Genre: Drama (Dark Comedy)
Premise: A couple of friends plan out a relaxing weekend vacation, but get involved with a party of wealthy snobs on the verge of a wedding instead.
About: This will be Max Winkler’s directing debut. It will star Jesse Eisenberg (Adventureland) and Michael Anagarano (Snow Angels) and be produced by Jason Reitman (director of Juno). Max Winkler is the son of The Fonz.
Writer: Max Winkler

No idea who this girl is. I just wanted to include a hot girl in the picture.

If you’ve been following Scriptshadow long enough, you know that I’ve read two of Max Winkler’s scripts. The first is The Ornate Anatomy Of Living Things (co-written with Matt Spicer), which I thought was awesome and stands strong in my Top 25. While it’s not for everyone, the Kaufman-esque tale of a bookstore clerk who discovers a museum dedicated to his life is one of the most imaginative scripts I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading, and it put Winkler and Spicer on the “I’ll read anything of theirs” list (a prestigious list if I do say so myself). The second is the one million dollar spec Winkler and Spicer co-wrote with Jonah Hill, “The Adventurer’s Handbook.” I like Winkler and Spicer. I like Jonah Hill. How I came to dislike this script so much then is a bit of a mystery. I think it was the issue of squandered opportunity, a cool idea sacrificed for Apatow-style “guys hang around and make fun of each other for 120 minutes” humor. Whereas Ornate had imagination to spare, Handbook’s imagination would’ve taken its own adventure to find. In retrospect, however, I champion the sale. A big spec sale is good for all writers. Inspires other companies to go out and make their own big spec splash.

I didn’t know much about Ceremony other than Winkler was writing alone this time and would be using this as his first directing vehicle. Hooking up with the talented Reitman as producer was also a smart move. The draft I read was dated late 2008, so I’m sure some of its contents have changed since then. I’m guessing the overall story and characters haven’t though. So how was it? Let’s find out.

Overly selfish Sam, 24, is an unsuccessful children’s book author who’s recently connected with his psychologically scarred best friend, Marshall, whose defining characteristic is that he always seems to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown. The two haven’t seen each other in forever because the selfish Sam stopped returning Marshall’s calls. Lucky for Marshall, Sam’s invited him to a weekend getaway where the two can catch-up and patch-up their friendship. They head off to the New York countryside and find a little hotel in the middle of nowhere.

Once there, however, Sam immediately starts acting strange. He’s always distracted, and seems particularly obsessed by the large party of people residing at a nearby mansion. Instead of plugging up old holes in their friendship, Sam suggests they head over to the mansion and see what all the fuss is about. Marshall, who seems incapable of thinking for himself, reluctantly agrees. Once at the party, it becomes clear that Sam is looking for someone. And that someone is the stoic emotionally unavailable Zoe, who happens to be ten years Sam’s senior. It’s clear that the two have some kind of past together and that Sam is here to declare his love for her. Little does he know (or did he know?) Zoe is getting married this weekend to the even more selfish documentary filmmaker “Save The World” Bono-wannabe, Whit. It doesn’t take long for us to realize that “rekindling his friendship” with Marshall was never a part of the weekend plans. Sam merely used Marshall for his car. The rest of the story concerns Sam desperately trying to convince Zoe to run away with him, while the oblivious Marshall tries to refocus Sam on their friendship.

In short, I didn’t want to participate in this ceremony. The movie’s full of characters who are extremely difficult to like. Sam is so selfish and so cruel to Marshall, it’s hard to muster up even a sliver of sympathy for him. And Marshall is so spineless and such a loser, you practically root for someone to kick his ass. Zoe’s emotional unavailability and constant toying with Sam makes her just as bad as the others. It’s like hanging out at a party with a bunch of people you don’t like. There are shades of Max’s relationship with Rosemary in the great movie, Rushmore, here, but those characters were dripping with heart. I can’t find a pulse in any of Ceremony’s characters and it made for a disappointing read.

