And Scriptshadow is going to help you do it!

Whenever I don’t know what picture to use, I use a picture of the greatest candy ever.

First of all, I want to wish everyone a happy new year. It’s going to be a fun year at Scriptshadow. I have a couple of tricks up my sleeve I’m eager to reveal in the coming months. I recently got this amazing idea to help writers better connect with agents and producers that I’m shocked it took me this long to think up. I’ll share that with you soon.

But I’m excited, most of all, about us bringing new stories into the world. Each year, a select few are fortunate enough to experience that surge of inspiration that enables them to craft a tale that resonates with a large portion of the populace. My wish is that this opportunity presents itself to as many of you as possible.

Initially, I had a plan where you were going to write two screenplays in 2024, one for yourself and one for the industry. The former would allow you to engage in a more personal journey without having to worry about marketability or popularity. The latter would allow you to write the ultimate industry script, the kind that managers, agents and producers go gaga over.

After a couple of dozen e-mails from you guys, I’ve decided that that’s not the way to go. Not enough of you were interested in locking yourselves down into an unmarketable screenplay. Which was inspiring to hear. It tells me that you’re in this game for the right reasons – to entertain people. You’re not here to stroke your own ego.

So we’re still going to write those two screenplays. But I’m no longer putting restrictions on them. Write whatever script you want. Every week, here on the site, I’ll act as your guide – pushing you forward to make sure you not only finish your script but finish with the best version of that script possible.

What’s the reward you get for all this? Two completed screenplays by the end of the year, thank you very much! The reason two is better than one is because every screenplay is a crapshoot. You don’t know if it’s going to suck or not. By writing two scripts, you double your chances of writing something good. I’m tired of watching writers spend 3 years of their lives pushing one script. You need options.

The other reward is Mega Showdown. We do Logline Showdowns every month here on the site. They go through the weekend. But, in this case, we’re going to do a gigantic week-long showdown at the end of each six months specifically for these two scripts. It’s going to be fun. You’ll need a good logline to get into the competition. But once you’re in, you’ll have a chance to get your first 5-10 pages published on the site so that people are voting on more than just an idea. They’re voting because they’ve been pulled into your story.

So, what’s your first assignment? Over the next two weeks, I want you to decide on the concept for your first script. Why two whole weeks? Because your concept is going to make your screenwriting journey either REALLY EASY or REALLY HARD for you. If you choose a strong concept, everything about this journey becomes a thousand times easier. I can’t emphasize that enough. It all starts with the concept.

A good concept also makes writing the script easier. Take “Bad Boy,” for example, the kick-ass script I just reviewed in the newsletter about a dog who ends up with a new owner (spoiler) who he comes to realize is a serial killer. That concept starts generating scenes before you’ve even started writing it. You can already see the scenes in your mind. You know the scene is coming where the dog first sees his owner kill a victim. You know you’ve got plenty of scenes where the most recent kidnapped victim will try and connect with the dog to help her escape. The concept is providing you with scenes.

If your concept is more passive or internal, such as the film, The Zone of Interest, I promise you you will be pulling your hair out trying to come up with scenes to write. So, I don’t just want you to come up with a marketable concept. I want you to come up with a concept that’s going to make the writing easy. It’s going to generate scenes for you.

We can use this post here to test out ideas. I would strongly recommend getting feedback. If nobody’s excited about your idea, don’t let your ego get in the way. Move on to a new idea. That’s what these two weeks are about. They’re about throwing stuff out there and seeing what sticks. Because you can go back and change characters that aren’t working in a script. You can go back and change weak plot points. You can rewrite bad dialogue twenty times over until you get it right. But the one thing you can’t go back and change is your concept. You’re locked into it. So make sure you’re ULTRA CONFIDENT about your script idea. Don’t wait until the Mega Showdown to find out your idea sucks.

I know some of you are not keen on posting your movie ideas on the internet. You can always test them on me, as well. It cost 25 bucks (carsonreeves1@gmail.com) but I’ll tell you where I rate the concept on a 1-10 scale, I’ll give you a little feedback, I’ll rewrite the logline for you, and I’ll tell you straight up if it has zero chance of being chosen. So don’t come to me if you’re looking for a pat on the back. I’m going to give you the harsh truth because I don’t want to send anyone down a six-month road that I know will lead to failure.

