In case you missed it, it’s Double Post Monday! Yeah, you heard that right. Two posts for the price of one. I reviewed Paranormal Activity so if you’re interested in hearing my reaction, scroll down or click here. If you want my twitter (“Twitter” is now a verb used to describe anything quickly) on it, I thought it was a solid scary movie that’s worth the hype. Roger doesn’t have time for such trivial shakey-cam endeavors though. He’d much rather review the long-rumored but never filmed Arnold Schwartzenegger project, “Crusade.” I remember when Harry from AICN would have weekly updates on this script. Now you get a chance to actually read it for yourself. Take it away Roger…

Premise: A prisoner who is set to die is freed when he fakes a miracle during a visit by the Pope, and is drafted to recapture Jerusalem.
About: In the summer of 1994, the film was weeks from starting production under the helm of Paul Verhoeven, with sets being built in Spain and Morocco when Carolco’s Mario Kassar pulled the plug because the budget was topping $120 million. Because Schwarzenegger had a pay-or-play deal, he walked away with ownership of the project and Carolco gambled on Cutthroat Island, which had a budget of $115 million. It only made $10 million, landing it in the Guinness Book of World Records for biggest box office flop of all time and bankrupting Carolco Pictures. There’s a lesson in there somewhere, and I’m guessing an old-fashioned compare and contrast session with each script could yield us much wisdom. Or maybe, we need only ask ourselves, who the fuck says ‘No’ to Arnold?
Writer: Walon Green. Revisions by Gary Goldman.

One of my favorite filmmakers is Sam Peckinpah and one of my favorite films is The Wild Bunch. So much so that I probably drive my co-writer mad whenever we hit a narrative bump and I break the silence with, “Well, in The Wild Bunch…”

So it was a delight for me to read a script by Walon Green. There’s lots to learn from a man who is known for his remorseless sense of structure, his byzantine attention to detail, and his palpably-drawn characters.

Walon Green.

The Wild Bunch.

Sorcerer.

WarGames.

And also…Crusade.

Isn’t Crusade the fabled Arnold Schwarzenegger project where his enemies stitch him into a live donkey?

Fuck yeah, it is. But it’s more like Han shoving an unconscious Luke into the carcass of a Tauntaun, except substitute Han for angry Saracens and Tauntaun for a dead donkey that’s hanging from a spit surrounded by hungry hyenas. But this is just one scene that’s sure to offend special interest groups worldwide, and we have so much more (awesomely) loathsome ground to cover.

The opening title credits are no slouch. It’s 1095 A.D. and we meet a rider named Hagen who proceeds to rob a French Abbey during vespers. In the Abbot’s chambers, it’s more like a bacchanal than a prayer service, where the main course is prepubescent acolyte boy-flesh. If that’s not enough to ruffle your conservative feathers, consider the soundtrack of pan-pipes and lutes.

Long story short, Hagen is caught red-handed and the Abbot sends for Count Emmich of Bascarat, whom we meet raping a pubescent peasant girl in a vat full of grape slime. “Closer to bone the sweeter the meat,” after all, and we are introduced to his villainous entourage who may or may not die horrible deaths at the hands of Hagen (against the backdrop of two civilizations at war) later on.

Here’s the lowdown: Hagen’s inheritance has been stolen from him by Emmich, his half-brother. So rather than serve as this douchebag’s serf, he would rather be a thief. Only problem is, the acquisitive Abbot agrees to keep Emmich’s dirty little secret for a quarter of his estate, in exchange for hanging Hagen.

What gives? Hagen can’t die. Doesn’t he have to fight in the Crusades first?

You betcha. Hagen’s scaffold is struck down when emissaries from the Vatican arrive, heralding the arrival of papal hype-master, Pope Urban II. He spins a tale about a city named Jerusalem, a forlorn place where nuns are ravaged by Moslems and where Christians live in fear and slavery. He urges his crowd to listen to the voices of the martyrs, to take up arms and free Jerusalem from the blackamoors.

He promises remission from all sin and eternal salvation to those who die in battle…and to their families. If people aren’t convinced yet, Pope Urban II guarantees a holy sign to confirm that this war is God’s will.

What’s the sign?

I’d rather not spoil it, but let’s just say that Hagen, not content with merely having his execution date postponed, fakes a miracle from his jail cell with the help of his cell-mate, Ari, a comedic and resourceful shyster.

