Hey guys, since yesterday’s news, a bunch of you e-mailed me with a ton of scripts which means I’m basically in love with all of you. Obviously, because I can only review a script a day, I want you to know that just because I don’t review your script right away doesn’t mean I’m not grateful. One of the great things about this blog is that the more successful it gets, the more people there are who want to help. If you really really want a review of something, leave your request in the comments section. Or e-mail me. I’ll try to get it up as soon as possible.

Genre: Spy Thriller
Synopsis: A CIA agent discovers there’s a Russian spy deep inside the organization.
About: This is that infamous project that Tom Cruise was attached to but then got booted off of. Since it’s disaster central for any profile-dropping A-Lister to get booted off a project, Tom’s robots did spin control and all of a sudden Tom hadn’t been let go from the project, he had dropped out of the project. To make matters even more bizarre, he was replaced by Angelina Jolie. Yes, cause that makes sense. There’s an old screenplay adage that goes: If you’re all out of ideas, change the gender of your protagonist. A new world of possibilities will open up. Let’s see what opens up when Angelina Jolie becomes Edwin A Salt.
Writer: Kurt Wimmer

I’m going to tell you to do something I’ve never told you to do before on Scriptshadow. Don’t read this review. Instead, scroll to the bottom, download the script, read it, then come back. Because as Randy Jackson would say, this script was off the hook. I don’t want the review to spoil anything for you. So go read it, come back, and we’ll talk.

Go.

…

Did you read it?

Okay good. We’re ready to have a discussion.

Wasn’t that awesome??? I love Salt. Before? I was just a bland tasteless meal. Then Salt came along and gave me flavor. Even though I’m not normally into spies and double crossing and undercover agents, I couldn’t help but get wrapped up in this badass thriller. I’m an 80s child so the second you start saying things like Cold War and Soviet Union, I’m so right there. Cause I lived it man. I LIVED IT. You think it was easy waking up every day knowing you could get bombed at any second by the Ruskies? Yeah well that was my life.

Salt starts out introducing us to CIA officer Edwin A. Salt and his CIA best friend, Winter. Salt is planning a birthday party for his daughter and he wants it to be the best birthday party ever. Unfortunately, the two have to make a quick detour over to headquarters, and that’s when shit starts going bad. Salt’s CIA position isn’t exactly the top of the food chain. He’s been assigned to Russia, and these days the only Cold War going on is in Putin’s pants if you know what I’m talking about (no, I don’t know either). So normally Salt wouldn’t have much to do. However, a strange Russian man approaches the building and insists Salt hear his story. Salt’s pissed because he has his daughter’s birthday party but work is work and he brings the man in.

The Russian tells him of a secret Russian weapon created back during the Cold War. This weapon was a man – the creme de la creme of soviet espionage. Did you ever see Conan The Barbarian? When Conan has to turn that wheel for like 20 years of his life? Well this guy would’ve walked right over him and gone for another 20. They made this man the smartest, toughest, deadliest, coolest, most perfect spy in the world. His name was “Chekov”, and at age 17, they sent him to the United States to infiltrate the U.S. Government. After 20 years, he has embedded himself so deep inside the CIA, that he has access to every single document in the building. But he’s only looking for one. A document called KA-88. KA-88 is a trigger scenario the U.S. developed in anticipation of its enemies that shows the one weakness in our government/economy that would cause our country to crumble within weeks. Doomsday for America. Chekov has finally gotten clearence to obtain that document. Oh, and one more thing, the Russian says. “You are Chekov.”

Holy shit! DO I HAVE YOUR FUCKING ATTENTION?? I sure have my own. Winter is shocked. His best friend is now his worst enemy. Or is he? Salt swears he knows nothing about this. Yet Salt is in the CIA – he’s one of the best trained liars in the world. So is he lying to cover his lies? Or is he telling the truth? Salt realizes that this case isn’t going to trial. It’s likely going to be decided right here and now. And in the best case scenario, he’s going to be dead. So he flees the building. That, of course, is where the brilliance of the script lies. As Salt goes on the run, we not only don’t know if Salt’s lying to Winter. We don’t know if he’s lying to us. Who is Edwin A. Salt?

