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The Dark Knight – (Nolan Theme Week)

Posted on October 11, 2010 | by admin

It’s Nolan Theme Week here at Scriptshadow and while I know some of you will bicker about the interruption of our stream of unproduced screenplay reviews, if you’re a Nolan fan, you should enjoy the change of pace.  You see, I’ve been wanting to break down Christopher Nolan’s films for awhile now.  The man is the only director working who can consistently offer Hollywood thrills in a cerebral package.  His unique brand of high-brow/high-concept entertainment has resulted in an unheard of 1.8 billion dollar haul for his last two films.  Clearly, this man is doing something right.  So I wanted to take a deeper look into his movies, specifically the story-structure, cast of characters, and narrative choices, and see if we can’t discover what Nolan is doing on the writing end that makes these films so popular, and in turn use that knowledge to improve our own writing.

Now these are script-as-film reviews.  That means we’ll be addressing only the story/screenplay elements that can be seen onscreen, not the words on the page.  If you have a fundamental problem with this, feel free to e-mail me and we can discuss it.  But there will be no debate about it in the comments section. 

I have to say I’m happy Roger chose to review The Dark Knight.  I have watched this movie three times now and I’m still not entirely sure what happens.  I’d probably need 5000 words to bring all my thoughts together, and even then they’d be an in-cohesive mess.  But watching five Nolan films back to back last week, I realized that that’s probably exactly what Nolan wants, and one of the keys to his success.  Shit, I’m getting ahead of myself.  It’s not my turn yet.  Here’s Roger with his review of The Dark Knight!  

