The weekend is here and I’m celebrating it by… shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… going to see A Quiet Place. Gonna see how it holds up to the script, which I loved. This film is like They Come At Night… but with a plot! I heard some crazy things happened during the making of this movie, including director Krasinski changing the entire look of the alien with less than a month til locking film.

Good for him. The film looks great. But now let’s switch to future films. As in YOUR future films. One of the reasons A Quiet Place rocketed up the Hollywood ladder and got into Krasinski’s hands in the first place was because it had a clever premise. Are there any premises today that fit that bill? That’s up to you to decide. The rules to Amateur Offerings are simple. Read as much as you can from each script and vote for your favorite in the comments section. The winner gets a review on the site next Friday.

If you believe you have a screenplay that will light the world on fire, submit it for a future Amateur Offerings! Send me a PDF of your script, along with the title, genre, logline, and why you think people should read it (your chance to pitch your story). All submissions should be sent to Carsonreeves3@gmail.com.

Title: 1500°F
Genre: Survival Drama
Logline: An estranged father takes his two children for a weekend retreat in the wilderness only to find their excursion turning into a frantic struggle for reconciliation and survival as the local area is consumed by a massive wildfire.
Why You Should Read: Well considering the horrendous fires that ripped through California recently, I thought I’d shoot you over my new micro-script, 1500°F. Word is that the Ventura Thomas fire was burning an acre a minute! To give you some perspective, the entirety of NYC’s Central Park would be consumed in fifteen minutes. This script moves just as fast. And more importantly gives the characters just as much focus as the spectacle. A film that inspired me was Norway’s official submission for the 88th Academy Awards, The Wave.

Title: Labyrinth 2: The Goblin Queen
Genre: Fantasy/Adventure
Logline: When the Goblin King abducts a nine-year-old troublemaker, her teenage brother is given 13 hours to find her or else both will be trapped forever inside an otherworldly labyrinth.
WhyShouldAnyoneReadIt: I know, I know. But hear me out. This is not a piece of fan-fiction and I’m not obsessed with the original movie (flawed but enjoyable as it may be). I’m just a writer who saw the potential it had and that’s what pushed me to write this. I knew I had to fix the tone, define the world’s mythology, remove the musical aspect, keep the beloved puppetry magic and continue the narrative from the first movie. And this challenge proved to be quite rewarding for me. Let’s hope anybody out there feels the same way as I do. Doesn’t anyone miss a good old-fashioned adventure? I know what you’re gonna say next, so just in case, here are my replies:

“This will never be made” – Never say never. We’re artists and we’re better than that word.

“David Bowie is dead” – Sadly, that is true. But Tilda Swinton isn’t.

“Nobody cares about Labyrinth” – I’d disagree. When it came out, it was a financial disappointment, but over the years, it has become a beloved cult-movie.

“This is not the kind of thing for Amateur Offerings” – Wasn’t there a Star Wars Episode IX script in the mix not too long ago?

Title: The Call of Cthulhu
Genre: Mystery/Drama
Logline: When a Boston archaeologist is appointed executor of his late uncle’s estate, he begins an investigation into a collection of strange manuscripts and weird art indicating Cthulhu, a mystical deity worshipped by an apocalyptic cult, has returned from the dead.
Why You Should Read: They say that Lovecraft is impossible to adapt. I went back and again read Del Toro’s version of his Lovecraft passion project, Mountains of Madness. There were many flaws in his attempt to adapt Lovecraft. I won’t list them all but his biggest flaw was that he picked the wrong Lovecraft to be tentpoled and brought into the mainstream. It’s a hard sell to the studio for a lot of reasons, but I believe by exploring the Cthulhu story-world first, it would then allow him to piggy-back its success to make his dream project. There is untapped potential into what I call a Lovecraft Cinematic Universe, but introducing him into the mainstream as a franchise takes a certain strategy. That strategy must begin with his watershed, quintessential story, the one that lays out the Lovecraft world that we are essentially selling to the public, the one that an entire franchise can be built off of–The Call of Cthulhu.

