Those paying attention will already know that my script of the month is Tenure. There isn’t much more I can say about it other than that I loved it from top to bottom. At its heart, it’s the most basic, most tried-and-true genre of them all: the underdog story. And who doesn’t like a good underdog story? But you’ve still gotta execute it. And Mike Million is a literary executioner. I was so excited when I heard not only that this was being made into a movie, but that Million was directing it, because it’s one those stories that will not work without the author’s interpretation. One of my most anticipated films of the year. The below link will take you to the original review.

Review: Tenure.

Okay, this probably went WAY over some of your heads. But “Inception”, the script review I posted yesterday, is currently the Holy Grail of scripts. It’s impossible to get. As of this moment, there’s only one copy, and it’s on Christopher Nolan’s computer. Or more likely printed out and kept in a safe. So the idea of me getting my hands on it is kinda ridiculous. But it was sure fun to come up with the story! Sorry for having to perpetuate the lie for so long. And I actually received a lot of nice e-mails telling me to keep my head up. Thank you! It made me feel terrible. So I’m finally coming clean. Inception was an April Fool’s Day joke. I’m not in any trouble. :)

Now if I may, let me indulge a little, and recall some of my favorite parts of the review.

-“The movie revolves around a man named JACOB HASTLEY, 34, a scientist and recent paraplegic who’s considering suicide.” — Hahaha! This actually sounds pretty good. When I read it back I thought, ‘That’s a role Leonardo Dicaprio would probably want to play.’ (DiCaprio is attached to play the lead in the film).

-“These first traveling scenes to other solar systems and galaxies are some of the highlights of the script. Nolan takes us to worlds that defy everything we know about physics and matter and space and time. It’s hard to describe it but he writes it as if we are inside of his mind, thinking it, just like he is. It is such a risky choice as a writer and like nothing I’ve ever seen on the page but it totally pays off.” — I think I laughed non-stop for fifteen minutes coming up with this.

But my all time favorites have to be these two:

-“KANSAS is a dog-whisperer who seems to have an otherworldly connection with the animals she teaches…And then there’s ISABELL, a blind woman who will stop at nothing to see again.” — Come on guys! lol. If that didn’t give it away.

To be honest, the concept sounds vaguely like it could work. I explored the mind-universe idea in one of my own scripts, so I know it has potential. I apologize to everyone for going that extra mile and e-mailing them that this was not an April Fool’s joke. But, you know, it’s April Fool’s! So you’re allowed to add lies on top of your lies. Think of it this way. An ex-girlfriend once played an April Fool’s “joke” on me where she told me she was pregnant. And didn’t back off until the end of the day! So you guys got off easy. Before I leave though, I’d like to leave you with one last favorite from the review…

-“Inception has a purpose. Jacob must find the truth behind the origin of the universe (its “inception”) before the other travelers catch up to him.” — hahahaha. I loved throwing the title in there, as if that gave it more credibility. lol

I’ve put the original review back up. It’s under the Breach and Clear review. Thanks again to everyone for the well wishes. I promise not to do this again until next year. :)

Genre: Action-Comedy
Synopsis: An Alias-like agent must fill her soon-to-be-fiance in on what she really does.
About: This script made the rounds recently and everyone and their mother seemed to love it.
Writer: Kyle Long

Either this is a clever mix of several popular TV shows/movies or a completely derivative ripoff of them. Breach and Clear is basically a mixing of Alias and Chuck, with a little True Lies sprinkled in for added flavor. A girl tries to balance her secret life as a Homeland Security agent with her desire to have a “normal” relationship with her soon-to-be fiance. Hmm, sound familiar?

Quite honestly, I don’t know what the big fuss is about. Seriously. Chuck is on Monday nights on NBC and is probably a lot funnier (I don’t know – I’ve only watched one episode). What struck me about Breach and Clear was just how average its choices were. I want you to imagine a secret agent girl who has to kill numerous baddies during her day job. Then I want you to imagine your average video-game playing one-day-at-a-time office worker. Now imagine those two worlds colliding…There you go. You’ve just imagined Breach and Clear. Absolutely nothing different or original ever happens in the script. It wasn’t “bad” by any stretch. It’s just that everything went exactly according to plan. And that was my big problem with the script. The whole thing felt like it was on cruise-control.

Rounding out the characters are a vengeful female villain who wants to exact revenge on the girl for killing one of her agents. And then of course you have the girl’s stud partner, who is an ultra suave cross between Enrique Iglacius and James Bond and who our boyfriend is completely threatened by (and apparently Adam Sandler did a rewrite on this because there are the requisite 2 dozen”he has a big penis” jokes that are the staple of every Sandler film). I guess I just wanted to turn the page and be surprised for once. But Breach and Clear never gave that to me. I suppose for huge fans of the genre, it delivers. But if you’re like me and looking for something new, you’re going to want to stay “clear” of this one. :)

I’m just one opinion folks. A lot of people loved this script. Check it out for yourselves…

script link: Breach and Clear

[ ] trash
[x] barely kept my interest
[ ] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned from Breach and Clear: You should always be challenging yourself. You should always ask yourself after every character you invent, scene you write, line you type…”Is this original???” “Is this something I’ve never seen before?” Of course nothing can be truly original. But there should always be enough originality in your script to distinguish it from everything else.