I’m hoping these problems were addressed in the rewrites, but even if they weren’t, I root for this movie to do well. It’s normally the kind of film I fall head over heels for and I’d like for nothing more than to be proved wrong. Winkler’s still on my “Read anything of his” list but as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t get into Ceremony.

Link: No link

[ ] trash
[x] barely kept my interest
[ ] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: Winkler and Reitman seem to be subscribing to the theory that Eisenberg and Anagarano will make these characters tolerable. Casting actors to make up for character issues in a script is always a risky proposition. Of course there are cases of it working, but even if you cast Tom Hanks as Adolf Hitler, it doesn’t mean we’re going to like Adolf Hitler. It’s best to address these issues on the page, where you still have control.

Genre: Sci-Fi Thriller
Premise: An ex-professor seeks the truth about a secret organization known as the “Karma Coalition.”
About: A high-profile pick-up from Warner Bros. in late 2008 to the tune of 1.5 million. Christensen is the lead singer for a band called Stellarstarr. Christensen also co-wrote “Sidney Hall” which has been set up with producers Ridley and Tony Scott.
Writer: Shawn Christensen

“I just sold a script for 1.5 million dollars suckerrrrrs!”

Now I’ve caught a lot of flak for liking this script so much. People barrage me with arguments like “It’s got plot holes you could drive a semi through!” They say it’s cheesy, clunky, and all over the place. You know what I say? You’re wrong. You’re 93% stinking wrong! This script was a hell of a ride. Not to mention I’m a sucker for a good “ordinary man in extrodinatry circumstances” tale – and Karma Coaliton takes care of my fix.

Beware. Major spoilers follow. Part of the reason I liked this script so much was that I didn’t have any clue what it was about going in. So if you plan on reading it, tread carefully.There are spoiler landmines everywhere.

A recent flap of deaths has been occurring all over the world – deaths of very important people: Archdioceses, scientists, celebrities. But why? What’s the connection? There’s someone who knows. Someone who’s been betting on these deaths from the beginning. And getting it right every single time. So we’re going to find out who this person is and how they’re making these amazing predictions right? Wrong. The prognosticator is killed on Page 6.

Whoa.

William Craft, a relatively young college professor who just lost his job for sleeping with one of his students (wait a minute, don’t all college professors sleep with their students? I thought that was one of the perks.) is just trying to make it to the next day. He’s a widow. His soul mate/wife/love of his life died in a car accident six years ago. Without her, he’s been stumbling through life, looking for a purpose.

William’s life is turned upside-down when the police blow into his place and arrest him. Remember the prognosticator? Turns out William used to be friends with him. He’s thrown into an interrogation room and told that he’s under suspicion for the murder of this man. Before they deal with that, however, the cop slides a mysterious box across the table and asks William to open it. The box belonged to the prognosticator and was left to William.

William carefully pries the box open. Inside are five things. One, a note that tells him the cop opposite him is one of the dirtiest cops in the city. Two, a gun. Three, smoke bombs. Four, a DVD. And five, a note. A note that simply says: “She’s still alive.”

Have I got your attention yet? Welcome to Karma Coalition. I don’t know about you, but I’m hooked.

I’m not going to tell you how William gets out of the room because it’s pretty obvious. He’s got smoke bombs! After escaping, he takes his newfound possessions to a friends’ and pops the DVD in. The DVD is of the prognosticator, who informs him that in 2013, a huge catastrophic event takes place that wipes out 90% of the earth’s population. Because of this, a secret organization called the Karma Coalition is faking the deaths of very important people all over the world, in order to get them onto a secret island called “Parista,” where they will be safe and the human race will continue.

Guess whose wife is on that iiiiiiiii-sland?

Naturally, William will do anything to get to the island. And the good news is, he’s on the Parista list. But the cops chasing him have other plans. Will William make it to Parista? Will he be reunited with his wife? I’m sorry but you’ll have to read the script to find out. Or the rest of the review.

