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Genre: Horror/Fantasy
Premise: A 14th century Crusader must transport a witch through plague-filled France, the very witch it is believed, who cursed the country with the disease.
About: Bragi Schut, the writer, was one of the five contestants to win the Nicholl Fellowship back in 2003. He did so with this script, becoming one of the rare exceptions from the prestigious competition to get his winning script into production. The film is already in the can and will be released sometime this year. Schut, while not having a lot of produced success since 2003, recently made a big splash with his sale of “The Last Voyage of Demeter,” which follows the ill-fated crew aboard the ship Demeter, which carried Dracula’s coffin from Transylvania to England. Obviously, we can see why he was attracted to the material, as the storylines are almost identical.
Writer: Bragi Schut
Details: 2004 (2nd draft) – This is not meant to be a review of a movie, but rather a look at an early draft of the script. I wanted to get as close as possible to the Nicholl winning draft, so you guys could see what won the contest. The final film is likely to be very different.


Okay, the second you say to me, “Carson, I have a script about witches! Will you read it??” I will say, “No,” and then probably run screaming in the opposite direction. And I hope you take no offense to this. Believe me when I say I’m saving both of us a lot of disappointment. I just don’t care about witches. Or wizards. Or vampires or werewolves. My idea of hell is a Twilight/Harry Potter double feature. But you can only ignore people telling you a script is awesome for so long. And I’ve received so many endorsements of “Season Of The Witch,” that I could probably fill up an entire new Harry Potter sequel with the e-mails. But it was when I updated the Reader Top 25 list that I could continue my denial no longer. The script received over 40 votes, unusual for a script that hasn’t been featured on the site. So I did something I almost never do. I read a script I knew I was going to hate.

And then…

The magical wand of screenwriting came down out of the sky and proved, once again, that it doesn’t matter what the subject matter is. If you write a good story with good characters, people will come Ray. People will come. And I found myself smack dab center inside that cornfield: a believer. In fact, between this and “Oh Never, Spectre Leaf,” I may become an official card-carrying fantasy club member by next week.


Season Of The Witch is about a great knight who has lost faith in God. He and his loyal companion have just come back from the Crusades, where they witnessed unimaginable horrors, women and children slaughtered as ruthlessly as soldiers. It was enough to make a man lose faith in humanity, to make a man lose faith in God. And that is where LaVey finds himself, a lost soul whose faith has been broken. He can barely muster the motivation to journey back to his hometown, Marseilles.

But for better or worse, LaVey won’t have to worry about that. That’s because the French countryside is eerily empty. There isn’t a farmer or a traveler in site, and the two blindly trudge forward, becoming more confused with each step. What the hell’s going on here?? Alas, a stop at a local farmhouse explains it all. A couple, in their bed, dead, covered with boils and puss. LaVey and his fellow soldier have had the unfortunate luck of coming back to France during……..THE BLACK PLAGUE!!! – a pandemic that killed 3 out of every 4 people ON EARTH.

No sooner have they run from the house than they are approached by a bishop. The bishop surprisingly calls LaVey by name – tells him the Cardinal needs to speak with him at once. To the church they go, where an ailing Cardinal fills in the blanks. Everybody’s dead or dying, including him. The only good news is they have who did it, the one responsible for the plague. It is a witch, and she is chained up in the dungeon below. The Cardinal needs LaVey to escort her to a town in the mountains where monks are waiting and will sacrifice her – thereby ending the curse of the Black Plauge.


The thing is, LaVey doesn’t believe in hocus-pocus anymore. There is no Heaven. There is no Hell. Therefore this woman cannot be a witch. Tis impossible. So he agrees to take her on one condition. Once they get there, she is tried as a human. If she is considered to be guilty, then fine, they can fry her. Or, you know, shoot arrows at her head. If not, she must be let go. The Cardinal is incredulous, but what choice does he have? LaVey is his last hope. He agrees. Accompanying LaVey will be his comrade Felson, Sancierre (the knight) Debelzaq (the priest), Hagaman (the swindler), and Kaylan (the eager 17 year old dreamer, who hopes to one day be a knight himself).

The faux-fellowship finds themselves travelling through the eerie lifeless roads of France, occasionally steering through towns where the dead are piled up like old garbage, rotting against the sides of buildings. Disease is everywhere, and could strike at any moment. But the real danger is from within. The witch, who can be equal parts charming, innocent, evil, sly, and vindictive, is constantly testing the members of the caravan, especially LaVey, who she confesses to that she is the devil. But he dismisses it as the ramblings of a sick woman. There is no Devil. There is no God. And thus, he focuses only on his job. Get the woman to the town. Try her. And be done with it.

