Genre: Dramedy
Synopsis: A professor at a small liberal arts college is up for tenure.
About: Tenure was on the 2005 Black List and will be hitting theaters this year.
Writer: Mike Million

What is the single most important tool you can use to connect with the reader? What is the one thing above all others that gives you the best chance of creating something they’ll be interested in? I’ll give you a moment. Give up? Okay, I’ll tell you. It’s subject matter. If you give the reader a subject matter they like, they’ll immediately be interested in your story. And there’s the catch. Different people like different things. So you can’t possibly find something to satisfy them all. Sure, you can pick some overarching widely known piece of pop culture (I’m sure the studios can give you a list). But no subject can satisfy everyone. Inevitably SOMEONE won’t like the story you’re telling because they just don’t care about the subject matter you’ve presented them with.

This is why when I read the first few pages of “Tenure”, I was instantly onboard. Likewise, I knew there were going to be a hell of a lot of people who would rather skin themselves alive than watch this movie. See Tenure is about a small liberal arts college. I attended a small liberal arts college. Believe it or not, our college is kind of famous. Sure, you’ve probably never heard of “Ripon College”, a small liberal arts school in the middle of the second fattest state in America (Wisconsin). But I bet you’ve heard of Harrison Ford. Yes, Harrison Ford went to Ripon College. And when I went, some of the older professors, who had just begun teaching back when Harrison started, loved to tell stories about him. Apparently, Ford was the laziest motherfucker on the face of the planet. He never went to class. Never participated in any social functions. He never did much of anything . The fact that he even made it to his senior year was a bit of a miracle. But I bet you didn’t know, Harrison finished one credit shy of graduating, and therefore never earned his degree. After his movies made billions at the box office, Ripon aggressively offered to forego that notorious missed credit and give Ford his degree. Harrison (or “Harry” as they called him) basically told them to fuck off. He never gave a single cent to Ripon. I hear the college is slightly more lenient nowadays when it comes to the whole “required credits” issue. It seems apt, really, that in a screenplay about college, I give you a history lesson. I hope you enjoyed it.

Tenure is awesome. I wish I could tell you all the ways in which it was awesome but that’s the problem with liking something. You don’t have time to pay attention to *why* you’re liking it. I’ll do my best though. I think the first thing Tenure does right that a lot of other “artsy” screenplays do wrong is it gives the main character a clearly defined goal. He wants – no he needs – to make tenure. If he doesn’t, he’s screwed. See a lesser writer who wanted to write a movie about a college professor might take us through his daily life, show us all his wild and wacky situations, but not give us any direction, any end goal. Million reminds us every step of the way how important it is that our protagonist makes tenure. This allows him to have fun with the story, but still keep us interested and focused. I wish I had learned this lesson a long time ago.

CHARLIE THURBER, an English professor, has an amazing connection with his students. Having been a teacher myself, I know how essential finding a connection with the people you teach is. The problem with Charlie though, is that he’s not very good at what he teaches. He can’t get published for shit. And since Gray College puts such a high premium on being published, Charlie’s dream, to get tenure, is in doubt.

Things only get worse when ELAINE, an attractive graduate of Princeton University of all places, joins the English Department, threatening to steal tenure away from Charlie. This prompts Charlie’s slacker best friend and fellow professor, STANLEY (whose life goal is to find Big Foot – I kid you not) to lead a sabotage effort to destroy Elaine so Charlie can land tenure. Stanley deserves his own movie. He’s fucking hilarious.

There are some sub-plots that all work well – like Charlie’s father’s stay in a local Assisted Living Home (he desperately wants out), the trials and tribulations of a few of Charlie’s students, and of course the sexual tension between Charlie and the very woman who might steal his tenure, Elaine.

All-in-all, Tenure is a master class in character development. Every character in this script is instantly memorable and all of their stories are compelling, like we could jump into their lives and be transported into their script without missing a beat. I don’t even know how he did it to be honest. How we jump from the very serious problems of Charlie, to Stanley’s ridiculous pursuit of Big Foot, never upsetting the tone of the movie, is something I’ll be studying for a long time . Contrary to popular belief, I don’t know everything. :)

Again, if you’ve never been to a small college, some of the details here might be lost on you. But I’d recommend Tenure for character study alone. Pay attention to how he introduces his characters, how he paints them, and how he resolves their conflicts. It’s really great stuff.

