. But it’s just as important to establish what’s going on in your hero’s life RIGHT NOW. The relationships they have. The work issues they have. The social issues they have.
Audiences tend to be more interested in what’s happening NOW as opposed to 20 years ago anyway, so establishing current problems can add a lot of “kick” to a character. This whole thing with Booth’s wife being a sex addict and how that’s torn their marriage apart, really informs his character, as we can see how emotionally destroyed he is, and how those sick perversions eat at him every day at work. It actually makes it plausible, despite how ridiculous the notion is, that he’d want to cut off his own arm.
The Phantom Limb doesn’t quite add up to the sum of its parts, but I think we’ve found a very under-appreciated writer here. Koehler needs to be writing movies way more than most of these writers I read every day. And I feel this script will find a life somewhere, what with the upcoming 50 Shades Of Gray frenzy that’s going to go on. Don’t count out The Phantom Limb yet!
What I learned: Director-bait! A great way to create interest with a script is to make it director bait. I mean look at this script. You have amputees, clown 3-ways, castles with makeshift moats and animatronic alligators, and a setting that’s a mash-up between the 50s and 012’s. One of the most important factors in getting a script made is the director. The studio HAS to believe in him. So a movie doesn’t go until a good one is in place. Therefore you have to do something special to entice those directors. Koehler went the route of a rich original visual mash-up. What’s your director bait?
Recently I’ve been talking a lot to John Jarrell, a screenwriter who’s been working in this business for over 20 years, and learning quite a bit from him. When he mentioned he was putting together a class, I told him that I had to promote it on the site, especially since I’ve been getting so many e-mails recently asking where the best screenwriting classes are. I think you’ll be able to tell right away how awesome John is and how much damn knowledge he’s accumulated over his career. But probably the best thing about John is what an awesome guy he is. He’s just a great champion of screenwriters everywhere and really wants to help. Enjoy the discussion and if you like John, sign up for his class here in Los Angeles!
SS: So tell us a little about yourself. Who are you?? What’s your screenwriting backstory?
JJ: Basically, I was a young guy who took on $50,000 worth of student loans to go to NYU Film and chase a dream of making movies one day. I literally drove out to L.A. in late 1990 with nothing but $200 dollars and my trusty ’66 VW Bug to my name. The old “confidence of ignorance” approach. (Not recommended, by the way.)
Five months later, with my Hollywood hopes and dreams being pulped into cream corn, I hit a clutch do-or-die shot and sold my first script. I was over the moon. Next thing I knew, I had real cash in my pocket and was flying home on a private G-3.
It had happened so fast, it all seemed to be too good to be true. Of course it actually was too good to be true. Which I learned pretty quickly.
My script didn’t get made and within a year I was broke and unemployed again. What followed was five unrelenting years of struggle simply trying to survive and put food in my mouth. (also not recommended)
But I did survive, and in ’97, based on a fresh spec, I got a break. I was signed by this small new agency called “Endeavor”. Things kinda took off after that.
Since then I’ve written films and tv pilots for many of the major studios and have worked with some of the best producers and directors in Hollywood. These include — Jeffrey Katzenberg, Neil Moritz, Joel Silver, Terence Chang & John Woo, Mike Medavoy, Richard Donner, Luc Besson, James Foley, Carl Beverly and Warren Littlefield.
Among other projects, I wrote “Hard-Boiled II” and a remake of Peckinpah’s “The Killer Elite” for John Woo, was one of the many, many writers on “Live Free, Die Hard” at Fox, and scripted the animated family film “Outlaws” for Dreamworks. I’ve also sold four tv pilots and just finished my first book — the real life memoir of a legendary Chinatown gangster from the ’70’s and ’80’s.
a. What do you think the key is to breaking into this industry?
b. What do you think the key is to staying in this industry.
JJ: A) To get a start in this Business, first and foremost, you need a great script. Not merely good, but GREAT.