Every once in awhile a script comes along that reminds you that what you thought was good writing, was actually only mildly acceptable writing. You are immersed in this world from the get-go. You visualize the movie on each page. The only criticisms I have are that they forgo a lot of the mystery in the last 40 pages and go a little heavy on the action. Still, the ending highway plane take-off scene is going to be IN-SAYNE. This script is a badass recipient of Wimmer’s awesomeness. Loved it.

I don’t know what’s happening lately. All these scripts are making my Top 25. Salt slides into lucky number 21!

[ ] trash
[ ] barely readable
[ ] worth the read
[x] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned from Salt: The last two scripts, which both made it into my Top 25, had very similar structures. Both had one scene where you met the characters, then the very next scene the movie goes on a torrid pace and never lets up. There’s something to be said for scripts that start up fast and keep you on a quick pace the whole way through. Of course they have to be done well to work, but as a spec, I think they have a better chance of capturing someone’s interest than a script that takes its time.

Genre: Comedy
Synopsis: A single father tries to reconnect with his college daughter and teenage son on Spring Break.
About: Comedy spec that sold a couple of weeks ago. From what I heard, it spun around for awhile and nobody bit. Then it got scooped up at the last second.
Writer: Christopher Baldi

The first fifteen pages of the screenplay are always the toughest. Because, as every good screenwriter knows, you’re trying to set up a lot of information in a very short period of time, you’re trying to do it without drawing attention to it, and on top of all that, you’re trying to entertain the audience. That’s why when I started reading Call Me Rusty, I was convinced I was reading some lucky amateur who conned a producer into paying his rent for the next couple of years. Christopher Baldi seemed like he concocted the first 15 minutes of his screenplay on his way to work. Nothing anybody does rings true. The basic set-up of the film is that the boss tells Rusty: “If you want me to give you a promotion, you have to bring me back a picture of you and your family on vacation.” That is the set-up to a script that just sold to mid six-figures.

Needless to say, I didn’t expect much from Call Me Rusty. And for a while, I didn’t get it. RUSTY (who may or may not be Clark Oswald’s son from National Lampoon’s Vacation) is a workaholic who hasn’t paid attention to his family since his wife left them 10 years ago. He’s got a hot 21 year old daughter and a horny teenage son. When he’s denied a promotion for not being enough of a “family man”, he begs his boss to give him a chance to prove that he is. Begrudgingly, his boss says if he spends a vacation with his family and shows him a picture of them together, he’ll think about giving him the promotion.

In the meantime, Rusty’s daughter and her slutty BFF are getting ready for Spring Break. Rusty barrels in and informs them that their party just doubled (the son’s coming along too). Again, wait a minute. Hold up here. Are you asking us to believe that a daughter is going to allow her father to join her on Spring Break? Do you think that in the history of the naughtiest nastiest sickest STD-producing week of the year that any daughter of any father in the world – even Pakistan – is going to say, “Sure dad, come along”? This is the problem with Call Me Rusty. On page 15 your characters are making nowhere near realistic choices. How am I, the reader, supposed to go along with this? This only furthered my suspicion that Baldi had no idea what he was doing.

And then slowly, ever so slowly, after they get to Spring break, I noticed that I was laughing more. Even though the scenes were somewhat episodic, the situations and conversations were making me laugh. To my surprise, Call Me Rusty became one of those rare scripts that got better and better – the savior being Baldi’s dialogue, which was fun, snappy, eccentric, yet never Juno-esque.

The highlight of the script is a silly but lol scene where Kristin is forced to play a game of truth-or-dare with her father. The whole time I’m thinking, “This is so stupid. This is so dumb”, and yet I couldn’t stop laughing. It had the potential to go to some really bad places (the dad and Kristin’s slutty friend hooking up) and even though it would’ve been funny, that’s not what the script is about. It’s about a father trying to reconnect with his family, and Call Me Rusty kind of succeeds. Sure, the script doesn’t break any new ground and it’s hardly one for the ages, but it’s a good solid comedy script and I can see why it got bought.

