Genre: Drama
Premise: Awkward and lonely, Jared is only able to find a community online — until the day he realizes that his favorite Youtuber lives nearby. Desperate for a connection, he becomes determined to find a way into her life… whether she wants it or not.
About: This script finished with 7 votes on last year’s Black List. The writer, Alexandra Serio, has written and directed a couple of short films, one of which looks to be the inspiration for this screenplay.
Writer: Alexandra Serio
Details: 90 pages

One of the things I’ve been actively doing over the past month is weening myself off junk food internet content.

I’m doing this because, ironically, I watched a Youtube video about the effects of social media and what the video noted was that, a hundred years ago, you read the news in your small town and were immediately able to do something about it.

For example, if the local church burned down, you’d be able to get together with the community and help rebuild it. You’d have a physical outlet for the unresolved news issue.

But today, the news is always so far away – “Crazy Thing Happens in Washington!” – that you can’t actually do anything about it. So the energy that the news generates inside of you stays put, along with all the other junk you come across on the internet, creating a ton of anxiety that comes out in unproductive ways.

I bring this up because, as I’ve been detoxing, I’ve spotted more and more of these “black pill” videos. Since I don’t click on them, I don’t know much about the black pill philosophy. But from my understanding, it’s a negative defeatist way for men to look at the world.

Naturally, then, it’s a perfect backdrop for a screenplay! So let’s get into it!

Jared is in his 20s, lives in a trailer with his mom, and works at Wal-Mart. So, yeah, things aren’t going well for Jared. Jared deals with this through the “black pill” online community. Essentially, black pillers believe that certain men, aka “incels,” will always be invisible to women and therefore they should either accept this and not try to get with women or kill themselves.

But a tiny part of Jared is holding out hope. He watches this ASMR influencer online and she routinely puts out affirmation content where she whispers into your ears as you fall asleep that you are “worthy” and that “looks don’t matter.” Stuff like that.

Lo and behold, Jared can’t fathom his luck when he spots Dee AT HIS WAL-MART! As a Black Piller he can’t actually go up and talk to her so he follows her from a distance, even leaving work to follow her home. Once she’s home, he’s able to watch her livestream in person. As in stalking from his car across the street looking through her window “in person.”

When Jared sends her the livestream question, “Do you have a boyfriend?” And she ignores it, he goes ballistic. A primal incel force is triggered inside of him. He goes and buys a bunch of home improvement stuff and renovates an abandoned trailer near his home. He then sneaks into Dee’s home, waits for her, and kidnaps her (while wearing a mask) during her livestream!

He chains her up in his secondary trailer and starts reading all the news. Due to being kidnapped on a live stream, Dee becomes a national story. Jared spends the next couple of days not really sure what to do with Dee. He’s like the cat who finally catches the laser beam. Now what? He ultimately decides to execute a dramatic suicide on Dee’s channel. Will he be able to pull it off?

As you guys know, I love a good character description.

They’re an easy way for me to identify if I’m reading a good writer.

I really liked the description of Jared here. It’s a little long. But the main thing with any character description is that the reader HAS A GREAT FEEL FOR THE CHARACTER after they read it. So here’s Jared’s description in Blackpill.

JARED, a weary 20-something, enters and drops into a gaming chair exhausted. One look into his dark eyes reveals his exhaustion is soul deep; the look of a man who truly believes he’s never caught a break.

Let’s break this down piece by piece. First we get his age with the added bonus of an adjective. Right away, we’re learning things about this guy.

We’re then told he drops into a “gaming chair.” A “gaming chair” is a very specific piece of furniture. That’s what you want to do as a screenwriter. You want to focus on the SPECIFIC things your character has. Not the general things. If you would’ve told us that Jared, instead, dropped down onto “a couch,” that doesn’t give us nearly as much information about him.

The next sentence gave me even more insight into Jared: “One look into his dark eyes reveals his exhaustion is soul deep.” That’s a different situation than someone who’s simply “exhausted.” “Soul deep” means the exhaustion is irreversible.