When it comes to survival, Ari is a great guy to have on your side. Just like in Entourage.

And before we know it, Hagen is pardoned and he’s marching off to the Holy Lands with the rest of The Pope’s Army.

Hagen is the official mascot of Christendom’s war against Islam.

Unfortunately, he is relegated under the command of his d-bag brother, Count Emmich, rather than the knight known as Godfrey of Bouillon, a blind idealist who at least has less scandalous intentions than Emmich.

But don’t worry, Hagen’s situation improves when he royally fucks up his stepbrother’s face in a dispute involving the intentioned rape of Jewish newlyweds who have strayed too close to the army of Crusaders.

Hagen’s not one to sit around and watch his dickcheese brother violate a bride in front of her husband (or at all). Obviously, the deal breaker is that Emmich opts to “protect” his head with a “pot helm”, and Hagen decides to use his brother’s armored head for batting practice with his axe-handle. A combat faus pax? You be the judge. But a fair warning, the description detailing what happens when a blacksmith removes Emmich’s pot helm leaves nothing to the imagination.

Emmich may have lost the battle, but he’s in this for the long run. In a scheme that would make Machiavelli proud, he sells Hagen and Ari to Moslem slavers. So, we’re treated to a cool sea-faring sequence where Hagen and Ari attempt to commandeer the ship they’re on to escape the Saracen corsair. There’s some decapitations and some swash-buckling, but the fun and games ultimately end in manacles.

Except not for Ari. Who speaks enough Arabic to convince the slavers that he’s actually a Moslem that was captured by the Christians.

Things look grim for Hagen.

They get nut-chopping grim when Hagen witnesses another captor get castrated by a cold-as-ice Moslem surgeon and his assistant. And right when Hagen’s member is put on the butcher’s block, Ari dramatically strides in like the best of double-agents and rescues him. Like I said, when it comes to survival, or avoiding the fate of eunuch, Ari is a great guy to have on your side.

How is Ari able to be so convincing?

Ari’s uncle is counselor to Ibn Khaldun, the Moslem Prince. Hagen is to be trained as a royal guardsman. We learn that Crusaders have besieged Antioch, and the only “safe” window for Hagen to escape will open when they march on Jerusalem. Essentially, he’s forced to blend into his surroundings.

It’s in Jerusalem that Hagen learns the truth.

The city is truly a mélange of three faiths where Jews, Christians and Moslems can worship freely.

It is also in Jerusalem where Hagen falls in love with Leila, the daughter of Ibn Khaldun. While Hagen and Leila play cat-and-mouse fuckgames, in which Leila vicariously experiences Hagen’s sexual prowess through her odalisque, Sheba, Emmich rises to power and influence among the Crusaders in Antioch.

In a city that’s stripped of food, what will the starving Crusaders have for their victory feast? According to Emmich, it’s people. “I see no shortage of meat in Antioch. I see ewes that carry ample flesh and tender lambs still fattening at the nipple.” A ghastly stew is prepared for the Christian army, and the soldiers pledge their loyalty to Emmich with their grateful spoons.

Meanwhile meanwhile, the Moslem leaders discuss the possibility of protecting Jerusalem’s walls with archers from Damascus. The plot thickens as we learn that the reluctant Damascan leader is a selfish prick who will only share his army if he can marry Leila. Ibn Khaldun muses that perhaps they can reason with the Crusaders, maybe even attain a truce.

The story kicks into high gear when the Crusaders reach Jerusalem’s walls and Ibn Khaldun sends Leila to her brother’s estate in Nablus, with Hagen as escort. An assault on the royal entourage segues into the infamous donkey scene.

But what about the big war sequence we’ve all been waiting for?

It’s pretty fucking cool. It’s a third act ball-buster that injects some much-needed momentum for those who grew tired of the Moslem girlfriend stuff.

There are some startling images here. Hagen, berserker-fighting through a sea of battle, armed with a scythe that he uses to cut through the ankles of Moslem soldiers. Hagen, his silhouette projected onto a wall of smoke, back-lit by the setting sun, singlehandedly fighting off hordes of men, the tableau rallying the fleeing Crusaders to get back into the fight.

The battle spills into the siege of Jerusalem, and I ain’t gonna lie, it’s grisly.