Twenty years ago screenwriter Larry Marcus (“The Stuntman”) told me that if you have a great script it may take a week, a year, or even ten years, but if you’ve written something undeniably fantastic, someone will find it. Why? Because there simply aren’t that many great scripts out there. It’s straight-up supply and demand.
I was pretty young at the time, and remember thinking, “That’s bullshit.” But what he said was right, and I’ve seen that dynamic play out with both my friends and myself as we’ve pursued our careers.
The other key elements to “getting a break” are timing and luck, and unfortunately, as most of us know, you can’t always control those. But I do believe you can “create your own luck” to an extent by working relentlessly to push your project. Meet people, network, send your script out knowing 99% of the time you’ll probably hear “no thanks”, but don’t let that discourage you.
See, this is the real key for any aspiring writer — “It only takes one buyer”. That’s what my first agent told me, and it’s just as true today. You can hear 1000 “No’s”, have a million doors slammed in your face, but just one simple “Yes” validates everything. As a writer, I’ve always found strength and inspiration in that. You don’t have to conquer Hollywood, you just need to find that one buyer out there who gets it.
SS: What’s your general philosophy on screenwriting? What do you think makes a script work?
Having an airtight structure backstopping your script is absolutely critical in my opinion, especially these days when the window for experimentation and/or ambiguity is largely slammed shut.
Want to give execs and producers immediate confidence in whatever they’re reading of yours? Land your story’s structure. It allows them to “see the movie” straight out of the gate and provides a solid foundation for you as the writer to do your very best work. Structure is a key element of what we do at Tweak Class.
SS: Your big strength is probably action. I don’t see many good action scripts these days. In your opinion, what’s the secret to writing a good action script?
JJ: With the films I’ve written, I’ve always focused on creating “intelligent action” — elevating above and beyond genre expectations by making things smarter and more real. If there’s any “secret” to the process, that’s probably it. “Bourne Identity” may be the high-watermark in this department. It provided proof positive that when you raise the bar on intelligence and realism that high, you can reach a vast audience… even people who don’t usually like action films.
Remember, just because a project is labeled “action” doesn’t mean it has to be stupid. Yet, I feel like a lot of writers play down to that, even unconsciously. Repeating the shopworn clichés — the ball-busting, froth-spewing Police Lt., the scowling, uni-browed Russian drug lord, etc.
Sure, they still make movies with these one-D characters. But as an aspiring writer, you’re being held to a much higher standard than that. The limited pool of buyers out there want to see something fresh and inventive — even if they ultimately dumb it right back down to the most basic clichés (picture me laughing here).
Two rules I try and live by — 1) Never write something you yourself wouldn’t want to read. 2) Whenever you find yourself writing a scene that feels stock, like you’ve seen it a million times before, cut it and start over. Believe me, if you don’t, sooner or later someone in the food chain will call you on it, and it may kill your read.
Bottom line, guys, make your scripts as smart and interesting and badass as you would want a film to be if you just forked over $12 to see it. That’ll help keep you honest and keep the quality of your writing high.
SS: For me, personally, I need some depth in an action script to respond to it. But you obviously talk to these action producers all the time. In your experience, what are they looking for?
JJ: Just like the rest of us, great action producers want something fresh and fun, a badass idea that gets them totally pumped. Christ, you can see their faces light right up in the room when you pitch ’em one they legitimately love. Remember, at heart, these guys are all big fans of action, just like we are.
The Business is making a lot less movies these days, so producers are even more selective about what they can finance. The good news is that they’ll always make action movies — the genre is old as Hollywood itself. So as a writer, help increase your odds of survival by thinking smart, badass and fun as hell — even if it’s a dark fun. Brother, if your world, characters or premise feels stock, you’re already dead and buried five pages in.
One more thing I’d like to add — Don’t kid yourself about “action” producers being ridiculous cartoons or “not getting it”. I’ve worked with Joel Silver, Neil Moritz, John Woo/Terence Chang… believe me, these men are SHARP. They have a depth of knowledge when it comes to genre that is outright intimidating.
