Commenters unite! Because I’m not completely blogified (and partially retarded), the commenting feature was turned off for anonymous users. What the hell was up with that???! There were likely thousands upon thousands of potential comments that never saw the light of day. Or the…dark, of the blogosphere. That has all changed. Comment my friends. COMMMMMEEEEENNNNTTTT!

The next couple of days are going to be very exciting as I review the single hottest script in town, as well as a mystery script that…gasp…BREAKS INTO MY TOP TEN. That hasn’t happened since I started this thing. How far up the ladder will it climb? Tune in to find out!

Genre: Sci-fi
Synopsis: In a post World War 2 New York City, a troubled reporter learns he is meant for a higher purpose.
About: Not much is known about this one. I know Trevorrow has had four movies produced so he’s got a track record.
Writer: Colin Trevorrow

Colin Trevorrow is a good writer. But I think this story is bigger than him. In fact, I think it’s bigger than 99% of the writers out there. It’s Matrix meets Wanted meets Alice In Wonderland. It almost comes together. But World War X suffers from Feature Length-itus — a disease that gives your movie only 2 hours to live. And there simply isn’t enough time to deliver the depth that a premise like this promises.

Tom, a foster child, has spent his entire life feeling a rage inside him. Where it comes from, he doesn’t know. After this troubled childhood and a stint in the war, Tom finds himself barely clinging to a reporter job at the local newspaper. While inspecting a series of strange murders, he encounters a man who seems to have superhuman abilities. Leaping and jumping 10-20 feet in the air. Tom follows him the best he can, surprising himself with his aiblity to keep up. But in the end, the mystery man is too fast, and gets away.

Later he’s approached by a group of men who let him in on a secret. Tom is actually superhuman. A combination of both Wanted and Matrix, he posesses a hidden strength and speed that if he can learn to tap into, he’d be unstoppable. He joins this group, which calls itself “The Brotherhood”. Their first mission involves stopping a bank robbery. Curiously, The Brotherhood seems to know exactly when this robbery is going to happen. They succeed, but instead of returning the money, The Brotherhood keeps it for themselves.

Tom is then approached by ANOTHER group who claims that the group he’s been associating himself with is actually…now hang with me here…a group of “time terrorists”. Even worse, their leader – a guy who obviously dug his name out of the sci-fi handbook – “Zael”, has actually gone back thousands of years in time to impregnate his seed into hundreds of women – creating multiple generations of his bloodline. Tom is one of these children. He is one of “The Brotherhood.”

This new team is an anti-time terrorist organization, sent back in time specifically to try and stop Zael and his “brothers”. Or “sons” or whatever the hell they are. Tom then fnds himself stuck in the middle. Who does he believe? The Brotherhood? Or the TT Organization? Despite stumbling my way through that, Trevorrow actually sets all this up fairly well. We buy into the whole premise, even if it does border on the extreme.

I think Colin may have watched Star Wars a bit too many times though. There are so many echoes of it here it borders on plagirism. Tom and Zael have a sword fight at the end while a larger war rages on outside, all the while spouting out heated one-liners which mainly revolve around “evil” and “doing the right thing.” I kept waiting for Zael to finally scream “I am your fatherrrrrr.” But then I realized that would be redundant. He is his father. We already know that.

It’s only because of this action-suffocated derivitave ending that I can’t whole-heartedly recommend World War X. It has its moments, especially early on. But the last thing every audience member leaves a movie with is its ending, and World War X’s simply isn’t memorable enough.

[ ] trash
[ ] barely readable
[World War x] worth the read (barely)
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned from World War X: Within 10 pages, I know some distinct things about our main character. He’s extremely violent and has a bad heart. Already, he’s separated from most of the main characters I read. Even though neither of these things is wholly original, together, they paint a picture of a man that’s distinct and that I feel like I know. Make sure your main character stands out.

Genre: Sci-fi
Synopsis: A couple of UFO crashes cause a stir in a small town.
About: I picked this one out of the pile cause I was in the mood for some sci-fi. Christensen is repped over at ICM and apparently has produced credits, like the recent action flick “Passengers”. This is beyond shocking to me, as you’ll see from my reaction to the script.
Writer: Ronnie Christensen

One day I’d like to write an alien invasion film. I love the idea of aliens visiting us. What would they be like? What would they do? What would we do? How would we react? I don’t think any movie or TV show has captured the essence of these questions yet. You had “V” (which they’re doing an update of), but that invasion always felt hokey. You had the recent “War Of The Worlds”, but that was more B-Movie fun than the way things would really go down. The closest I’ve found to someone actually nailing the feel is a short film by Neil Bloomkamp, called Alive In Joburg. Lucky for me (and you), he’s adapted it into a full length feature that’s coming out this summer. But I digress.

The main problem that writers run into with this subject matter is, once the aliens arrive, what then? Your options are pretty limited because the big hook, the mystery of who the aliens are, is gone. They can wreak havoc, killing everyone in sight. Or they can integrate themselves into society. Invasion Of The Body Snatchers takes advantage of this premise and is one of the more inventive “invasion” films because of it. And Signs showed us an invasion from a very specific point of view with mixed results. There are a few others that have a fresh angle. Still, I feel like there’s the potential for so much more. Does Rift solve the riddle?

No. Not in the least. In fact, Rift is so amateur and juvenile, I’m actually angry I read it.

