note: Scroll down for Friday’s review

So a few months ago I held a free contest over on the Done Deal Message Boards. It was a very simple competition. The first 100 people to contact me got in. Over the next three months I read all 100 scripts. In the end, there were three that really impressed me. I can’t speak about the top two because they’re currently being looked at by two of the top agencies in town, but as for this last one, all I can say is I really really liked this script and was shocked that the writer wasn’t already represented.

Without going into too much detail, the script is sort of an understated cross between Basic Instinct and Gothika (although Gothika hinted at the supernatural. This is *not* supernatural. It’s based completely in reality). It also has shades of The Stepfather and The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle. The thing that scares me the most is: How well do you know the person closest to you? We all think we do. But what really goes on in their minds? What secrets do they keep from us? What are they capable of? That’s what this script explores.

What popped out at me was just how cheap this could be made for. You could go the independent route and make it for nothing. Or you could nab a couple of big stars and make it a studio movie. Anyway, I realize this is a bit unorthodox, but if you’re interested, please e-mail me at Carsonreeves1@gmail.com. I’ll speak with the writer afterwards and let her decide who she wants to send the script off to.

Genre: Thriller
Premise: An American tourist is roped in by a mysterious woman who uses him as bait to find her lost lover.
About: The Tourist is the project Tom Cruise was attached to but ditched in favor of Wichita. Once he left, the younger, beefier, and Australianer Sam Worthington took his place. Worthington, best known for landing the lead role in James Cameron’s smurf adaptation, Avatar, was also up for the part of James Bond, ultimately won by Daniel Craig. Julian Fellows is the Oscar winning screenwriter of Gosford Park. The Tourist will be produced by Roger Birnbaum, Gary Barber and Jonathan Glickman. It is a remake of a recent French film.
Writer: Julian Fellows (revisions by William Wheeler – based on “Anthony Zimmer” by Jerome Salle. Current revisions by Jeffrey Nachmanoff. Ernest Hemingway, Bill Cosby, and a bucket of elves are also reported to have worked on the script).
Details: 103 pages (June 9, 2008 draft)

Sam Worthington is a bit of a curiosity at this point. Because of the longstanding tradition of Australian hunks who have been anointed super-stardom here in the states, whenever a new one comes along we blindly trust the Varieties and the Entertainment Weeklys when they tell us they’re the real deal. “This is the next Mel Gibson,” they say. And we shrug our shoulders and go, “All right. You’re the boss.” But what’s really going on here? When Sam Worthington signs on for The Tourist and Clash of the Titans and Last Night (a Scriptshadow Top 25 script), is it because he’s actually a good actor? Or is there something else at play?

Oh, there’s something else all right. It’s called 70 million dollars worth of advertising plastering his face all over the world this winter. These movies aren’t signing this guy on ability. They’re signing him on bank-ability. By the time their movie comes out, the average schmoe will know Sam Worthington’s name and face better than they know their own daughter. Fuck you little Julie, Sam Worthington’s movie is opening this weekend! “Who’s Sam Worthington daddy?” “Hell if I know. He was in the Smurf’s remake!”

You may remember this with other Australian demi-gods like Hugh Jackman, Eric Bana, and the late Heath Ledger. Which begs the question: What the hell is wrong with us Americans?? Are we not sexy enough? Do we not possess the requisite beefiness factor to be considered stud material? Hell, I love Australia. But do we really need to take a 24 hour plane ride to find our next movie star? Thank god for Will Smith, right?

Anyway, whether we approve or not, Worthington is the latest implant and boy is he taking advantage of it. While not everyone watched Terminator Salvation (was that even a Terminator movie?), you can’t discount Cameron’s adaptation of the smurf franchise this winter. At the very least it’ll be watchable. But will Worthington be Michael Biene? (that’s Kyle Reese from the first Terminator film if you’re not paying attention) or will he be the next Sigorney Weaver?

