Genre: Dramedy
Premise: A young man moves to Los Angeles and spends the next 30 years trying to break into acting.
About: Edward Ford is considered by many to be one of the best unproduced screenplays in Hollywood. Lem Dobbs, the writer, wrote the script based on a real person. It is loved so much that even though it was never made, it led to a ton of work for Dobbs, basically giving him his screenwriting career. Dobbs did a substantial but un-credited rewrite on Romancing The Stone. He also wrote Kafka, Dark City, The Limey, and The Score. Reading this extensive interview from Dobbs, it’s clear that he’s not a fan of Hollywood, and the fact that he hasn’t had a produced credit in awhile may have more to do with his disgust with the business than not having the opportunities. Dobbs is also a bit of a character. Check out the commentary track on The Limey, where he takes Soderbergh to task for rewriting his script. It’s as entertaining as it is awkward, but with or without the drama, there’s plenty of screenwriting advice to find. For example, Dobbs discusses Soderbergh’s choice to write “cool” dialogue without any purpose, something he finds detestable (as do I!).
Writer: Lem Dobbs
Details: 114 pages – undated (This is an early draft of the script. The situations, characters, and plot may change significantly by the time the film is released. This is not a definitive statement about the project, but rather an analysis of this unique draft as it pertains to the craft of screenwriting).

You read an interview by Lem Dobbs and you immediately come to the conclusion that he’s a lot smarter than you. And that your analysis – or in this case my analysis – of his screenplay, will probably embody the kind of moronic thinking that has ruined Hollywood. Namely that simplistic criteria can be applied to any screenplay to determine whether it is “good” or “bad.”

For example, can 2001: A Space Odyssey, be judged by fatal flaws, likable protagonists, and a three-act structure? I’m inclined to say no, though I’ve never broken it down. I bring this up because Edward Ford is a different kind of screenplay. It’s a strange cross between Forrest Gump, A Confederacy of Dunces and the documentary, The Cruise. In fact, I don’t even know if those comparisons are accurate because this is so much its own thing.

While reading Ford, I kept going back and forth between, “This does not work,” to “Maybe I just don’t get it.” One thing it does have going for it is that it’s different. It’s not like many scripts you read. The question is, is it different good? Or different bad?

Edward Ford is a deceptively simple man. Sure he’s weird. Yeah he’s eccentric.  But he desires only one thing: To be a bad guy in B-movie Westerns. Yes, Edward wants to be an actor. But you get the feeling even that accomplishment would be tainted if he couldn’t snarl at a Robert Redford or a John Wayne before quickdrawing a six-piece with the twang of an Ennio Morricone score playing in the background.

Problem is, Ford’s not a very good actor. And he’s got about as much “bad guy” in him as Tom Hanks on laughing gas. Edward wouldn’t kill a fly if doing so cured cancer. Yet here we are, in the sixties, with a 20-something Ford arriving in Hollywood, ready to make a name for himself.

Ford finds out quickly that Hollywood isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. There isn’t a movie premiere on every corner three times a week. You have a lot of free time (especially if you’re an aspiring actor). So Ford fills that time with his passion, watching movies.

Not only does Ford go to the movies all day every day, he develops a sort of primitive IMDB, taking notes on all the actors in the films, writing their names down on cards, then filing those cards back in his apartment in a giant database drawer. Today this would be considered forward-thinking. Back then it was just weird.

Eventually Ford finds his future wife, Mitzi. He doesn’t really like her and she doesn’t really like him but on the plus side, she forces Ford to network more. It’s “who you know in this town!” she says, and he won’t know anyone unless he starts talking to them. Within a few days, Ford is hanging out with some of his favorite B-movie Western stars, just because he went up and talked to them. Strangely, however, Ford doesn’t think to use these connections to get any parts. He just enjoys their company and keeps on living.