Genre: Crime/Drama/Superhero Movie
Premise: Batman, Gordon and Harvey Dent are forced to deal with the chaos unleashed by an anarchist mastermind known only as the Joker, as it drives each of them to their limits.
About: Sequel to Warner Bros. and Nolan’s Batman Begins. Starred Christian Bale, Aaron Eckhart, Gary Oldman, and Heath Ledger and set numerous box office records and received 8 Academy Award Nominations, including Best Supporting Actor for Ledger’s performance.
Writer: Screenplay by Jonathan Nolan & Christopher Nolan; Story by Christopher Nolan & David S. Goyer
I really don’t know what you want me to say, here, because I’ll be the first to admit I’m not a film reviewer. I’m a story admirer, and I suppose, analyst, but all that’s more of a second nature to my first inclination, which is to create. 
I like putting stories together; I like taking other people’s stories apart. 
So, in that spirit, when Carson told me that we would be reviewing Christopher Nolan movies, I thought, on my end at least, the only thing that wouldn’t make you readers groan would be to deconstruct The Dark Knight to the best of my abilities (without getting too long-winded, because, trust me, I could go on forever about this script as Pure Plot Monstrosity). 
What are some facts about The Dark Knight that I may not know about, Rog?
It’s the 7th Highest-Grossing Film of All Time.
It’s one of only three films to have earned more than $500 million at the North American box office. (The other two being James Cameron flicks, and I’ll let you guess which ones.)
It’s probably the first Superhero Movie that successfully utilizes a two-villain storyline. (Can you think of another that is so well-balanced?)
Christopher Nolan and his brother, Jonathan, supposedly received no notes from Warner Brothers after they wrote the screenplay. 
I need a grasp of your cinema palette, Rog. What do you think of Christopher Nolan?
To use a friend’s phrase, he’s a Story Engineer that creates narratives where nothing happens because of accident. When it comes to making choices, you get the sense that everything has been turned over and over in the man’s mind like a rock in a lapidary and that he’s considered all the alternatives. One suspects that everything is unfolding exactly as planned and that the emotions the audience is feeling at a particular moment were foreseen in the creator’s mind when he was planning the blueprints. Ironically, I think a by-product of this calculated nature is a sense of emotional detachment that skews cold, and I wonder if that’s also a case of plot machinations overpowering character sentiment. 
Someone says ‘Nolan’, you say —
Plot Virtuoso.
I suppose, that for someone in order to admire such a title, they first have to know, that when it comes to creation, plot is a real motherfucker. 
Plot is that frame you’re hanging your story from, and even if you’re creating a self-described tone poem with so-called zero plot, you’re still trying to create a series of events (A and a B and a C) that an audience can follow without totally violating their suspension of disbelief. From quests to whodunits to sprawling crime sagas inhabited by multiple characters, all with different goals and the complex plans to achieve those goals (which The Dark Knight is), creating a plot that works is a true achievement. 
And, Christopher Nolan is a master with plot, and he never seems satisfied with just utilizing one that simply unfolds linearly. He uses multiple threads and weaves a complex plot tapestry with a texture that is known for having plenty of twists. From creating a puzzle box mystery narrative with The Prestige to sustaining five separate suspense and action sequences simultaneously for over an hour in Inception, it’s hard to deny that the cerebral quality of Nolan’s work can be traced to the diabolically designed plots. 
And, man, The Dark Knight is no exception. 
It’s a Plot Beast.
What’s the plot, Rog?
I’m going to assume you guys have seen the movie. But, quickly, to refresh your memory, the story follows three protagonists, Batman, D.A. Harvey Dent, and Police Lt. Gordon (a hero who falls, a hero transformed into a villain, and a hero that is promoted) as they try to destroy all organized crime in Gotham City, only to create an environment for a new breed of criminal, The Joker, to waltz in and assume control of the city through fear and anarchy, which manifests through acts of terrorism against the citizens and public officials, creating complicated moral dilemmas for the heroes.
What’s interesting about the film is that it’s a Superhero Movie that’s played straight and as realistically as possible while at the same time retaining the element of fantasy, action and spectacle that the comic book genre is known for. In fact, it’s a Superhero Movie that is not only visionary (which is expected these days), but it’s about the fall of a hero rather than his victory. It’s a bleak, noir-esque crime saga that is both cerebrally challenging and morally sophisticated. Gotham City seems to be a character unto itself, with a palpable social strata whose soul is also represented by two symbols (The Dark Knight, The White Knight). Not only is it the best conceived and executed of the genre, it’s the most financially successful.
It’s also notable for the late Heath Ledger’s performance as The Joker. 
The Joker is so unhinged, a loose cannon firing loudly on a stage where everything is so tightly controlled by the director. Heath Ledger’s Mephistophelean performance burns in the foreground of the cold color palette like he’s the only stringless wild card in a marionette troupe whose every move and mannerism is only a reflection of the volition of the puppet master. This backdrop is the perfect home for the agent of chaos to thrive. 
Structurally, we want to know what makes the screenplay work. Watching the movie unspool on screen, it’s a bit exhausting. It’s way over two hours long and the screenplay clocks in around 140 pages. Let’s take a closer look at the dense blueprints…
…The Dark Knight expands the traditional four-act dramatic structure (if you look at Act 2 as two different Acts) and crams it with heist sequences, action sequences, caper sequences, detective sequences, suspense sequences, chase sequences and even a Bridge (which feels like a mini-act unto itself) between Act 3 and Act 4. The logic in most of the sequences is pretty sturdy, and while they all certainly entertain, there are only a few instances where the devices (cell phone technology, the retrieving of fingerprints off a bullet in a brick) are stretched and call for a willful and aware suspension of disbelief. The marvel is that these complex plot sequences work in tandem to not only entertain, but to put the spotlight on the pretty serious human drama that’s unfolding between all of our players. Hell, in an ordinary spec script, the events from one of these set-pieces would be the climax to the entire movie. 
What happens in the 1st Act?
Before we get a primer on the current state of Gotham City, we are introduced to the villain that’s going to attempt to burn the city to the ground and destroy the souls of its triumvirate of guardians. It starts out with a six minute heist sequence that introduces us to The Joker, a man who not only kills all the other crooks he hired for the job, but who is also crazy enough to rob from the mob. We’re unclear of his origin and motivation, but as the film progresses, we learn that he doesn’t want to kill Batman, he would rather make the vigilante unmask himself and create a fiasco. Further in, we also learn that he doesn’t really have a goal in mind, other than to create an environment of ever-burning chaos. He wants to play a game that never ends. 