I can’t emphasize this enough, guys. The concept you choose is going to have the BIGGEST INFLUENCE on the reaction to your script of any other factor. And if you don’t believe that, revisit your reactions to every single movie you heard about in 2023. I’m guessing you had a strong immediate reaction when you saw those trailers. That’s because we judge movies on the strength or weakness of the idea. I want you to come into this ring with the best fighter possible.

Okay, have fun, and don’t be afraid to throw out a bunch of concepts. Sometimes it’s the ideas we DON’T think are going to resonate that resonate. You never know until you share them.

Let the writing begin!

Oh, what a most LOVELY newsletter you’re about to receive. We’ve got an IMPRESSIVE script that takes a simple premise and turns it into one of the fastest reads I’ve ever experienced. We’ve got my thoughts on the sneaky best movie of the year that I only saw AFTER I made my top 10 list. That one had an amazing screenplay as well. We’ve got a reminder that the best screenwriting requires SHOWING and not TELLING. I give you my thoughts on the trailer for the movie that has a chance at being the best movie of the year. I question whether the addition of Rebel Moon to Netflix’s library is the beginning of the end for the streamer. And I announce the January Logline Showdown! So much to celebrate. If you don’t receive my newsletter already, e-mail me at carsonreeves1@gmail.com and I’ll put you on. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Hope your Christmas was amaaaaaaazing. Now it’s time to hit 2024 running. The first four people who e-mail me – carsonreeves1@gmail.com – and mention the HOLIDAY DEAL get 4 pages of notes for half-price!! Your script does not have to be ready yet but you do have to pay now to get the deal.

In the interim, I’m trying to write a newsletter before the end of the year, mainly because I want to talk about how good Wonka was. This movie, and screenplay, were freaking amazing. It might even be number one on my Best Movies of 2023 list. I’m just too lazy to go back in there and move everything around. :)

I also want to theorize on whether this is the year Netflix becomes Blackberry. I’m not talking about the movie. I’m talking about Netflix following the same path of Blackberry, into oblivion. There are a couple of huge things happening in the industry this year that may precipitate the fall of the streaming giant.

Then, again, I’m also trying to clean my freaking place so it’s spic and span for the new year. So who knows which will take precedence (good news for Shadowers – when confronted with these challenges, writing for the site usually wins).

Oh, and thank you to everyone who contributed movie suggestions to my Top Movies of the Year post. The movies getting mentioned the most – and therefore you should check out this week – are…

Wonka (Carson pick)
Anatomy of a Fall
Saltburn
Sisu
Iron Claw
The Holdovers
The Equalizer 3

TALK TO YOU SOON!

Did Mario make the list???

I’ve got some devastating news for y’all.

This might be THE LAST POST OF THE YEAR.

Then again, maybe not. Maybe I get nostalgic and post something tomorrow. Or the next day. You never know with the wackadoodle running this site.

But I will say this. I’m excited to share my top 10 movies of the year. This year started out shaky but made a noble comeback towards the end.

I don’t want this to only be a thread discussing my favorite movies. I want you guys to discuss your favorite movies as well. I’m particularly interested in movies that weren’t on anybody’s radar. Collectively, we can come up with a handful of gems that we all get to watch over the holidays.

Before we get to the best movies of the year, I must mention the movies that fell outside my top 10. The biggest one is Oppenheimer. I thought it was an okay movie that fell apart when it rambled on for an extra 45 minutes after the bombing. Also, for a movie that spent its entire running time focusing on one person, I was shocked at just how little I knew about Oppenheimer when it was all over. With that said, I liked it better than Killers of the Flower Moon, which had an even weaker narrative structure.

Both Across The Spider-verse and Guardians 3 were solid superhero movies. But I had enough issues with each that they landed outside my Top 10.  Then there was another solid movie in John Wick 4.  But the director needs to learn that action movies are slim, not bulky.  A 110 minute version of John Wick 4 could’ve been awesome.

The Equalizer 3 was sneaky good and almost made my Top 10. I haven’t seen Napoleon. Air was pretty good but I was let down by Ben Affleck’s rushed direction. The script was much better. The Creator looked beautiful but Gareth Edwards desperately needs a writer. The film’s narrative and point were too muddled. I haven’t seen The Holdovers, Godzilla Minus One, or Saltburn, all of which, I’m assuming, would have had a shot at my Top 10.