Finally, we get this tag about how he “believes he’s never caught a break.” I love that description because we all know people like this, people who believe that life is against them and is determined to make their existence miserable, and how they use that as a sort of defense mechanism to explain not trying to improve. In 40 words, I have a great feel for this character.

Contrast this with yesterday’s character intros. Here’s one for the sister from that script, Brie:

SNIFF! BRIE MORGAN (38, pretty like a wilting flower) snorts a bump of blow like a pro.

The one good thing about this description is that we’re introducing the character during an ACTION, and actions are a great way to tell us about a character. The problem is that snorting coke is one of the most cliche actions in movies. Contrast this with the gaming chair. The gaming chair is SPECIFIC. Snorting coke is GENERIC.

We’re then told, rather clumsily in parenthesis, that Brie is “pretty like a wilting flower.” What does that mean? Is a wilting flower still pretty? So you’re saying she’s kind of pretty? Or are you saying a wilting flower isn’t pretty at all and therefore she’s ugly? Trying to be too clever by half when you’re not clever in the first place is a recipe for writing disaster. Clarity over cuteness, always.

Or here’s one from a script I’m going to review in the newsletter:

Subtle pockmarked scars surround sage eyes — eyes carrying oceans of weight. In another life he may have been a poet.

Holy Moses is this weak. Eyes carrying “oceans of weight.” Extremely clunky phrasing that doesn’t quite make sense. Avoid at all costs. “In another life he may have been a poet.” That’s a strange thing to say after the “oceans of weight” debacle. Where is the connection? Just because you have a lot of history in your eyes, you’re a poet all of a sudden? Weird description all around.

Just remember that when it comes to descriptions, the harder you try, the worse you do. Key in on your hero’s defining characteristic (like Jared, he’s almost given up on life) and give us a simple description that conveys that.

As for the rest of Blackpill, it was pretty good. I enjoy the sub-genre of characters in mental decline. There’s a built-in trainwreck aspect to the narrative and as much as we hate ourselves for it, we all look forward to seeing the crash when we pass it. One of the best versions of this sub-genre is Magazine Dreams. Very similar to this script.

Where I had some issues with Blackpill was with the plot. There wasn’t a whole lot going on in it. Man feels unseen. Man sees influencer he’s obsessed with. Man prepares to kidnap influencer. Man does kidnap influencer. Man executes plan to kill himself.

My issue here is that I couldn’t figure out which route the writer wanted to go down. If this was a stalker thriller in the vein of Single White Female, it needs more twists and turns. If it’s a character study like Joker, you need to dig into the character more. Or, in this case, into both characters. While I had a good feel for Jared, I didn’t know Dee that well. And in a narrative this simple, you probably need to expand the character work to include the co-star.

Cause I think that’s what would’ve elevated this. Let’s look at the circumstances by which a guy could be pulled into this dangerous online religion. But let’s also see how girls can be pulled into, arguably, the just as dangerous religion of influencing. I felt like Serio was starting to go there towards the end. But it was too little too late. I believe this becomes a much more intellectual experience if we’re showing Dee’s influencer obsession as well.

With that said, it’s an easy read and I wanted to find out how things were going to end. As long as you accomplish that, you’ve written a good script.

[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[x] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: This script is a great example of how point-of-view changes a story. If you write this from Dee’s point of view, it’s a survival story. If you write this from Jared’s point-of-view, it’s an obsessive stalker story. But there’s a third option. You can write it from both points-of-view. And then it becomes more of an intellectual experience, something that gets cinephiles and critics talking. So always explore every potential point-of-view before you write your script. You might be overlooking the best version of your screenplay.

The less heralded chipmunk team is back with a tree-climbing vengeance!

