So a couple weeks ago I stirred up some emotions when I came up with the 6 month plan for selling a screenplay. I think my article was somewhat misinterpreted. I wasn’t saying that selling a script was EASY – that all you had to do was follow these steps and VOILA – 500 thousand dollars magically appears in your bank account. I was merely saying that if you ONLY HAD SIX MONTHS to sell a script, and didn’t have any (or very few) contacts, that the route that gave you the best chance to do so was that one. And I still believe that. I’m open to hearing alternatives, but so far no one’s given me something better.
Also, since the article, I’ve gotten a few e-mails telling me that e-mail is a better way to pitch your script than a phone call. The reason being that phone calls take time and if you’re not important, busy assistant types are likely to hurry you off the phone. With e-mails, they can check them whenever, which is easier for them. That actually makes sense so if that’s the way you want to go, go for it. Just remember that if you do go that route, make sure you’ve followed RULE #1 (pick a great concept!) from last week’s article. Because chances are that’s the only thing they’re going to read in your e-mail. And if you want that logline to be as powerful as humanly possible, then be sure to check out my logline article.
Okay, now let’s get down to business. Last week we talked about the 6 month plan. That’s fine and dandy if you only have six months. But a more realistic plan for selling a script and becoming a professional screenwriter is 3-5 years. You know how doctors and lawyers spend 4 years of 50 hour weeks to get their degree? It’s no different for you. You have to study this craft religiously if you want to be great at it. With that in mind, onto the plan.
MONTHS 1-6
DON’T QUIT YOUR DAY JOB – Not yet at least. You need to start saving money. You’re going to need it later when you either visit or, preferably, MOVE to Los Angeles. Save as much money as you can. Stop spending it on stupid stuff like Angry Birds Seasons. Every buck counts. You can live on In and Out Burger for 8 bucks a day. The more money you save, the more Double-Doubles you can buy!
READ – Start reading scripts. As many as you can. The more you can get your hands on, the more you should read. Not just the pro scripts, but the amateur scripts as well (which you can get over at Simply Scripts). Nothing has taught me more about screenwriting than reading screenplays. At the VERY MINIMUM, read 2 a week. But if you can read up to one a day, do it. And don’t tell me you don’t have the time. Sheldon Turner still reads a screenplay a day and he’s one of the busiest screenwriters in the business.
FIRST SCRIPT – Write your first script. Write about anything you want. Something personal and non-commercial even. Why? Because you’re not going to show it to anyone. Just write and have fun. Enjoy the process. Enjoy figuring things out. If you write 4 pages a day, you’ll be finished in less than a month. Resist the temptation to show it to friends because you think you’re the exception to the rule who’s written a genius script your first time out. Those friends will always secretly think you’re a terrible writer and feel sorry for you whenever you bring your writing up. You only get one chance to make a first impression.
ONLINE RESEARCH – Start trolling the Done Deal message boards as well as the Scriptshadow archives. Read the popular posts, the popular topics debated. Read the comments sections as well. There are some great commenters here at Scriptshadow, guys and gals who know more than I do about screenwriting. Learn who they are, who’s respected, and take their lessons to heart. They’re usually right. Reach out to those people (reach out to anyone you like). Get to know them. Get to know as many screenwriters as you can! This is a lonely profession and it’s a lot easier when you have someone you can e-mail or call when you hit a rough patch. You’ll also need these people for script feedback and to trade contact info with later.
SECOND SCRIPT – Write your second script. As much as you want to, you’re still not going to show it to anyone. It will be better than your first script, but it will still be bad. You won’t think so but that’s only because you don’t know what you’re doing wrong yet. If you did, you wouldn’t have done it wrong. Take a little more time with this one. 2 pages a day so you can think about what you’re doing. See if you can’t apply some of things you’ve been learning from reading all those scripts. Afterwards, take a week off and come back to it. Assess the slow parts, the parts you don’t like, then come up with a plan to fix those problems. This will be your first rewrite. You’re now officially a part of the club.