Batman’s vigilantism has upset the criminal ecosystem, and all the crime lords are not only afraid to peddle their wares on the streets, they’re also paranoid that the law is going to break up their operations. Which is true, as Lt. Gordon wants to lead a dragnet to search all the banks that may be affiliated with the syndicates. Gordon and Batman are helping each other out on this front, and it appears they also have an ally in Harvey Dent, the heroic D.A. who punches out a mob guy while on the witness stand when he tries to shoot him. 
Batman’s alter ego, Wayne, has been keeping tabs on Dent, who is dating the love of his life, Rachel. Although Wayne still has feelings for Rachel, he knows that as long as Gotham needs Batman, he can’t be with her. Interestingly, he sees an opportunity to retire the cowl when he learns more about Dent. While Batman is The Dark Knight, a symbol that does right while working outside of the system, he realizes that Dent can accomplish everything he’s dedicated his life to, but he can do so while operating inside of the system. 
Dent can be The White Knight. 
And, as such, Wayne will be able to put Batman aside and finally marry Rachel. So, accordingly, he decides to throw a fundraiser for Dent. 
Meanwhile, The Joker tries to convince the crime lords of Gotham to pay him to kill Batman. They scoff at him, and decide to store their money with a Hong Kong banker named Lau. It’s even more complicated because Lau has been trying to negotiate a merger with Wayne Enterprises, but Wayne has only been humoring Lau to get a look at his books. 
As soon as Wayne finds out he’s dirty, and with the help of his weapons guy, Lucius Fox, plans a caper to retrieve Lau from the refuge of his Hong Kong skyscraper and comes out triumphant in pretty dramatic fashion.
So, what’s Act 2 about?
With Lau in custody, Dent comes up with this scheme to arrest every criminal in town because of the evidence Lau can supply him with, implicating them with the mob and their money. It’s a stunt that gets Dent a lot of press, but it’s only the beginning. 
As the criminal underworld has the rug swept out from underneath them, The Joker makes news headlines when he starts murdering Batman wannabes, claiming that he’ll only stop when Batman shows Gotham his true identity. The shit hits the fan when he kills the judge presiding over this monumental court case and the police commissioner, with Dent next on the list. 
The Joker shows up at Wayne’s fundraising party for Dent, and he manhandles Rachel then throws her out a window to see how Batman is going to react. The Joker gets all the information he needs when Batman dives out of a skyscraper window after her. 
Batman gets his detective on to locate The Joker, and we’re thrust into a suspense sequence that revolves around the police commissioner’s funeral and The Joker’s assassination attempt on the Mayor. It’s another complicated set-piece, because, hey, The Joker’s a complicated guy and he’s planned all this shit out down to a T. It ends in the Joker getting away and Gordon presumably dead. 
The act ends when the public cries for Batman to turn himself in to stop the Joker’s terrorism, but Dent steals his thunder and says he’s the Batman. Which plunges us not only into Dent’s plan, but Gordon’s plan (who we think is dead), and Batman’s plan (all operating separately) to lure The Joker into a trap and capture him.
What happens in Act 3?
This is where we discover that all the protagonists have some type of complicated plan to stop The Joker, only to discover that his plan trumps all of their plans. If you think about it, it’s pretty fucking ridiculous. But, hey, it’s a labyrinthine plot.
Dent’s plan: When he says he’s Batman, he’ll be arrested and transferred to county. Along the way, he expects to be attacked by The Joker. But, Batman will be there to save the day. 
Gordon’s plan: Because everyone thinks he bit the bullet, no one will suspect him going undercover as a SWAT team member on the convoy. When The Joker attacks, he’ll be there to stop him.
Batman’s plan: Blow shit up in his car and batcycle and capture The Joker.
What the hell is The Joker’s plan?
Why, to let himself get captured while the dirty cops on his side capture Harvey and Rachel and take them to two separate locations. He’ll fuck with Gordon and Batman’s heads in the interrogation room, then reveal that he knows where Harvey and Rachel are but they have to choose to only save one of them. 
It’s a heartbreaking moral dilemma. 
Ultimately, Rachel is killed and Harvey is grotesquely scarred.
What’s this Bridge you’re talking about, Rog?
This is like a ten-minute long mini-act that is about Dent’s transformation into Two Face. It sort of plays like the set-up to the finale. 
Dent tells Gordon that he’s blaming him for the death of Rachel, and that he’s going to get his revenge. Meanwhile, the mob gives all of their money to The Joker, but the joke’s on them, he sets it all on fire. Why? Because he’s fucking crazy.
The Joker then puts out a bounty on a Wayne Enterprises turncoat who is going to out Batman’s identity on television, and then he arrives at the hospital to usher Dent into his new identity as a villain. He blows up the hospital. 
And the Final Act?
The Joker owns Gotham now. He’s singlehandedly closed all bridges and tunnels while Two Face goes on a killing spree against all the dirty cops that contributed to the scenario that got his fiancé killed. 
The huge moral dilemma set-piece is the two ferry sequence, where The Joker orchestrates a situation for the normal citizens of Gotham to blow up a ferry containing the lawbreakers of Gotham, and vice-versa. It’s an interesting comment on vigilantism, and of course it all culminates into a battle royale where Batman has to find The Joker and fight a SWAT team and dogs. Of course, he’s able to stop The Joker, but not before realizing that The White Knight has been compromised. 
Batman finds Two Face threatening to kill Gordon’s son, and after he defuses the situation, killing Dent, he realizes that they can’t reveal to the populace that their White Knight has gone to the Dark Side. 
So, although he does the heroic thing and has Batman take the blame, he does it knowing that he was the one that pushed Dent into the spotlight and started the chain-reaction of his fall from grace. 
I remember coming out of the theater feeling exhausted, drained, unsettled and awed…and, satisfied.
I experienced the same emotional state when I saw The Prestige for the first time, and while I felt exhausted after watching Inception, I wasn’t really satisfied. While I had the notion that it was cool cerebral spectacle, I thought the complexity of the mind heist plot and its various set-pieces and sequences lacked the planning in his other, more satisfying movies. Sure, a lot of thought surely went into it, but it all felt like a misfire to me. 
Inception had too much fucking exposition in it, and it was obvious that the characters existed to service the plot, not the other way around.