This is a true adaptation of the source material, which is in the public domain. Lovecraft already does all the work for us with his great stories, he just needs someone to be able to tell them through a visual medium by beefing up his protags and their journey. I believe I have done that with not only this story, but a few others as well. This script explores very real and important aspects of modern man. It asks questions about perception, reality, truth, value and many other cornerstone concepts that philosophers ponder.

I approached The Call of Cthulhu for what it truly is– an epic adventure disguised as a detective story. A Fincher-esque low-lit investigative thriller punctuated with shocking moments, some strong violence and of course, madness. In the end, that’s all it really is. And it definitely won’t need Del Toro’s Hard R rating or $150 million dollar budget.

Title: Stamps
Genre: Comedic Action
Logline: When his surprisingly valuable stamp collection is stolen, an autistic young man uses his unique abilities in a relentless, indefatigable pursuit to retrieve his stamps before morning, before they are stuffed into Fedex envelopes and shipped to private collectors around the world.
Why You Should Read: Reading this script is not going to change your life. It will not give you some esoteric insight into the godhead, improve your vocabulary, grammar or syntax, motivate you to get into politics or heal that grisly rash. You won’t read lines like “The lavender tinged tendrils streamed from the effervescence dawn into the still room like bells in search of angels.” not because I don’t mix my metaphors (I do), but because that shit’s for pussies. It is not the next Star Wars or Chinatown; it is more Adventures in Babysitting than it is Rainman, and it’s not even close. It was designed and written with one goal in mind: To make you LAUGH out LOUD. My promise to you, young reader-san, comes with this guarantee: Three solid lols or your download free.

Title: Greenhorn
Genre: Horror
Logline: A PTSD-afflicted Marine must fight for his own survival when he finds himself held captive in the Alaskan wilds by a family with a horrifying secret.
Why You Should Read: This script has done well in some notable contests and I’d like to see how it fares in the AOW battlezone. Clocking in at a lean and mean ninety pages, Greenhorn is crammed with GSU, moves at a swift pace and has the kind of deeply flawed hero an audience wants to root for. Thanks in advance for the reads.

While watching the press tour for this weekend’s A Silent Place, I noticed that one of the scenes they’re highlighting is (spoiler) when Emily Blunt’s character is forced to have a baby in dead silence. It’s that movie’s “That Scene,” the scene that everybody will be talking about after the movie. The concept of having a “That Scene” is more important than screenwriters realize. One great scene can be the difference between people talking about your movie afterwards or not. And if they’re not talking about it, they aren’t encouraging anybody else to see it. I’m not saying you can have a terrible script with one great scene and you’re saved. But I will say that an average script with a great scene in it could tip the scales and get you a sale. That’s because when a producer reads one great scene and imagines how awesome that scene would be in a theater? They’re willing to work on the rest of the script’s problems JUST SO they can get that scene in a movie.

The late Blake Snyder famously chronicled how That Scene got him the biggest break of his life – selling a script that nabbed the biggest movie star in the world at the time, Sylvester Stallone. The script, “Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot,” is about a tough cop who’s frail mother comes to stay with him. Snyder tells the story of how the producer thought the script was okay. But when he read the scene where the mom is at the wheel during a car chase and won’t go over 20 miles per hour, he knew he had a movie. It was Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot’s That Scene.

Now when I talk about That Scene, I don’t mean your big payoff scene. The big payoff scene is the scene where everything that’s been set up beforehand climaxes in one giant super-scene. A good example of this is the “It’s not your fault” scene in Good Will Hunting. In that movie, Will Hunting’s inner battle is built around repressing the memories of his abusive father. That’s what Sean (Robin Williams) is trying to get to the heart of in their therapy sessions. When Sean tells Will that his dad abusing him isn’t his fault, Will finally breaks down. “It’s not your fault,” Sean keeps repeating, with Will finally letting it all out. “It’s not your fault.” It’s a great scene, but it’s not That Scene. That Scene in Good Will Hunting is the showdown with the preppy Harvard prick at the bar which culminates in, “How do ya like them apples?”