This laissez-faire attitude takes Ford through the 70s and eventually the 80s, as he drives a cab, does third-rate Christian theater, has sex with a lot of ugly weird women, and keeps trying to get that elusive SAG card (the card that gets you into the Screen Actors Guild).

But because Ford is so mellow, so clueless about the industry, he never gets anywhere. In fact, Ford doesn’t even seem bothered by the fact that he never gets anywhere. It’s more a curiosity to him, like trying to figure out why some people win the lottery and others don’t.

Ford makes a few friends along the way, including a TV writer with anger issues, an “Ed Wood” like director, as well as the director’s son, who is so taken by Ford’s oddness that he wants to make a movie based on him. But really the script is about a guy who moves to Hollywood and never makes it. Some might call it depressing, others accurate, but I think the legacy of Edward Ford is that when it’s all said and done, you don’t know what to think. It’s a really odd script!

I guess I’ll start with the biggest problem I had: the lack of conflict. Conflict occurs when two opposing forces meet. In this case, that would be Ford and Hollywood. Ford wants in. Hollywood doesn’t want to let him in. That’s where the majority of the drama is going to be found.

The thing is, I never got the sense that Ford cared whether he succeeded or not. He talks about his desire to get his SAG card. We even see him go out on auditions. But he’s always indifferent to whether he succeeds or not. I got the sense that he could just as easily be in Oklahoma City and be content. If your main character doesn’t display passion about his goal, then how are we to muster up any enthusiasm to root for him?

Another problem is that watching someone watch movies isn’t dramatically compelling. By no means are we stuck in a theater for ten pages at a time, but it is a big part of the script, and while it does inform us to one of Ford’s quirkier characteristics (his card filing), it pushed me away from the character. Several times I wanted to scream, “Dude! Stop sitting on your ass and go get an acting job!” It was infuriating.  Although I concede that may have been the point.

The script also has a very drifty quality to it that takes getting used to. Once we realize Ford isn’t going to actively pursue his goal, there’s nothing to really drive the story. As a result we simply exist along with him as he makes friends, loses friends, does his job, goes to the movies, etc. That’s the part that reminded me of Forrest Gump. The difference in Gump, however, is that his drifting is a series of spectacles, mind candy that’s fun to watch. Here, Ford’s existence is very mundane, bordering on depressing. He’s not an easy character to get excited about.

What I liked about the script was how it captured Los Angles and the pursuit of the dream. Speaking from experience, it’s very easy to get lost in Los Angeles, to let the city and entertainment business beat you down. If you’re told “no” enough times, you retreat back into the city’s concrete shadows, and years start drifting by without you even realizing it. It’s pretty scary and I think part of the reason this script unnerved me is because it reminded me of that.

So in a roundabout way, whether Dobbs intended for it to be or not, the script is inspiring. The message? Don’t be like this guy! Don’t wait for success to come to you. Go and seize it. Because if you don’t, your life could disappear in an instant.

[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[x] wasn’t for me
[ ] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: Dobbs was asked what he believed constituted a good screenplay. He cited Chinatown, and followed with this: “It’s literate and intelligent and fresh and compelling and unusual and deeply-felt and personal and entertaining. The dialogue sings and sparkles, there are memorable lines. You’re stimulated and engaged and surprised and moved. And even if a great director makes it his own and changes the ending and this and that, it’s still essentially what it was meant to be from the mind and heart and soul and talent and experience — both creative and autobiographical — of its sole author… Most of all [with every good script], the writer starts with himself, his own private obsessions and interests and agonies — and makes them public.”

Genre: Indie/Drama/Love Story
Premise: After a young woman in a small town finds out she’s going to die, she meets a man who will go to the ends of the earth to preserve her memory.
About: This was one of the ten finalists in the 2010 Nicholl Fellowship screenwriting contest. The Nicholl is the biggest screenwriting competition in the world. It receives over 6000 entries every year. Friends who read all the scripts recommended The Last Queen to me.
Writer: Tim Macy
Details: 104 pages – undated (This is an early draft of the script. The situations, characters, and plot may change significantly by the time the film is released. This is not a definitive statement about the project, but rather an analysis of this unique draft as it pertains to the craft of screenwriting).