What I loved so much about this script was that it’s basically an anti-contained thriller. So many people are trying to write these contained thrillers lately, not understanding that there are other ways to keep a group together and retain the same type of tension. These six may not be contained by walls, but they all must stay together because of the situation. If this witch were to escape somehow, she would complete her curse, damning the last ¼ of the population. They, and every remaining man and woman, would die. It’s the same life or death stakes…from a completely different angle.


I also enjoyed watching the witch play with LaVey. She’ll trick one of the weaker members and slip out of her cage, have everyone chase her, get caught again, slammed back into her cage, and LaVey will ask, “If you’re a witch, why not strike us down right now? Why not conjure a lightning bolt to destroy your cage so you’ll be free? If you were so powerful, you could leave whenever you wanted.” And she basically says, “Cause it’s so much more fun fucking with you.” It’s that combination of threats from inside, a haunting countryside, the likelihood of disease, and each character’s, especially LaVey’s, own inner demons, wrapped inside a ticking time bomb, that give this script such a unique quality. When you add the perfectly baked macabre tone, you can practically hear the echoing clops their footsteps make as they trudge through these empty fog-filled towns. You can smell the dead. You can sense the despair. It’s really good stuff.

My only real problem with the script is LaVey’s belief system. He’s convinced this woman is not a real witch, because that would mean there was a God, and he doesn’t believe in God. But when someone’s able to summon wolves out of the forest to attack you, and then after defeating those wolves, she reanimates them to fight you again…I mean, I think at that point you have to admit that the woman in the cage is probably a witch.

Anyway, this was a very surprising read. Thought I would hate it. Ended up liking it a lot. Check it out!

[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[xx] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: One of my issues with the Clash Of The Titans script was that Perseus sort of hangs back the whole time and lets everybody else do the doing. This is neither a good or a bad thing. It’s a choice, and one many screenwriters make. Neo’s character does it. Luke Skywalker’s character does it. And it works because we like the underdog. But your character definitely possesses a more “weighty” quality to him when he’s the one leading the charge from the get-go, which is how LaVey is drawn here. He’s the Crusader, the hardened knight, the alpha male. There’s something comforting about having a hero take charge, proactively dictating the story from page 1, and it was a good reminder that you don’t always have to transform the wimpy schlep into the surprise hero to craft a good screenplay. What’s wrong with making your hero the badass from the start?

It’s Day 3 of Alternative Draft Week, where we look at alternative drafts from the movies you loved (or hated). In some cases, these drafts are said to be better, in others, worse, or in others still, just plain different. Either way, it’s interesting to see what could’ve been. We started out with Roger’s review of James Cameron’s draft of “First Blood 2“. We followed that with my review of “The Last Action Hero.” And today we’re taking on Ron Bass’ draft of “Entrapment.” So enjoy.

Genre: Action/Espionage/Heist/Romance
Premise: An undercover insurance agent is sent by her employer to track down and help capture an art thief. But to do so, she must befriend him, gain his trust, and help him with his next heist.
About: Ron Bass wrote the original draft for this 1999 caper, which was widely praised. But over the course of a dozen drafts, Don Macpherson & William Broyles Jr. took it in another direction, creating what some believe was a lame excuse to pair together two hot actors at the time, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Sean Connery. Ron Bass, who we’ve reviewed before, began writing at the age of six while bedridden with a childhood illness. Although he loved it, he decided on a more practical career after his college professor told him he’d never be published. He graduated from Harvard Law and began a successful career in entertainment law, eventually rising to the level of partner, but the writing bug never left. So he returned to it and had his first novel published in 1978 (“The Perfect Thief”). Producer Jonathan Sanger optioned his third novel “The Emerald Illusion”, opening the door for Bass to become a screenwriter.
Writer: Ron Bass
Details: 118 pages (1st Draft, December 2, 1996)


It would be nice if I could lay out all these stories with the same kind of detail I did “The Last Action Hero,” but, contrary to popular belief, I don’t have access to the Hollywood Development Archives. Much of what I have here is cobbled together from lore and heresay. What I can tell you about Entrapment though is this: Ron Bass’ first draft is something I’ve been hearing about forever. Supposedly, he’d whipped together a wickedly sharp romance-caper that had everyone in Hollywood talking. Unfortunately, over the course of 12 drafts, much of the greatness that was in that early draft was left on the typing room floor – or so it is said. The big complaint was that the producers had taken a cool edgy flick and turned it into a mountain of cotton candy, a lame piece of Hollywood fluff. But fluff turned out to be exactly what the masses wanted (doesn’t it always?) The movie opened on May 7th of 1999 to a surprising 20.1 million, dethroning a little film called “The Matrix” from the top spot. It ended up making 220 million dollars worldwide, but was quickly forgotten three weeks later, like a lot of movies at that time, its memory swallowed up by the behemoth of George Lucas’ long-awaited return to Star Wars, “The Phantom Menace.” Either way, no one can argue that the movie didn’t do well. The question is, could it have done more? Would this draft have made Entrapment the kind of film we still talk about today? My memory of the flick is that of a geriatric old warbler and a woman young enough to be his granddaughter, running around and flirting a lot, which, to be honest, made me very uncomfortable. I also remember tons and tons of really cheesy dialogue. So I was interested to see if this initial draft was free of all that.