So how do write one of these scenes? I’ve been thinking about this a lot. “A Quiet Place” is a good place to start, since it has the clearest path towards finding its That Scene. So the first thing you want to do is you want to ask, “What can I do with my concept that NO OTHER MOVIE CAN DO?” The reason you want to ask this question is because you’ll be more likely to find an original scene. A Quiet Place has such a specific concept (if the family makes a noise, the monsters can locate and kill them) that finding an original scene to take place inside that concept isn’t as difficult as if you were writing, say, The Post.

The other question you want to ask when trying to write a great scene is, “What’s the worst thing I can do to my character here?” If you can combine those two things in a clever way, you can come with a That Scene. So with A Quiet Place, you’d ask, what’s the worst thing I can do to a character in a situation where they can’t make a sound? And the answer to that question would be… duh duh duhhhh, force them to give birth! Of course, that idea is great in hindsight but probably tougher to come up with in the writing stage. What if, for example, in an early draft, the mother wasn’t pregnant? It’d be hard to think of having a baby. You’d need to come up with the pregnancy idea first before that idea came to you. This is why writing is hard. Sometimes the answers are two ideas away instead of one. And you can’t always see two steps ahead.

But then we move over to “How Do You Like Them Apples” and the same rules don’t quite apply. With that said, the first rule is still in play. What’s a scene that we could ONLY write into this movie? We’ve got a tough-as-nails genius janitor. What if he had a run-in with a bully Harvard student at a bar? A student who tries to display how much smarter he is than this townie, but the townie schools him? That fits the bill as a scene that’s specific to this concept. So it works! It also shows us that we don’t always have to apply the “what’s the worst thing I can do to my character” rule to still get “That Scene.”

Another way to create That Scene is by setting it up. But a “That Scene” needs a bit more firepower, so one setup won’t do it. You’ll need multiple setups and a payoff that’s humongous! The best recent example of this occurs in Spider-Man: Homecoming, when Peter Parker shows up to pick up his prom date, only to find out that her father is… the Vulture. You can see that this also applies the “What’s the worst thing I can do to my hero” rule. What’s the worst thing you can do to someone picking up their first love? Make their father your super-hero nemesis! It’s also pretty specific to the concept. You can only do something like this in a super-hero film.

Sicario is another reminder, however, that simply asking what you can do with your concept that nobody else can do can lead to a That Scene. The scene that still stands out to me when I read that script was the border shootout. Think about it. You’re writing a movie about Mexican drug cartels bleeding over the border into the U.S. In retrospect, it seems obvious that you’d want a scene to occur right at the border. Screenwriter Sheridan then asks, “What’s the worst thing I can do to these characters?” Have them get stuck in that border traffic buildup, and surround them on all sides with Cartel members who want to kill them. I’d never read a scene like that before.

Maybe the best version of giving us a scene that ONLY that concept could provide was the opening scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark. We see our archeologist hero do what he does best – secure treasure in a booby-trapped cave. What’s cool about this scene is that it’s one continuous series of “What’s the worst thing I can do to my hero?” moments. Every step of the way, something is trying to stop him from succeeding. Which is what makes the scene so exciting. The totality of Indy overcoming all these obstacles secures it in the That Scene pantheon.

To finish off, let’s look at the biggest That Scene of them all: the shower scene in Psycho. Here’s why I – at least partly – think that this scene is still talked about 60 years later. It takes the “What’s the worst thing I can do to my hero” rule further than it’s ever been taken before. They literally KILL the hero. The shock of that, combined with how brutal the murder itself is, is what made the shower scene a THAT SCENE.

So, to summarize, to find That Scene, you want to use one or both of these rules. 1) Give us a scene that could only happen inside your specific concept. 2) Ask, “What’s the worst thing I could do to my character at this moment?” Finally, you have to be creative. Sometimes the answer is right in front of you. But other times it’s two ideas ahead, like in A Quiet Place. So play around with some ideas, write a scene a few different ways, to find that magical moment that creates That Scene. Oh, and there’s no reason why you can’t have multiple That Scenes in your script. My favorite movie from last year, Good Time, has half-a-dozen That Scenes. But let’s start with one. Whatever script you’re working on now, spend a day trying to come up with a That Scene for it. Good luck!