I loved the heart-pounding unpredictable nature of Karma Coalition but it did have its faults. (Major spoilers) When William finally gets to Parista, we have about 7 minutes to wrap up the storyline between him and his wife. He charges into a restaurant where his wife and her parents are having dinner and it just feels…wrong. Clunky. Weird. This is the love of his life and it’s not the way to reunite them. Part of the predicament of Karma Coalition is that you do have the main character getting to his destination late in the screenplay, forcing you to wrap up a lot of storylines in a very short amount of time. As a result, all of the storylines get short-shrift. None more than him and his wife, which should’ve been an incredibly emotional moment and wasn’t.

But the final sequence of Karma Coalition is ridiculously fun. The cops are tracking down the island of Parista, trying to find William. Yet they’re being led deep into the middle of Wyoming. How can there be an island in the middle of Wyoming? The answer leads us to “the big twist,” which I suspect put Karma Coalition over the hump and secured it that huge sale. Many people point out that the twist doesn’t hold water (ahem, island reference). And if you really think about it, there are definitely some inconsistencies. But I had so much fun getting there and the twist was so unexpected, I didn’t care. It’s one of those things you know they’re going to address in the rewrites anyway, so I just went with it.

Sure Karma Coaltion can be silly at times. And it’s not afraid to toss in a few cliches. But the script is so fast and its imagination so vibrant, I’m going to prematurely vanguish all you Negative Nancies out there and highly recommend it.

[ ] trash
[ ] barely kept my interest
[ ] worth the read
[x] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: Probably the best “ordinary man in an extraordinary circumstance” movie is either “North By Northwest” or “Close Encounters of the Third Kind.” The reason we’ve been so light on this genre lately is because Hollywood demands more realism these days. Your character has to behave in a realistic way. I don’t know about you but if a terrorist pointed a gun at my head, I wouldn’t go for a Bruce Lee sweep of the legs combined with a Trinity wall climb, simultaneously grabbing his gun and forcing him to shoot his own partner. I’d probably scream like a little girl. The problem in these movies is that sooner or later, your character will be forced into choices that require extraordinary actions. How he/she goes about them in a believable way is the key to making the genre work. I’m telling you this after highlighting a scene in KC where our “ordinary” hero escapes an interrogation room with smoke bombs. So obviously these rules are not hard and fast. But I guarantee you this issue will be brought up in any script you submit. So you might as well nip it in the bud now.

I don’t usually print this stuff but the Moneyball story fascinates me. In real life there are two sides to every story. But in Hollywood, there are a dozen. Here is an e-mail I received from someone very close to the project. It seems this thing is way more complicated than just “your draft/my draft”, and gives us some insight into just how difficult it is to get movies made. Here is the original Moneyball review if you’re not caught up.

Carson–

Genre: Drama-Thriller
Premise: A man wakes up in a coffin with no idea how he got there.
About: Ryan Reynolds just signed onto this last week. Spanish director Rodrigo Cortes will take the reigns for Chris Sparling’s script. Spain-based Versus Entertainment will finance the film.
Writer: Chris Sparling

This was the only picture I could find of Ryan Reynolds with his shirt on.

I loooooooooved this script. I loved it for so many reasons I can’t count them. First of all, I am always on the lookout for a smart cheap movie idea, something that can be shot with minimal hands, minimal equipment, and minimal funds. You know, a way for you to actually *make* a movie without having to go through that sludge-pit known as the Hollywood “system.” I tell anyone who will listen: If you can shoot the movie yourself, do it, because you’ll achieve what 98% of screenwriters never will – having a finished film. But don’t be fooled into thinking this is easy. I don’t care who says anybody can make a film with a camera and a Mac. If you want your movie to look professional, you’re going to need somebody who knows how to light, somebody who knows how to shoot, somebody who knows how to dress a set. You’re still going to need things that cost money. Therefore, you’re extremely limited in the scope of your film. It’s why a lot of low-budget films take place in one location. Keeps things cheap.