Genre: Animation/Family
Premise: Years after the acting duo have split up, Chip and Dale are given a new mission when a friend of theirs mysterious disappears.
About: A lot of people had no idea this movie was even coming down the pipe so imagine their surprise when it not only popped up on Disney Plus, but quickly became the number one movie on the service! Writers Dan Gregor and Doug Mand also wrote Disney’s “Magic Camp” and “Doolittle.” The film is being heralded for its unending number of “holy schnikees” cameos.
Writers: Dan Gregor and Doug Mand
Details: 1 hour and 47 minutes

When I heard there was going to be a new Chip n Dale movie I was a little skeptical, with emphasis on the “little” (get it? Cause they’re chipmunks). Those 1980s cartoons with that wacky mini-mammal combo managed to cook up a smorgasbord of shenanigans each and every weekend to the point where I didn’t think anything could top it.

I still remember my favorite tale of them all, season 3, episode 19, “Chips Ahoy?” where Chip n Dale wake up in a cheese factory with amnesia and have to figure out how they got there then fight their way out against an army of rats. Unofficially, that storyline is what inspired Robert Ludlum to write The Bourne Identity.

Now, as we all know, Chip n Dale was famously canceled by controversial TV executive Charles K. Figueroa after he became head of ABC and, in a power move, got rid of all the Saturday morning cartoons on the channel. The creators were so angry about the cancellation that they funded their own episode, titled, “Two Chips and A Miss,” airing it on public TV, which became an instant classic, winning the Clemson Award for best animated episode of television.

While we’re talking about great episodes, how can we not mention…

OKAY!

Okay okay okay.

Enough.

Sorry. It was too tempting to mess with you guys. I had to do it. I know why you’re here. You’re here for…

MOVIE REVIEW – TOP GUN: MAVERICK!!!

Genre: Action/Drama
Premise: Legendary pilot Pete Mitchell is tasked with preparing a new team of Top Gun recruits to pull off a near-impossible mission, a team that includes the son of the man he killed, Goose.
About: They say the movie star is dead. Then how is it that a movie star whose latest movie is built solely around his stardom just made 150 million dollars at the box office, more than double Tom Cruise’s previous movie high? This seems even crazier when you consider that a year ago, Paramount didn’t know what to do with Top Gun: Maverick, as they’d been sitting on a completed film for ages, everyone around them sending their films straight to streaming, and people were questioning whether the theatrical experience was done for anybody outside of Marvel. But Tom Cruise stayed the course, convincing Paramount that this thing was meant to be played in theaters, and boy was he right. This has to be one of the most shocking box office takes in history.
Writers: Story by Peter Craig & Justin Marks. Screenplay by Ehren Kruger, Eric Warren Singer, and Christopher McQuarrie. Characters by Jim Cash and Jack Epps Jr.
Details: 130 minutes

Quick question for the readers. Is this the best long-absence sequel of all time? Usually, these long-absence sequels crash and burn in a fiery blaze of non-glory. Matrix Revolutions, Terminator Dark Fate, Dumb and Dumber Too, Independence Day: Resurgence, T2: Trainspotting, Bad Boys For Life.

Somehow, some way, Top Gun Maverick discovered the formula for coming up with a long-absence sequel story that needed to be told. Remember how I was talking about that in the newsletter? From the second Top Gun Maverick started, with Pete continuing to bump up against his never-ending flaw – his recklessness – you felt like this movie mattered.

With that said, I do think Top Gun Maverick missed a couple of opportunities to elevate this to genius (yes, I said it) status. But even with those near-misses, it’s still the blockbuster movie of the year, leaving all these superhero flicks in the dust.

Full disclosure. The first Top Gun did nothing for me at the time. What I remember about it was the roundhouse high-five, which I practiced way too much with my friends. Then the line, “I feel the need. The need for speed.” I loved saying that line. But other than those two things, Top Gun went right through one eyeball and out the other. I barely remembered anything about it.

So I watched it again in preparation for Top Gun: Maverick and I was shocked by how invested I was. There’s this weird thing with movies where they either work or they don’t work. And you know it within the first five minutes. It just feels like all cylinders are firing. Even movies you don’t personally enjoy, you know if they still “work” as a movie.

The original Top Gun had that feeling. It was so sure of itself. And that made us sure of it. When Goose dies? I was freaking emotional, man. I was like, “whoa, did I not have feelings as a kid? How was I not crying up an ocean when this happened?”