Joel in particular was incredibly bright, one of the smartest men I’ve met in my life. When I wrote “Romeo Must Die” he had crossed the $100 Million Dollar mark FOURTEEN times. You don’t get there by accident, believe me. Man, that was such an incredible learning experience for me as a writer. Joel was a true connoisseur and had an incredible love for the genre, which he himself largely helped define.
SS: A lot of people don’t know the journey a script takes when it leaves your computer to getting sold. Can you tell us how that works? From when your agent sends it out to the sale, what happens?
JJ: Well, a lot of that has changed in the past four years. Pre-2008 when you wrote a great spec, you gave it to your agent and they would send it out to the different studios and producers that were logical, legitimate buyers.
Today, the emphasis is really on packaging. To a large extent, the studios have gotten out of the development business because of the expense, so now the agencies play a lot of that role. When an agency gets a viable spec, they try and attach a director or star in-house from their client lists first. Once they’ve cobbled together an appealing package, THEN they shop it to studios and financiers. The thought is that it increases their odds of selling it, and doubles or triples their profits because they rep the attachments involved.
“Naked specs” (scripts without attachments) still do sell, just in much, much smaller quantities. Attachments are king right now. But regardless of the Business of it all, what I said at the start still holds true — having a great script is always your best bet for navigating through the Hollywood crazy factor.
SS: What are a few of the best lessons you’ve learned over the years about screenwriting, stuff that’s really improved your writing?
JJ: Wow, there’s so many at this point, twenty years later. William Goldman’s advice to try and “begin each scene at the last possible moment” is a great one. Paddy Chayefsky’s “If it should occur to you to cut, do so” is also spot-on — even if it hurts like hell for a writer to do it. And there’s always Hitchcock’s dictum that “Movies are real life with the boring parts cut out”, which is an excellent guide for any writer constructing a screenplay.
In Tweak Class, we also get into very practical, real life advice for helping writers during the long struggle to finish a feature. Features aren’t sprints, they’re marathons, and there’s a psychological battle to fight every bit as much as a creative one.
Stuff like recognizing when you’re past it, when you need to stop for the day because you’re not generating good material is really important. As Dirty Harry so famously said, “A man’s got to know his limitations.” Page count means nothing, page quality everything. It took me years to get hip to this, to understand there’s no shame in calling it a day when you’re wasted.
Another thing I push hard, which may seem self-evident to some, is that you should NEVER, EVER edit the fresh pages you’ve written the same day you write them. You’re burnt out by then, snowblind. Give them a day minimum, a week’s even better, before starting to mark them up. From vast personal experience, I can testify this is the quickest and easiest way to destroy material that would have actually been pretty good upon later, clear-eyed reflection. (laughing again)
End of the day, I firmly believe that Writing is Momentum and a writer has to protect that forward progress at all costs. My class gets into a lot of workable ways to do just that.
SS: We all have weaknesses as screenwriters. What’s your biggest weakness? And how do you work around it?
JJ: One key weakness for me is simply not writing enough. When I look back over my career, I feel like I could have — and should have — written twice as much as I did. Writing is damn hard work, and facing a blank screen and all that comes with that is not exactly my idea of fun. Still, despite 27 features and 4 sold pilots, if I could do it over again, I would write a lot more.
Another weakness is driving myself way too hard when on a project. I have a bad habit of beating myself to a pulp psychologically, talking myself down during tough days. Funny thing is, it does not provide better results. If anything, it hampers your process. “Pressure is the enemy of art.”
Henry Miller has that great quote about writing — “Don’t be nervous. Work calmly, joyously, recklessly on whatever is in hand.” He also said to “Keep Human” while writing. Unfortunately, I’ve never been able to approach screenwriting from either of those perspectives. For me, for better or worse, it’s mostly war all the time… and believe me, I don’t recommend it to others.
SS: If you were a young screenwriter today, what kind of script would you write to give yourself the best chance to break in? And what would you do after you wrote that script to break in? What would your process be?