MONTHS 7-12
BOOKS – It’s time to read some screenwriting books. All of the big ones. Save The Cat, Story, The Sequence Approach, 500 Ways To Beat The Script Reader. Read’em all. Some of the big ones you can get for free at your local library. Think of screenwriting as a language. You may be able to pick up a language by being around others who speak it, but if you want to sound intelligent, if you want to be fluent, you’ll need to study that language, and these books are your professors. Learn the three act structure. Learn how to set up a story, how to build a second act, how to develop characters. Find an author who speaks to you and build your approach around his advice.
THIRD SCRIPT – Now it’s time to get serious. You need to start thinking about your concept (check the Six Month article for how to do so). If you have loads of talent, selling your third script isn’t unthinkable. But you won’t have a shot unless you pick a marketable concept. You’re also going to be outlining for the first time. The books should have taught you how to do this. Just remember, the first time someone starts outlining and structuring, they tend to overdo it, making everything in the script feel TOO structured. Apply these “rules,” but not overtly. You still want the story to feel natural. Rewrite the script a few times. Rewriting is what’s going to turn a good idea into a good script.
GIVE TO FRIENDS – Okay, time for some feedback. Send your script out to friends, family members, and screenwriting buddies you met on the internet. If any of those internet friends ask you to send a naked picture along with the script, de-friend them immediately. Unless that’s exactly what you’ve been waiting for. In that case, send away. Your friends will lie to you. They will tell you your script is much better than it is. That’s okay. You need to ease your way into feedback. It’s not easy hearing someone’s flippant reaction to something you slaved over for 3 months. Rank your friends/family’s enthusiasm for your script on a scale from 1-10. Whatever it is, subtract 4. That’s their real reaction.
CONTESTS – Pick 3 or 4 contests (Nicholl, Bluecat, Austin, Zoetrope, Page, TrackingB, etc.) and send your script into them. Don’t expect to win. You won’t. But if you’re on the right track, your script should at least place in one of these contests. Use the inspiration to motivate you for your next script.
KEEP READING – You need to keep reading as many scripts as possible. You won’t have a lot of time because you’ll be writing, but try to get in at least 2 a week if possible. It’s not hard guys. At the end of the day, instead of watching your fifth favorite TV show, read a script.
FOURTH SCRIPT – For the love of God, test your screenplay idea ahead of time. You’re now on your fourth script, where you’re actually starting to get good. You don’t want to waste 3 months on something that has no chance of selling. Spend more time on your outlining as well. Make sure to avoid mistakes you made in previous screenplays. Substantially rewrite (I’m not talking about a polish here) the script 7-8 times. Really try to make it as good as it can possibly be.
FRIENDS AND CONTESTS – Follow the same pattern. Give it to friends. Ask them to be harsher in their feedback. I find that the more scripts you swap with friends, the more honest they get, because they’re more comfortable with you. So it might actually seem like you’re getting worse, since they’ll be more critical. But the reality is they thought your previous scripts were awful and didn’t tell you. So don’t worry. You’re improving. Send your script out to contests. Try to place. Don’t worry if you don’t. It’s only your fourth script.
MONTHS 13 – 24 (YEAR 2)
CONTINUE THIS PROCESS – Your goal for the second year should be 3-4 scripts, depending on how much time you have. Keep writing. Keep reading. Keep studying. Keep exchanging with friends. Keep entering contests. They’ll keep you on a deadline. The goal here is to use every free second of your life on screenwriting. Immerse yourself in it. The quicker you learn everything, the faster you’ll improve.
START QUERYING – Once you get to your fifth or sixth script, assuming it’s a marketable premise, you can start querying. Look back at The Six Month Article to see how to do this. The difference is, you’ll be querying agents and managers in addition to producers. This is going to be an important step for you because this is the second stage of building your contacts. You already have a group of online screenwriter friends. Now you’ll be adding business contacts to that list. Now chances are, ASSUMING YOU HAVE A MARKETABLE CONCEPT, you’ll get some bites. And most of those bites will be low level agents and managers. That’s okay. You’re low level too. And just like you expect to be big time in a couple of years, so do they. So send your script along.
LUCKY – If you’re lucky, maybe someone wants to represent you. They’ll probably want to send your script out to a bunch of people. And some of those people will want to meet with you. Which means guess what? Yup. You’re flying to LA! Have fun with these meetings. It’s still unlikely that anybody’s ready to buy a complete unknown writer’s script, but that doesn’t mean you can’t set up a network for future purchases. Be excited. Have a few pitches ready for these meetings. Industry folk always want to know what you’re working on next. Remember, script sales usually take time. Building relationships and trust. Getting to know people who then feed you information of what the people they work with want. If nothing comes out of the script itself, it’s still a win, because you’ve expanded your network.