Script Link: The Dark Knight

SCRIPT
[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[ ] worth the read
[x] impressive
[ ] genius
FILM
[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[ ] worth the read
[x] impressive
[ ] genius
What I learned: The Dark Knight has some sort of high-concept set-piece every ten or fifteen minutes. Interestingly enough, most movies can be broken down into eight, twelve to fifteen minute sequences. These sequences have a beginning, middle and end. Now, constructing such a sequence is a true challenge, but even in sprawling sagas like The Dark Knight, it’s still operating in a traditional structure (no matter how modern it may seem). Where does this come from? Why, the old days, when movies were divided into reels containing about ten minutes of film. The projectionist had to change each reel, and history’s screenwriters had to learn to write one sequence per reel. The narrative rhythm was defined by the physical media. Even today, we still see this pattern in modern films. But, of course, a movie like The Dark Knight would probably have twice as many reels as those older flicks.
*
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What I Watched/Read This Week

Posted on October 10, 2010 | by admin

MODERN FAMILY
Modern Family somehow took a premise that was getting tired fast – the mockumentary sitcom – and made it fresh again, by having the cameras document a family. To be honest, I thought this season’s premiere episode kinda sucked.  It felt like the cast was trying too hard to live up to last season’s buzz. The second episode (The Kiss) was much better, as the actors seemed to find their characters again. This week’s episode, The Earthquake, had Phil locking his wife in the bathroom after an earthquake dislodged a book cabinet that came inches from killing their son. This particular cabinet is a cabinet Phil promised his wife he had fastened to the wall months ago in the off chance that an earthquake should dislodge it and it nearly kill one of their children.  So Phil goes to work securing the cabinet, hopefully before Claire finds her way out of the bathroom.  I would argue that Ty Burrell is the funniest character on TV right now.  I love this show.

THE EVENT
Okay, yes, The Event IS a Lost ripoff.  Impossible to argue that.  But let me say something if I may. This is the best Lost ripoff to hit television since Lost debuted six years ago. There are many reasons why I should hate this show, the biggest being the unoriginal random time bouncing that keeps happening. But here’s the thing that always saves it.  Once we get into the actual scene we’ve time-jumped to, it’s always good.  Every scene in The Event is packed with suspense, mystery, and action, and it’s all non-stop.  Jason Ritter, who should have been an indication to avoid the show, is pretty freaking amazing as the lead character. There hasn’t been a second in the first three episodes where I didn’t believe him.  And that just doesn’t happen to me anymore.  I have to admit also that I’m genuinely interested in who these mysterious visitors are and what their purpose is. I don’t know if this is going to crash and burn a la Heroes or has some Lost-level mythological depth, but I am officially a fan of the show.

OPEN WATER 2
Okay, you’re not allowed to ask me under what circumstances I found myself watching this sequel to the 2003 surprise hit, Open Water. Just know that as soon as I realized the watching was on, I was committed to trashing it for the entirety of its running time.  Indeed, the way this thing starts, with a bunch of douchebag friends going out for a nostalgic booze cruise, I wanted to claw my eyeballs out.  But to my complete surprise, the unique and shockingly simple premise made me reevaluate everything.  Basically these guys head out to the middle of the ocean, jump out to go swimming, and then realize they forgot to place a ladder on the side of the boat!  So they can’t – get – back – up. And the best part? There’s a baby on the boat! I mean come on. You gotta love it. This is cheesy as hell. Silly as hell. Stupid as hell.  The ending is so melodramatic even the titles are rolling their eyes.  But hell if it’s not a fun ride. A great backup plan flick.   

PRESSURE COOKER
If you know me, you know one of my pet peeves is critics’ infatuation with documenteries. You could make a documentary about upholstery and it would get at least an 85% on Rotten Tomatoes. Documentaries are fine.  I have no problem with them.  But putting the word “documentary” on your poster shouldn’t ensure a four-star rating.  Unless that documentary is Pressure Cooker.  This totally surprising doc is about a group of inner city kids who take a culinary arts class in hopes of getting a college cooking scholarship. Although the focus is on the tough-as-nails guidance of teacher Wilma Stephensen (who, behind the scenes, terminated the documentary several times for being too intrusive on her class), the breakout star for me was the socially awkward Fatoumata, a recent immigrant from Africa who used to walk 30 miles to and from school every day, and who takes advantage of every oppotuntiy America gives her, foregoing activites such as hanging out with friends and her senior prom so she can perfect her culinary skills, all in hopes of landing that 100 thousand dollar scholarship.  If you’re feeling down and just want to smile, watch this documentary now.  It’s really good.

THE GIRL WHO PLAYED WITH FIRE
I’m about 150 pages into this right now and let’s just say I’m f’ing disappointed. (spoilers) The second Lisbeth Salander is introduced as having a boob job, a little piece of my dragon tattoo died. There are no circumstnaces under which this character would ever or should ever get a boob job, yet these kind of strange choices are commonplace in this Dragon Tattoo sequel.  Mix in a hurricane (?) a few pointless Salander relationships that go nowhere, and a story that pretends like Salander and Blomqvist never even met each other, and I’m borderline pissed. The only reason I’m still reading is because Dragon Tattoo took 200 pages to start getting good. So I ask you dragon tattoo experts. Is it worth it to keep reading? Or should I move on to another book? The first book is so amazing, I don’t want to spoil it with all this random stupidness.