JJ: I suppose I’d do the same thing I did way-back-when — I’d cook up something commercial and put it right down the middle. My first script was pretty dark, tough Irish kids in the old Jersey City, and while it was good, we couldn’t find a buyer. I was new to Hollywood, and my first agent just flat out said — “Write me something I can sell.”
I was juiced up on youthful indignance back then, taking my script’s rejection way too personally, and decided that goddamnit, this business would not beat me! I resolved to write something they would have to buy — something a complete stranger would willingly give me money for. And that’s precisely what I did.
After that, I would try to line up a paying gig while writing a second spec even stronger than the first. Young writers have to keep WRITING. But back then, like a dummy, I didn’t do that. There’s a tendency for young writers to rest on their laurels and celebrate, and I was no exception. Within two years my script had gotten shelved and I was out of work. (more laughter)
SS: You work with the biggest agency in town, WME. How did you end up there? And where did you start as far as representation? Can you give us the journey from your first rep to your current one?
JJ: I ended up at WME through Endeavor. I was signed at Endeavor when it was just starting out, at the very inception. It was tiny and really felt like family back then, just the coolest environment and best ENERGY you can imagine for an agency in this dog-eat-dog town. Being involved at that time was an absolutely amazing experience, one of the high points of my professional life. Hard to imagine today, but I would just stop by and hang out with the agents, bouncing jokes off each other, having a blast, all that. There were some really special people there.
Of course, what happened later is history. Endeavor blew up, became WME, and many of those agents became superstars. Now it’s a completely different world. But often I think of those early days with a big smile in my heart.
My career prior to that was probably like many writers out there — boutique agencies that couldn’t quite get it done, agents that didn’t have the juice needed to get me in the room on things. And to be fair, I wasn’t exactly lighting the town on fire with my writing back then.
But ultimately, again, there aren’t any shortcuts. My getting signed at Endeavor came as a direct result of my finally writing a script worthy of getting noticed by the people I wanted to notice me. That’s how this game works, like it or not. You have to prove you belong.
SS: What’s the best screenplay, produced or unproduced, you’ve ever read, and why?
JJ: I have a massive vintage script collection at home and here are a few of my all-time favorites —
Larry Kasdan’s Body Heat. Good God, what a great read! Every single detail is so artfully laid out and seeded in, and the heat of it, the naked lust and desire, just bleeds right through the page.
Hampton Fancher’s early draft of Blade Runner — For pure writing’s sake, I much prefer this to the Peoples’ rewrite. It’s just more textural and evocative to me, with some slight differences that I really enjoy. A magical script in my opinion.
Oliver Stone’s Scarface — People these days forget what a world-class screenwriter Stone is, one of the greatest who’s ever lived in my opinion. What’s so mind-blowing about this particular draft is that damn-near EVERY LINE in the film is right there on the page as Stone intended it. As badass a screenplay as you’ll ever read.
Paddy Chayefsky’s Network — Pretty much the Holy Grail for screenwriting as far as I’m concerned. His command of subject, character and dialogue is unparalleled here. You’re reading these long, thick passages of dialogue — something you could never get away with today — and suddenly realize that every last word counts. It’s entirely surgical, and coming at you at lightning speed. Unreal. Do not attempt this at home!
Lastly, Andy Kevin Walker’s Seven — The greatest serial killer movie ever written, and one that’ll never be equaled. I remember reading it when it first hit town and having it scare the absolute shit out of me. I was living in a tiny Venice Beach studio by myself, and when I got to the sequence with the desiccated guy “Victor” and the Polaroids, I got up to make sure nobody was hiding in my closet. Andy really is the master of the brilliant twist on top of the brilliant twist.
SS: What’s your teaching philosophy?
JJ: I’d never really thought of it in those terms, but I suppose it’s that there are no magic bullets or secret potions. Screenwriting is a craft you have to work very, very hard at, and nobody, no matter how experienced or successful, is exempt from that. Making money at it and being good at it are entirely different things, as many of us well know from reading an ocean of shitty big money drafts.