[ ] trash
[ ] barely readable
[x] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned from Call Me Rusty: Iron out your set up (first 10-15 pages). It’s the hardest part of the script because you’re setting up so much information in such a short period of time. But if you don’t put the effort in, it’s going to come off feeling forced. Even though Call Me Rusty recovered, with some effort it never would’ve had to recover in the first place. “Bring back a picture of you and your family and you get the promotion.” Are you serious? Had this issue been solved from the get-go, it wouldn’t have taken 2 weeks for this to sell.

Well, I totally went off-book last week. But you know, the great ones always do. This week, I promise to get to that recently sold comedy spec that surprised me annnnnnnd a new script breaks my top 25. Maybe even TWO scripts. I don’t know if I want to post both in the same week though because that would mean that Pictures of You and Prisoners would have to say goodbye. And since I don’t want to upset Mark Wahlberg’s people I simply can’t do that. Be prepared for me to totally disregard this outline as well. I’m so unpredictable. Have a great week!

Okay folks, just like before, here are the script summaries for the latter half of my top 25 scripts (except for the ones already reviewed on the site). Almost every single one is available to download. Just click on the link in the top 25 list. There’s some great stuff here. Hope to help you find a good read.

The Oranges
Genre: Dark Comedy
This was numero 2 on the 2008 Black List behind that silly Badger Puppet script, and in my opinion, a much better read! Taking place in suburbia, a man falls in love with his neighbor’s (and best friend’s) college daughter. But instead of trying to hide it, they come clean to their respective families. Usually, these movies are about sneaking around. So the twist of it being out in the open allows them to explore a whole new area of comedy.

Strange Skies
Genre: Very Dark Comedy
I’ve actually had some arguments with people about this one. It’s about a married man whose wife is pushing him to start a family. He doesn’t want to so he…pretends to have cancer. Yes, you heard that right. Watching this character delve deeper and deeper into his lie makes this read both horrifying and fascinating. You simply cannot look away. I loved this script but understand why it might turn others off

37th Dimension
Genre: Wild Fucked-up Action/Gangster
I read this going on the title alone and was not disappointed. This script is what would happen if Guy Ritchie had sex with Quentin Tarantino and their baby grew up on a steady diet of heroin and acid. One of the most original scripts I’ve ever read. There is a turtle-man. Yes, a half-man, half-turtle. Nuff said!

Untitled Vanessa Taylor Project
Genre: Drama
Talk about going from one extreme to the other. This is about as anti-37th Dimension as you can get. Despite the single most boring title in the history of script reading, there’s a lot to like here. It’s about a couple in their 40s on the brink of divorce who attempt to save their marriage. It is very slow. It is mostly depressing. But if you’re like me and are interested in relationships and how people who start out loving each other can grow so far apart, then this is a great script. Black List 08.

I Want To F___ Your Sister
Genre: Comedy
Moving from the single worst title in the world to the single best title, is there anything that really needs to be said about I Want to F__ Your Sister? Other than that we’re all kicking ourselves for not thinking of the title first? I mean, if a script was ever going to sell on its title alone, this would be the one. A guy’s hot sister starts working with him at the stock exchange. He must fend off the 11,000 crazed horny co-workers who want to fuck her.

Armored
Genre: Action
This is the script you want to study if you’re trying to come up with a strong smart concept. From IMDB: “A guard for an armored truck company is coerced by his veteran coworkers to steal a truck containing $10 million.” But that’s just the beginning. It’s best to go into this one knowing little. Contact me if you’re interested.

Roundtable
Genre: Comedy/Action
Another great concept. Four modern-day knights (and by “modern day” we mean knights who have been knighted for things like acting and bacterial analysis) find themselves called upon to save the planet from an ancient evil force. It needs a rewrite but this *is* the modern day Ghostbusters. The wax museum scene alone is worth the price of admission.

Pictures Of You
Genre: Comedy
A high school kid finds a camera on the beach that belongs to the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. He decides to find her and profess his love. This one lacks some focus (it takes the entire movie for him to go after the girl), but I’m such a fan of the “found camera” premise and there are some hilarious scenes (accidentally getting stuck in his twin sister’s closet when she’s changing for example). The writer assured me he’s addressing these problems in the rewrite.