[ ] trash
[ ] barely readable
[ ] worth the read
[x] impressive (very close to genius though)
[ ] genius

What I learned from Tenure: I could point to 20 lessons in this script, but I’ll go with the age old adage. Any time you can raise the stakes, you’re improving your script. Near the midway point, Charlie’s sister informs him that she’s paying 3 grand a month to keep their father in a home. She needs help. “You can spare $1000 dollars a month.” “I make 36,000 a year.” “You get a raise when you reach tenure right?” The way I present it here is a little clunky and simplistic. In the script it’s given more weight. The point is, it’s just one more reason in the back of our minds we know Charlie has to achieve tenure.

Commenters unite! Because I’m not completely blogified (and partially retarded), the commenting feature was turned off for anonymous users. What the hell was up with that???! There were likely thousands upon thousands of potential comments that never saw the light of day. Or the…dark, of the blogosphere. That has all changed. Comment my friends. COMMMMMEEEEENNNNTTTT!

The next couple of days are going to be very exciting as I review the single hottest script in town, as well as a mystery script that…gasp…BREAKS INTO MY TOP TEN. That hasn’t happened since I started this thing. How far up the ladder will it climb? Tune in to find out!

Genre: Sci-fi
Synopsis: In a post World War 2 New York City, a troubled reporter learns he is meant for a higher purpose.
About: Not much is known about this one. I know Trevorrow has had four movies produced so he’s got a track record.
Writer: Colin Trevorrow

Colin Trevorrow is a good writer. But I think this story is bigger than him. In fact, I think it’s bigger than 99% of the writers out there. It’s Matrix meets Wanted meets Alice In Wonderland. It almost comes together. But World War X suffers from Feature Length-itus — a disease that gives your movie only 2 hours to live. And there simply isn’t enough time to deliver the depth that a premise like this promises.

Tom, a foster child, has spent his entire life feeling a rage inside him. Where it comes from, he doesn’t know. After this troubled childhood and a stint in the war, Tom finds himself barely clinging to a reporter job at the local newspaper. While inspecting a series of strange murders, he encounters a man who seems to have superhuman abilities. Leaping and jumping 10-20 feet in the air. Tom follows him the best he can, surprising himself with his aiblity to keep up. But in the end, the mystery man is too fast, and gets away.

Later he’s approached by a group of men who let him in on a secret. Tom is actually superhuman. A combination of both Wanted and Matrix, he posesses a hidden strength and speed that if he can learn to tap into, he’d be unstoppable. He joins this group, which calls itself “The Brotherhood”. Their first mission involves stopping a bank robbery. Curiously, The Brotherhood seems to know exactly when this robbery is going to happen. They succeed, but instead of returning the money, The Brotherhood keeps it for themselves.

Tom is then approached by ANOTHER group who claims that the group he’s been associating himself with is actually…now hang with me here…a group of “time terrorists”. Even worse, their leader – a guy who obviously dug his name out of the sci-fi handbook – “Zael”, has actually gone back thousands of years in time to impregnate his seed into hundreds of women – creating multiple generations of his bloodline. Tom is one of these children. He is one of “The Brotherhood.”

This new team is an anti-time terrorist organization, sent back in time specifically to try and stop Zael and his “brothers”. Or “sons” or whatever the hell they are. Tom then fnds himself stuck in the middle. Who does he believe? The Brotherhood? Or the TT Organization? Despite stumbling my way through that, Trevorrow actually sets all this up fairly well. We buy into the whole premise, even if it does border on the extreme.

I think Colin may have watched Star Wars a bit too many times though. There are so many echoes of it here it borders on plagirism. Tom and Zael have a sword fight at the end while a larger war rages on outside, all the while spouting out heated one-liners which mainly revolve around “evil” and “doing the right thing.” I kept waiting for Zael to finally scream “I am your fatherrrrrr.” But then I realized that would be redundant. He is his father. We already know that.

It’s only because of this action-suffocated derivitave ending that I can’t whole-heartedly recommend World War X. It has its moments, especially early on. But the last thing every audience member leaves a movie with is its ending, and World War X’s simply isn’t memorable enough.

[ ] trash
[ ] barely readable
[World War x] worth the read (barely)
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned from World War X: Within 10 pages, I know some distinct things about our main character. He’s extremely violent and has a bad heart. Already, he’s separated from most of the main characters I read. Even though neither of these things is wholly original, together, they paint a picture of a man that’s distinct and that I feel like I know. Make sure your main character stands out.