I wasn’t going to review any Nicholl scripts this year but a bunch of you kept e-mailing asking me to please please please review them so I finally decided to read one. I understand the curiosity. Screenwriters want to see what’s winning or placing in the biggest screenwriting competition in the world. Makes sense. Unfortunately, I think they’re curious for the wrong reasons. It seems like most writers want to see what won just so they can say, “That?? That won over *my* script?? There’s no way! Contests are shams!”

Here’s the thing with screenwriting contests. When you become a really good writer, people notice, and they start paying you for it. Once you get paid, you can’t enter a lot of these contests (You don’t qualify for Nicholl if you’ve made – I believe – more than 5,000 dollars writing). That means that the entrants in these competitions are all true amateurs. And we’re amateurs for a reason. Because we haven’t figured it out yet.

Sure we’ll have a great scene here or a great villain there. But we might not know how to build up a second act yet. We might not know how to arc our main character. We might have trouble with dialogue or not yet know how to add conflict to our scenes. We may not have discovered subtext. We might make things too easy for our characters. We might not know when to cut a pointless subplot or how to fix a romance that has no spark. There are hundreds of skills that need to be perfected in screenwriting and that takes time. It’s part of the challenge of this unbelievably difficult craft, and what makes it so fun.

So don’t cut these scripts down because they won. Try to figure out what they did right. Learn from them. This isn’t a panel of dopes deciding on these things. These are guys who know their shit. Figure out why they’re picking these screenplays over yours then use that knowledge to improve your next draft.

All right. After that long and possibly worthless rant, let’s get on to our review…

Neff is a small town 20-something girl who lives alone in a trailer. High school was pretty good to her but she’s fallen through the cracks since. She works as a checker at “Tut’s,” the local supermarket, throwing boxes of saturated fat across a scanner all day until her hands go numb.

Neff’s only real hope is her writing. She’s written a novel titled “The Last Queen” which she’s sent to every publisher known to man. They’ve all rejected her.

One night after work, Neff loses control of her car and crashes. It shakes her up a bit but she feels fine. That is until the doctors inform her that the crash has opened a vessel in her brain, and that this particular inoperable injury will kill her within a few weeks. Make sure to wear your seatbelts boys and girls. And don’t text and drive.

On the other side of town, Livingston Wells, a plain staunchy young man, has come back home to bury his father, who’s left Livingston his farm. Livingston’s bitchy older sister, Juniper, is running for Mayor of the town, and wants to buy the farm from Livingston and use it as a food source for the town, in hopes that the gesture will win her votes.

Livingston could care less. That is until he runs into Neff. You see, Livingston has been in love with Neff ever since they were kids. But high school being the way it is, she never noticed him. Before he treks back off into the real world, he figures ‘why not,’ and marches over to Tut’s to ask her out (in one of my favorite scenes of the script).

It doesn’t take long for Neff to reveal her predicament though, and their relationship is off to the races, trying to cram in as much together time as two can in a few weeks. Eventually, however, they have to face reality, and when Neff tells him about her fascination with ancient pharaohs, Livingston comes up with the idea that they build her a tomb here on his farm.

See Neff is terrified of being forgotten. And by Livingston’s estimation, the adjacent river will feed back over the burial site in about 10,000 years, exposing the tomb and allowing whoever is around at the time to dig her up. She’ll essentially become a link to the past for whoever’s around then.

Of course, as Livingston begins to build this thing, the town rebels against it, and since questionable activity from a brother doesn’t help your Mayoral race, Juniper spearheads a movement to stop Livingston from building the tomb. 

The Last Queen is reminiscent of two of my favorite movies, Field of Dreams and The Sweet Hereafter, and while it almost gets swallowed up by its own ambitions, I liked it quite a bit.