So when I heard of a script where the whole thing took place in a coffin?? I flipped. Like flipped out in anger. Why didn’t I think of that?? The cheapest movie set EV-ER. But wait. How do you write an entire story that takes place in a coffin? Let’s ask Chris Sparling.

Paul, an American truck driver in Iraq, has just woken up in a coffin. It’s burning up. Hot as balls. Lack of oxygen makes it hard to breathe. And let’s not forget the coffin, which only allows him a few inches of room in every direction. I will offer this warning right now: If you are claustrophobic, do not read this script.

At first Paul has no memory of how he got here. But things start slowly coming back to him. He was driving a truck, delivering food, when there was a loud explosion. Many of his co-workers were killed but somehow he wasn’t. He remembers Iraqis coming towards him. But after that? Nothing. Now he’s down here, in a grave, in Iraq. Yes, Sparling wrote an international thriller with a 75,000 dollar price tag. (well, maybe 2 million after Reynolds is paid). Can you say genius?

Paul feels a buzz. A buzz! It’s a phone! He has a phone! He checks it. It’s not his. It’s got 1 bar of flashing reception and 2 bars of battery left. This phone is his only chance at survival. When it runs out, so does he. He starts frantically calling people. First Emergency. He hurriedly explains his situation but the operator is suspicious. Why is a man buried in a coffin, supposedly in Iraq, calling an Ohio emergency line? The woman is worthless. He hangs up and calls home. But all he gets is the answering machine. He leaves a desperate message but who knows if his phone will even work by the time his wife gets home.

Then Paul receives a call. A man, Jabir, tells him that unless Paul can come up with 5 million dollars by 9:00pm (it’s 7:00), he will be left in his coffin to die. Paul, who already had anxiety issues *before* he ended up in a coffin, nearly shits his pants. He gets back on the phone, trying to get to the FBI, but in a well-disguised commentary on the state of our society, no one gives a shit. They forward him to other people, give him other numbers to call. If you’ve ever had to call Time Warner with an internet problem, Paul’s situation might be familiar to you. He finally contacts a man in Iraq, Dan, whose job it is to deal with these “situations”. Dan tells Paul that this is common practice for poor Iraqis. They kidnap and bury Americans, then ask for a ransom. If the money isn’t paid, they leave them to die. Since the U.S. doesn’t negotiate with terrorists, you can understand how precarious Paul’s situation is. But Dan says he’s going to find Paul. “How many of us have you found?” Paul asks. Dan doesn’t answer.

The signal keeps flashing in and out, cutting off his calls prematurely, making everything even more frustrating. The battery bar goes down to one. Every call wastes precious battery juice. And as he waits, there’s a nearby bombing, which shakes the ground, cracks the top of the coffin, and allows sand to start pouring in, slowly filling up the coffin. All the while, Paul begins to wonder if Dan is really trying to save him, or trying to keep him from turning this into an international incident, which could scar the U.S.’s already tainted reputation. Is Dan trying to keep Paul quiet until he dies?

This is top-notch storytelling here. Sparling really does a bang-up job creating tension. There are so many ticking time bombs: the battery, the signal, the air supply, the ransom, the sand, will Dan’s people find him in time? It’s all ticking down and you really feel this guy drowning – running out of options. My only fear film is whether an audience can handle being in a coffin for 80 minutes. I guess we’ll find out. But it won’t affect how solid this script is. A great read.

[ ] trash
[ ] barely kept my interest
[ ] worth the read
[x] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: One location movies should be kept SHORT. I would highly recommend they not be over 95 pages. “Buried” understood this rule and was only 80 pages long. Audiences get a little jumpy if they’re in one place for too long (blame Michael Bay). So keep the story slim.