Okay, are we ready for the DEFINITIVE Top 10 Movies list of the year? Let’s get to it.

NUMBER 10 – BARBIE
This is a shocker to some of you. It’s a shocker to me too. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized you can’t tell the story of 2023 Cinema without talking about Barbie. But it’s more than that. While I didn’t agree with the message of the film, I admire what the writers did from a screenwriting perspective. This may be the best example of writers infusing genuine depth into a studio film in over a decade. It is NOT EASY to do what Gerwig and Baumbach did. They made a mainstream movie with indie sensibilities and it resulted in the movie making MORE money than it would’ve if they went 100% mainstream. The character of Ken still resonates in me today. Gosling is iconic in the role. And you know what I think the secret sauce was here? This is the first time in forever that a studio made a big IP movie without a franchise in mind. Gerwig and Robbie just wanted to make a singular great film. Because they didn’t have to leave any open threads, they ensured that the movie stood on its own.

NUMBER 9 – THE KILLER

How bout that for a contrast in entries? The most feminist film of the year back to back with the most masculine film of the year. If that doesn’t prove that I have eclectic taste, I don’t know what does.  The Killer got some pushback when it came out and I’m still trying to figure out why. It was an awesome movie. Not only did it deconstruct the John Wick formula. But it was buoyed by the amazing direction of Fincher (that fight set piece was INSANE!). It felt nastier, grittier, and more realistic, than all these slick over-produced John Wick clones. And, as I covered in my review, I loved the way they sequenced out the scenes into mini-movies, all with their own beginning, middle, and end. I’m guessing people may have been expecting something more complex from Fincher and were therefore disappointed in the simplicity of The Killer. But I thought it was great.

NUMBER 8 – THE FLASH

I loooooooooved this movie. To me, this film is a prime example of media manipulation of the audience’s expectations. The media went above and beyond to make this movie feel “less than,” and, as a result, people went in with their 2-liter bottles of haterade and came out urinating those thoughts all over the internet. But if you distance yourself from the narrative and see this movie for what it is, it’s a really good movie. The main character is likable. The concept (two Flashes working together) is fun. Bringing in Batman added a whole other element of excitement into the mix. Literally the only thing wrong with the movie is that Warner Brothers stopped putting money into it when the PR went south. So you have these weird unfinished effects scenes. But that just goes to show how good the movie was – that it could withstand that. This is the best superhero movie of the year and it’s not even close.

NUMBER 7 – TALK TO ME

I think this movie taught me the secret to horror. It contains 3 steps. One – simple premise. In this case, a cursed hand that makes you see dead people. Two – make it scary. It’s obvious but make sure the scares are legitimate scares. I read too many horror scripts where the scares are unoriginal and tame. You gotta push the envelope and be legitimately scary. And three, put an actor or actress in the lead role who we love. The actress in this movie was amazing. She’s going to be a gigantic star. Something about her eyes pulled you in and didn’t let you go for the entire running time. The script has a few issues. The narrative isn’t the tightest. But it makes up for it in the direction and acting. It’s a really fun little movie.

NUMBER 6 – POOR THINGS

What surprised me the most about Poor Things was that I thought it was going to be a directing showcase only. That there would be no script to speak of. I was dead wrong. Like I pointed out in my review, the movie follows The Hero’s Journey to the T. It is as screenplay-ish a movie as there is on this list. It’s also a movie that takes a lot of chances and challenges some of the narratives in Hollywood right now, which I found refreshing. It’s almost like the anti-Barbie. Just like Barbie, it has an awesome male character, this time in Duncan, who may be the funniest character in any movie this year. Whenever he had one of his temper-tantrums, I couldn’t stop laughing. The subject matter is uncomfortable if you really start to think about it. But that’s the genius of this movie. You can watch it with your brain or you can watch it with your brain turned off and it works either way. Also, Emma Stone is amazing in the film. I can’t see any scenario where she doesn’t win the Oscar.