Obviously, the subject matter is pretty morbid. I mean the entire story is focused on a character who’s about to die. As a writer, it’s pretty tough to pull in anyone other than a niche audience when death is the theme of your movie.

So what do you do?

You include humor.

If you can make the audience laugh, they’ll be more willing to go on this journey with you, as we are here. I wasn’t a huge fan of The Bucket List, but that’s another movie where we know one of the characters is going to die at the end. People went to that movie in droves because it didn’t wallow in that reality. It looked (and the characters looked) for humor in it.

Here, Neff is celebrating absurd future birthdays with people she doesn’t know. She’s sarcastic, constantly commenting on the ridiculousness of the ordeal. There’s a lightheartedness to the whole thing that keeps the story from becoming a melodramatic mess. I probably would’ve liked even more humor, but what’s here is adequate.

I also want to applaud Macy for solving a tough problem. How do you write a movie about a guy willing to mortgage his house to build a tomb for a girl he started dating three days ago? We’re simply not going to buy that story without some extenuating circumstances. So Macy made the smart choice of giving Livingston a lifelong crush on Neff. Essentially, this relationship started a long time ago. Just not on Neff’s side. This may seem unimportant. But you need to make sure the logic of your characters’ choices holds up in a screenplay. If your character does something nonsensical just because you need him to to make the story work, your screenplay will scream amateur.

The Last Queen also has a couple of nice ticking time bombs going for it. Obviously you have Neff’s death. But you also have a parallel ticking time bomb in the town election, which pushes our villain, Juniper, to act now as opposed to later. These are the things that add urgency to your story, which I don’t see in a lot of contest scripts that aren’t advancing. Ticking time bombs are the easiest way to give thrust and immediacy to your story.

I did have some problems with the script, but nothing that can’t be fixed. People are going to go nuts about the on-the-nose character naming here. Neff (Nefertiti). She works at “Tut’s” (King Tut). I think Macy takes it a little too far and while this didn’t really bother me, I know it bugs the hell out of other readers.

It’s also never explained how Neff became a recluse when she was apparently popular enough in high school to be wanted by all the boys. It’s rare in small towns that that kind of person just dissolves and becomes a hermit. I mean she doesn’t have a husband, a boyfriend, a best friend, anything really. And it’s not clear to me why that is but I can take a guess.

For whatever reason, early on in every writer’s career, they’re attracted to loner characters. They like characters who are out on their own doing nothing, probably because that’s kind of how writers are. But it’s hard to make these kinds of characters interesting and I believe that’s the case here. Neff is so distant, so inaccessible that it’s hard to connect with her. In fact, her personality is so protected, we have trouble believing that she’s even interested in Livingston in the first place. And for this to work, you have to believe in the love between these two. So it’s not there yet, but it can get there.

The Last Queen was right up my alley. It has its faults but overall it’s a unique offbeat story that’s worth checking out.

[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[x] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

WHAT I LEARNED: Make sure the love interest in your screenplay is just as fleshed out as your hero. When you write a script, your first job is to deal with your main character’s life: their backstory, their flaws, their idiosyncrasies, their relationships with friends and family, any inner conflict they’re dealing with, etc. But what I’ve found is that writers get so exasperated from building that character, they give only half the effort when building up the romantic interest. Their backstory is half-assed, they probably don’t have a flaw, the writer doesn’t pay attention to their relationships with others. This is a huge mistake. You want to know just as much about the other person as you do the hero. Here, Livingston has a whole life going on before Neff even enters into the equation. His father just died. He has a dysfunctional relationship with his sister. He has to decide whether to sell his farm or not. We could probably build another movie around Livingston because he has so much going on. Make sure to approach all your big characters this way.

Man, I don’t think I’ve read a single one of these.  If you have any of them, please send them my way!  Oh yeah, The Brit List is a list of the best unproduced screenplays from British writers. (edit: Okay, got’em.  Now, if you’ve read any of these and have an opinion, please drop a comment or e-mail me.  I want to know which ones are worth reading).