I want my students to be legitimately good at it. To develop the skill set needed to make a career out of writing — not just hope they’ll get lucky optioning a script or two every ten years.
Most of all, I see all the writers in my class as peers. Anyone can come up with a great idea — the right idea — at any time, regardless of experience. I’m a produced screenwriter. So what? Does that give me a monopoly on great ideas? Hell, no. The cool thing about screenwriting is that the blank page is the great equalizer — anyone can work hard and excel there, regardless of who they know, who their parents are, who they’re connected to, and so on. That’s one thing I really love about it. That anyone can participate and succeed.
SS: I know your class is a little different from the other classes out there. Can you tell me what you focus on? What can your students expect from your classes?
JJ: “A little different” is a polite way of putting it :) What surprises new students is how much FUN we have — and how much great work comes out of that. The class is extremely interactive, and that support and synergy can be outright electrifying at times. There’s no better rush than having a class get on a creative roll together.
But hey, don’t just take my word for it, check out our Facebook Group Page (“Tweak Class Screenwriting”) or the website (tweakclass.com) and see what my students have to say. Hell, go ahead and PM them and get their takes firsthand.
End of the day, I guess the Log Line here is that writers who join my class can expect to learn how the day-in, day-out business of screenwriting is actually practiced by professionals — both creatively and business-wise.
Not just the writing stuff, which is essential, but how to pitch, how to read a room, how to surf the million-plus curveballs any situation can throw you. It’s hard to win the big game if you don’t know the rules, right? Tweak Class focuses on getting your “A” game together in every sense, getting individual projects successfully plotted and First Acts written by the end of the ten weeks.
Every single member of my classes has accomplished both these goals, and trust me when I say you will too.
Genre: Thriller(?)
Don’t worry you Twit-Pitch fanatics. I haven’t forgotten about you. In fact, I was so excited about bringing a Twit-Pitch script back for a review, that I’m posting it a day early! How bout them apples? I figured since we dealt with some American history yesterday, why not extend it into a 48 hour American history marathon?! Scriptshadow Textbook Reviews? Coming soon!
I remember when I originally picked this up. The writing was so crisp, so clean, that I wanted to replace my bedsheets with it. I mean, the script starts out with some of the best descriptions of Civil War battle I’ve ever read. Karpala can detail a battlefield kill like no other. And then for us to realize that it was all just a reenactment via a Lady Gaga ringtone going off? Brilliant!
Now, before going forward, I should point something out. When I picked this up yesterday, I’d completely forgotten the logline. Which turned out to be a good thing because it meant reading the script clean. That lack of context allowed me to identify a huge issue that needs to be dealt with in the next draft. So, grab your Confederate flags Scriptsoldiers, it’s time to take a trip back in time…for the second day in a row.
During Reenactment’s opening reenactment, we meet 45 year old Doug Abbot, a fearless leader on the battlefield, but your average Joe with an ex-wife and a teenage son off it. You get the feeling that Doug’s life didn’t turn out the way he wanted it to, and these reenactments are the only moments of joy he has left.
So when he’s invited by another re-enactor to a secret reenactment known as the “Battle Of The Wilderness,” Doug is in. In fact, in order to salvage his deteriorating relationship with his son, Will, he invites him to come with. Will isn’t exactly keen on reenacting, but the fact that he gets to shoot guns, even if it’s with fake ammunition, is enough to get him onboard.
So Doug and Will, along with a few hundred other participants, are bussed into the middle of some nowhere forest where they’re introduced to their commanders and where they get ready for battle. They march through the forest, encounter the opposing army, and engage in the first volley of gunfire. But strangely, nobody from the Confederate side falls. Per the rules of reenacting, at least a portion of the other side is supposed to “die.” Nobody does.