NUMBER 5 – DUMB MONEY

If you just want to have a good time with a movie, throw Dumb Money in. It’s such an unexpectedly fun flick. What’s weird about it is, I don’t even know if I’d call it a comedy. It may have invented a new genre. Cause it’s more “fun” than “funny.” So maybe it’s a funedy? Can we create that genre right now here on Scriptshadow? If it starts getting used everywhere, make sure to timestamp this. The movie is most effective at getting you invested emotionally because we can’t stand the fact that these rich corporations are laughing as they steal money from the regular folk. And when the regular folk finally figure out a way to win the game, the corporations change the rules. It’s infuriating. The Robin Hood CEO guy alone deserves to be publicly shamed for an entire year with what he did. If you get me to invest emotionally AND entertain me? I’m the happiest moviegoer in the world. Dumb Money is the biggest shocker on this list. I wasn’t expecting anything from it and I loved it.

NUMBER 4 – MISSING

For some reason, I’m obsessed with these screen-capture movies — movies that take place all on a computer screen. But the reason this one elevates itself above all the others is that it utilizes all the latest apps and technology you can use straight for your computer. For example, when June is trying to figure out where her mom is in Mexico, she hires a task-rabbit person through an app to go looking for her, giving her boots on the ground. This is something that just wasn’t available five years ago. I love when screenwriters do this – utilize new technology to create new story avenues. Cause otherwise, you have to compete with hundreds of years of ideas. The script also has one heck of a twist that I was shocked I didn’t see coming. But, in retrospect, I know why. It’s because the unique point of view (a computer screen) makes the viewer think in ways they wouldn’t normally think. Which allows you, as the writer, to use that against them. This is such an enjoyable little movie. I can’t recommend it enough.

NUMBER 3 – BLACKBERRY

I don’t know what I was expecting with Blackberry but awesomeness was not on the list. Except that’s exactly what was served. Even if you liked nothing about this story, it’s impossible not to get caught up in Glen Howerton’s performance. I don’t know if the Academy has the balls to nominate him.  He doesn’t fit what they’re looking for these days.  But they should. And guess what? The story’s pretty good too. “Blackberry” is the tech industry remake of Titanic. We all know what happens to Blackberry. It hits an iceberg. So we have this dramatically ironic omniscient point-of-view which allows us to squirm in our seats as all the decisions are being made to position the company into being a global powerhouse.  “Take Apple more seriously!” we scream. But they ignore us.  Side note: If you can get your audience to yell at the screen, you’ve won.  I love it when writers make cautionary tales fun. Cause most cautionary tales are just sad. This was fun because the supporting characters (especially Matt Johnson, who plays the co-founder) are so zany.  And Howerton chews up so much scenery he gains ten pounds by the end of the film. Blackberry is like the cousin to Dumb Money. If you’re feeling down, throw these two in for a double-feature and I guarantee you’ll be smiling for the rest of the day.

NUMBER 2 – FLORA AND SON

There isn’t a more feel-good movie this year than Flora and Son. John Carney is my new hero. He recognized that studios have spent the last five years making these divisive movies that piss half the audiences off. He realized that there was a market for making a movie for everyone. Flora and Son is about family. It’s about music. It’s about never giving up. It’s about trying new things. It’s about love. To be fair, a lot of movies try to be about these things. But what sets this film apart is Flora. Flora is a great character. Cause here’s the thing. When you make feel-good movies, the goal is not to make everything in the movie happy-happy. That’s not how you make people feel good. You have to show people the dark side in order for them to appreciate the light. There’s this early uncomfortable scene where Flora, who’s hired a hot online male guitarist from America to teach her guitar, listens to a song of his where he bares his soul.  Afterwards, she asks him to sing it again, but this time with his shirt off. In other words, Flora is not perfect. She has some learning to do. But that’s what good movies are about. They’re about characters who learn.  Who change. Watching Flora change into this better version of herself was the best character journey I watched all year. And, even if you don’t buy into any of that, it’s still a fun feel-good movie that’s perfect Christmas viewing.