Feel free to share your favorite That Scenes in the comments, along with why you think they became so iconic.

New script review below! Top 5 Black List script. Scroll down to read!

Any second now, you should be receiving a hot-off-the-presses Scriptshadow Newsletter! Today’s newsletter includes a sneaky secret spec review that may involve one of my favorite directors on the planet trying to pull a fast one on the industry.

If you’re on my mailing list and didn’t receive the newsletter, make sure to check your SPAM and PROMOTIONS folders. It should be in there. If you don’t see it there, feel free to e-mail me at Carsonreeves1@gmail.com with the subject line: “NEWSLETTER” and I’ll send it to you. If you’re not on my mailing list and want on, do the same. Send “NEWSLETTER” to the above e-mail. Enjoy the newsletter, guys!

Genre: Drama
Premise: (from Black List) A passenger and her cab driver reminisce about their relationships on the way from the airport to her apartment in New York.
About: Today’s screenplay finished NUMBER THREE OVERALL on last year’s Black List. The writer, while a newbie to the screenwriting world, does have two stage plays under her belt. That’s not surprising, since this script feels very much like a play and very much “New York.” I wouldn’t be surprised if Daddio also started as a play and Hall decided to transform it into a screenplay mid-draft. The script already has its female star in Daisy Ridley, who you all know as Rey in the new Star Wars movies.
Writer: Christy Hall
Details: 114 pages

Everyone who’s read this script and reported back to me has been underwhelmed. And I think I know why. There is NOTHING like this script anywhere. The whole story takes place in a cab, focusing on a conversation between an attractive female passenger and an attractive male cab driver, yet it’s NOT a romantic comedy. (spoiler) In fact, there’s no romance whatsoever. Nobody gets together with each other in the end. It’s just two people talking.

It’s for that reason that I found this script fascinating. I’ve never read anything like it. A single location male-female two-hander without romance that’s a drama?? You know what’s funny? This is exactly how the original Pretty Woman script started out. As a drama about a businessman who hires a prostitute for a week. It was the studio who decided to turn it into a romantic comedy. Could the same thing happen here?

Girlie (whose age is never mentioned but she’s around 30) has just landed back in New York City. She’s got a tough New York exterior with a distant hint of Southern hospitality. And right now she needs to catch a cab into the city.

Her cab driver, Clark, is a man’s man. In his 40s, he’s got a tough blue collar handsomeness about him. And you can tell he’s one of those cab drivers who likes to talk. For the first ten minutes, however, he’s stuck glimpsing at a distracted Girlie in the mirror, looking for any opportunity to open up the Conversation Shop.

Girlie, meanwhile, keeps glancing at a text conversation. Someone named “L” misses her. Can’t wait to see her. It’s hard to read how Girlie feels about this. She texts him back, but each text is neutral, the kind you can’t quite read. After awhile, she sours on the activity and Clark strikes, asking her what her deal is.

Girlie needs the distraction, and finds Clark funny. He’s one of those guys that when he starts talking, he doesn’t shut up. And the music of his endless monologues seems to calm Girlie. As Clark notices Girlie occasionally going back to that text conversation, he makes the correct assumption that the man texting Girlie is married.

What follows is a surprisingly honest discussion about how Girlie got into this relationship, and how all of her life choices up to this point probably led her here. Clark gets into the action too, admitting to a life that’s been less than fruitful – I mean, he’s driving a cab in his 40s for God’s sake. But he seems happy enough now. And part of him wants Girlie to be happy too at the end of this ride. Can it happen? Probably not. But he’s going to give it his best shot.

So a lot of you have told me that this script was lame, that it’s just two people talking. But as someone who reads more amateur scripts than anyone, I’m here to tell you that you could learn a thing or two from the dialogue in Daddio.