UNLUCKY – Don’t worry if no one liked your script. You’re still learning. At the very least, a few of them will open the door to send your next script. So you’ve still expanded your network.
MONTHS 25-36 (YEAR 3)
IF YOU CAN, MOVE TO LA – Notice how I waited until Year 3 to have you move to LA. That’s because you’ve built up a library of scripts, and not rocketed into town with that abysmal first script you wrote (which by this time you’ll be looking back at and saying, “Thank God Carson didn’t allow me to show that piece of crap to anyone.”). Now I know some of you are saying, “Do I have to move to LA?” No, you don’t have to. But here’s why you should: You want to be able to meet people year round, whenever they read your script or hear about you or have something to discuss. Hollywood is just like any other business. It’s about relationships. And if you’re not physically there to build those relationships, people tend to lose sight of you. They move on to the next guy who IS there. Let’s say one of the producers your new manager sent your script to didn’t get to it for 3 months, a full 2 months after you left LA for that week of meetings. He wants to meet now but you’re back in Iowa. What if you and that producer had hit it off? What if he had asked you to rewrite his little horror flick? Maybe that horror flick got a surprise theatrical release and did a lot better than expected and now that producer is willing to pay you TRIPLE to work on his next movie. All of a sudden you’re a credited screenwriter with people asking for your services. Which means more people know about you. Which means more meetings. More offers. More fans. Which means more people to pitch your OWN ideas and send your OWN scripts to. Which means a REAL SHOT at selling your script! Hollywood people like to meet. I don’t understand it either but they like to see your face. They like to look you in the eyes. They like to bounce ideas off you, see if you’re a writer they can work with. If you’re 3000 miles away, you’re missing those opportunities. I’m not saying you can’t succeed if you don’t live in LA. What I’m saying is, if you CAN live in LA, do it. You’ll increase your chances of selling a script tenfold. AND you’ll get to eat at Tito’s Tacos whenever you want. Which is a HUGE plus.
IF YOU CAN’T MOVE TO LA – Don’t freak out. Technology is bringing us closer together every day. More youngsters are moving into important positions. Those guys may not mind skyping you. Or Facetiming you. And even the older folks should be okay with a phone call. It’s not the same, but it’s better than nothing. Still, if you’re getting consistent nibbles from producers and other industry people, you should plan to fly to LA 3-4 times a year and meet all those people face to face to keep those important relationships active. Building your network of people to send your scripts to is the most likely way you’re going to sell one of your own screenplays. So you have to meet these people face to face if you can.
CONTINUE PROCESS – Aim for 3 or 4 scripts this year. Keep entering those contests. Keep querying managers with your new scripts. Keep getting feedback. Keep reading screenplays. Keep reading Scriptshadow. Keep sending new screenplays to producers you have relationships with. With every new idea comes the opportunity to find someone who loves that idea.
MONTHS 37-60 (YEARS 4 AND 5)
TIME TO BREAK THROUGH – You have your pattern down by this point. You know what to do. I’d be surprised if you don’t have, at the very least, a dozen contacts by this point. But even if you don’t, don’t worry. The thing with screenwriting is you can always get better. Go back through the feedback you’ve received. Identify what you need to work on and get better at it. If your characters are forgettable, for example, go back through all those books and re-read the chapters on character. Or just read the character article on Scriptshadow! You’re bound to have an “ah-ha” moment sooner or later. And then continue that process. Write. Read. Feedback. Rewrite. Contests. Query. With every script, you’ll get better. If you’re still not getting any bites, another option is to get your script looked at by a professional analyst. These guys will tell you why your script isn’t up to snuff with the pros and what you need to do to get better. It’s expensive, but if you’ve been at it for this long, it’s an investment that might be worth it. I give notes when I have time, so you can come to me. But this isn’t about me pimping my services. There are a lot of people online who give notes and some of them are really good. Do your research and find someone you feel comfortable with. There’s nothing quite like specific quality notes on one of your screenplays.