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Snow White and The Huntsman

Posted on October 7, 2010 | by admin

Genre: Fairy-tale Mash-up
Premise: Snow White teams up with a local hunter to take down her evil step-mother, Ravenna.
About: This is the spec script that sold for 1.5 million last week. Evan Daugherty was working as an intern a couple of years ago. He won the Script Pimp contest in 2008 with his script, “Shrapnel,” which John McTiernan later committed to direct. Something tells me that one’s going to be in development for at least another year. Shrapnel led to him doing a rewrite on He-Man, which eventually led to this huge sale. If there is such a thing as the moment every screenwriter dreams of, this would be it. 
Writer: Evan Daugherty (inspired by the Brothers Grimm’s “Little Snow White.”)
Details: 110 pages – undated (This is an early draft of the script. The situations, characters, and plot may change significantly by the time the film is released. This is not a definitive statement about the project, but rather an analysis of this unique draft as it pertains to the craft of screenwriting).

When this sale happened, my first thought was, “I couldn’t write a script like that in a million years.” This subject matter is so far out of my field of expertise (whatever that is) I felt a little like a member of the Cannes jury having just been told the plot to Star Wars Episode 1, The Phantom Menace. i.e. Confused.

So there’s…Snow White? And she…teams up with a huntsman? But isn’t Snow White dead? Doesn’t she live with dwarves? I was definitely the grandma someone was trying to explain the internet to.

Yet these reimagining fairy tale/historical mash-ups are plugging their way through the Hollywood pipeline and everyone’s banking on them becoming the next big thing (costing no money for rights cause they’re in the public domain certainly doesn’t hurt).

Snow White and The Huntsman follows Miss White’s life as a princess, which for all intents and purposes is pretty sweet. She’s got a strapping young prince doting over her. She loves her family. And paparazzi won’t be invented for another 300 years.

But then her mother, the queen, dies, and because pops can’t keep it in his pants, he marries some hot young trophy wife, the evil Ravenna. Ravenna’s got all sorts of issues, but her biggest one is her desperate desire to look prettier than everyone else in the land.

So obsessed is she with this desire that she hires a local huntsman to seek out the hottest women he can find, capture them, and bring them back to her. She then puts them through the hot girl juicer, a machine that sucks the youth out of these poor women, turning it into juice, which Ravenna then drinks so she can stay young and hot.

Well word on the street is that Snow White is eerily close to becoming the fairest woman in the land, so it’s time for that bitch to get juiced too. But Snow White doesn’t wanna get juiced, and runs into the forest, where she eventually teams up with The Hunstman, who reluctantly helps her escape to freedom.

Of course, in a nod to films like Romancing The Stone and The Princess Bride, these two simply don’t like each other, so there’s a lot of arguing, a lot of not understanding the other’s way, and a lot of repressed desiring.

Eventually Snow White realizes that if she’s going to survive in the wild, she’ll need the particular skillset of the huntsman, and so she forces Hunty to teach her the way of the land. Now I know the question all of you are dying to have me answer so I’ll confirm it right here: YES, our seven dwarfs make an appearance.  In fact, our seven dwarfs are pretty badass, and become a key component later in defeating the queen.  

I’m always amazed by the imagination of these worlds. First of all, let’s face it, fairy tales are fucked up to begin with. Who thinks up a story where a dead woman sleeps in a coffin with a bunch of gnomes?  Since when do wolves have super-human blowing powers and blow down houses…with PIGS in them???  And isn’t there a fairy tale where a bunch of people live in a giant shoe?  They must have smoked a lot of dope back in the 1600s, I’ll tell you that.  So to then take an already freaky premise and further freak it into something weirder has to be considered a unique talent.  So I give credit to Daugherty there.

From a structural perspective, I was also impressed. Snow White having to escape off into the woods was a solid first act break. But more importantly, Daugherty knows how to build through that second act, realizing that if he just gave us Snow White and The Huntsman arguing for 60 pages we’d be bored out of our minds. So he adds plenty of complications (the seven dwarves, an old boyfriend, some bounty hunters, Ravenna’s impending second marriage) to keep us on our toes. It all builds to a solid third act, where the forces of good and evil engage in a final smackdown, and while it doesn’t reinvent the wheel, it definitely works.

Now I’ve been reading quite a few of these mash-up scripts on the amateur front and the reason Snow White is better is that everything’s been thought through here. The amateur scripts always feel like a bunch of wacky ideas haphazardly spilled onto the page. It’s like the writers just want credit for being weird and different.  Form, structure, character, really aren’t that important to them.

But this script pays attention to the details.  Take the character of The Huntsman for example. This isn’t just a wise-cracking rogue who’s winking at the audience. His wife was killed years ago by a wolf, and he’s been hunting that wolf ever since. There’s a sadness to this man, a void in him that gives his character weight, that makes him a real person.

I really felt like all the edges of this house were inspected before they put it on the market.  I can’t say the same for the amateur scripts I read, where 60-75% effort is the norm.

I guess the big question I have about Snow White and The Huntsman is, who is it being marketed to? Snow White is very much a little girl’s fairy tale, so that’s your built in demographic right there. Yet this is an edgy grown-up reimagining of the character. So who goes to see it? Will 14 year old boy’s flock to see a Snow White film? I don’t know. And what about adults? Isn’t this too kiddie for them? It’s one of those weird films that seems to be targeted to everyone and yet to no one. Okay, I’m starting to sound like Matrix Reloaded dialogue now, so I’ll move on.