SETH is a 30 year old private on duty in Iraq (who the hell isn’t these days!!!??? – no more characters coming back from Iraq people!!). He can’t wait to get back to his wife and 4 year old son. When Seth almost dies in battle however, he’s diagnosed with PTSD and sent back to the states. We pick up on the story a year later when Seth inexplicably hasn’t spoken to his wife or child since his return.

The story begins when Seth decides to spend a weekend with his son. He picks him up, they head out to the forest, spot a crashing ship, inspect it, and some sort of alien creature snatches Seth’s son and runs off. I’ll be the first to admit that this probably isn’t exactly how it happened. I was so bored out of my mind while reading this that focusing became a chore. Let this be a lesson to writers. When you receive coverage (from agents/producers) that get all the details about your script wrong, it isn’t their fault, it’s yours. If you can’t keep their attention, they’re not going to care if they get the details right. They just want to get the read over with as soon as possible. Such was my experience with Rift.

Well the government moves in, quarantines the area, sends everyone from the nearby town away. But Seth grabs his wife and the two go on a hunt to find their child. This story element is flawed because we only met Noah, the son, for one scene. And to be frank, I barely remembered him. Just because he’s someone’s son doesn’t mean I have to like him. You have to distinguish him in some way so that I care whether they find him or not. But I didn’t care. Needless to say, this made the rest of the story pretty pointless.

Whoever these aliens are, their thing appears to be a particular kind of blood, that of which Noah (and Seth) have. As the “mystery” deepens, the final “big idea” is revealed (where these aliens are from – I’ll give you a hint: It’s not from another world. Think our world. Think not now. Think….way way far ahead), and well, it’s sorta interesting, but not really. Because again, you could care less whether Seth finds his kid.

Seth finally offers himself to the aliens to get his son back. He’s shipped to their “world” and proceeds to clumsily look for his son. Everything just kinda happens. Someone runs into him and says, “Oh, I know where your son is.” I can’t even handle discussing this anymore. I’m so disappointed. The ending is just…bad. Everything about this script is bad. This should give hope to any below average writer hoping to break in. This is proof that it can be done.

[x] trash
[ ] barely readable
[ ] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

link: Rift

What I learned from Rift: This was actually the first revelation I had while reading in awhile. There’s a point about midway through where Seth and his wife get into it. It’s a fight about responsibility, about family, about fear. It’s basically “the big argument” between the two main characters where their weaknesses are revealed. And I sat there wondering why this felt wrong. Why didn’t any of it ring true? And I realized it was because the argument was 30 pages too early. You have to wait until the end of the second act for that fight. Because after it’s over, most of the tension between the two characters disappears. They’ve already gotten it out. So what’s left?

Genre: Thriller
Synopsis: Two college acquaintances have a layover in a small city. When one is kidnapped, the other must find her.
About: A spec that sold a couple weeks back I think.
Writer: Jeremy Soule

After seeing a superior kidnapping film like Taken, I cannot recommend this script. If this really did sell…well, all I can say is it shouldn’t have. Our hero, the 21 year old ZANE, has found himself on a layover with WILLOW, the girl of his dreams. The airline gives them vouchers to some scumbag hotel, and Zane sees this as his one and only shot to make a move. He heads down to her room, knocks on the door, and some crazy tattooed guy answers claiming to be her boyfriend. Disappointed, Zane heads back upstairs but something doesn’t sit right about the guy. He jogs back only to find out that Willow’s gone.

He asks the hotel manager to call the police but the manager says that nobody named Willow ever checked in. He gets back to the room, finds a few clues, and starts his own investigation. Hellz yeah! During the course of Young Columbo’s quest, he discovers that the people who kidnapped Willow are part of a larger gang/organization, and that when the airport opens tomorrow, they’re shipping that bitch out to who knows where (my guess is that it has something to do with female slavery!) He’s got til morning to find her! Oh no!

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd that’s where the story falls apart. Willow is NOT Zane’s girlfriend. In fact, before today, he’s never even talked to Willow. He’s never even touched her! So the idea that this random college student is going to run around in an unfamiliar city dodging bullets and certain death to save this girl is…well it’s ridiculous.

Anyway, Zane eventually meets Lia, a hooker/dancer/prostitute who got her own problems n shit but she knows where Willow is. She leads him to the head honcho, Oswald, — struggle ensues. Blah blah blah. Left for dead. Oswald gets Willow to the airport. Once inside, as Oswald pulls Willow through security (she’s drugged so she can’t scream for help – Uhhh, wouldn’t you be just a littlebit curious as a TSA screener if a guy was lugging a half conscious college girl around? lol), Zane shows up just in time to stop him. This is when it gets really ridiculous. If you’re in a public airport and someone is trying to kidnap your girlfriend, all you have to do is yell “He’s kidnapping her!” and the chaos involved – particularly in this post 9/11 world – will at the very least temporarily hold everything up until the matter’s been investigated. I mean give me a break here. Even if he gets on the plane, you just warn the airport the plane’s flying to that a kidnapper will be landing there momentarily. Please apprehend him when he arrives.

Layover is riddled with problematic details like this that make it impossible to suspend your disbelief. I’m sorry but this script isn’t very good. That’s all there is to it.

[ ] trash
[x] barely readable
[ ] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned from Layover: Guys, your main character has to act like a rational human being. No 21 year old is going to take on an entire gang of killers. Give me a break.