KEEP FIGHTING – A lot of people ask me, “When do you know you’re not cut out for screenwriting? How do you know when to give up?” My answer is, “When it’s no longer fun.” If you start to hate screenwriting, you shouldn’t do it anymore. And, you know, as long as you’re still a responsible human being who’s contributing to society, you can write til you’re 90. If you’re the 45 year old guy living out of your car suffering for your art who says he’s got the next great found footage rom-com, maybe it’s time to reevaluate your life. But if you enjoy the challenge, if you enjoy what you’re doing, fucking write screenplays til you die. Who gives a shit if they never sell? You’re doing what you love and that’s all that matters.
I don’t think there’s anything more to say but get to work! :)
Hey everyone. No official post today. I just wanted to write a big thank you to everyone who visits the site. And an extra big thank you to those who take the time to write out all those thoughtful comments. All of you make Scriptshadow. Enjoy the day off and prepare for tomorrow’s post, where I give you a realistic 3-5 year plan of becoming a professional screenwriter.
Genre: Indie Comedy
Premise: A couple of Canadian losers drive down to New York to try and sell Christmas Trees. Dumb and Dumber meets Sideways.
About: Melissa James Gibson is a well-known Canadian playwright. As far as I can tell, this is her first screenplay sale. Paul Giamatti and his wife are producing the film. Giamatti and Paul Rudd will be playing the lead characters. Phil Morrison is directing. Morrison is best known for the well-received 2005 film, Junebug. Strangely, he hasn’t made a film since.
Writer: Melissa James Gibson
Details: 115 pages – 3/11/11 draft (This is an early draft of the script. The situations, characters, and plot may change significantly by the time the film is released. This is not a definitive statement about the project, but rather an analysis of this unique draft as it pertains to the craft of screenwriting).
The only thing I knew about this one when I started reading it was that Paul Giamatti was involved. He usually makes interesting choices so I was in. Later I discovered Paul Rudd had been cast and started wondering what the tone of the script was. Afterwards, I’m still searching for that tone. This is a weird script, starting with the premise.
Guy is a 42 year-old Quebecian who just got out of a 5 year jail stint for burglary. Guy is a thief. A lifer in the trade. Except he’s ready to end that life. Guy wants to go on the straight and narrow. So after being released, he heads home to reunite with his wife and eight year old daughter. But there’s a problem. Actually, there’s a couple of problems. His wife went ahead and told their daughter Guy had died. It was apparently too hard to tell her the truth. So Guy can’t even come into the house. He can’t meet and talk to his daughter. Which makes absolutely no sense of course. If I have a daughter who thinks I’m dead, I’m walking in and telling her I’m not. I’m sure she’ll get over it.
Anyway, that’s just the beginning. Guy tasked his old partner in crime, Rene (the one I believe got away on the job that put Guy in jail) with taking care of his wife while he was gone. Well Rene takes care of her all right. If by “taking care” you mean “has lots of sex with.” Now his wife loves Rene, and his daughter thinks of him as her father. In two words: Not good.
Well at least Rene still has all the money from their last job, right? Umm, not really. When Guy goes to collect his half of the loot that he’s been waiting 5 years for, he finds out Rene has spent it all. Nice! That leaves both of them broke. Guy wants to know how they’re going to make money – legally, but Rene isn’t being very helpful. He says he’s going down to New York to sell Christmas trees with a friend. Guy says, “Ditch the friend. You’re going with me. And we’re splitting the money.” Rene reluctantly agrees and off the two go to New York.
Once there, Guy realizes that Rene doesn’t have any of this planned out. He doesn’t even have a Lot to sell the trees on! So they start selling trees out of the back of their truck. It becomes clear that Rene is a total moron and Guy gets more impatient with him every minute because of it. Eventually, the duo start poaching on an empty lot, and things pick up. So how does this all end? Why they decide to steal a piano of course! “Huh?” You ask. “What does that have to do with a movie about selling Christmas Trees?” Beats me. Welcome to Lucky Dog.