The Tourist is about a man so secret, not even his best friends know what he looks like (he’s had extensive plastic surgery to keep his identity a mystery). And about a woman so gorgeous, men fall in love with her at just a glance. The man’s name is Alexander, and he seems to have stolen 744 million dollars from the U.S. government in unpaid taxes (Didn’t George Lucas teach us never to base our stories on taxes?). For that reason, since the story is set in Europe, the British government, in cooperation with the American government, very much wants to put an end to elusive Alexander’s freedom. But how do you catch a man when you don’t know what he looks like?? The key is the beautiful woman I just mentioned, Charlize Theron’s Cara. The two used to be an item but were split up when she was captured and he escaped. Out of jail for the first time, it’s assumed that Alexander will try to contact Cara. So a team led by John Ackerman (shamelessly described as a British “Tommy Lee Jones in The Fugitive”) is tailing her, waiting for her to lead him to the pot of gold.

So where the hell is Sam Worthington in all this? Did he catch the last Quantas flight back to Melbourne? No, actually Worthington plays Frank Taylor, an American tourist who somehow gets wrapped up in all this nonsense. You see the clever Alexander sends a message to Cara telling her to get on a train and find someone of similar build to travel with. This way, the police will assume that the man is Alexander, blow his brains out, and Cara can slip off to rendezvous with the real Alexander, living happily ever after.

So innocent Frank cannot believe his good fortune when Cara approaches him on the train. It never occurs to him that the hottest woman in the world hitting on him might be the least bit suspicious. Nope, it doesn’t matter if you’re the Elephant Man. If a beautiful woman approaches you, the male ego simply assumes it’s a result of his indescribable inner awesomeness. The scenes where Cara playfully flirts with Frank are some of the best in the script. From the Shanghai Express to Venice, it’s like a big budget Before Sunrise as the two connect on several levels, or so Frank assumes. But no sooner does this dream ride begin than it all comes crashing down, like a game of jenga after a dozen bud lights. Cara disappears out of Frank’s life and it’s then that we learn that the police aren’t the only ones looking for Alexander. Mr. Nip/Tuck himself apparently double-crossed a very eccentric Russian mobster named Demidov – who wants Alexander Demi-dead. Or all the way dead.

After a chase so extensive it makes Jason Bourne look like he’s stuck in a wheelchair, Frank escapes the Vodka Express, barely intact. Sir Tommy Lee Jones then fills him in on the details. Who Cara *really* is and where they think she’ll find the elusive Alexander. I was a little confused as to why the police would tell a random guy all their deepest secrets about an international top secret case that’s been going on for a decade but whatever. You go with it. Needless to say we eventually learn that not everything is as it seems. But is it ever?

The Tourist isn’t bad by any stretch of the imagination. But it certainly isn’t breaking any new ground. I don’t know if you figured out who Alexander was, but I sure did….by page 10! Granted I’m super-sleuther read-every-script-in-the-world, sizing up every usual suspect the second they hit the screen. But in a script that sort of telegraphs its ultra-snazzy twist in the first act, I wonder if people won’t be leaving this movie ultra-disappointed.

It’s not a total loss. The journey is fun. And Cara is definitely a winning role. But I see why Cruise left the film. For the majority of the movie, Frank is more passive than Ghandi. And even as he tries to turn the table in the end and become super-spy 009, you’re sitting there thinking, “Aren’t you a little late to the game my faux-American friend?” You can decide for yourself though. I’ll certainly be interested in hearing your thoughts.

[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] barely kept my interest
[x] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: I’d really really avoid comparing any of your characters to one of the all time great characters in cinema. Tommy Lee Jones in The Fugitive is cinematic royalty. As soon as Fellows described him as such, the movie lost a considerable amount of its originality. It just shows a lack of imagination on the writer’s end. You should always try to create unique characters that no one’s ever seen before, especially in your antagonists. Fellows is lucky he’s won an Oscar. Because a first-timer would get killed for pulling something like this.

Friend of the site Joshua James has a great blog where he chronicles his life as a writer (and family man) and today he posted a cool little article on what an “option” is. Although there’s no road map in securing that elusive six figure sale, having a few options in play definitely inspires more trust from buyers. Go read the article now!