Gin Baker is a young sexy insurance agent whose job it is to recover stolen paintings for high-class clients. When an expensive painting is stolen out of a 70th floor John Hancock Building condo, the crime scene’s handiwork points to one person, Andrew McDougal, an internationally known super-thief. There’s only one problem. Andrew is 60 years old and has been off the thief-circuit for over a decade. Why would he come out of retirement to steal a relatively unknown painting?

Well that’s what Gin is going to find out. She travels halfway across the world and finds McDougal (or “Mac”) at a major art auction. She uses plenty of skin and her big smile to lure Mac in, but he’s immediately wary of her, knowing this game is full of people pretending to be someone they’re not. But Mac’s not immune to the temptation of flesh either, and allows Gin into his circle, at least for the time being. After an impromptu theft, the two head back to his suite for some seriously age-inappropriate sex.

Creeeeeeee-py

I’m not going to mince words. This portion of the script is awful. It amounts to two people trading cheesy supposedly sexually-charged barbs in the same 1-2 “setup and payoff” rhythm you’d get from a Sesame Street skit. There’s no spontaneity, no originality to the dialogue. It’s just “setup” “payoff” “setup” “payoff” over and over again. For example, Mac would say to Gin something like “Better get an umbrella. I hear it’s going to rain.” Her reply: “That’s okay. I like being wet.” Or Gin would say, “Escaping those guards will be hard.” Mac’s reply: “I’d rather be hard than soft.” That’s not real dialogue from the script. But it might as well be. This is what you have to trudge through in these first 50 pages.

This is exacerbated by the overuse of commentary in the action, where every single nuance, every single eye flicker, every inner thought is supplied in detail in between the dialogue. Here’s what I mean:

MAC
I stole your suitcase when I left you at the bar. I have since sent it on to the States, with three chips, well hidden.

Are you following.

MAC
Since you aren’t there to claim it, the bag will sit at Customs. Safe. Unless…

No smile. No smile at all.

MAC
They receive. An anonymous. Tip.

Jesus Fucking Christ.

GIN
That’s entrapment.

MAC
No. Entrapment’s what cops do to robbers.

We can feel her heart pounding from here.

That’s what it’s like for the entire script, or at least the first half. The biggest problem with this, especially when combined with the endless flirty dialogue, is that it makes the entire romance come over as if it’s trying too hard. We feel like it’s being forced down our throats: These two like each other! They really fucking like each other!!! And I understand that this is a first draft and that the tone and originality of the dialogue will be worked out over time, but it’s just I heard such good things about this script and I’d assumed that meant addressing my main problem of over-the-top cheesiness.

The real reason Entrapment made all that money?

The structure during this portion of the screenplay is a mess as well. Although we know that Gin is trying to retrieve the original stolen painting, we never met the person who had the painting stolen, and therefore don’t really care whether they get it back or not. Nor is there any specific urgency in obtaining the painting, no timeframe or time limit. For that reason, the only reason for the story to exist is to listen to an over-sexed Nursing Home patient and a playmate with grandfather issues to banter mindlessly amidst an occasional fuck.

It isn’t until Mac (spoilers here) “reveals” to Gin that he’s an art thief and wants to include her on his next job that the story picks up. But even here, as he trains her for the job, the plot device feels like an excuse to give these two more time to exchange sexual innuendos and flirtatious quips. The training sequences, which involve stuff like jumping out of planes, are devoid of any tension, because there are no stakes at all. We aren’t told what Mac’s after and therefore don’t care if he succeeds. It’s all really boring.

But then…

It’s as if Bass all of a sudden realized what his story was about (more spoilers) and the script does a complete 180. There’s a couple of well-executed twists, the primary of which is Gin revealing that she’s not really an insurance agent, but a thief. Her job is cover, as well as a sly way to figure out where and how to get the very paintings she’s supposed to be protecting. And that while Mac thought he’d been testing her to see if she was capable of pulling off his job, all this time she’d actually been testing *him* to see if *he* was capable of pulling off *her* job. And that job is what brought me back on board – the plan to steal 8 billion dollars.


And this is where the draft and the film differ. Whereas the film places the climactic heist in the Petronas Towers of Kuala Lumpur, Bass’ draft focuses on the 1997 Hong Kong change-over back to China. While the execution of this storyline is superior to the film version, I can’t help but notice that it’s a change that needed to happen. You can’t release a technology-heavy movie in 1999 about 1997. It would be like making 2012 in 2013.