First of all, I would like to apologize to Warner Brothers. What I did by posting key plot points of their property, Inception, was stupid at best and financially crippling at worst. I apologize to Christopher Nolan, as well as Kevin J. Anderson, who is the owner of the unpublished source material. I promise, from now on, to be more careful and aware when reviewing material that is still in unfinished form. To anyone who was hurt by this act of selfishness, I apologize profusely.

For those requesting a copy of the material, I am no longer in possession of one. Thank you.

Genre: Sci-fi
Synopsis: A man finds a way into the inner-workings of the universe using his mind.
About: This is the hottest, most top-secret, most desired script in town. Christopher Nolan’s next film.
Writer: Christopher Nolan

You know when you go fishing and you’re hoping to catch something, anything, so that you don’t go home empty-handed? You start off looking for bass, without getting so much as a nibble. Then it gets a little later in the day and you downgrade to salmon. Then, as you see the sun setting on the horizon, you’re just hoping for something with gills on it. And just as you’re packing up and cursing the world, you feel a tug, and then another tug, and then you realize this is not just any fish. You just caught a goddamn whale. That’s how I feel today.

One of the great things about this website is meeting more and more people who are higher and higher up on the Hollywood food chain. The things I’ve been sent – some only hours after they hit the street – I’ve been astounded by. And I want you to know that I don’t take any of it for granted. I thank you guys every day! But I was not prepared for the call I received and for the script that I was sent at exactly 2:39pm on Tuesday afternoon. The most top-secret heavily guarded script in town. Christopher Nolan’s “Inception”. I know you guys are dying to get to it, so let’s not waste any more time.

When I first heard that Inception was a “sci-fi actioneer set within the confines of the mind” I got real nervous. There are many directions this idea can go and most of them suck. “The Cell” was the last movie to tackle this subject, and while it had some of the coolest looking set designs and costumes I’ve ever seen, it was a really stupid film. Inception, thankfully, is not The Cell. Despite its incredibly ambitious nature, it succeeds on nearly every level.

The movie revolves around a man named JACOB HASTLEY, 34, a scientist and recent paraplegic who’s considering suicide. But when he makes an unexpected breakthrough in his life’s work, he finds a potential connection between the mind and the universe that could change everything we know about ourselves. Upwards of five pages are dedicated to explaining Hastley’s work, but I’ll summarize it as best I can: Since the universe is infinite and the mind’s capacity to think is infinite, there must be a way to move between one and the other.

He continues this research and eventually finds a doorway between them. This doorway allows him to travel anywhere in the universe through a specifically designed thought algorithm. In essence, it’s a way to travel anywhere without actually traveling. These first traveling scenes to other solar systems and galaxies are some of the highlights of the script. Nolan takes us to worlds that defy everything we know about physics, matter, space and time. It’s hard to describe but he writes it as if we are inside of his mind, thinking it, just like he is. It’s a risky choice as a writer and like nothing I’ve ever seen on the page but it totally pays off.

Unfortunately it isn’t all cake and ice cream. Jacob learns quickly that he’s not the first one to have found this doorway, and that other “travelers” have been alerted to his entrance. This sounds a little bit like that awful movie “Jumper”, but these people aren’t Samuel Jackson in a silver wig. They’re people with an intellectual capacity “150 times larger than the average human”. Which is one of the cool things Nolan plays with. You know that old saying that we only use 5% of our brains, or whatever it is? The “inception” teaches us how to use the rest.

What I like about Inception is that there’s no bullshit copout Kubrick nonsense here. This isn’t 2001 where even though the movie makes no fucking sense everybody wants to say that they understand it. Inception has a purpose. Jacob must find the truth behind the origin of the universe (its “inception”) before the other travelers catch up to him.

The real power in Inception lies inside its mysterious and complicated cast of characters though. LISA, a certified genius, is Jacob’s estranged wife who left him after he was paralyzed. She coincidentally shows up the day after his first journey. KANSAS is a dog-whisperer who seems to have an otherworldly connection with the animals she teaches. TARK is only 37 years old yet wiser than any man you’ve ever met. How does he know so much? And then there’s ISABELL, a blind woman who will stop at nothing to see again.

I rarely find anything that lives up to the hype. Michael Jordan and maybe freshman year of college were it for me. But Inception defies everything I ever thought I knew about movies. It is a riveting journey both emotionally and viscerally. It is truly astonishing. I pray Nolan doesn’t deviate one iota from the script. I can’t wait.

script link: Inception (get it while you can cause it probably won’t last)
Edit: Sorry! Forced to take it down.

[ ] trash
[ ] barely kept my interest
[ ] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[x] genius

What I learned from Inception: How that in order to come up with true genius, you must sometimes ignore every single rule you know about screenwriting and just go with your heart. At its core, screenwriting is still an art. It is still the sum of your experiences expressed through your interpretation of the world. No equation or rule should impede upon that.

EDIT: Because the comments section was being inundated with requests for the script, I had to turn them off. People, I CANNOT give this script away! I’m sorry!