Genre: Dramedy
Premise: An ex-inventor tries to reconnect with his daughter after a 12 year jail sentence.
About: Kevin Spacey, Camille Bell, Heather Graham, Virginia Madsen, and Johnny Knoxville to star. Pic will be produced by Krane Films and Trigger Street Productions, Kevin Spacey and Dana Brunetti plus Jonathan Krane, Anthony Cohen, and Ken Barbet. Father of Invention was filmed in News Orleans. I’d be remiss if I didn’t say I was worried about the director, Trent Cooper. His only big credit is Larry The Cable Guy: Health Inspector. That’s not even the first Larry The Cable Guy. But hey, everybody gets their breakthrough shot, and after that you get to show what you’re really made of. If Cooper had anything to do with this script, I’m willing to give him a chance.
Writer: Johnathan D. Krane (current revisions by Trent Cooper)
Details: 109 pages (4-30-09)

Wow, what an unexpected treat. “Father Of Invention” is a script I’ve been avoiding forever because let’s face it: the title kinda blows. But now that I’ve finished it, I’m kicking myself for not reading it sooner. I still don’t know exactly how to describe the screenplay. I know that while reading it I kept thinking it was like a weird bizarro companion piece to American Beauty. There are a lot of similarities between the main character, Robert Axle, and the nostalgia-obsessed Lester Burnham. Yet Father of Invention is its own unique experience. And as it stands, it’s one of the better scripts I’ve read this year.

Robert Axle has just been released from a dozen year stay in the slammer. Our hero used to be an inventor, or “fabricator”, as he likes to put it. He thinks up all of those crazy useless gadgets people actually spend money on at 3 in the morning watching QVC. Problem is that one of these gadgets ended up de-fingering 6000 customers (turns out if you used it for 19 hours straight it slid open and chopped your fingers off). So no biggie. All Axle had to do was forfeit his 1.7 billion dollar company and take a 12 year seat next to a building full of hardened criminals.

Now that Robert’s out, he can’t wait to seek out some new ideas. Even on his bus ride into town, he’s already trying to combine everyday gadgets into some new super-gadget that nobody’s thought of yet. But life on the outside is a lot different in 2009. And in one of the funnier moments, Robert spots a kid and starts pitching him on a new revolutionary invention he’s thought of: “Would you buy a phone that also reads…e-mail?” the kid takes out his phone. “You mean a Blackberry?” Yeah, it’s safe to say Robert’s a little out of touch. And then there’s his daughter, Claire. At one point she was the apple of his eye. But as soon as he made his first billion, she could’ve been an apple orchard and he wouldn’t have noticed . She’s never forgotten how he changed. So when Robert shows up at her door begging for a place to stay, she ditches the hugs and kisses in favor of a good old fashioned: “Get the hell out of here!”

Eventually the selfless Claire comes around but not without a strict set of laws. He can stay for one month (ticking time bombs people!) if he agrees to get a *real* job (nothing that has to do with inventing) and doesn’t bother her two roommates. That shouldn’t be a problem with Phoebe, an angry hot lesbian who hates Robert’s guts the second he steps through the door. At least there’s the eternally optimistic Donna, who lives life like her favorite song is always playing. But even her parents have told her to stay in her room where she’s safe from the “convict”. Ouch.

Of course, Robert can’t stay out of the inventing game for long. And after he’s fired from his job (which he doesn’t tell Claire) he gets an idea for a GPS type watch to keep track of your kids. Immediately he’s putting a plan together, targeting investors, building a prototype. The problem is Robert Axle’s name is poison. This is the guy that chopped off 12,000 fingers (the device took two fingers from every person it maimed). The label doesn’t exactly inspire confidence these days. This forces Robert to get creative and recruit the asshole who fired him to be his pitch man (I’m assuming this part will be played by Johnny Knoxville – who’s a perfect fit). But when Robert can’t come up with the money to pay for a prototype, he makes a really bad decision that will come back to haunt him, and ultimately destroy all that good will he worked so hard to build up.