This was a hard script to judge. As a piece of screenwriting, there’s a lot of good stuff in here. But if I’m being honest there isn’t a single aspect of this subject matter that interests me. I felt like I was reading two stories, the one I was admiring as a screenplay and the one about a fairy tale I could care less about. In the end, there’s too much good here not to recommend, but you definitely won’t be catching me at the premiere.

[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[x] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: If I were a studio executive and this landed on my desk, I would’ve passed. My response? “Wasn’t my thing.” Does that mean it didn’t deserve to be bought? Of course not. One of the sucky things about this business is that many times when someone passes on a script of yours, you have no idea why. Talking with managers and agents and producers, one of the things I’ve realized is that sometimes people pass simply because it “wasn’t their thing.” It could be expertly written. It could be a great concept. It could have a killer main character. But that particular producer has no interest in that kind of movie. This can actually empower you when you think about it. If someone passes on your script, don’t let it get you down. Simply assume that it wasn’t their thing and move on to the next guy. Cause that next guy might end up paying you 1.5 million dollars for it.

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Burt Wonderstone

Posted on October 6, 2010 | by admin

Genre: Comedy
Premise: When egomaniac magician Burt Wonderstone’s partner quits, Burt finds himself trying to rediscover his magic mojo solo, all the while fending off an edgy magician with a new style of magic.
About: Chad Kultgen wrote the original spec that sold a few years ago. Those who have been on the site for awhile may remember Kultgen wrote “Dan Minter: Badass For Hire.” Kultgen is also a novelist, having written two books, The Average American Male and The Lie. Jake Kasdan, who directed Walk Hard, Orange County, and the upcoming Cameron Diaz comedy, “Bad Teacher,” will be directing. Steve Carell is attached to play the lead. This is said to be in the vein of Zoolander (although it reads a little less broad to me).
Writers: Chad Kultgen (Story by Chad Kultgen & Tyler Mitchell), Revisions by Jonathan Goldstein & John Francis Daley and Jake Kasdan.
Details: March 17, 2010 – 114 pages (This is an early draft of the script. The situations, characters, and plot may change significantly by the time the film is released. This is not a definitive statement about the project, but rather an analysis of this unique draft as it pertains to the craft of screenwriting).

Steve Carell for some reason is abandoning The Office next year and the TV world is abuzz with who’s going to take his place. If you’re like me, you’re thinking, how is it possible to replace Steve Carrell in The Office? Well guess what? It’s possible. I have a name for you. How ‘bout a little someone called Ricky Gervais!? He would not only fill Carell’s shoes, he’d bust out of them. Gervais is the only choice where you’d actually upgrade the Dunder-Mifflin’s boss position. I mean what’s Gervais done lately anyway? He hasn’t broken out as a movie star. He knows the role can turn people into stars. He still hasn’t caught on with the American audience – what better way to do it than here? He owns the damn show so it would be as easy as saying, “Me.” I don’t know why they don’t just announce this now. I mean it’s a match made in Heaven.

But back to Carell. He’s attached to a billion projects but this looks like it will be his first post-Office role and you know what? It’s perfect for him. I don’t know what it is about this guy but whenever you read a character imagining Steve Carell’s face, it instantly becomes funnier.

Burt Wonderstone is half a world-famous magic team with his long-time best friend Anton Lovecraft. The two have been performing magic since they first learned to shave, and discovered that the power of magic could lift them out of the Dungeon of Dorkville, of which they were they were the king and queen.

But things have changed in the last 20 years and now Burt and Anton don’t get along with each other. Sure they still smile and put on a good act, but as soon as those curtains drop, they’re like a bitter old married couple praying for a divorce.

One day Burt happens upon a public taping of some guy named Steve Haines (a clear take-off of David Blaine and/or Criss Angel). Haines is non-descript, awkward, and, well, boring. But when he cuts his own face open and peels back the skin to perform a magic trick, the nearby crowd goes wild. Burt doesn’t know why but he feels threatened.

Soon Haines is everywhere, performing “tricks” like not going to the bathroom for five days in a row. Burt insists that Haines is not actually performing magic – just hurting himself. Unfortunately, no one’s listening. When he and Anton’s own crowds start disappearing, it’s clear they have to change their magic to cater to this new type of crowd, something Burt refuses to do.

After a particularly disastrous show, Anton’s finally had it and quits the team, leaving Burt all alone. Burt responds by taking his act solo, but isn’t bright enough to incorporate Anton’s absence, therefore doing the exact same show, reading both his own and Anton’s lines as if Anton’s still there (this was my favorite scene in the script). Soonafter, he’s canned, and  when the economy comes crashing down, Burt’s latest trick is that he’s broke.

Burt must then reconnect with his love of magic, reconnect with his best friend Anton, and find a way to defeat the annoying poser Haines. Can he do it all without self-destructing?