Genre: Sci-fi
Synopsis: A couple of UFO crashes cause a stir in a small town.
About: I picked this one out of the pile cause I was in the mood for some sci-fi. Christensen is repped over at ICM and apparently has produced credits, like the recent action flick “Passengers”. This is beyond shocking to me, as you’ll see from my reaction to the script.
Writer: Ronnie Christensen

One day I’d like to write an alien invasion film. I love the idea of aliens visiting us. What would they be like? What would they do? What would we do? How would we react? I don’t think any movie or TV show has captured the essence of these questions yet. You had “V” (which they’re doing an update of), but that invasion always felt hokey. You had the recent “War Of The Worlds”, but that was more B-Movie fun than the way things would really go down. The closest I’ve found to someone actually nailing the feel is a short film by Neil Bloomkamp, called Alive In Joburg. Lucky for me (and you), he’s adapted it into a full length feature that’s coming out this summer. But I digress.

The main problem that writers run into with this subject matter is, once the aliens arrive, what then? Your options are pretty limited because the big hook, the mystery of who the aliens are, is gone. They can wreak havoc, killing everyone in sight. Or they can integrate themselves into society. Invasion Of The Body Snatchers takes advantage of this premise and is one of the more inventive “invasion” films because of it. And Signs showed us an invasion from a very specific point of view with mixed results. There are a few others that have a fresh angle. Still, I feel like there’s the potential for so much more. Does Rift solve the riddle?

No. Not in the least. In fact, Rift is so amateur and juvenile, I’m actually angry I read it.

SETH is a 30 year old private on duty in Iraq (who the hell isn’t these days!!!??? – no more characters coming back from Iraq people!!). He can’t wait to get back to his wife and 4 year old son. When Seth almost dies in battle however, he’s diagnosed with PTSD and sent back to the states. We pick up on the story a year later when Seth inexplicably hasn’t spoken to his wife or child since his return.

The story begins when Seth decides to spend a weekend with his son. He picks him up, they head out to the forest, spot a crashing ship, inspect it, and some sort of alien creature snatches Seth’s son and runs off. I’ll be the first to admit that this probably isn’t exactly how it happened. I was so bored out of my mind while reading this that focusing became a chore. Let this be a lesson to writers. When you receive coverage (from agents/producers) that get all the details about your script wrong, it isn’t their fault, it’s yours. If you can’t keep their attention, they’re not going to care if they get the details right. They just want to get the read over with as soon as possible. Such was my experience with Rift.

Well the government moves in, quarantines the area, sends everyone from the nearby town away. But Seth grabs his wife and the two go on a hunt to find their child. This story element is flawed because we only met Noah, the son, for one scene. And to be frank, I barely remembered him. Just because he’s someone’s son doesn’t mean I have to like him. You have to distinguish him in some way so that I care whether they find him or not. But I didn’t care. Needless to say, this made the rest of the story pretty pointless.

Whoever these aliens are, their thing appears to be a particular kind of blood, that of which Noah (and Seth) have. As the “mystery” deepens, the final “big idea” is revealed (where these aliens are from – I’ll give you a hint: It’s not from another world. Think our world. Think not now. Think….way way far ahead), and well, it’s sorta interesting, but not really. Because again, you could care less whether Seth finds his kid.

Seth finally offers himself to the aliens to get his son back. He’s shipped to their “world” and proceeds to clumsily look for his son. Everything just kinda happens. Someone runs into him and says, “Oh, I know where your son is.” I can’t even handle discussing this anymore. I’m so disappointed. The ending is just…bad. Everything about this script is bad. This should give hope to any below average writer hoping to break in. This is proof that it can be done.

[x] trash
[ ] barely readable
[ ] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

link: Rift

What I learned from Rift: This was actually the first revelation I had while reading in awhile. There’s a point about midway through where Seth and his wife get into it. It’s a fight about responsibility, about family, about fear. It’s basically “the big argument” between the two main characters where their weaknesses are revealed. And I sat there wondering why this felt wrong. Why didn’t any of it ring true? And I realized it was because the argument was 30 pages too early. You have to wait until the end of the second act for that fight. Because after it’s over, most of the tension between the two characters disappears. They’ve already gotten it out. So what’s left?