11 VOTES
SEX EDUCATION by Jonathan Stern and Jamie Minoprio (Casarotto)
Producers: Ruby Films/BBC Films

8 VOTES
CHEERLEADERS by Ben Schiffer (ITG)
Producers: Cloud Eight Films

7 VOTES
HONOUR by Shan Khan (The Agency)
Producers: Dan Films/Parti Productions

SHADOW DANCER by Tom Bradby (Lucas Alexander Whitley (law) Agency)
Producers: Unanimous Pictures/Element Pictures/Wildbunch Production

SONG FOR MARION by Paul Andrew Williams (United Agents)
Producers: Steel Mill Productions

WELCOME TO THE PUNCH by Eran Creevy (ITG)
Producers: Between the Eyes

6 VOTES
BREATHE (aka BACK 2 JACK) by Claire Wilson (Casarotto)
Producers: Element Pictures

ENGAGED by James Condon (unrepresented)
Producers: Silvertown Films

THE ANIMATORS by Clive Dawson (ITG)
Producers: Qwerty Films

5 VOTES
A LONG WAY DOWN BY Jack Thorne (Casarotto)
Producers: Finola Dwyer Productions/Wildgaze Films

GRANNY MADE ME AN ANARCHIST by Ronan Bennett (Tavistock Wood) and Duncan Campbell (United Agents)
Producers: Origin Pictures/Easter Partisan/Film 4

4 VOTES
30 EGGS by Eoin O’Connor (Berlin Associates)
Producers: Treasure Entertainment

BLACKROCK (aka BAD DAY IN BLACKROCK) by Malcolm Campbell (Curtis Brown)
Producers: Element Pictures

FINISHING SCHOOL by Daisy Donovan (ITG)
Producers: Origin Pictures

LAST WILL by Geoff Thompson (Debi Allen Associates)
Producers: Steel Mill Productions

LETTERS FROM AMERICA by Gaia and Hania Elkington (United Agents)

LOVEFEST by Michael Cowen (United Agents)
Producers: Cloud Eight Films/Pathé

THE BRIDE STRIPPED BARE by Andrew Bovell (HLA)
Producers: Forward Films

VALERIO by Kelly Marcel (Casarotto)
Producers: 4DH Films

3 VOTES
3 MINUTE HEROES by Paven Virk (Alan Brodie Representation)
Producers: Mike Elliot

A LITTLE CHAOS by Alison Deegan (The Agency)
Producers: Potboiler

BROKEN by Mark O’Rowe (Curtis Brown)
Producers: Cuba Pictures

DEVOTCHKA by Gary Young (Sara Putt Associates) and Geoff Bussetil (ITG)
Producers: Peapie Films

ELFIE HOPKINS AND THE GAMMONS by Riyad Barmania (Alan Brodie Representation) and Ryan Andrews (ITG)
Producers: Size 9

FUMBLING by Stephen Prentice (The Rod Hall Agency)
Producers: DJ Films

GIRL’S NIGHT OUT by Trevor De Silva (The Rod Hall Agency)
Producers: Ecosse Films

JAMAICA INN by Patrick Harbinson (ITG) and Michael Thomas (Casarotto)
Producers: Hilary Heath/BBC Films

KARENFAN by Geoff Bussetil (ITG)
Producers: Peapie Films

MODERN LIFE IS RUBBISH by Philip Gawthorne (Curtis Brown)

ON CHESIL BEACH by Ian McEwan (The Agency)
Producers: Neal Street

PASSPORTS by Paloma Baeza (The Agency)
Producers: Focus Films

SUITE FRANCAISE by Saul Dibb (Casarotto)
Producers: Qwerty Films/TF1

THE LOVERS by Bridget O’Connor (Michelle Kass Associates)
Producers: Thomas Thomas Films