But the best part, and probably the most resonant, is a scene involving the One True Cross in the Holy Sepulchre. It’s a disarming sequence that cuts through all of Hagen’s war-time survival profiteering and points at a higher power. It’s good stuff.

Crusade has an amazing attention to detail in it that points to an older, tougher era of screenwriting. With today’s “modern” scripts, I can breeze through them in an hour or two. Not so with this one. I was forced to slow down, to pay attention, to savor the words.

This script makes “Medieval” look fucking clownish in comparison. And “Medieval” is a script I like (I’m sorry I’m not sorry, I have doubts about “Predators” after hearing the plot. It’s not “Aliens” to “Alien”. It’s a coin-op arcade game a company like Midway would have made back in the mid-90s.)

It might be blasphemous to say it, especially considering the two iconic characters Schwarzenegger is known for (The Terminator and Conan), but I think Hagen could have been his greatest role. It’s not only iconic, it has a depth to it that transcends the epic breadth of the background story. It’s an underdog story of redemption set against the historical conflict of The Crusades.

I felt there might have been too much exotic girlfriend and not enough holy war, but what the hell, it ties into Hagen’s conflict with Emmich. Which is the overarching theme to Crusade. Redemption. And isn’t that what all redemption stories are about? A man trying to regain his inheritance, a man trying to re-seize a mantle lost? Quim just sweetens that redemptive pot, amirite?

[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] barely kept my interest
[ ] worth the read
[x] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: The next time you’re lost in your own character arcs without a thematic compass, just remember what Conan said: The best things in life are to kill your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.

Seriously, when it comes to movies about men with swords, everything else is icing on the cake.

Yeah yeah, I know. I’m not supposed to review movies. However Paranormal Activity is unique. First, there isn’t a script (well, technically there isn’t) which means the movie is the script. So I *am* reviewing the script. Heh heh. But also, I have a feeling this movie’s going to be talked about a lot in the coming weeks and I wanted to get my opinion out there. So enjoy my review of…Paranormal Activity.

I have to say I was a little disappointed when the first scene of 2009’s descendant of camera shakey fakey cinema, Blair Witch, came onscreen. When I originally heard about Paranormal Activity a few years ago (after it debuted at some popular film festival) I thought it was a slam dunk idea. Except the idea I heard was different from the one I watched tonight. I’m not sure if I got bad information or they switched out all the old stuff and reshot new stuff, but the idea I heard was that a couple starts experiencing strange things in their house, so they set up video cameras in every room to record any anomalies over the course of the next month.

Well *this* Paranormal Activity axed that idea in favor of the characters operating a single camera during the course of the story. The reason this is a problem is you make things exponentially harder on the believability scale when you put your characters in life-threatening situations and the first thing they think of to do (because it’s the only thing you *can* do if you want a movie) is to grab the video camera. Oh! What’s that? It’s a demon sounding monster in the next room! Let’s go grab the video camera and check it out! Sure, you’re not going to get any of those nice close-ups using the multiple-camera set-up, but it’s sure going to be a lot more believable.

That said, Paranormal Activity does about as good a job as you can making those moments work. There were only a couple of times when my overly critical eyes rolled and I went, “No way.” But the audience around me (which I’m pretty sure at least 70% of thought the movie was real) didn’t bat an eye.

Another surprising component to this production was the actors. Playing “100% real life” without being able to lean on the funny crutch (like “The Office” for instance) is just about the hardest thing an actor can do. No matter how realistic you are, the fact that you’re trying to hit plot points and set up payoffs and improvise dialogue – those just aren’t things you have to worry about in the real world so it’s inevitable you’re going to come off as “fake” sooner or later. Yet I was pleasantly surprised by both these actors. The girl was just your average girl in a relationship – no bells and whistles, nothing special – just how you want her to come off. And the guy’s machismo act, which started off shaky, really grew on you, particularly because it was essential to the story.

The strength of the story is obviously the bedroom scenes, where the camera is propped up on a tripod and records the couple sleeping (as well as the hallway seen through the open door) as we sit in our seats helplessly wondering what the hell is going to happen next. The paranormal moments are tiny at first – a door moving, a sheet rustling – but they get progressively worse. And worse and worse and worse. I have to admit that I was captivated the entire time, both by the story and wondering what the filmmakers were going to come up with next that we hadn’t seen in scary movies before. And that’s pretty much where Paranormal Activity has such an advantage. Because the setup and direction of this story are so unique, we don’t have any blueprint to guide us. We’re not sure where the scares are going to come from. We’re not sure how this story ends.