Whatever the case, the last 50 pages of this script are really well-constructed. The twists are executed to perfection. The multi-stage heist (which includes invading a mountain guarded by an army) is both inventive and exciting. We see things we’ve never seen before in this type of movie. And whereas the first half of the script has zero tension, the pursuit of 8 billion dollars really gives the second half the kick in the ass it needs, since the stakes for pulling off the biggest heist in the history of the planet are naturally pretty high.

So to me, Bass’ draft is two separate screenplays, the lame first half and the sizzling second half, which I’m sure can be attributed to this being his first crack at the story. What isn’t solved, unfortunately, is the lame back and forth cheesy dialogue between the two main characters. That was always the big issue for me. And my impression was that this draft would come off as a smarter edgier version of what we saw in theaters. That wasn’t the case.

But you can’t deny the fact that this ending rocks, and if I were 20th Century Fox, I’d extract the big Tapei Mountain Sequence and put it into one of their other big franchises, cause it really is well done. The 8 billion dollar heist is also nicely executed. My experience tells me it should be impossible in real life, but Bass sold it well and I bought it.

Anyway, another interesting peek into development, and an excuse to run to the video store, grab Entrapment, and do some serious procrastination on whatever script you’re working on. But you’ll have to beat me there, cause I’m going right now. :)

P.S. If you’re a fan of these kinds of films, don’t forget to check out my old review of Lovers, Liars, and Thieves.

[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[x] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: Chemistry between your romantic leads is essential, but chemistry isn’t as simple as nailing the casting. It needs to start on the page. Now there are exceptions to every rule, but one that’s fairly consistent is: keep your leads from kissing and/or having sex until the third act. Why? Because chemistry is built on the unknown, on our curiosity of if they’re going to consummate the relationship. Think about how sexually charged your relationship is with that certain guy or girl. Why is it that way? Cause you haven’t done anything about it yet! Once you “do it,” the unknown disappears. That sexy spark which permeates through every sentence goes bye-bye. Characters in screenplays are no different. Making them sleep together = losing the fun. Gin and Mac sleep together within the first 40 pages here (I don’t remember if they did this in the film or not) and there’s no doubt that something is lost in the process. Now I’m not saying this is a blanket rule. In a movie like “The Notebook,” for example, which is a memoir that takes place over an extended period of time, the plot dictates that we experience that first kiss and that first sexual experience fairly early. But here, in a movie like Entrapment, which is basically built on the chemistry of the leads, that choice is disastrous, cause you eliminate the big thing we’re all wondering if they’re going to do or not. Interest over.

Welcome to Alternative Draft Week. Wahhhoooo! This week, we’re going to be tackling different drafts of movies you know that, for one reason or another, weren’t chosen as the coveted “Shooting Draft.” Some might shock you. Some have great stories behind them. And there might be a surprise or two. Roger’s going to get us started with a draft of First Blood 2 by…James Cameron??? Hell yes he is. In the meantime, if you haven’t already, get your votes in for your Top Ten Favorite Scripts.

Genre: Action
Premise: Released from prison by Federal Order, John Rambo returns to Vietnam so he can document the possible existence of POWs for the CIA. Refusing to merely photograph the evidence and let the US Government sweep the issue under the rug, Rambo makes it his personal mission to free the POWs. By any means necessary.

About: One of James Cameron’s first professional screenwriting jobs. The story goes is that Cameron had three desks set up in his house, where he was working on three different screenplays at once. At one desk, he was writing
The Terminator. On another, he was writing Aliens. And at the third desk, he was writing this, First Blood 2: The Mission.
Writer: James Cameron


“Rambo: First Blood Part 2” is the bloodstained crown jewel of my 80s Action DVD collection. The finale is like the third act of
Avatar in the Vietnamese jungle, but instead of Jake Sully and the thousands of Na’vi it’s just the one man army himself, John Rambo, mass-murdering the VC and Soviets in increasingly entertaining ways. It’s such a chaotic crescendo of violence it’s hard to pull your eyes away the first time you’re watching it (but why would you want to?).