Where to begin with Lucky Dog. Let’s start with the title, which has absolutely nothing to do with the story. That’s usually a bad sign and a harbinger of things to come. That’s followed by a nonsensical “you can’t talk to your daughter because she thinks you’re dead” sub-plot. Then, out of nowhere, the script becomes about selling Christmas trees (What does selling Christmas trees have to do with a movie about a couple of thieves?). By the midpoint I had no idea what the script was about or what was going on.
I wasn’t even sure what they were doing this for. To make money? Okay, fine. But for what? What was the ultimate goal? To make money so they could have… money? That’s not a goal. Making money for the sake of making money is never going to entertain an audience. They need a point – a REASON for wanting to make money. Somewhere near the end we learn that Rene’s going to use the money to provide for Guy’s wife and kid. Which didn’t make any sense because the whole time in New York, all Rene wanted to do was fuck other women. And I guess the reason Guy wanted the money was to buy his daughter a piano? Except we didn’t find this out until 15 pages before the ending. Strange.
Then there’s the baffling relationship between the two main characters. Rene is fucking Guy’s wife. But this isn’t a secret. Guy knows about it. Yet he never raises a stink about it. He gets annoyed every once in awhile, but all in all doesn’t seem to mind much. Here’s a scenario for you. Before you go to jail for five years, you task your best friend with watching your wife. You come back to find out he’s fucking her. Do you say anything to him or just continue your friendship like nothing happened? Apparently in this universe, you opt for the latter. That’s what was so damn strange about this script. There were so many illogical aspects about it that it was impossible to take any of it seriously.
Luckily, once they get to New York and settle in, the script FINALLY starts to find its groove. Once it became solely about selling Christmas trees, I at least understood the story. There is some funny stuff in there, such as the two believing they can sell Christmas trees on a lot that isn’t theirs.
Also, thank God for Olga, the woman who befriends Gary after buying a tree. She was the only character in the entire script who was exciting – who jumped off the page. There was an honesty and a vibrancy to her that none of the other characters had. I wondered why she was so head and shoulders above the other characters and I later found out that the script was written by a woman (I just assumed it was a man because it was a script about two guys on a road trip). Naturally, I wondered if she simply understood the female voice better, being a woman. That may sound sexist but I can’t think of any other reason why all the guy characters were muddled and she was so well defined. I actually would’ve LOVED a lot more of Olga. When she first appeared, I thought, “Thank God!” This script needed a woman – a love story. But then she disappears for the majority of the script until the strange piano theft finale.
I don’t know how to conclude this. Lucky Dog was just all over the place. The story was weird. The characters were odd. Nobody’s actions made much sense. The goal was vague. I felt like I was on a backwards merry-go-round being juggled by Godzilla. I never knew which direction was up.
[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[x] wasn’t for me
[ ] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius
What I learned: Maybe you guys can help me here. I’m all for a writer being “different.” I’m all for a script making unconventional choices and constantly surprising you. In fact, I often advocate for that kind of thing. I love not knowing what’s coming next. But there seems to be a line where once you cross it, “different” becomes “confusing/frustrating.” Sure, the script is giving us something we’ve never quite seen before. Plot points are unique. Characters don’t act like we expect them to. But the combination is so off-kilter that we can’t identify with anything – we can’t find our “bearings” so to speak. And that “unique” script ends up being confusing and weird. I don’t know where that line is, I just know when it’s crossed. And here it was crossed. No matter what I did, I could never get a feel for what this script was or what it wanted to be. It was simply all over the place.
Genre: Thriller
Premise: A newly separated mother finds herself attracted to the 17 year old boy who moves in next door. But when she abruptly ends the romance, he’s not ready to give up on her.
About: The Boy Next Door was featured on this year’s Blood List. Barbara Curry is known for another highly acclaimed script titled “Talk Of The Town,” which was featured in UCLA’s prestigious Screenwriters Showcase Event. And there’s another thing about Barbara. She’s HOT! If you don’t believe me, go check out her interview here. I am officially starting the Barbara Curry fan club. Who wants to join?
Writer: Barbara Curry
Details: 105 pages – undated (This is an early draft of the script. The situations, characters, and plot may change significantly by the time the film is released. This is not a definitive statement about the project, but rather an analysis of this unique draft as it pertains to the craft of screenwriting).