There are a couple of moments though that are hard to buy. The “writers” smartly identified that they needed a way to keep the characters in the house so they came up with a storyline that whatever this “presence” is, it’s been following the girl around her whole life. So they *could* go somewhere else, but it would just end up following them. Yet there’s a moment late in the movie where it’s just not believable in any capacity that they wouldn’t get the hell out of there. I’m being deliberately vague because this is the kind of movie that preys on your ignorance. And make no mistake, you will be preyed upon.

Paranormal Activity is pretty much that “dream idea” every independent director/producer is looking for. It’s simple, it’s smart, and it’s entertaining. This film lives up to the hype and I encourage all of you to see it before Halloween. :)

[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] barely kept my interest
[ ] worth the read
[x] impressive
[ ] genius

note: Know that you are going into SPOILER TERRITORY in the comments section…

Genre: Drama
Premise: Two best friends who live on the small island of Corsica choose different paths in life, one as an honest working man, the other as a gangster.
About: This was the second rated script on The Brit List. Neil Purvis and Rob Wade wrote Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace. Corsica is the fourth biggest island in the Mediterranean Sea. Napolean Bonaparte was born there.
Writer: Neil Purvis and Rob Wade

So I’ve been reading through this Brit List the last few days and I have to say I’m a bit disappointed. A lot of these scripts have their share of strengths, but I’m yet to find one that’s consistently good all the way through. There’s been some discussion in the comments section that the Brit List is mirroring the The Black List and becoming more a marketing tool than an honest assessment of the best scripts of the year. I would hate for that to be the case (with both lists) but I guess on some level it was inevitable. The same thing happened with Sundance. If you had a mess of a film applying for entry but it had Robert DeNiro and Ed Norton in it, are you really going to say no to a couple of academy award winning actors? The Brit List does sort of read like a “Here’s what all the top UK writers are working on now” rundown. The argument for the list would be that the number one script is by a relative unknown, right? I mean, how would George Kay have any power in getting his script to the top of the heap (or is George Kay super famous in the UK?)? It should also be noted that scripts by lesser-known writers aren’t going to get into as many voters’ hands. I’m going to try to get through this thing but it’s hard mustering up any enthusiasm at this point. I need a script to get me excited again. For your enjoyment, I’ve listed the premises of the Brit List scripts I know about:

Anthony Belcher – The unluckiest man in the world is offered seven free days of perfect luck.
Corsica 72 – Two best friends who live on the small island of Corsica choose different paths in life, one an honest life, the other, a life of crime. (Godfather on an island?)
Now Is Good – A 17 year old girl dying of cancer creates a dark bucket list, then meets a boy she falls in love with. (A bit too “A Walk To Rememberish” maybe?)
Salmon Fishing In The Yemen – A henpecked civil servant is sent to introduce salmon to the Yemen. (High praise for Beaufoy but is this not the most unappealing title in the history of movies?)
Best Exotic Marigold Hotel – Don’t know much about this one other than that it seems to take place in an old folk’s home. (How can this be better than Winter’s Discontent?)
I Wish I Wish – A stuck-up beautiful wife who’s had everything handed to her in life, joins the “Make A Wish” Foundation for dying children, and starts to fall for the father of one of the children. (teenagers dying wasn’t enough. Now we have to take out the children)
Conviction – An adaptation of the 2004 BBC TV crime series. Two police officer brothers cross the line while investigating the murder of a 12 year old girl.
Eurovision – A project for Working Title from “Bruno” and “Borat” writer Dan Mazer, focusing on the bizarre ritual of the Eurovision song contest, an annual festival of kitsch… This would not be a faux-documentary, but rather a more traditional movie.
Under the Skin – Hitchhikers in Scotland are abducted by aliens. (I’ll be reading this next)
Grabbers – A comedy-horror set in Ireland, in the vein of “Tremors” and “Gremlins,” from a first time writer. (it actually surprises me that more movies like Gremlins haven’t been made)
Red Circle – A remake of Jean-Pierre Melville’s classic crime film, “Le Cercle Rouge.”
A Trap For Cinderella – A woman survives a house fire but is burnt beyond recognition. (Hmm, this one sounds particularly uplifting)
What Was Lost – A shopping center is haunted by a 10 year old girl. (This might be one to save for Halloween Week).