But first, it’s only appropriate we all thank a friend of the blog, a fellow screenwriter (who ain’t too shabby himself) and cinephile so well-versed I’m convinced he’s a film historian, a guy we all know from the comments section as JJ.1. He spent a considerable amount of time retyping the entirety of this script into his computer so he could create a PDF file for everyone to read and enjoy. Without his efforts we wouldn’t have this James-Cameron-80s-Action-Script artifact to study and include in our collections.
Interesting side note: Gonzo Journalism figurehead Hunter S. Thompson retyped F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby and Hemingway’s A Farewell To Arms in their entirety to get a worm’s eye view of the style and the storytelling.
Which makes me think that picking a favorite script to retype is probably not a bad project to undertake if you’re serious about learning your craft.
One thing I wish every novice screenwriter had was a mentor/veteran they could apprentice themselves to. If the master and apprentice relationship worked for Renaissance painters, why couldn’t it work for modern day screenwriters? Perhaps the closest model we have is the showrunner-staff writer relationship for television shows.
Is Cameron’s draft much different from Sly Stallone’s draft?
It’s the same dance, but the steps are a little different.
Cameron’s draft has some extra characters we focus on: The pilot’s crew, a POW named De Fravio, and most notably a sidekick named Brewer. The plot has some meatier details, bloodier action and more bombastic moments. Overall, Cameron is willing to let Rambo share the spotlight with Brewer and De Fravio, and I daresay the story is richer for it. The willingness to focus on De Fravio makes the theme shine.
Stallone took Cameron’s detailed script and streamlined it. Vetoed the Brewer character (which was to be played by Travolta), made De Fravio nameless (taking away his lines of dialogue) and he also tweaked the kills so they were less complicated to film. He also gave Rambo his signature weapon, a bow, which made many of the kills more intimate, more personal (so we as an audience could connect with the war he was personally fighting inside himself).
Stallone boiled the elements down to make a simple concept, well, simpler. It’s not a bad trade-off, persay. Just different.
I don’t know anything about Rambo, Rog. Can you fill me in?
The original “First Blood” is more of a psychological thriller where a Vietnam vet is targeted by a paranoid sheriff in the town of Hope, Washington. He’s arrested and mistreated, triggering some nasty flashbacks that culminates with Rambo escaping out of the jail. He wounds the deputies in the woods nearby, plots revenge against the cruel sheriff, but ultimately turns himself in to his former commander, Colonel Trautman.
It’s kind of a sad tale, and makes you think twice about war veterans.
But no matter, “First Blood 2: The Mission” is a satisfying continuation of this vet’s story. If the first film was about creating a tortured figure we can sympathize with, the second flick is all about letting this guy out of his cage so we can watch him kill shit. He’s set loose in the same jungle where all his inner conflict was born, and he finally gets to exorcise some of these inner demons.
Through violence, of course.
What’s the mission?
Colonel Trautman arrives at the Veterans Administration Hospital to discover that Rambo is being held in an isolation cell that hasn’t been used since the Spanish Inquisition.
Rambo laments that back in ‘Nam, he flew million dollar gunships but now no one trusts him to park cars. He’s the last survivor of his Special Forces unit and he feels like he’s coming out of his skin. Even though he’s won a handful of medals, including five Purple Hearts, we learn that all he really wanted was one person to come up to him and say, “You did good, John.”
And mean it.
To which Trautman says, “You just picked the wrong war to be a hero in.”
It’s tragic, but before we can dwell on that, Rambo is taken outside and introduced to Kirkhill (Murdoch in Stallone’s draft), a CIA spook. He’s part of the Special Operations Unit and he’s authorized to free Rambo.
But only if Rambo is willing to take a job in the Democratic Republic of Vietnam and find some POWs. Rambo’s only scruple is that he doesn’t like to work with spooks (not since Cambodia), but he can’t resist rescuing fellow soldiers. He’s in.
Where are the POWs?
An abandoned Vietnam army base in the highlands may have a compound that’s being used as an internment camp.
It’s a two phase operation: Recon and rescue.
But Rambo is part of the recon phase, not part of the assault team. He’s only supposed to take photos to confirm the presence of POWs.
At this point, Rambo senses there’s something fishy in Denmark.
And he’s right.
There’s a subcommittee leaning on Kirkhill’s back. The League of Families is pressuring Congress so Congress is pressuring the CIA. The US government really doesn’t want to find any POWs (who wants to spend billions of dollars in war reparations to get a few guys back whose brains are in a blender?), they just want the League off their backs.
But they have to make a good show of it. Uncle Sam’s orders.
So Rambo has a sidekick in Cameron’s draft, right?
Yeah, whom he meets in Bangkok when he cuts in front of Rambo whilst waiting in line for a taxi. Rambo overhears the guy giving his cover away to a prostitute, and he quickly yanks the guy out of the taxi and threatens to kill him.