The characters are so well-drawn in Father Of Invention. I kept having to sit back and admire the intricacy in which these people were crafted. It’s hard enough writing one memorable character. Having 5-6 is the equivalent of hitting the cinematic jackpot. I loved how you would think you had everybody tabbed and then, BAM, the characters would do a 180 and completely surprise you. But where this script really shines is in the complex relationship between father and daughter. We want Claire to love Robert again so bad that we’re continuously heartbroken every time they can’t quite make it over the hump. Here is one of those scenes, where Robert’s trying to erase a lifetime of poor parenting in 5 minutes.

INT. NEIGHBORHOOD BAKERY – MOMENTS LATER

Claire and Axle sit opposite each other. Claire’s head buried
in the paper. Axle watches her.

AXLE
When did you learn to sew?

CLAIRE
About six years ago, when I started
the Center.

AXLE
It’s nice, the sewing. Are you gay?

CLAIRE
What kind of a question is that?

AXLE
If you are, it’s cool with me. I just
want you to be happy.

CLAIRE
Just because my life isn’t bogged
down by some man child who wants to
have a say in everything I do, who I
do it with and when it gets done?
…No I’m not gay. I wish it were
that simple.

AXLE
Well none of you girls seem to date
and I find it a little bit odd.

CLAIRE
Donna has been engaged to three
different men and never gone through
with it. No man will ever measure up
to her father. Phoebe dates but
doesn’t bring girls home to meet us
because she thinks we would judge her
and I am very much looking forward to
falling in love but not until I get
my shit together.

AXLE
See there, three things I’ve learned
about Claire Axle: started sewing six
years ago, doesn’t have time for men
and loves the paper.

Claire puts the paper down to address her father directly.

CLAIRE
Two more things: My last name is not
Axle and I’m fond of boundaries.
Hence our thirty day agreement. Which
I refuse to budge on.

He takes a section of newspaper. Tries to give her space.

CLAIRE
And I do have time for men, just not
love. I’ve been having, rabid, erotic
sex with men since I was twelve.

Axle is stunned silent. She lets him suffer then —

CLAIRE
Kidding. I was seventeen.

He breathes a sigh of relief.

CLAIRE
The guy was thirty nine.

Axle sits up straight. This is killing him.

CLAIRE
Kidding about that too. He was
sixteen. …We did it in your office.

His head drops to the table, THUNK, like he’s dead.

CLAIRE
On the desk.

He bangs his head again. She grins, loving this.

CLAIRE
(softening)
My first memory as a human being was
the house on Inverness Court. You
used to sit on the floor with me,
trying to get me to understand how my
stuffed animals and Barbies were all
linked together by atoms and
molecules.

AXLE
Your mom thought I was crazy. I knew
you were smart enough to know what I
was talking about.

CLAIRE
I had no clue. I was just glad you
were on the floor with me.

She goes back to her paper. Axle reflects.

I realize I’m making this script sound pretty sappy but it’s actually hilarious. Phoebe is an actress’ dream she’s so funny. There’s a scene where her and Robert have to steal back Guitar Hero from her ex-boyfriend (yes, you read that right – she has an ex-boyfriend) that’s so ridiculous it actually works. Super-positive Donna’s optimism complements Phoebe perfectly, and when her world is shattered late in the story, instead of getting all mushy, they play it for laughs and it comes out pitch perfect. But Father Of Invention’s greatest feat is something I’m continually trying to tattoo onto your collective brains: Give us something unique and we will respond! Father of Invention simply isn’t like anything I’ve read before.

My only fear for the film is if they try to make it too kooky. It walks such a fine line between drama and comedy that this is one of those things you can screw up with even the slightest miscalculation in tone. My hope is that they’ll err on the side of drama so the film stays grounded. Either way, this was a fun read.

[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] barely kept my interest
[ ] worth the read
[x] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: A lot of movies start with the character at the lowest point in their life. Maybe they just got out of jail. Maybe they just had someone close to them die. Maybe they’ve been fired. This dramatic device works well because when we meet a character at his lowest point, we’re curious to see whether he can climb back up the ladder and find success again, or fall back into his own self-destructive ways. It’s a tried and true device and a great template for a story.