NUMBER 1A – WONKA

The reason this is 1a is because I didn’t see it until after I made this list and, therefore, had to fit it in.  Because it’s THAT GOOD OF A MOVIE.  I’m not saying this so I could look like the cool film Cinephile who likes films that are overlooked.  This film blew me out of the water with how great the characters were, how simple the plot was, how elegantly that plot was executed.  Here’s how good this film is.  Timothee Chalamet, even though he’s got that one-in-a-million onscreen presence, isn’t over-the-moon good as Willy Wonka.  And still the film is amazing.  I can’t remember the last time I’ve watched a film where THIS MANY CHARACTERS popped.  Every single character stands out.  A lot of people will ask if it’s as good as the original.  Probably not……… but it sure is close.  Just because of the screenplay and characters alone.  It’s that impressive.

NUMBER 1 – FULL TIME

Full Time is an extremely simple movie. It’s about a mother who lives in the Paris suburbs who is hanging onto her hotel maid job in the city while raising two kids by herself.  Then the train workers go on strike, preventing her from having an easy way into the city. Over the course of the next few days, this complication creates a chain of events that leaves her on the brink of losing everything. I’ve passively mentioned this movie a couple of times and a few of you pushed back, saying it was boring. I can’t imagine anyone thinking this movie was boring. You have all the Scriptshadow screenwriting staples in play. A main character we love because all she’s trying to do is support her family. She’s taken advantage of at work, which makes us like her even more. She tries to secure a better job, at the expense of losing this one. In other words, she’s an ACTIVE character. She’s not just passively waiting for the world to throw bad things at her. The stakes are enormous. She could lose her house if she gets fired. Her and her kids could be on the street. But the movie’s biggest advantage is its urgency. Every – Single – Day is a race. Cause she’s trying to get to work. If she’s not on time, she’ll get fired. So we always feel this desperation in the narrative. And that’s what I was most impressed by. It’s one thing to create tons of urgency in a movie about terrorists or superheroes or asteroids. For a writer to create this much urgency out of a woman just trying to get to work? That’s what blew me away. Not only creating that level of real-world urgency. But making us FEEL IT. The craziest thing is, I wouldn’t have even heard of this movie if my parents didn’t recommend it. I’m supposed to be on top of things. It just goes to show that there are gems out there. Which is why I now leave the voting in your hands. What gems did you find in 2023??

Scriptshadow turns to its own for today’s screenplay review, the runner-up in the November Logline Showdown! The Equalizer meets Nosferatu.

Genre: Horror/Action
Logline: An elderly shop owner in San Francisco’s Chinatown sacrifices himself to become a goeng-si–a Chinese hopping vampire–so that he can get revenge against the gangsters terrorizing his neighborhood.
About: Today’s script finished SECOND in the November Logline Showdown to The Mentor, losing to the therapy thriller by just a single vote!
Writer: Mark Steensland
Details: 95 pages

There were lots of fans of this logline.  And since it was one of the more unique concepts I’ve seen on Logline Showdown, I had to review it.

72 year old Dai, a shop owner in Chinatown who sells special papers that you burn to connect with your ancestors, is running out of time. He’s got cancer of the lungs and it’s bad enough where he can’t hide it from his family anymore.

His granddaughter, 18 year old Susan, informs her father, Chen, and mother, Zhu, that grandad is ignoring his deteriorating health. Unfortunately, the family has other pressing issues to deal with. Three gangsters – Fang, Bin, and Ko – are demanding more money for “protection” of their shop. When Chen hems and haws, they slice his arm and say they’ll be back tomorrow.

The family tries to tell the cops but when Officer Poole comes by, he erases their security footage and encourages them to pay up. He’s obviously working with the gang. They’re all part of a bigger mafia outfit run by a dude named Han.

Dai realizes that, since he’s going to die anyway, he might as well go out with a bang. An old Chinese folk tale suggests that if you hold your breath while you’re dying, you turn into a goeng-si, a hopping vampire. So Dai confronts the gang and Officer Poole, forcing them to shoot him dead. He then holds his breath and turns into a hopping vampire.

Chen knows how the hopping vampire lore works. You can use something called a “fu” to place on their forehead to freeze them. This is what he does to his father. But Dai is still able to get away and kills the three gang members. This sets off a panic in Han’s operation except nobody inside the outfit can fathom that hopping vampires really exist.

When Susan recruits her boyfriend to take down the last member of the group – Officer Poole – she gets in over her head and Han kidnaps her. This forces Chen to make a trade with the mafia boss, a trade that will include an enraged Dai, who wreaks havoc on Han’s operation.

All us readers want is for you to give us a script that’s the same but different.