This is Brewer.
A young buck Rambo is shackled to who blew up a Colonel’s golf cart with his M-19. “He wasn’t in it or anything…it was the symbolic value.” He took the job to get out of the brig and sees the outing as a chance to “have a Jacuzzi and get laid in Bangkok”.
At the operations base we meet the flight crew who are going to drop Rambo and Brewer into the jungle. They’re ex-Marines now working as private contractors.
A Cameron backstabber is always going to be a company man or merc who is always more loyal to money than personal responsibility, morals and honor (well, except for Colonel Quaritch from Avatar, who is more of a direct antagonist).
So what happens in the jungle?
Sans the moment where Rambo has to cut himself loose from the copter, the structure used in the movie is the same.
Our guys land in the jungle, where they quickly meet Night Orchid at the ruins of a fifteenth century Buddhist temple. Co Phuong Bo is their contact on this side of the terrain.
Co earned a Masters Degree in Economics from the University of Saigon, where she was recruited by the ARVN, whom we aided during the war. Her brother was a Captain in the ARVN who fled to the United States with her son to escape execution. The only catch was that she had to stay in Vietnam and work for them.
Co arranges them transportation via river pirates, and they infiltrate the camp where they quickly discover the existence of POWs. Not one to just let a guy suffer in a cage, Rambo frees a man named De Fravio, an Air Force Lieutenant who is now a walking skeleton.
They try to escape via the river pirates again, but get sold out. Of course, they kill the river pirates.
While they are hauling ass to the extraction point, Kirkhill learns that they’ve found a POW and he orders the helicopter to turn around. Trautman is on board the helicopter and pulls a gun on the pilot, but the merc’s pull their guns on him. They want their payday, so they’re going by Kirkhill’s orders.
So, our heroes are captured at the extraction point and this is where it really gets entertaining.
They’re tortured right?
Yep, and not only that, but Soviet Lt. Commander Podovsk arrives with his Russian muscle, Palyushin, to interrogate Rambo. “I was sent here because of my command of your language. It will be frustrating if we cannot have a nice chat. Very frustrating.”
They electrocute Rambo. It gets ugly when Podovsk reads a communications transcript to him, “It seems they intentionally abandoned you on direct orders.”
Okay, so the odds are stacking up against Rambo.
He’s got these fucking Russians, all the VC, and now Kirkhill has become an enemy.
How is Rambo going to get out of this mess, save the POWs, and get revenge?
Through a crescendoing series of escapes and kills that gives the 12 Trials of Hercules a run for its money.
So well in fact, that we can credit Cameron for creating yet another iconic character for our cultural story consciousness. The prototypical, modern day mythic action hero we know as Rambo.
Before Cameron’s involvement, Rambo was just a sad drifter that got pushed around one too many times. But he changed that. He spun the character, resurrecting him into something that burned into the minds of the populace, recreating him as something bigger than life.
It starts with an escape out of the POW camp with the help of Co. It’s pure mayhem and there’s a combined VC/Soviet Army on the hunt for two people.
Rambo stealthily breaks some necks, first with his bare hands, then with some vines. A dude dies when the muddy wall behind him reveals that it has eyeballs; the guy is gutted like a pig. Soldiers succumb to crossbow bolts. Palyushin’s helicopter arrives and kills Co with its minigun fire.
Co’s death results in the mass murder of our enemies.
The army traps Rambo in a field of elephant grass, but Rambo sets everyone on fire with gasoline. Palyushin starts dropping canisters of napalm on Rambo, but Rambo somehow gets into the helicopter and fistfights the big Russian. Things end badly for Palyushin when Rambo kills him at point blank range, INSIDE OF THE HELICOPTER, with the minigun.
So, Rambo takes the helicopter and goes back to the internment camp. Killing everyone. He rescues Brewer and the POWs, but is then pursued by Podovsk in his higher tech Soviet copter.
“Hell, this is just like fucking Star Wars, man!”
De Fravio is puzzled. “Star Wars?”
Brewer grins. “You’re gonna love it.”
There’s a minigun battle and Rambo manages to win. It’s cool, but I do prefer Stallone’s version where he feigns death, and suddenly pops up with a rocket launcher and takes out Podovsk.
Back at the operations base, Rambo has his moment with Kirkhill, scaring the shit out of him, “Mission accomplished.”
Then Rambo finally gets to hear what he always wanted to hear when De Fravio is being carted off on a stretcher, “You did good, buddy. Real good.”
So do you prefer one draft to another, Rog?
You know, I’m not sure. Stallone is using the structure and action beats Cameron laid out, sans some of the accoutrement. But I like many of Stallone’s changes. Particularly this dialogue exchange between Rambo and Co:
“That why they pick you? Because you like to fight?”
“I’m expendable.”
“Expendable. What mean expendable?”
“It’s like…when someone invites you to a party and you don’t show up. It doesn’t really matter.”
I think it’s a case of successful collaboration, where the movie just wouldn’t be the same without both of Cameron’s and Stallone’s involvement.