Cosica 72 is one of the better scripts I’ve read from this year’s list but it’s not without its faults. It follows best friends Marco and Sauveur, who lived on the Mediterranean island of Corsica in the 1970s. They’re on the cusp of adulthood and about to go their separate ways. For Sauveur, that entails a simple life on the island. For Marco, it means joining his Uncle Luis in the mafia. Before they split up though, they both fall in love with the same girl, the stunning Lucia. Marco is the brave one, diving head first into the battle for her heart. But it’s Sauveur who wins the war, mainly because Lucia detests the violent ways of the mafia.

Cut to a few years later. Sauveur and Lucia are happily married. Sauveur is about to start his own business. He begins building on his location of choice, but receives a visit from Marco informing him that he’s required to check in with Luis before building on the island. The land isn’t Luis’, of course, so Sauveur doesn’t see how he has to check in with anyone. He ignores Marco’s warning and, as a result, Luis sends a couple of his henchman to scare Sauver’s younger brother. The henchman screw up and end up killing him by accident. Sauveur is enraged but can do nothing. To make matters worse, his manhood is questioned by Lucia, and when it’s clear that he’ll be perceived as the Island wuss unless he does something, he decides to rock some vigilante justice and murders the two men who killed his brother.

This puts Don Luis in a tough position. If he dosen’t kill Sauveur, he’ll be looked at as weak. So he signs his death warrant, putting Marco in an incredibly awkward position, as he doesn’t want to kill his friend. Before the matter can be resolved, Sauveur flees to the nearby forest, where he begins living a life of exile, looking forward to occasional secret visits from his wife. When Luis starts killing members of his family though, Sauveur is forced to become the very entity he despises – a Don of his own. So he begins ordering his own killings from the forest. A tit-for-tat string of murders begins, which further complicates Sauver’s, Marco’s, and Lucia’s relationship, and pushes them to an inevitably bloody conclusion.

The writing here is great. There’s lots of conflict. There’s lots of intrigue. The stakes are high for all the characters. The characters themselves are rich and well-developed. As a script, it’s a very fine piece of writing. I just couldn’t get past a couple of things. This whole idea of Sauveur racing up into the forest and living there for half the script…it just seemed, for lack of a better word, silly. Not only that but it took our main character away from the action. Also , I couldn’t for the life of me understand Lucia’s reaction to Sauveur not standing up for himself. I thought her whole thing was the mafia was bad because of its violence. So why would she support a retaliatory killing? Especially since it sends her husband into the forest for the rest of his life. I had a really hard time getting over that rationale. Though I guess this is based on a true story so the real Lucia actually made that decision. Either way, it was a choice that confused me on her motivation, and ultimately made me not like her very much.

In the end you gotta take this review with a grain of salt. I’m not a huge fan of mafia movies. I liked but never loved the Godfather films. To me, Goodfellas is the cream of the crop in this genre, and it feels like every mafia movie I watch pales in comparison. So I have a feeling that even if this script was perfectly written, I’d still grumpily point out its faults. It’s still the best I’ve read so far behind Anthony Belcher though.

[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[x] barely kept my interest
[ ] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: I think for me personally, I don’t like when my main character is away from the action. I always find it more interesting when he’s down there in the thick of it. If you can, keep your protagonist where all the action is at. I meant that’s where the meat of your movie is, right?

Genre: Comedy
Premise: One of the unluckiest men alive is given seven days of perfect luck.
About: This is the number 1 script on “The Brit List,” which is the UK’s answer to “The Black List.” This appears to be Kay’s big break, as he only has one other property in development, the optioned “All Quiet On The Orient Express.” The director of that film, Jim Field Smith, will also be directing “Good Luck, Anthony Belcher.” Smith’s previous work includes, “She’s Outta My League,” a spec sale which I read last year and thought was pretty damn funny. That movie has not yet hit theaters.
Writer: George Kay

The Brits know how to capitalize on a trend. They saw the Black List and realized, “Hey, we can do one of those.” It took them a couple of years to actually organize the thing but low and behold, two years ago The Brit List was born. I have to admit, the list has its work cut out for it at Scriptshadow. That’s because 2007’s number one script was “The Men Who Stare At Goats.” And we all know how I felt about that script (The goal in a screenplay is to push the story forward. If you can’t do that, at least keep it standing in place. Goats somehow manages to pull the story backward). So to say I’m going into this list with a skeptical eye is an obscene understatement. But I will strive to give my brothers across the pond a fair shake. So as I slide my objective glasses up, it’s time to go to work on “Good Luck, Anthony Belcher.”