THIS LITTLE PIGGY by Corinna Faith (Curtis Brown)
Producers: Warp Films

WILLIAM AND HAROLD by John Hodge (United Agents)
Producers: Cloud Eight Films/Pathé

 Anytime we can work Ryan Seacrest into a Scriptshadow review is a great day, right?  I’m being facetious btw.  But hey, it just proves that any little nook you can carve yourself in this business is a potential stepping stone to bigger things.  Welcome back from what I hope was a wonderful weekend.  Got a mixed bag for you this week.  I review one of the most well-known unproduced screenplays in history.  What I have to say about it might surprise you.  I also take on a forgotten comedy script from 2007 that they should put into production tomorrow.  I review a hot indie project that recently came together which turned out to be awesome.  I also got a finalist from a recent screenplay competition.  Definitley some readable scripts this week.  And on top of all that, Roger’s here to review another 2007 script with a great title, Kamikaze Love.  

About: Chad Damiani and J.P. Lavin were writers on Ryan Seacrest’s KISS-FM Morning Show and American Idol when this 2007 Black List script sparked a heated bidding war between the studios and was ultimately set up at Screen Gems. Since then, they’ve been attached to a bevy of hot projects, from Rob Liefeld’s “Capeshooters” to the Taylor Lautner Mattel action figure vehicle, “Max Steel“. They were also the writers on the 2007 Fox comedy/reality pilot, “Anchorwoman”.

One of my favorite flicks is Quentin Tarantino and Tony Scott’s “True Romance“. It’s an Elmore Leonard plot strained through the filter of a narrative junky and cinephile, and thus its wrapping consists of Spaghetti Western Mexican stand-offs, a Sgt. Fury and His Howling Commandos comic given as a keepsake, lines of dialogue (Christopher Walken and Dennis Hopper are monologue-slayers in this movie) that sparkle in the mind like diamonds, and squibby Peckinpah deaths that would even make John Woo proud. All wrapped around a gooey true love conquers all center. Sure, it can be considered a male geek wish fulfillment fantasy and it’s more about the buddy aspect of a relationship, but hey, I still find it romantic. I still find it hopeful. I still find it relevant. 

Which is why I was disappointed when people were comparing that Zac Efron project “Die In a Gunfight” to it and discovered that the spec was more Godard narrative experiment than a deftly plotted young couple on the run caper. I’ve been patiently waiting for a movie to seize the True Romance mantle, to grab the baton and just run with it. The closest thing I could find that successfully ran with it was Garth Ennis’ “Preacher“, but that’s not a movie (yet). Then this 2007 Black List script came along, and it wasn’t until the halfway mark that I realized “True Romance” finally had a worthy successor in Chad Damiani and J.P. Lavin’s “Kamikaze Love”.

Genre: Period/Western/Civil War
Premise: A woman loses her children to a tribe of Indians and lives every day only to see them again.
About: Back in 2003, Fox offered Stowe $3 million, and later $5 million, for her script, with Ridley Scott poised to direct and Russell Crowe to star. She turned down what was among the highest sums offered a first-time scribe because there was no promise she would be anything more than screenwriter. — The movie will star Hugh Jackman, Rachel Weisz, and Hollywood hotshot Robert Pattinson.
Writer Madeleine Stowe

When I heard that Unbound Captives was a “period piece”, I got excited. I feel like we haven’t had a good period piece in a long time. Braveheart, Titanic, and then…well, I can’t really think of any (suggestions in the comments section please – and no, I don’t count Galdiator as a good period piece). So when I opened it up and realized the period was……… mid-1800s America and it was about Indians, I was really bummed. For me personally, that just isn’t an interesting time in American history. BUT I will say that the one movie I *did* like with Indians was a little movie called Last Of The Mohicans helmed by Director/God Michael Mann, and starring noneother than…you guessed it, Madeleine Stowe, the writer/director of Unbound Captives. For that reason, I was willing to give Captives the benefit of the doubt.