In many ways, Top Gun is the perfect summer movie. It celebrates everything we want out of a summer. We have a girlfriend who lives in a house by the ocean. We play shirtless beach volleyball every day. We drunkenly belt out songs with our buddies at the bar. And wherever we go, we have a light coat of sweat covering us. That movie felt like summer is supposed to feel.

Top Gun: Maverick understands this as well. Which is why it’s debuting on the opening weekend of summer.

If you haven’t seen it, Pete “Maverick” Mitchell test-flies super advanced planes for the military but is told that these programs are shutting down as the military is moving towards drone technology. Luckily, Maverick is called back to the Top Gun flight school to train a bunch of new recruits. Top Gun flight school, by the way, is the school that trains the best of the best.

One of the new recruits is “Rooster,” which is Goose’s son. Naturally, there’s a lot of friction between Maverick and Rooster, as many believe Maverick’s reckless flying style is what led to Goose’s death.

The school turns out to be more important than your average flight school as there’s a uranium rich target from an enemy (they don’t tell us who the enemy is but we assume it’s the Russians) that needs to be taken out within three weeks. Maverick will be tasked with training the students to pull this mission off. Meanwhile, he falls for an old flame who works at a local bar.

What I loved about this movie is that it understood why the first movie was so successful and embraced it. You have to understand that Top Gun was the pinnacle of the Bruckheimer-Simpson era, where movie producers opened a magazine, looked at the pictures, found something that looked cool and built a story around it. It was a very simplistic way to approach movies, but the good thing about it was that it kept everything simple.

A movie about a best pilot competition at the top flight school is as simple as it gets.

One of the reasons blockbusters feel all over the place these days is because they’ve overcomplicated the storytelling to the point where there’s a million things going on at once. Look no further than Dr. Strange and the Fifteen Other People movie that came out last month. It’s a big cumbersome forest of confusion.  I mean do you even remember what the plot was?  I don’t.

Top Gun Maverick understands what that does to a movie. It wants you focused instead.

One of the ways they do this is to give us the mission goal right at the start of the film. “We’re going to try and destroy THIS target. And here’s why it’s going to be hard. And that’s why we need to train. Now we’re going to go train.” I actually thought the sequel did it better than the original. If you could nitpick the original, one of the things you’d point out is the low stakes. What happened at the school never felt that important.

The original film rallies at the end by adding a big climax that *does* matter. But we only learn about the mission at the end. Here, we’re told about the big thing they have to do right from the start. So now the training actually seems necessary.

Another way they did a great job was reminding us over and over again how difficult this mission was going to be. They showed us through computer animation just how impossible the job was. This is a great tip for every screenwriter. Tell the reader how impossible it is to succeed at the goal. Really lean into that. Because you want the reader to think, “Oh my God. How are they going to pull this off???”

There’s two major steps in the mission and they even call these steps, “Miracle 1” and “Miracle 2.” So we’re thinking in our heads, “They have to pull off TWO miracles??? Oh my God they’re never going to be able to do that!” Which of course makes us want to watch to see if they can.

I can’t emphasize enough how great of a job the writers (and the director) did at clearly explaining every point of the mission. The reason you do this is so the audience knows exactly what’s going on, which means they’re more engaged.

Once the parameters are clear, you can do things like emphasize how “impossible” it will be to pull the plane up over the enormous slope at the end of the bombing. That way, we’re all anticipating that moment. We’re thinking, oh man, even if they hit their target they still have to shoot up the side of this mountain with no room. That creates anticipation and suspense.

When you’re a newbie writer, you assume the reader and viewer already know those things. So you don’t bother explaining them. Or you barely explain them. Clarity about what your characters have to do is essential to the reader understanding what’s happening. So whether it’s a fighter pilot mission or a bank heist, make sure we know what the characters have to do to achieve their impossible goal.