Anthony Belcher is an air conditioning salesman who’s riddled with bad luck. His sales are anemic. He always misses the bus. He never gets the girl. His parents died when he was young. To give you an idea of just how bad it is for Anthony, he is the only man in the world who’s been shit on by a bird. INDOORS. One day, Anthony’s lured to an old house, goes up a strange elevator (or, I’m sorry, a “lift”) that’s straight out of a Charlie Kaufman movie. Once in the attic, he meets a couple of scraggly old men. They introduce themselves as The Society Of Good Luck and Serendipity – in charge of luck, fate, kismet, karma, what have you. It appears that Anthony’s file was dropped behind a desk and lost for the last 27 years, which means they haven’t been able to balance out his luck.

As an act of good faith, they’ve decided to make up for their mistake by giving Anthony 7 full days of perfect luck. There are a few conditions of course. He can’t play the lottery (the winners have been predetermined for the next 13 years) and he has to go about his life in a somewhat normal fashion (he still has to go to work everyday, etc.) Clearly these are conditions to keep the story from going off the rails, and they stick out as so, but these kind of conventions are acceptable in high concept comedies as long as you don’t go overboard with them. Anyway, great premise right?

With luck on his side, everything starts going right for Anthony. That bus he always missed shows up right on time. Construction that week has actually moved his stop to right in front of his place. Instead of having to fight people on sales calls, they now answer with, “My air conditioner just died.” Contests are won, all his jokes are funny, coworkers fall in love him. Everything in Anthony’s life becomes…perfect.

In case you haven’t figured it out, “Good Luck Anthony Belcher” is unapologetically a straight-forward high concept comedy. But that’s not a bad thing. The execution here is strong, which is the only element that matters in these stories. Of course anybody can come up with a wacky idea. But it’s the writers who know how to build a story around that idea that get their scripts sold. So yes there’s the wacky friend. Yes there’s the unattainable love interest. Yes Anthony begins taking advantage of his luck which results in a bunch of problems. But all of this is done with skill and care, and for that reason, despite its predictability, “Anthony Belcher” manages to be fun.

If there’s a problem with the script, it’s in the second half, where there’s definitely some momentum loss. Here’s what I’ve found with these comedies. Almost all of them run into problems in that second half, and that’s because the story often becomes a victim of its own plot. The writer has to answer questions and move towards concluding the story, and in doing so, loses a lot of comedy along the way. The late Blake Snyder may be responsible for some of this. His emphasis on the “fun and games” section of the 3-Act Structure that occurs at the beginning of the second act is great advice. However it implies there shouldn’t be any fun or any games later on in the script, which is where a lot of these comedies need it (and why so many of them seem to be top-heavy). Whatever the case, Belcher definitely suffers in this area, and I’m sure the rewrites are concentrating on this problem.

Still, the script is fun. I liked Anthony. I liked his roommate (who ends up getting the opposite treatment, and is bestowed a string of bad luck to Anthony’s good). I liked the girl. And the “bad guy” co-worker, while standard, is well-constructed. Maybe my knowledge of the British entertainment world is limited, but this definitely felt like a Ricky Gervais or Simon Pegg vehicle. I was imagining Gervais delivering the lines (even though the character is in his 20s) and couldn’t stop laughing.

My issue with these high-concept comedies is I’m always wishing they were edgier. I want the writers to take more chances, because without an edge, the ideas blend into each other. I’ve only read one other script on The Brit List so I can’t say if this is worthy of garnering the top spot, but it’s definitely a solid effort. And it leaves us with an interesting question: If you knew you’d have perfect luck for a week, what would you do?