First thing I noticed about The Boy Next Door was how tight the spacing was. Hmmmmm. Barbara? Are you trying to pull one over on us here? It looks like someone got a little scrunchy with their First Draft settings. On any other day, I’d hold it against the writer. But today I’m smitten. So I’ll let it go.
High school teacher Claire Peterson is having a rough go of it lately. She’s recently split up with her hubby and is taking care of her teenage son, Kevin, all by herself. At home things are fine but she’s got a front row seat to Kevin getting bullied at school every day. She desperately wants to do something about it but knows that butting in will probably just make it worse.
Claire’s got her own issues as well. She’s suuuuuper uptight. Her best friend Vicky, a fellow teacher, is begging her to go out and have some crazy wild animal sex so she can loosen up. But Claire’s not ready for that yet. She may have kicked her hubby to the curb, but that doesn’t mean she’s not conflicted about it.
And then everything changes. A new family moves in next door, starring model-esque 17 year old Noah Sandborn. Noah looks more like a man than a boy, and he immediately befriends Kevin, making it nearly impossible for Claire to ignore him. Pretty soon he’s chatting her up and she finds herself taken by the muscle bound youngster.
Claire is a different person around Noah. She feels sexy, desired, lustful. One thing Claire isn’t feeling though is lawful. Cause one night when she’s drunk, she takes a spin on the Noah-mobile. Noah is thrilled with this development but when Claire wakes up the next morning, she’s in damage control mode. What the HELL did she just do??? She tells Noah that she’s sorry. This was all just a mistake, and does the dart-of-shame.
Under normal circumstances, this wouldn’t be a problem. But Noah lives right next to Claire. Noah’s best friends with her son. Noah sits front and center in one of her classes. In other words, wherever Claire goes, Noah is waiting. And he *really* wants to get back together.
Claire tries desperately to get her son to stop hanging out with Noah. But the guy’s become Kevin’s own personal bully-buster. That and there’s no perfect way to say, “Hey son. You know your best friend? I kind of had sex with him the other night. So could you ignore his texts?” I mean you thought the “birds and the bees” conversation was tough.
There’s probably a lesson to take out of all of this. Oh yeah: DON’T HAVE SEX WITH ONE OF YOUR HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS. But hindsight is 20/20, and Claire’s going to need more than a lesson plan to get out of this one.
The Boy Next Door is pretty good. I don’t think it’s going to knock anybody’s welcome mat off, but for what it’s trying to be – Fatal Attraction with a twist – it does a good job.
I will say this about the script. It’s PERFECT for studying dramatic irony. Once Noah and Claire have sex, virtually every scene contains some aspect of dramatic irony. In the classroom, Noah will press Claire on a question. Since nobody in the class knows what happened between them, their exchange is dripping with dramatic tension. At home, whenever Noah, Claire, and Kevin are together, Kevin is unaware of their secret, which means that each exchanged word is laced with subtext.
In fact, this script is further proof of how effective the “add a third person to the scene” rule is. Lots of scenes become more interesting once you add a third person (or people). I mean imagine Noah and Claire having that same conversation OUTSIDE of the classroom, without the rest of the class listening. There’s no more subtext. Imagine Claire and Noah having conversations without Kevin around. Those same electric scenes become dry and boring.
And I’m going to stay on my “unresolved relationships in your second act” kick here. Notice that there are TWO unresolved relationships in the movie. The first one is obvious. Claire and Noah. But we also have one between Claire and her husband, Gary. Claire needs to come to terms with what Gary did to her and decide whether she’s going to take him back or not. Barbara could’ve added a third unresolved relationship if she wanted – that between Claire and her son, Kevin. But she chose to keep that relationship fine.
Personally, I think three unresolved relationships is the perfect amount for your second act. There are 50-60 pages in your second act which gives you about 20 pages for each – the perfect amount of time. But it all depends on HOW much is going on in each of those relationships. If you have two REALLY POWERFUL relationships that have ups and downs and breakups and reconciliations, you may not need that third relationship. It’s up to you.
Another interesting thing to note about this script is that there’s no real goal. I’ve found that in these types of thrillers (The Hand That Rocks The Cradle, Single White Female) the train-wreck nature of the relationship is enough to drive the story. So there’s nothing big that Claire has to achieve here until late in the script, when she must scramble to fix what she’s broken. This is a little confusing, I know. But that’s how these movies work.