Another thing I liked was that Maverick’s flaw was the same. Usually sequels suffer because the hero has already overcome their main flaw in the first film. Maverick’s flaw is his recklessness. It’s what got his best friend, Goose, killed. Watching him battle that – does he take it easy or does he continue to push the limits – is what makes his character fun. Top Gun is, arguably, a 2-D movie. So anything you can do to make it a little deeper, helps. And I think Maverick’s flaw of recklessness is what helps this movie feel deeper than it deserves to feel. Which is likely why it resonates with people.

But it’s such a great flaw to play with, regardless, because it’s so visual. Some flaws are hard to show. Like, if your character’s flaw is that he’s an idealist, that doesn’t transfer very well to film. If you have a really talky movie with people sharing ideologies a lot, it could work. But recklessness is this big flashy way to explore a flaw and, for that reason, I’m glad they kept it. We see it right at the beginning – to re-establish that he still has this flaw – when he’s pushing a test plane past its recommended speed (Mach 10), even if it means the plane falling apart.

Let me preface what I’m going to say next with, I think this is a great film. You can nitpick anything. So I don’t have any overwhelming feelings about these missed opportunities. But I do think they could’ve added something to the movie.

First, why didn’t they add a storyline with drones? They tell us right from the start that pilots are going the way of the dinosaur so you think that’s what’s coming – a drone obstacle. But we don’t see a single drone in the movie. I think it would’ve been great if the military was considering going with a drone strike on this target and the flight school was trying to prove that it needed to be a manned mission instead.

I mean how awesome would it have been for Tom Cruise to go up against the newest top level drone being flown by some video game type stud who thinks these old planes are jokes? Seeing Cruise outmaneuver and trick the drone to convince the military to go with them over the drone team would’ve been awesome, in my opinion.

Also, I thought they should’ve done what Cobra Kai did and made all the student pilots a bunch of Gen Z pu$$ies. And Tom Cruise had to knock some old school toughness into them. It would’ve not only been more fun but it would’ve added some personality to the students who were overshadowed heavily by the star power of Cruise. Just a thought.

But other than that, I thought this was the perfect summer movie. It delivered on every level. It actually used its nostalgia for dramatic effect rather than audience applause. It understood exactly what it needed to be and, to use the perfect analogy, it hit the target dead on.

I loved it!

[ ] What the hell did I just watch?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[ ] worth the price of admission
[x] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: An old urgency trick is to give the goal an impossible time frame (in this case, they have 3 weeks to train for an impossible mission), then, in the middle of the story, CUT THE TIME FRAME DOWN EVEN MORE. So, at the midpoint, they think they still have two weeks. But then the military receives intelligence that the uranium is arriving sooner than anticipated. Which means they’ll have to fly the mission in one week.

I suspect most of you will assume I didn’t like The Bubble. Most of you would be correct. However, I don’t think The Bubble is as bad as some people are saying it is. Once it hits its groove and understands what it is, it’s not bad. The problem is it takes too long to get there.

The movie starts off as a commentary on the pandemic, which doesn’t work because while the intention was to parody something we all went through and therefore be “relatable,” it only parodies a unique subset of the pandemic – that of trying to make a movie.

I don’t know anyone who had the problem of being quarantined in a hotel with a bunch of charismatic people while they got paid millions of dollars. It was too specific of a parody so many of the pandemic jokes didn’t work. For example, I didn’t have to get tested every other day during the pandemic. So that’s not funny to me.

However, once the narrative shifts to the studio trapping the actors until they finish their movie, the movie actually gets kind of funny. For example, there’s this big climactic scene where the actors make a run for it and get into a helicopter, which is their only way to freedom.

In every action movie, getting in a helicopter and flying off while being attacked from all sides is a foregone conclusion. But in this movie, where a lone actor knows how to fly helicopters via his 8 movie-prep lessons, the team rises off the ground before they find out that the actor has only ever learned how to go up and down. So the big climactic moment is simply: can he figure out how to go forward so they can leave?

Despite its weaknesses, it’s a movie worth discussing if only because Judd Apatow is the biggest comedy director in the world. So if Judd Apatow miscalculates, it’s worth asking why, so we can learn from it.