Is that too much to ask?

I, of course, ask this question tongue-in-cheek, because the age-old request is one of the most self-contradicting in existence. Nobody really knows what it means.

But if there was a concept that encapsulated this request, A Chinese Vampire Story would be it. We all know what vampires are. So that’s “the same” part. But we’ve never heard of a Chinese-hopping vampire. That’s the “different” part. Voila. You’ve now given Hollywood exactly what it wants.

The only catch is that “the different” part must be conceptually strong. I could make a romantic comedy with a fork and a spoon as the lead characters and call it “the same but different” but, conceptually, it’s too weird of a premise for anybody to care. So there is some nuance to this request. You have to find that “difference” that connects with the reader. A Chinese Vampire Story achieves that.

Kudos to Mark for doing something else I always say on this site: KEEP YOUR STORY SIMPLE. This script is as simple as it gets. Bad people are robbing struggling people of their hard-earned money and, therefore, we want to see them go down. That “going down” part comes in the form of a Chinese Hopping Vampire.

It’s not just the simplicity in the plot that I like. It’s the simplicity in how Mark gets the reader invested. One of the easiest ways to get readers invested is to stir up their emotions. You can do this in a positive way. You can do it in a negative way. However you do it, once we’re stirred up emotionally, WE CARE. If we care, we want to turn pages.

One of the easiest ways to stir up emotion is to create characters the reader likes then have bad characters take advantage of them. It’s such a simple formula yet so effective. When Fang, Bin, and Ko are stealing the hard-earned money of our struggling family, we are angry, and therefore committed, to seeing them go down.

Enter our Chinese Hopping Vampire. This is the script’s “strange attractor,” – the unique thing the reader is intrigued by and wants to learn more about. The Chinese Hopping Vampire attacks by hopping (obviously). All hopping vampires are blind. So they hunt by smelling peoples’ breath. Therefore, the only way to avoid an attack is to hold your breath.

The way to kill off a hopping vampire is to stuff sticky rice in their mouths. Which is how Chen kills Fang, Bin, and Ko when they become hopping vampires.

While I liked this script, I thought it could’ve done a few things better. For starters, we’ve got a main character problem. Who’s the main character here? It starts off being Dai. Then the implication is that it’s Susan. But then it’s Chen who commits to taking out the vampires. Then it’s Susan again, who wants to kill off the cop.

Yeah, you can call it an ensemble piece and jump from character to character if you want. But this feels like the kind of movie that needs an official lead. Go with Chen or Susan, whichever character you feel is more complex and interesting.

The biggest missed opportunity is not leaving one of the gang members (Fang, Bin, and Ko) alive as a hopping vampire. If you had a villain hopping vampire running around along with a ‘hero’ hopping vampire, there are more opportunities for things to get interesting, most notably having a vampire showdown at the end.

I also felt that Mark could’ve done more with the breath-holding stuff. I’m imagining a scene like the kids stuck in the kitchen with the velociraptors in Jurassic Park. Put our characters in a similarly confined room with Fang the Hopping Vampire, and make them hold their breath for a full three minutes as he sniffs around. That scene writes itself.

Finally, the second half of the script isn’t as good as the first half and that can’t be the case. The script loses something when all the gang members are killed. I think the solution is to give Officer Poole a partner – so there are two bad guys we still want to kill after the gang members die. And, also, make the Chinese Mafia Boss a much bigger personality in the script. He’s our top dog and, supposedly, the guy we should want to kill the most. But we barely know him so we don’t care. He needs to be more present and more evil.

Having said all that, this is a movie. I have no doubt about it. The writer needs to put his foot on the gas more. But if he can do that, I see no reason why this script couldn’t sell.

Oh! One more thing. This script needs a cold open. Start 200 years ago and show a hopping vampire do something crazy in a shadowy sequence. Or show a murder scene and when they open the person’s mouth, it’s filled with sticky rice, which creates mystery going forward.

Script link: A Chinese Vampire Story

[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[x] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: Be careful about killing the villains we hate the most too early in your script. Once we feel that satisfaction, we’re not as invested in the story. Either keep one of the thugs alive, make Poole a lot worse, or make the mafia boss the worst guy ever. That way we’re still highly engaged and want our heroes to take these guys down.