[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[ ] worth the read
[x] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: Planting and payoffs. There’s a moment in this story where Co infiltrates the internment camp by pretending to be a prostitute. It’s how she’s able to aid Rambo in his escape. Sounds a bit outlandish right? Why does it work? Because earlier, when our heroes first make it to the camp, they see that there’s a prostitute on bicycle propositioning the guards. They let her in. This is a case where a solution was planted in the plot early in the script. It lays the groundwork in the audience’s mind for what’s to come, and it pays off when Co uses it as a ruse. Do you have payoffs in your scripts without planting? Look through them. Without proper planting, those pay-off moments will come off as plot glitches.

Friday is here, which means it’s time to celebrate our successful writing brethren. Some interesting stuff here. I always wondered why no one had adapted Myst yet. Of all the stupid things studios have chosen to adapt, Myst is probably the most cinematic and obvious choice for a video game adaptation as you can have. So Fincher has attached himself to “Pawn Sacrifice.” Bobby Fischer is an interesting character for sure but is he too complex for a movie of his life? Lots of ways to go with that story and I’m not convinced, after the first draft, that they know where to take it. Guggenheim is doing what all of us hope to do, which is once you sell that spec, capitalize on your earlier work. Can’t tell if it’s something serious or Home Alone in a police station but good for him. 2008 Nicholl winner “Butter” will finally make it to the big screen. Not a fan of the script but the writer is a really nice guy so I’m rooting for it. I’ve also included the release of the new Predators trailer. I don’t know about you but there’s something very light-weight about the concept for me. The guys are thrown on a planet to be hunted by Predators? Too easy. I feel like a bunch of 12 year olds goofing around at a birthday party could’ve come up with that idea. I was hoping for something a little more complex from Rodriquez. Anyway, here’s Jessica Hall with the rundown! :)

There’s an unconfirmed rumor floating around that Warner Bros. just took the rights to the MYST franchise. The 1993 video game puts the player in the role of the Stranger, who uses a special book to travel to the island of Myst.

David Fincher (CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON) is set to direct 2009 Black List scrip PAWN SACRIFICE. Steven Knight’s drama, starring Toby Maguire, tells the story of chess icon Bobby Fischer leading up to his historic world championship match against Boris Spassky. (http://bit.ly/ca17e6)

Newbie writer David Guggenheim sold his second project of 2010. The writer, who sold SAFE HOUSE to Universal back in February, found himself in another bidding war over PUZZLE PALACE. The teen thriller pitch landed at Summit with Temple Hill to produce, reportedly for high six-figures. Story follows a kid who gets locked in a police station trying to steal evidence and has to escape crooked cops to get out. (http://bit.ly/b2yMMH)

Summit also picked up a pitch by Cory Goodman (PRIEST). Timur Bekmambetov (WANTED) is attached to direct THE LAST WITCH HUNTER about one of the last witch hunters, a breed that keeps the population of witches and warlocks in check, who must stop a sudden population boom in the witches’ ranks. (http://bit.ly/aFNIsu)

2008 Black List script BUTTER is finally headed into production next month with The Weinstein Co. joining Michael De Luca Prods. and Vandalia Films. Jennifer Garner will star and Jim Field Smith (SHE’S OUT OF MY LEAGUE) will direct from the script by Jason Micallef. (http://bit.ly/cquF1e)

Richard Price (RANSOM) will do a production pass on COLD LIGHT OF DAY before Marbrouk El Mechri (JCVD) directs. Original script was by Scott Wiper and John Petro about a young Wall Street trader whose family is kidnapped on a vacation to Spain, leaving him with only hours to find them, uncover a government conspiracy and make the connection between their disappearance and his father’s secrets. (http://bit.ly/95kNoM)

Warner Bros. has picked up high-concept action-comedy STERLING from writers Mike Bender and Doug Chernack (TORRENTE). The pair is also behind awkwardfamilyphotos.com, which has spawned it’s own movie adaptation. (http://bit.ly/c9JvPq)

Keith Merryman and David A. Newman (OUTSOURCED) will adapt Steve Harvey’s bestseller “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man” for Screen Gems. Book offers advice for women seeking to better understand their male counterparts. (http://bit.ly/9ATr8Y)

Sony picked up spec script ROAD TO NARDO from writers Andrew Waller and Mike Gagerman. Comedy, about two guys who go to Mexico to rescue their friend, will be Scot Armstrong’s directorial debut. Comedy writer Armstrong is responsible for OLD SCHOOL and SEMI PRO. (http://bit.ly/chhauL)

Jeff Stockwell (BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA) will adapt A WRINKLE IN TIME for Disney and Bedrock. Madeline L’Engle’s 1962 Newbery Medal-winning sci-fi novel revolves around three teenagers’ interplanetary mission to rescue their missing scientist father. They are counseled along the way by the mysterious trio of Mrs. Whatsit, Mrs. Who and Mrs. Which.

New Line also announced Walter Salles (THE MOTORCYCLE DIARIES) will direct Stockwell’s OUR WILD LIFE aka PEACEABLE KINGDOM. (http://bit.ly/bMddf5)

Wahoooo! Jessica Hall is back with another Weekly Rundown. In addition to her great round-up, I’m also hearing that John Hughes’ “The Grigsbys Go Broke” could end up getting made.

DreamWorks picked up film rights to Kathryn Stockett’s best-selling novel “The Help.” Tate Taylor will write and direct the project, which explores the complicated relationships between the matrons of the South in 1962 and the maids and housekeepers who take care of their kids and homes. (http://www.bit.ly/d4XoRh).