[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] barely kept my interest
[x] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: If you’re going to follow a “template” when writing a script, High Concept Comedy is probably the best genre to do it in. It just lends itself nicely to the 3 act structure and all those other little beats and motivations you have to hit. Straightforward dramas, thrillers, action, horror, westerns…they all have their own little nuances that complicate borrowing from a template. I am by no means suggesting that following a template is the way to go. I try to encourage taking chances and trying something different where it makes sense. But if you do want to follow a template, do it with a High Concept Comedy.

Can we talk about something for a second? One of my favorite screenplays of the year? A little script called “Buried” about a man who wakes up inside a coffin with no memory of how he got there? Oh yeah, did I mention that the entire script takes place inside that coffin? Still not jogging your memory? Go check out my review of the script here. The script was purchased earlier this year and secured Ryan Reynolds as the one-man lead in the film. Production has since been completed.

Through the grace of one of Scriptshadow’s helpful fans who happened to know Chris, I was able to do a little trapping of my own and convince Mr. Sparling to do an interview for the site. Chris was more than happy to help out. A little background on Chris first. He is a writer/director/actor/producer/screenwriting teacher who took matters into his own hands when he wrote/directed/produced his first film back in 2005 titled, “An Uzi At The Alamo.” Chris recently sold another script titled, “Mercy,” to Gold Circle Films on September 24th. Clearly they must have heard he was going to be interviewed on Scriptshadow. Anyway, I’ll stop talking and give the floor to the man himself, Chris Sparling. Enjoy the interview.

SS: How did the idea for Buried come about?

CS: I wish I could say it was some uniquely artistic reason, but it actually was a financial decision. It had been about four or five years since I shot a feature, and I was getting sort of antsy. Anyway, I tried to come up with the most contained story I could possibly tell, in addition to being one that involved as few actors as possible. From there, I felt there had to be a compelling reason why someone would be buried alive, rather than go the straight horror route and chalk it up to some crazy, Saw-like lunatic who just wants to torture someone. After then researching the dangers so many civilian contractors are facing in Iraq and Afghanistan, as well as the unimaginable conditions those of them who are kidnapped endure, I knew right away I had my reason.

SS: I noticed you were an actor and a director as well as a writer. Were you writing something you could shoot and act in yourself? If so, what made you give up the acting and directing parts?

CS: Although I did initially intend on directing Buried, I never saw myself playing Paul. For one, I originally wrote him as being much older than me (even though Ryan Reynolds ended up playing the role, and we’re just about the same age), and second, I’ve done the DIY, wear-all-the-hats-at-once thing before and the movie suffered as a result. Also, once I saw Rodrigo Cortes’ first film, The Contestant, I knew he was the right person to direct Buried. He’s incredibly gifted, and unlike many other directors we considered, he was the only one who wanted to stay true to the script by keeping the entire story in the box. And, of course, we were fortunate enough to land an incredibly talented and courageous actor in Ryan, who was willing to take a risk on this crazy movie.

SS: How many scripts had you written before Buried? Which script did you realize that maybe you were getting the hang of it?

CS: Before Buried, I think I’d written about nine or ten features and two TV specs. Truth be told, it didn’t start to click for me until about my seventh feature script.

SS: What’s your process as a writer? Do you write quickly? Does it take awhile? Do you outline? How many drafts do you write?

CS: I kind of follow a pyramid design, in that I start with the bigger, broader things first and then steadily make my way up to the more detailed aspects of the script. Typically, I’ll write a brief synopsis (3-5 pages), then a character breakdown, followed by a thorough scene breakdown/step outline, and then finally a first draft of the script itself. Thankfully, yes,I do write pretty quickly, which helps because I usually write at least two or three drafts of a spec.

SS: One of the things I like so much about Buried is that it seems to follow the generally accepted rules of screenwriting, but like all great scripts, does so without the reader realizing they’re there. For example, in my review, I talk about your exceptional use of multiple ticking time bombs and how effective they were. Are you a “rules” guy? Or do you just follow your gut?

CS: Like I said before, it took me writing about seven scripts before everything seemed to click. For me, finally “getting it” meant being able to write from the gut and not having to consciously worry about hitting certain plot points or whatever else, because you end up hitting them anyway.

SS: A mutual acquaintance mentioned that you taught screenwriting. When you go into a semester, what are the most important pieces of information you want your students to leave with?

CS: I only teach from time to time, but when I do, I implore my students to learn how the film business works. Honing their craft should go without saying, which is why I stress the need for them to get out to festivals, make contacts, attend film markets, intern, and do just about anything else they can do to learn about the business they hope to someday work in.