The first thing I noticed about the dialogue was how natural it was. Usually, in screenwriting, when scenes are 2-3 pages long, the dialogue needs to be laser focused. You have to get out any necessary exposition. Each character has to get to the point quickly so the scene doesn’t lag. It’s why so many screenplay conversations feel unnatural.

But Daddio is one long scene. This allows Hall to let the characters riff for longer than characters would normally do so, which, in turn, makes them sound more like real people. Because that’s how it is in real life. If you meet with someone at a coffee shop, you can chat each other up and the next thing you know, 30 minutes has gone by. Daddio found a conceptual loophole that allows it to get that same realism.

There’s some other things going on with the dialogue as well. The two characters have completely different speech patterns. Clark rambles on endlessly. Girlie chooses her words carefully. One of the best ways to write good dialogue is to create contrast in speech patterns between characters.

In addition to this, Clark swears a lot. Girlie never swears. Clark descends into slang a lot. Girlie speaks in proper English all the time. All of these things bring life to the interactions. To convey just how important this is, I was watching that Adam Devine Netflix Comedy that ripped off the Groundhog Day premise. In that movie, him and the girl sound like the exact same people. Their jokes are similar. Their speech patterns are similar. It makes their interactions less interesting.

On the structural end, whether Hall planned this or not, the film has a perfect ticking time bomb – the end of the ride. We know things are coming to an end when he drops her off. And even though there’s no true goal to the story (other than Clark trying to get Girlie to see that she shouldn’t be with this man), there’s a pervasive anxiety underneath the ride since we know it’s going to end soon. In other words, this movie doesn’t work if it’s set in a static location. The car ride is everything.

Another thing to keep in mind is that Daddio is a spec-friendly idea. It’s two characters, a car, and a destination. These are very easy to read scripts. Just like Beast (which I reviewed in the Newsletter). Just like this weekend’s The Quiet Place. Simple stories that don’t require a reader to keep notes. While I’ll still say to write the best idea you got, it improves your chances of getting more reads if the script is easy to read. Which Daddio is.

Finally, I applaud the writer for giving me an unexpected reading experience. Once I realized that I had no idea where this was going, I gained a lot of respect for the writer and allowed myself to be taken away. For example, our texter, “L,” is introduced as this scumbag who only cares about fucking Girlie. Naturally, then, Clark is going to be the good guy, right? The romantic? The guy Girlie SHOULD be with? NOPE! As the story progresses, it turns out Clark is even worse than the guy she’s texting! And that’s the rest of the script, too. Pretty much all the major beats you expect from a setup like this? The script goes in another direction.

And that leads me to my final FINAL thought. While I DID like the unexpected journey, I didn’t like where the journey ended. It made me feel like… not that I wasted 2 hours… but that more of a climax was needed. There’s a desire from some writers to stay as true to life as possible. And this is VERY true to life. But you gotta make us feel like we came all this way for something. And if that means tweaking the ending so it’s a little more “Hollywood,” I think you’ve got to do it. You never want anybody leaving the theater going, “That’s it?” And I’m afraid that’s what’s going to happen here.

[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[x] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: Beware the lure of “indie street cred” choices. These are choices that get you credit with industry folks. But that leave real moviegoers confused and frustrated. That frustration means bad word-of-mouth and a quick box office death. (spoiler) I’m not saying that Clark and Girlie had to end up together here. But the ending needed to be a lot bigger. For example, I thought Girlie was going to be dropped off at L’s house and we were going to have a 3-way final talk between these characters. Instead, Girlie is dropped off at her own house. And that’s it. That’s it??

Any second now, you should be receiving a hot-off-the-presses Scriptshadow Newsletter! Today’s newsletter includes a sneaky secret spec review that may involve one of my favorite directors on the planet trying to pull a fast one on the industry.

If you’re on my mailing list and didn’t receive the newsletter, make sure to check your SPAM and PROMOTIONS folders. It should be in there. If you don’t see it there, feel free to e-mail me at Carsonreeves1@gmail.com with the subject line: “NEWSLETTER” and I’ll send it to you. If you’re not on my mailing list and want on, do the same. Send “NEWSLETTER” to the above e-mail. Enjoy the newsletter, guys!