Judd made two risky choices that may have done The Bubble in. The first is that he abandoned any emotional through-line in the screenplay, which has been one of his staples. For example, in his last film, The King of Stanten Island, there’s this really deep surrogate father-son relationship between the main character and his mom’s new boyfriend.

As I’ve argued many times here on the site, if we don’t feel any emotional connection to the characters, we don’t feel like they’re real. So when they get into trouble, we don’t fear for them. And without that fear, every joke that highlights their misfortunes is paper-thin, since we know it doesn’t matter.

Judd has been forthright about this. In his Barstool Sports interview, he said that this was a new challenge for him, writing a pure comedy, where all you care about is the jokes. I got the sense that he began freaking out about this choice towards the end of the movie as the sudden third-act focus on character emotion felt like an overcorrection, an attempt to remedy his mistakes from earlier.

The other mistake Judd made was he didn’t have a main character. I remember about 30 minutes into the movie feeling like I’d met 50 people and knew none of them. We’re bouncing around so much that we never get attached to anyone. If you look at Judd’s most popular movies – films like The 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, even Trainwreck – they’re almost aggressively one-character movies.

When you focus on one character, you can dive into who that person is, what makes them tick, what their flaws are, what their vices are, what their relationships are like. And we just didn’t get any of that in The Bubble.

There’s a moment late in the script where the closest thing that Judd has to a main character, Carol (Karen Gillan), seeks out help from Sean Knox (Keegan-Michael Key). In the scene, Carol, who’s losing her mind, wants to know how Sean, who’s a major movie star, is able to stay so positive.

This was about 80 pages into the screenplay, mind you, and it was THE FIRST TIME I was aware that Sean Knox was a major movie star. I had no idea. That was par for the course here. This choice to follow everyone instead of someone prevented us from knowing anyone.

Here’s a tip. Whenever you’re trying to decide who your main character should be, ask yourself who has the most to lose? Who has the most on the line? That person should probably be your hero.

In Juno, it isn’t Juno’s boyfriend who has the most on the line. It isn’t her parents. It isn’t her friend. It isn’t even the family she’s going to give the baby to. It’s her. She has the most on the line. She’s pregnant. What she does affects, literally, the rest of her life.

To that end, the main character in The Bubble probably should’ve been the director, Darren, played by Fred Armisen. He seemed to have the most to lose. This was his big studio shot and it just happened to come at the most restrictive time for movie production in history.

Trying to make a good movie under those conditions must have felt like an insurmountable task. But since we only kind of knew Darren, we never felt any compassion when the movie began slipping through his fingers.

Comedy continues to be an extremely frustrating genre. How is that a genre whose faults are the easiest to dissect is also the hardest to execute?

Luckily, The Bubble isn’t the only new thing that dropped last week. We also got a new Marvel series, Moon Knight. I’d say, of the five Marvel shows that have come out so far – Wandavision, Falcon and Winter Soldier, Hawkeye, Loki, and now this – it’s probably the most anticipated considering it has the best actor and the least known story. Unlike the other shows, Moon Knight is a brand new character we haven’t met before. It’s exciting having a complete unknown for once.

The thing I will give Marvel is that between Wandavision, Loki, and now this, they are taking chances. I can’t sit here and complain that Hollywood never takes risks then ignore it when they do.

I have a lot of admiration for Marvel using these shows as a testing ground for unique storytelling, and not just making them bite-sized versions of their movies. Well, I guess Hawkeye and Winter Soldier are bite-sized versions. But three of these shows are still unique. And Moon Knight may be the most unique of all.

At the center of the story is this giant mystery. This museum worker, Marc, constantly blacks out, missing huge chunks of his life, which results in a daily routine where he’s just trying to get up to speed half the time. For example, a female co-worker asks him if they’re still on for their date Friday night. Except Marc does not remember asking this girl out.