I know I know. You hate me. Once again, I’m relieving myself of reviewing duties for the day. But know that tis is only because I am extremely busy, building a better Scriptshadow for tomorrow, and more importantly, building a better world. I will be back to regular reporting duties Thursday at 12:01 AM with my review of Father Of Invention, a spec that sold with Kevin Spacey attached and that will be produced by his Triggerstreet Productions. As for today’s guest reviewer, you might recognize him as one of our most trusted and insightful commenters, Martin B. It was my idea to give him a shot at reviewing a script because I just really respect his opinion (probably because he always agrees with me). Anyway, the script he’s reviewing is a script that comes highly recommended by a very trusted source. He’s recommended about five scripts to me and I’ve liked all of them. So I’m letting Martin loose to decide if it’s 6 for 6 with …Gaza.

Genre: Drama, Human Interest.
Premise: A British mother goes to Gaza where her journalist daughter has been shot dead while reporting on the Fatah-Hamas conflict. There she must cope with a different culture and a different people, and a political game with very different rules, as she attempts to claim her daughter’s body.
About: Helen Mirren was attached, according to a 2007 report. Filming was initially to take place in Gaza, but switched to Jordan when Gaza became too dangerous. Since then there’s been no news, but it might be IMDb’s Untitled Helen Mirren Project of 2011. Frank Deasy (the writer), an Irishman living in Scotland, is listed by his agent as a playwright who also writes for television (for which he’s received an Emmy)and movies. He tackles difficult subjects — racism in Britain, depression, love in prison, abuse in children’s homes, a boxing alcoholic’s bio, rats invading Manhattan. Now he’s tackling the Middle East, but as you might expect from a playwright, it’s a character study rather than a political movie.The first draft of GAZA just managed to make the 2008 Black List with 5 votes.
Writer: Frank Deasy
Details: 105 pages, Third Draft dated 29/04/09

The story of Gaza concerns Ruth. She is a cancer specialist in London, living a disciplined and emotionally rigid life. Her late husband Simon has been dead for a year. Her television journalist daughter Joanna is on assignment in Gaza. They don’t talk much.

While Ruth examines the scans of a child’s tumor as objectively as she can, Joanna crouches in a car in Gaza frantically trying to contact Fatima, a prostitute. Nearby, Fatah and Hamas militiamen exchange gunfire. Joanna’s cameraman and driver, Sayed, films the action.

It is October 2007. Hamas has won the Palestinian elections of January 2006, but corrupt Fatah, in power since the Oslo Accords of 1993 with the backing of Israel and the West, refuses to hand over power in Gaza. So Hamas, the fundamentalist extremists, the ‘bearded ones,’ branded as terrorists because of their rocket attacks on Israel, must fight to assume the positions they were elected to.

The Fatah strongman and biggest gangster in Gaza, Majed Khazi, drives up to Joanna and Sayed. His men have fancy new weapons, obtained with the connivance of Israel. He comments on Joanna’s new hairstyle. This is significant because, as we learn later, Joanna cultivated prostitutes as informants and met them at a hairdressing salon. Most of the Gaza prostitutes are controlled by the same Majed Khazi.

Worried, Joanna and Sayed drive through the fighting to the salon. During the drive we learn that Joanna and Sayed are in love. As they arrive, the salon blows up. Fatima cannot be found. Joanna does a ‘stand upper’ in front of the bombed salon and is shot while on camera. She dies later in hospital, next to Fatima who lies there with a single bullet wound in her forehead.

This sets the scene.

In London, Ruth learns of her daughter’s death. She hesitates. “I can’t do anything without the facts.” She will learn, in Gaza the facts are forever changing.

She decides to bring Joanna’s body back to England for burial, but in Israel learns a shocking truth — Joanna and Sayed were married, and Sayed is the legal next of kin and wants to bury Joanna in Gaza. She cannot believe that her daughter would marry without telling her, and marry a Muslim (Ruth is a non-practicing Jew). What does this say about her as a mother?

Assisted by Ariel, an Israeli with a secret agenda, she travels to the Erez crossing point. She sees an old folks’ home nearby which has been struck by a Hamas rocket. She crosses into Gaza. There she meets Sayed, and the battle for Joanna’s body begins.