Burt Wonderstone is an interesting script to study because it kind of eschews traditional structure yet still finds a way to work. The story favors a lopsided first act, whereby we witness Burt’s downfall for 60 full pages – in other words half the script. That means the actual plot (Burt trying to resurrect his career) doesn’t kick in until the mid-way point, which, in most cases, is way too late.

Why this drawn out act doesn’t spin the script out of control may be a matter of opinion, but I have a couple of theories. First, as I’ve mentioned before, we love train wrecks, especially if they’re funny train wrecks. We enjoy watching a character self-destruct, especially if that character deserves it, and Burt Wonderstone does.

But there’s also this almost imperceptible lovable quality about Burt. We do care for him. And because we care for him, there’s a part of us that wants to see him redeemed.  We wanna take the mixed-up guy by the shoulders, shake him, and say, “You’re better than this!” 

It’s a fine line the writers walk, because if he’s too much of an asshole or too selfish to others, they run the risk of us not liking him. But the writers keep us just enough on his side to root for a comeback.  

I also thought Steve Haines was a brilliant character. They probably could’ve made him even more of a villain, but who doesn’t want to punch David Blaine and Criss Angel in the face? This is a device I always recommend when you have a hero who isn’t overtly likable. Make it so we hate the villain beyond belief. The more we hate him, the more we’re going to side with our hero.

The script is lucky it’s so funny though because there are a few problems here. We were talking about the lack of development in female characters yesterday, and Burt Wonderstone is a prime example. I don’t have any idea what Nicole, the assistant, is doing in this movie. There’s no conviction to her character, nothing to make her stand out, and because she’s not a love interest, she ends up falling through the cracks.

I’ve found in general that readers tend to get confused when you have an attractive female lead that isn’t a love interest. If you don’t do something between her and the main character, the audience, conditioned by thousands of movies, gets antsy, and in some cases angry. That’s not to say every woman in every movie should be a love interest, but if she’s not, she needs some other distinctive characteric – something going on – to justify her purpose in the screenplay, and Nicole doesn’t have that.

Anton also gets lost in the mix . I got the feeling this script was exploring the theme of friendship and what really matters in life (the people around you), yet Anton disappears for something like 50 pages, then pops up like the gopher in Caddyshack.

The ending feels like a November landing at O’Hare as we have a scene that feels like the climax, only to have a second climax appear ten pages later. They might have been between drafts here which would make it understandable. It was just kinda messy.

And yet, through it all, this script won me over. It’s a funny premise, a funny character, and has a ton of funny scenes. The scene with Burt and Anton in the glass box above the casino has the potential to be an instant classic. Good stuff here.

[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[x] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: You want to avoid flashbacks in your movies because they stall your story’s momentum, or even worse, reverse it. But the one genre immune to flashbacks is comedy. I don’t know why but as long as they’re funny, we don’t seem to mind them. Just be careful not to overdo them. The flashbacks in Burt Wonderstone, showing how Burt and Anton got into magic, were fun, but probably went on for a little too long. Get to the flashback, make the joke, convey any information you need to convey, then get out.

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It Is What It Is

Posted on October 5, 2010 | by admin

Genre: Drama/Coming-of-Age
Premise: A dysfunctional group of friends living in San Francisco post-college find that making it in the real world isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
About: This script finished with 9 mentions on the 2006 Black List. Not knowing anything about the writers, Susanna Fogel and Joni Lefkowitz, I did some research after reading the script and found out they’ve recently written the remake script for Little Darlings for J.J. Abrams. The original movie starred Tatum O’Neal and Matt Dillon and was about two 15 year olds from opposite sides of the tracks competing to see who could lose their virginity first (someone called this movie a hit – but it’s not officially available on anything other than VHS). They also have another project in development with Elizabeth Banks in the lead based on the book “What Was I Thinking?: 58 Bad Boyfriend Stories.” It Is What It Is is listed as in development but doesn’t seem to have any movement right now.
Writers: Susanna Fogel & Joni Lefkowitz
Details: 120 pages – Sept 25, 2006 draft (This is an early draft of the script. The situations, characters, and plot may change significantly by the time the film is released. This is not a definitive statement about the project, but rather an analysis of this unique draft as it pertains to the craft of screenwriting).

Black List Time Machine! I took the Black List Time Machine back to 2006 to find this gem. Those early years unfortunately didn’t benefit from the Scriptshadow/widespread script reading presence, so many have since been forgotten. Do not shed a tear though cause I’m bringin’em back baby!  

I’ll admit though, when I started reading this and realized it was a 20-something “trying to find our way in life” flick, I groaned. I actually like the idea of these films. Leaving institutional life for the first time and realizing  all the promises that were made to us weren’t even close to true is a right-of-passage we’re all familiar with. But most writers take the subject matter to the self-important extreme, and we end up following a lot of depressed 20-something losers complaining about making the rent.  Borrr-innnnggggg.

Well I’m happy to say that “It Is What It is” is one of the best versions of this format I’ve read since Happy Thank You More Please. Sure it gets a little self-important at times, but the characters are all well thought out, the situations interesting, and the dialogue fresh. And oh yeah, it’s funny too!