On the downside, I wasn’t a big fan of how easily Claire fell into Noah’s clutches. I mean he had her drooling from the very first conversation. Within like two scenes he’s asking her about her failed marriage and she’s chatting away like she’s at lunch with the girls. This is a 17 YEAR OLD BOY SHE’S TALKING TO! You’d think she’d show a little more restraint. At least initially.
I also thought people bumped into each other too easily in the story. It seemed like every other scene, one of our characters would magically BUMP into another one randomly. This is a little talked about area of screenwriting but an important one. You can’t just have characters bump into each other because you, the writer, need to have a scene between them. It has to be natural. You have to come up with seamless ways for them to meet. This is usually annoying work. It’s not creative and not very fun. But it pays off because it keeps your story seamless. If we become aware that the writer is manipulating the characters, the story spell is broken.
But overall, The Boy Next Door was fun and silly. A guilty pleasure of sorts. I had a good time with it and therefore recommend the read!
[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[x] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius
What I learned: In most movie romances, you want the pursuer to have to EARN the romance. This is a MOVIE. It’s no fun when anything lands in a character’s lap. You need conflict. Doubt. That’s what makes the romance (the pursuit) interesting. Here, Claire is ready to fuck Noah from the first moment they meet. That’s not very interesting. She probably should’ve resisted him more. Noah should have had to EARN the romance. Look at Titanic. Jack doesn’t just slide up to Rose and say, “Hey girl, nice hat,” and they’re banging in the boiler room 10 minutes later. He has to STOP HER FROM COMMITTING SUICIDE. I’d say that’s earning the romance.
Genre: Comedy
Premise: Two brothers raised to believe their father died find out their mom was lying to them and doesn’t know who their father is (due to a healthy sexual appetite in the 70s). So the two set out to find him.
About: Bastards sold earlier this year to Paramount just 24 hours after being put on the market. This is Justin Malen’s second sale, the first being a script titled “Prick.” He is also working on a project titled “Trophy Husbands” for Mike Judge to direct.
Writer: Justin Malen
Details: 112 pages (This is an early draft of the script. The situations, characters, and plot may change significantly by the time the film is released. This is not a definitive statement about the project, but rather an analysis of this unique draft as it pertains to the craft of screenwriting).
Should I give up with comedies? Is every modern comedy script just an idea with comedic potential for Vince Vaughn to improvise in? Is there such thing as a comedy spec that’s just…I don’t know…GOOD?? It seems like even when a good spec is purchased, the studio finds a way to screw it up. Going The Distance was a hilarious comedy spec. Its biggest strength was its edgy dialogue. So what’s the first thing they did once they bought it? They REWROTE ALL THE DIALOGUE! I guess when a “soft” director and huggable cast is added, the studio has no choice but to make changes but man, there’s something wrong with that process that needs to be fixed.
Anybody still with me? Have I whined you away yet? I hope not. Because guess what? Today’s comedy is actually pretty good!
Peter and Kyle are twins but couldn’t be more different. Kyle’s a cross between Keanu Reeves and Brad Pitt, while Peter’s a cross between a can of peas and a cherry pit.
Kyle doesn’t have a single identifiable skill. But an aspiring barbeque sauce maker spots him on the beach and asks him if he could use his silhouette for his sauce label. The sauce blows up, and Kyle becomes a millionaire off the royalties.
Peter, on the other hand, is a proctologist. He sticks his hand in assholes all day. But there’s actually a reason for that. You see, Peter and Kyle’s mother told them that their father died of colon cancer before they were born. Peter, then, is on a lifetime crusade to help others with the disease.
Well that’s about to change. In a twist only Meryl Streep with a bag of popcorn watching Mama Mia could’ve predicted, it turns out that their mother’s been lying to them this entire time! Dad didn’t die. She doesn’t even know who dad is! That’s because she was the world’s biggest slut back in the 70s. Their father could be one of a dozen men for all she knows.
The cool news, though, is that their mother was a REALLY GOOD SLUT. Like if they were ranking sluts, she would be at the top of the slut chain. She had sex with some really famous people, and right away the evidence points to their father being Hall of Fame quarterback Jack Tibbs! Kyle is besides himself. This is the coolest news ever! But Peter’s still thrown by the whole thing. He can’t get over the fact that his whole life has been a lie.