SS: What is the most common mistake you see screenwriters make?

CS: Amazingly, not reading screenplays. This clearly doesn’t seem to be the case for the readers of your site, but on the whole, it’s a mistake a lot of writers make. How-To books are great, as are classes and seminars, but there’s no better (or cheaper) way to become a better writer than to read as many scripts as you can get your hands on.

SS: What do you think the key is, not necessarily to write a great script, but to sell a script? Or are they one and the same?

CS: So far, I’ve only sold two specs: Buried and, most recently, a horror/thriller called Mercy. What made those scripts sell and not the nine or ten others before them? It could simply be that they were better scripts, but it’s probably more do do with access — access to people who are now actually willing to read my stuff. This is why I think it’s so important to understand how the business works. You have to know who the gatekeepers are, how to get to them, how to get them to turn your pages, and then — provided your stuff is good enough — you will get read by the the people who have the power to buy your spec.

SS: How did you obtain agency representation and what is your advice for other writers seeking representation?

As I mentioned before, I made a no-budget indie a few years back, which caught the attention of my manager, Aaron Kaplan. He didn’t sign me right away, but he apparently saw enough promise in me to continue reading my scripts and watch some things I directed and acted in. Fast forward to just over a year ago, when I was already about six months into pre-production on Buried (the no-budget version I was going to direct), I sent him the script and he flipped for it. Two days later he signed me. From there, he got the script over to the agencies he had relationships with and within a week or so I signed with Charlie Ferraro and Doug Johnson at UTA. As for advice on how to get a rep, all I can say is to be persistent. Not overbearing; persistent. Apart from that, another great way is to connect with a producer — one who believes in your talent — and then, when the time is right, ask that person to refer you to some reps they regularly work with.

SS: How important to a screenwriter’s success do you think it is to have other things going on besides the writing (ie directing, acting, producing, blogging, teaching)?

I’m not sure doing any or all of these things are vital to being a successful screenwriter, but they certainly don’t hurt.

SS: With studios putting more emphasis than ever on adaptations (and hiring guns to write them), it’s getting harder and harder to find truly original material. But a couple of original ideas broke through this summer in The Hangover and District 9. What’s your opinion on the state of industry?

I think the public wants comfort right now.. We’re facing unprescedented economic hardship; we want to escape to the places and do the things we know for sure make us happy. There’s no risk there, and that makes us feel comfortable spending our hard earned money at the box office. That’s why everything seems to be pre-awareness these days. But, as you pointed out, there have been several original films that have broken through and, subsequently, performed very well in their own right. In my opinion, as we begin to pull out of this recession, I think the flip back to more original content will start to happen. But until then, enjoy the big screen adaptation of Dan Brown’s latest release, Iron Man 2, Rambo 5, Battleship the movie…..

SS: What is your opinion on Josh Olson’s recent rant that he will not read your fucking script? Would you read Josh Olson’s script?

CS: I understand both sides of this debate. From Josh Olson’s side, I have personally experienced the “No Good Deed Goes Unpunished” backlash from reading someone’s script. About four years ago, a woman (a complete stranger, mind you) emailed me and asked if I would read not one script, but two. Evidently, she and her writing partner had written two different versions of a story they came up with, and they wanted to know which of the two was better. Long story short, I agreed, and when I wrote back and told her I thought script B was better than script A, she got all bent out of shape because she wrote script A. Here it was I gave a complete stranger about three hours of my time (I read very slowly) and an unbiased, somewhat professional opinion, and in return she basically told me I was an idiot and that she shouldn’t have wasted HER time by contacting me in the first place. Again, that’s just one example of why I can see things from Josh Olson’s side. However, and this is a pretty big however, I’m not sure I agree with the way he went about saying what he said. I would imagine he was once a struggling screenwriter too, so he should know firsthand how hard it is to get stuff read — and therefore shouldn’t fault writers for trying.

Thanks again to Chris. I hope you guys found some wisdom, motivation, or inspiration from his words. I think one of the common threads I’m starting to see with success is that people who achieve it attack their dream from different angles. Writing is such an invisible pursuit. No one sees you doing it. So if you’re out there acting, directing, producing, even blogging. Those things are more visible and give you a stage to promote your writing ambitions. Just a thought.