As I trudged through the opening pages, I was starting to feel a lot less benefit and a lot more doubt. Unbound Captives felt a bit like pulling teeth at times. Although there are some exciting moments, films where a bunch of Indians and Americans are shooting at each other seem to blend into a mishmash of cliches for me. It all feels a bit too generic. Now whether this has to do with my predisposition to disliking these kinds of movies or the script itself, I couldn’t really tell you. All I can say is it’s never good when you’re rereading every sentence twice because your mind keeps drifting.

Tom, 30s, is a language-translator between the Indians and the white man. He seems lost, a little bit out there, a man unsure of his place in the world. He travels with Neighbors, a U.S.-Indian ambassador. The two are obviously close friends. They are currently trying to warn a large tribe of Indians that an attack on them by the white man is coming. No sooner is this warning heeded than an assassination attempt on the Indians erupts. Confusion everywhere. No one knows that the white assassin isn’t affiliated with the white ambassadors, causing the Indians to immediately attack every white man in sight.

Though many die, Tom and Neighbors make it out okay, only to come home where Neighbors is quickly murdered the next day (for his affiliation with the Indian people). Tom, who we already know has issues, takes this as a sign to go on a spiritual journey.

This allows us to shift our focus to May, a happy loving mother of two, a boy and a girl. Things aren’t gonna be happy for long though because an Indian tribe raids May’s village, killing all in sight, and taking with them her two children. We find out later that this raid was the direct result of Tom telling the Indians that the white man was coming. The Indians decided to move first. Oops.

As if that weren’t enough, May’s husband ends up the only man killed on some unrelated soldier brigade. Talk about a bad day! As a result, May, just like Tom, pulls away from the world and goes on her own spiritual journey. She spends all her days thinking about her son and daughter. And though a little hope dies each night, she never runs out. She will find her children.

Enter Tommy boy, back from his soul-searching trip and just as bummed about the world as May is. So it’s no wonder they fall in love and get married. But as old secrets creep up, it isn’t long before May finds out that Tom was indirectly responsible for the slaughter of her village and kidnapping of her children. Tom, feeling the heat of the world’s biggest guilt-trip, takes it upon himself to find them, or die trying.

And there you have it my friends. That’s pretty much the plot of Unbound Captives. I have to say that this is a tough one to call. Reading it, I could almost feel the colors. Sense the light. I could hear the sounds. I could smell the air. It’s very cinematically written. But I think it’s cinematically written to a fault, because the key element driving the story – May seeing her children again – drifts in and out as being an active element. Sometimes they’re looking for the children. Other times they’re not. And it’s in those times where they’re not that Unbound Captives just sits there, unsure of what to do with itself.

Occasionally though, even in those slower moments, there is magic. There’s a heartbreaking scene, for example, when May is in her cabin during a cold winter, 7 years removed from the kidnapping, and all she can think about is if her kids are warm or not, wherever they are. It hits you hard. And we can really sense this woman’s pain. And then there are other times, spanning pages and pages, where it feels like absolutely nothing is happening. Yet I understand that there’s a rhythm to this kind of film that requires patience so who knows? Maybe it will all work out in the end. But for me, scriptwise, it was a little too slow and I wasn’t as engaged as I wanted to be. Here’s to hoping the film overcomes that. :)

script link: Unbound Captives

[ ] trash
[x] barely kept my interest
[ ] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: I think Unbound Captives reminded me that it’s okay to slow down sometimes and let your character experience a moment. There’s so much pressure to keep things moving in a screenplay (I’ve said this before), we forget that some of the best moments happen when your characters are doing just the opposite. There’s a moment where Tom walks up the hill late at night to simply stare at the stars. This reminded me of the scene in Star Wars where Luke walks up the sand dune to take in the dual-sunset. It’s one of the most powerful moments in the film and it’s something we see less and less of these days.