There are four main characters here. We have the quirky semi-alcoholic Eliza, who’d really love to be a photographer but is stuck designing tween underwear for Forever 21. We have the unlucky-in-love trust fund baby Grant, our Jeff Goldblum character from The Big Chill – who no matter how hard he tries, can’t ever seem to get out of the “friend zone” with women. We have stiff-as-a-board Barry, whose disdain for spontaneity explains his desperation to be a lawyer. And we have Jules, a slutty tomboy who invades on our friends’ tight knit circle.

There are a lot of complications for our characters (as there well should be) and they start with Grant, who’s been desperately in love with Eliza since the Renaissance Era, but has settled into that horrible best friend consolation bubble hoping that one day she’ll change her mind. When she meets a guy on Myspace and falls head over heels with him, Grant realizes that that day isn’t coming anytime soon.

Barry’s about to embark on his prestigious law career which will finally allow him to pay back the mountain of debt he’s left behind when his longtime girlfriend tells him no mas. She’s concluded that he’s more boring than elevator music and just like that, a man whose whole world is stability, is no longer in a stable relationship. Everybody somehow convinces Barry to make a “bucket list” of crazy ass things he’d never do and finish it before he enters the corporate world. Get high, have a one night stand, that sort of thing. He doesn’t want to do it but peer pressure gets the best of him. 

Later on, Grant meets the tomboyish Jules, who’s in town to visit her feminist lesbian mother she has a Coke Zero relationship with. When Grant brings her into the tight-knit fold of the three amigos, it throws the delicate balance of this triple-friendship off. Barry immediately likes her, but Eliza sees her as a potential threat.

For a moment it looks like everything’s going to fall apart (story-wise) when Jules’ mother reveals she has a brain tumor and a one night stand from Grant’s past shows up telling him he’s the father of their child. I thought, “Uh oh, and into Hallmark Country we go!” But the writers, thank God, ignore the sappy trappings of the tumor stuff and the Grant-baby story actually turns out to be the engine for some great character exploration. 

The only two people Grant’s ever had sex with are Eliza, on a drunken college night, and this girl, this *beautiful* girl, who clearly took pity on him one random evening. At first Grant is horrified by the prospect of raising a kid, but as they wait for DNA results to prove he’s the father, Grant becomes addicted to the feeling of having another half, a half he’s dreamt of having his whole life.

But the girl only wants financial help from Grant – nothing more. Watching him cling to her when she won’t even give him the courtesy of PRETENDING she’s interested, is so difficult to watch I had to stop reading a couple of times. You feel so bad for the guy.

Eliza has a great storyline as well. She falls in love with this guy online, they have a whirlwind romance, and for the first time in her life, she’s able to break away from her friends. But after he casually mentions a female friend of his, she looks her up on Myspace (I presume we’d change this to Facebook) and becomes obsessed with her and her strange philosophical blog ramblings.

ISWIS has what I’m looking for in every script. It doesn’t go the way you think it’s going to go. There were so many times where I was like, “Oh boy, here it is. Now we’re going to blah blah blah,” but five pages later, I was proven wrong. For example, I was sure that once Grant met Jules, the two would get involved and he would use her to finally get Eliza to like him. But one scene later, Jules ditches Grant at the bar and starts making out with a random bartender, making me rethink everything. I loved it.

I can also always tell when I’m reading a script with a female author (and in this case 2). In most dude-written screenplays, the women aren’t complex in any way. There’s a particular script I cite to others where there were 11 male characters and 7 female characters. Each male character had a 3-line introduction. Each female character never had more than a 3-WORD introduction!

It never occurred to me how insulting this might be to a female reader until I read an amateur script by a woman who approached her male characters the same way. Each had a short curt boring description, while all the women were elaborately complex. I remember thinking, “God, is this how women think of us? As a five word stereotypical blurb?” I completely changed the way I wrote women after that.

I didn’t see any glaring problems here. The script doesn’t have an all-encompassing plot, so the characters’ journeys are the only thing driving the story, and I suspect that might make it boring for some, which I understand. While the tumor storyline wisely avoided melodrama, I think there’s a stronger more appropropirate choice for this story. And there are a few times where you wanted to slap these guys in the face for acting like their lives were just – so – horrible. You’re 26 and not in jail. Your life is fine.

This is updating Reality Bites with, I presume, a hip soundtrack to boot.  The difference is, this script is actually good. I liked it quite a bit and if you like these movies, you should check it out.

[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[xx] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: This is why you should never include pop references in your work. One of the lines in the script is (paraphrasing)… ‘Ooh, someone’s just been watching the Meg Ryan boxing movie.” In that moment, I was totally taken out of the story. The Meg Ryan boxing movie? That film that was out for, what, 2 seconds in 2004? It just completely ruined the flow of the read and made me very aware that I was reading an old script. Hollywood doesn’t like old stuff. They like new stuff. They like the hot new script. So don’t give them anything that’s going to clue them in on your script belonging in the Museum of Natural History.

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