These missing chunks of time are getting more volatile, though. Marc will find himself in the middle of a small village in a completely different country surrounded by cult-members and have no idea how he got there. When they sense Marc is an intruder, they attack him, only for Marc to black out, and when he regains consciousness, 20 people around him have been violently killed, and his hands are dripping with blood. This cult leader, Arthur, wants something Marc has, an Egyptian gold scarab (our macguffin), and he’ll do anything to get it.

The pilot is a great reminder of how influential POV (point-of-view) is to a story. Take The Bubble, for instance. The POV was 20 different characters. We saw the unfolding drama through enough eyes to get a 10,000 feet high look at what was happening.

Here, the POV is just one person, Marc. And because we’re in his head with him when these chunks of time keep disappearing, we feel the same fear he does. I remember, at one point, literally wondering, “Good God. Is this what being crazy feels like? Where you’re a slave to this illogical sequence of events that are constantly changing?” I don’t have that feeling without Marc’s singular POV.

Imagine if Moon Knight was told like The Bubble, where we saw Marc’s situation through ten other people. All that fear would be gone. Cause we’d know exactly what was happening. So POV is something every writer should consider when writing a script. WHO has the POV and HOW MANY people have the POV will have a dramatic effect on character, plot, theme, how you build suspense, where you find your conflict, everything.

The question will be, can Moon Knight keep its death-defying pace up? Presumably, our main mystery will be solved going forward. They already kind of answer it at the end of this episode. So will they simply move the mystery over to his Egyptian roots and what this Arthur villain is after? Or will they just have Moon Knight solving crime, a la Batman?

It’d be a shame if that were the case but this has been my issue with the 6-8 episode format, in general. It’s not quite a TV show. It’s not quite a movie. So nobody really knows what to do with it. We’re in that experimental phase and, so far, I’m not sure I’d call the phase a success. The only high-profile show I’ve seen nail it so far has been Peacemaker.

But I’m rooting for Moon Knight. It’s probably one of the coolest superhero costumes I’ve ever seen. And who doesn’t want to see more Oscar Isaac? Have you seen either Moon Knight or The Bubble? Let me know what you think!

High-profile television IP is a fairly new space so I suspect we’re going to be scratching and clawing our way into a workable structure for these shows for the foreseeable future. What I do know is this. Marvel shows have been average. And the Star Wars shows have been below average. Boba Fett’s latest episode confirmed to me that they don’t know what to do with that character or the story, for that matter. The show has little bursts of fun moments. But, for the most part, it’s a show in search of a coherent story.

The Marvel shows have fared a little better. Hawkeye and Falcon & Winter Soldier were no-frills empty calorie entertainment. And Wandavision and Loki, while better, never quite lived up to their ambitious objectives.

One of the things I’ve realized is that superhero characters are built for big flashy moments. The caravan chase in The Dark Knight. The train sequence in Spider-Man 2. The airport sequence in Captain America: Civil War. TV doesn’t allow for this to happen. The budget just isn’t anywhere near what it is for those films. That’s where superhero shows have struggled. With their identity stolen away, they’ve tried to reinvent the genre. And what we’re learning is that there isn’t anything low-budget that can replace those big crazy set-pieces.

Which brings me to Peacemaker, easily the best high profile television IP that’s hit streaming so far. I went into the series skeptical only because I didn’t think Gunn’s Suicide Squad was very good. I did that thing where you put a show on in the background while mindlessly looking up new coffee tables online. Despite only casually following along, I found myself consistently giggling at the dialogue.

The next thing I knew my laptop was on my current ugly coffee table, completely closed (a rarity) and with each passing minute, I was more pulled into Peacemaker’s charming irreverent slice of superhero fiction. You know what it reminds me of? If Community was an R-rated superhero show. It’s got that balls-to-the-wall “who cares” attitude to it.

Hell, I was singing along to the opening dance number by the second episode!

There are a lot of things to like here but I’ll point out a couple that stood out. The first was the bridge between episodes 1 and 2. At the end of episode 1, Peacemaker is being chased by a scary powerful alien woman. That’s the end of the episode. The second episode 2 begins, we cut to the continuation of Peacemaker being chased by the alien woman!