In the meantime Raja, a senior Hamas commander and friend of Sayed’s sister Hanan, siezes Sayed’s camera and tape. He says he doesn’t want to project a bad image of Gaza and frighten off journalists, but it is clear he has hidden reasons for being interested in the tape.

Sayed and Ruth have many arguments during which each party displays a great deal of prejudice, ignorance and ill-feeling. Eventually, a depressed Sayed concedes defeat, saying Joanna’s heart will always be in Gaza, and Ruth sets off with the body for the Erez border post. But nothing is this easy in Gaza.

On the way to the border they are caught in an Israeli military action, a reprisal for the rocket attack. Ruth sees how dwellings are destroyed by Merkava tanks, and civilians mowed down by machine guns. An Arab boy, Khalid, is shot near her. She stanches the wound and rushes him to hospital, where she assists the handsome Dr. Nazeem as he operates on Khalid. There is a definite spark between her and London-trained Nazeem, and the boy Khalid brings out in her a compassion she forgot she had.

Meanwhile, Ruth has become suspicious of Ariel, her Israeli contact. She deduces that Joanna sent vital information concerning Raja or Khazi via email before she died, and Ariel is somehow implicated. What she doesn’t realise is she herself is unwittingly feeding him information.

Ruth gets sucked deeper into events in Gaza. As a single woman with no family she must rely on Sayed and his family and Dr. Nazeem for help. The more contact she has with them, the more she learns that Palestinians are ordinary human beings with hopes and fears, many of them with a refugee background similar to her parents who had fled from Nazi Germany. And she also learns that there’s more to life than interpreting images on a screen. Sometimes you have to put your body on the line to help the ones you love.

But she is also a pawn in a larger game that she cannot influence. Matters between Raja of Hamas and Khazi of Fatah come to a brutal conclusion dictated by realpolitik. Ruth realises she cannot bear witness to what she knows because Israel has learned it must “control the narrative” and ensure its own version of events is the accepted one.

All she can do is try to help Sayed, the man she comes to accept as a son in law. And bitterly say, when asked who was to blame for her daughter’s death, “Someone without a face, without a name — men with power, men with agendas, someone in Jerusalem or Tel Aviv or Damascus, or Cairo — someone in Washington or London. Someone who’s interests are served by murder and war.”

I thought this was a very human, very compelling drama. It’s a powerful and complex narrative with no comic relief. It brings to the screen a neglected and little-known region. Previously the West Bank got most of the press attention regarding Palestinians. Despite its universal theme of a mother dealing with the death of a daughter, it is too serious and deals with a region too remote to gain a large audience. Personally I thought it was impressive, but if the region doesn’t interest you it would still be worth the read.

Some background: The Gaza Strip is tiny; 40 km long and 12 km at its widest. It has a history going back 5,000 years when it was known as the land of Canaan. It has been ruled by Egyptians, Philistines, Persians, Alexander the Great, Imperial Rome, the Caliphates, the Crusaders, Saladin, Mongols, Egyptian Mamluks, Turkish Ottomans, Napoleon (briefly), Egypt, Ottomans again, and it became a British mandate after WWI. It was assigned to an Arab state by the 1947 U.N. partition plan, but administered by Egypt after the 1948 Arab-Israel war. Israel took over the administration after the 1967 Six Day War. (Thanks, Wikipedia.)

When talking about the Middle East, there is always the question of bias. According to my background reading, the portrayal of the situation in Gaza is pretty accurate. One notable omission is suicide bombers. They are not mentioned at all, despite the fact that most suicide bombers come from Gaza. (In the first draft, Dr. Nazeem’s son is a suicide bomber. In the third draft he launches Hamas’ rockets.) So Frank Deasy is writing with a typical liberal bias, castigating Western and Middle East governments without whitewashing the nasty nature of the Hamas and Fatah militias, and without offering any solution.

[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] barely kept my interest
[x] worth the read
[x] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: It’s all about people. You can tackle the toughest and most controversial topics if you focus on the people and the choices they are forced to make. If you can convey people’s hopes and dreams, and show how they are affected by events, you can humanize a situation. Speeches, history lessons, armies and war; a mother’s concern for her child trumps them all.