And that’s when the Confederates fire on them. Which is when they figure out something is very VERY wrong. Dozens of men fall to the ground in a bloody pulp. These guys are using REAL AMMUNITION! Let the slaughter begin.
Once Doug realizes this, he grabs Will and a few others and hightails it into the forest. They’re getting the hell out of here. The problem is they’re so deep in the middle of nowhere that there’s nowhere out. At a certain point, Doug and his son get split up, and now it’s not just about escaping these crazy psycho REAL Confederates, but about Doug finding his son amongst this endless battlefield. Will he able to do it in time? And even if he does, how the hell do they plan on getting out alive?
Like I said, the writing here is pretty great. It’s that perfect mix of powerful description and lean paragraph packaging – the way screenplays are meant to be written! I mean check out this opening line: “A maze of white oak trees, holding up canopies of rich, green summer leaves. There is an early morning light, bringing with it an early morning stillness.” I know a lot of writers who would turn that opening description into 4 to 5 paragraphs! All we need is one here and the scene is set.
However, once we get into the meat of this story, some cracks, not unlike the cracks in the Confederate army, start to show. The first issue was simply what the hell was happening!?? I couldn’t for the life of me figure out if we had gone back in time or if this was occurring in the present day.
Here’s why. Karpala makes a huge deal out of how “similar” all the Confederate leaders look to their real life counterparts. Eerily similar. To me that meant we’d gone back in time and were dealing with the real versions of these people. Also, there were numerous references to how things weren’t where they were supposed to be on the map, which was another hint to me that they were 150 years in the past, where the landscape was much different. So for about 75% of the screenplay, I thought we were in the past, which is of course a completely different kind of movie.
Another issue for me was the tone. The non-battlefield stuff had this light, almost goofy family movie quality to it. Oh, there’s the goofy but annoying new boyfriend of the ex-wife. Lady Gaga ringtones. A boy and his dad trying to find common ground together. Yet once we got onto that battlefield, people’s heads are decapitated by cannon balls. Bodies are exploded into a dozen pieces by land mines. And there’s more blood in your average battle scene than in an entire Quentin Tarantino movie. I don’t know about you guys, but I couldn’t marry those two extremes together.
Also, once I started thinking about the story, there were certain things that didn’t make sense. Apparently these REAL reenactments were put together once a year. And during each of them, somewhere between 400-500 men were killed. Now I’m not a math major, but doesn’t the FBI start getting suspicious when 500 men who went on a reenactment trip don’t return?
Story-wise, the one thing I felt needed strengthening was the father-son stuff. If the central objective of the script is for the father to find and save his son, we have to really care about that relationship. I didn’t NOT care about that relationship, but there was nothing exceptional about it either. Therefore I was only mildly interested in whether Doug would find Will. Since that’s pretty much the whole movie, that area needs to be beefed up.
I think Karpala needs to create more of a divide between Doug and Will. Something more deep-seated that’s been at the core of their relationship for awhile. For example, maybe Doug bailed on his wife, and Will’s never forgiven him for it. Now that we have a strong unresolved issue between the two, we as an audience will be rooting for them to reunite so they can finally resolve that issue.
So yeah, the writing in this one was great, as I expected it to be after those first 10 pages, but there were too many little issues that added up. Not bad, but not good enough to get me all smiley and happy. :(
Script Link: Re-Enactment
What I Learned: Beware the forced plot point! Readers know! Look, we all WANT things to happen in our screenplays to move our story along the way we want it moved along. But it still has to make sense! If it doesn’t, it feels forced, and we readers shake our heads in quiet dismay, muttering to ourselves, “That would so never happen.” Clearly, Karpala needed to split Doug and Will up so Doug could be looking for Will the whole movie. The problem is, it makes absolutely NO SENSE WHY THEY SPLIT UP. Doug says something like, “You’re going to wait here while I go do this thing.” So wait, this father who loves his son more than anything is going to leave him alone in this insanely dangerous and unpredictable battle zone instead of take him with him??????? No way. Come on guys. Make sure all your plot points make sense.