So they go and visit Jack, and even though they hit it off, Jack mentions just how much sex their mom had (a LOT!), and evidence points to there being more likely candidates than himself. So Kyle and Peter jetset all over the U.S., meeting their potential fathers, but can’t seem to locate “the one.” During that time, Peter finally unleashes the longstanding resentment he has for his brother, who’s lived this charmed life while he’s never had ANYTHING good happen to him. Looks like these two won’t just have to find a father. They’ll have to find each other (awwwwwww).
Let’s address the most important thing first. Bastards has a goal (find the dad) that a character DESPERATELY WANTS TO ACHIEVE (Peter wants nothing more than to find out who his father is and have a relationship with him). Since we sympathize with Peter’s earnestness and his frustration for always being second fiddle in his family, we root for him, and therefore want him to achieve his goal. All of this is set up in the first 25 pages. And when you do that well, your story writes itself. It has direction. It has purpose. The reader is never lost because he/she understands what the protagonist is trying to do. This is how to set up your story.
Bastards also nails the second act because remember what the second act is mainly about. It’s about exploring unresolved relationships between characters. And here we have a big one. Peter hates his brother’s perfect life. So that’s the relationship that needs to be fixed. But what I found unique, and really liked about Bastards, was Kyle’s role in all this. He was completely oblivious to Peter’s resentment. He loved his brother more than anything and would do anything for him. He was just clueless and naïve. So you didn’t have that cliché “both characters hate each other” thing that you see in a lot roadtrip movies. The dynamic was more subtle, and therefore unique.
Malen has also put story before comedy. I’ll be honest. I didn’t laugh a whole lot in Bastards. But I wanted to see if Peter was going to hash out his problems with Kyle and find his father. I can’t emphasize enough how important this is. It’s probably THE BIGGEST MISTAKE amateur writers make when writing comedies. They don’t care about the characters or the relationships those characters have. They rationalize to themselves, “Well it’s just a fun comedy! I don’t have to create deep characters.” And then they’re surprised when nobody’s into their screenplay. Readers say, “I didn’t really connect with the characters.” And the writer screams back, “But it’s just a light comedy! It’s not supposed to be about the characters. It’s supposed to make you laugh!” We don’t laugh unless we care. And caring typically comes from giving us characters we identify with and care about. I believe this is why a lot of people had a hard time with Mrs. Satan. It wasn’t that it didn’t have funny moments. We just never cared for or identified with the main character.
Comedy-wise, Kyle is the big star here. He’s pretty funny as the clueless guy with the perfect life. He not only has a Hawaiian model wife and three perfect children. But his wife is of the belief that men have strong sexual appetites that need to be satiated and if she’s not around, he should satisfy those urges. Because that will make him happy. And if he’s happy, his wife argues, then their marriage will be better. So the whole time Kyle is feeling bad because he doesn’t want to have sex with other women but has to, which just infuriates Peter to no end.
I don’t know why but I kept imaging Keanu Reeves for the role of Kyle. He needs a good comedy role and since I’m a Keanu apologist, I’m secretly hoping that that’s the way they’ll go. Anything so this isn’t another Vince Vaughn comedy. All in all, this is one of those perfectly executed comedy specs. Malen really showed his command of the craft here. It wasn’t funny enough to get an impressive, but everything else was so sound that I’m strongly recommending it.
[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[xx] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius
What I learned: A few weeks back I wrote an article about how to juice up your scenes. One of those tips was to add a THIRD PERSON to the scene. Bastards showed how to use this tool effectively. In these types of movies, you’re always going to have the scene where the characters finally blow up at each other. It’s the “You Wanna Know What Your Problem Is!” scene where each character tells the other what there big “fatal flaw” is. Because we’ve seen this scene so many times, it’s become cliché. But what Malen does here is he adds a third character – a hitchhiker they picked up – and it adds a different flavor to the fight that actually makes it funnier and a bit unique. The hitchhiker is the one that senses the tension between the brothers, instigates the fight, and then referees it. It’s a small thing but this is what screenwriting is about. Finding those little things that make scenes feel different!