Producers Daniel Sladek and Chris Taaffe have acquired rights to the novel “Night of the Howling Dogs,” written by Graham Salisbury. Young adult novel is about the quest for survival that Boy Scout Troop 77 of Hilo, Hawaii experienced while camping in the wilderness during the 1972 earthquake in Halape and the subsequent tsunami that followed. (http://www.bit.ly/ay7hy9)

Matthew Greenberg (1408) will adapt another Stephen King project, boarding PET SEMETARY for Paramount. King’s 1983 novel was previously brought to the screen by Paramount in 1989. Previous drafts were written by Mike Werb, Michael Colleary and Dave Kajganich. (http://www.bit.ly/bS2Irr)

New Line is reviving POLICE ACADEMY, hoping for a new franchise. No writer or director has been attached. (http://www.bit.ly/brW3Ip)

2009 Black List writers Cole-Kelly & Pitman (DIVERSIFICATION OF NOAH MILLER) sold a comedy pitch to Fox for Chernin to produce. PREMATURE MATURATION revolves around a group of middle-school kids who find themselves transformed into adults. (http://www.bit.ly/d8oHLq)

TV veteran Alexa Junge (“United States of Tara”) is set to rewrite AU PAIRS. R.J. Cutler (SEPTEMBER ISSUE) previously boarded as director. The Warner Bros. project follows three teenage girls learning how the other half lives by talking summer jobs with a wealthy family in the Hamptons. Previous draft was written by Liz Garcia (1% MORE HUMID). (http://www.bit.ly/9213BO)

“Sopranos” creator David Chase finally announced details on the project he’s set to write and direct for Paramount. Project was announced nearly two years ago. Chase’s directorial debut will be a music-driven coming-of-age story set in the 1960s. (http://www.bit.ly/cZ0y0J)

John Hodge (TRANSPOTTING) will write Guy Ritchie’s (SHERLOCK HOLMES) project, KING ARTHUR, Warner Brothers’ re-imagining of the 6th century legend of King Arthur. Project is not to be confused with WB’s EXCALIBUR to be directed by Bryan Singer from Epstein & Moore’s 2009 spec about a suburban dad who pulls the legendary sword from the stone at a Medieval Times Renaissance Fair. (http://www.bit.ly/9bFu6N)

Kevin MacDonald (STATE OF PLAY) will direct MURDER MYSTERY from Jamie Vanderbilt’s (ZODIAC) script. Project was picked up by Tower Hill in turnaround from Disney. “Murder Mystery” revolves around an American couple honeymooning in Europe who are implicated when they witness a murder and wind up embroiled in international intrigue. (http://www.bit.ly/bgfvO4)

Last week we told you about Dustin Lance Black’s (MILK) HOOVER BIOPIC. Now, Clint Eastwood (INVICTUS) has signed on to direct. We mentioned that the project was set up at Universal due to Imagine Entertainment’s involvement, but Variety says the project, which is still without a studio home, is like to go to WB because of Malpaso’s deal. (http://www.bit.ly/asbuLs)

Warner Bros. is planning an action pic based on Leonardo Da Vinci, picking up a treatment from producer Adrian Askarieh titled “Leonardo da Vinci and the Soldiers of Forever.” No writer or director has been announced. (http://www.bit.ly/9wANED)

Cooper Layne’s (THE CORE) crime thriller spec RUTHLESS was picked up by Indie banner Double Nickel Prods. Story centers on an ex-con who shows up in a small Louisiana town and disrupts the lives of the inhabitants by exposing their secrets. (http://www.bit.ly/aX6La0)

Mark Bomback (UNSTOPPABLE) will rewrite PROTECTION for Gary Fleder (EXPRESS) to direct. Fox project centers on a college professor who investigates the disappearance of his wife and daughter and who must confront authorities at the Witness Protection Program to find them. Original spec was by Allan Loeb (WALL STREET 2). (http://www.bit.ly/aQdqug)

Phillip Noyce (SALT) will direct 2009 black list script WENCESLAS SQUARE. Script was penned by Markus & McFeely (NARNIA). Story chronicles the lives of two spies who fall in love while on separate missions in Prague during the 1980s. (http://www.bit.ly/cQhh2l)

Chris Gorak (RIGHT AT YOUR DOOR) will write and direct DARKEST HOUR for Summit and New Regency. Thriller is about a group of kids struggling to survive after an alien invasion. Previous drafts were written by Jon Spaihts (PASSENGERS) and Les Bohem (REAL STEAL). (http://www.bit.ly/b0YgdT)

CG film FOUNTAIN CITY, based on a pitch from director Andrew Adamson (SHREK) and writer Joby Harold (ARMY OF THE DEAD) was picked up by L.A.-based Lightstream Pictures. Project info is being kept under wraps, but it’s planned as a big budget live action/CGI hybrid fantasy adventure epic. (http://www.bit.ly/dkuRUy)