You might be asking, “Why is that a big deal, Carson?”

Well, whenever I watch an episode of Boba Fett, they draw EVERRRRYYYYTHING OUUUUUUT FOR AS LOOOONNNNNNNNG AS POSSSSSSSIBLE. If we’re in the middle of a chase at the end of an episode, you can bet your bottom dollar that the next episode is going to start with a 20 minute flashback. And maybe – MAYBE – they’ll show us the continuation of the chase after that.

Don’t get me wrong, I know this is a narrative technique. You give us the beginning of a big moment then you cut to other characters or other storylines so we have to suspensefully wait to see what happens. However, it’s clear with episodes of Boba Fett, and most of these Marvel episodes, that that’s not the reason they’re making us wait.

They’re making us wait because they don’t have enough story. And when you don’t have enough story, you lean on trickery. You lean on false story engines. You’re basically finding things that fill up time so you can make the episode’s minimum time requirement.

This has become so predominant in high profile IP shows that I was legitimately shocked – in a good way – when we continued right where we left off in episode 2 of Peacemaker. Gunn understands that the lure of flashbacks – they help flesh out characters – can also act as story roadblocks, sending you off on some long not-well-thought-out detour that always takes too long to get you back to your original route.

Good writers develop characters in real-time. They don’t need that flashback crutch.

The other thing I like about Peacemaker is that Gunn didn’t say, “What’s the best Peacemaker show?” He said, “What’s the Peacemaker show that would best highlight my strengths as a writer?” Gunn’s biggest strength is putting characters in a room talking about nothing. As many of you know, I’ve railed against doing this. But IF YOU’RE GREAT AT SOMETHING then it doesn’t matter if you’re not supposed to do it. Your strength should always take precedence over what you’re “supposed” to do. And Gunn is a master at funny observational dialogue.

I’m beginning to realize why I didn’t like his last two movies (Suicide Squad and Guardians 2). It’s because, in features, you can’t sit characters in rooms and have them babble on for three minutes. Every scene in a feature has to push a ten-ton movie forward. Without that constraint, Gunn can now let loose. And he’s really good at letting loose. The way his mind works is so funny and he’s finally found a medium that allows him to go to town in this area.

By the way, one of the reasons he’s able to do this is because he’s created eight full-on dialogue-friendly characters. If you’re new to my site, there are dialogue-friendly characters and dialogue-unfriendly characters. If you’re trying to write great dialogue with two dialogue-unfriendly characters, it’s never going to sound right. I mean, can you imagine Boba Fett and Fennec having even a single entertaining conversation together? Of course not. Because neither of them is dialogue-friendly.

Gunn made sure that every single character here had their own entertaining personality type. Peacemaker is a blabbermouth who says a lot of ignorant things. His hilarious best-friend, Vigilante, is like Deadpool-lite. Co-team leader Emilia is always angry and always ready to take that anger out on you. Tech Specialist John, probably the most introverted of the bunch, is still willing to engage in awkward opinionated debates about what they should be doing. New Girl Leota isn’t afraid to throw quippy insults Peacemaker’s way.

I know it seems obvious. But if everyone is designed to be entertaining when they speak, you’re going to have a lot of good dialogue.

But I’ll tell you my favorite moment in Peacemaker – the moment that confirmed to me the show was special. And, believe it or not, it’s a moment that doesn’t have any dialogue. It occurs when Peacemaker is hiding outside the house of a man they need to assassinate with Emilia, his hot-headed boss who hates him but who Peacemaker has a major crush on.

They’re far off, in the bushes, waiting for the target to arrive so they can take him out with a sniper rifle. As they sit in silence, waiting, Emilia is eating a bag of trail mix. Peacemaker keeps looking over at it, hungrily. Finally, reluctantly, she holds the bag out so he can have some. He eagerly reaches in and takes a handful. Then, just as we think he’s going to start eating it, he begins to pick out the little pretzels and, one by one, place them back in the bag that she’s holding while she stares at him like he’s a crazy person.

I like this moment for two reasons. I love scenes that tell us who characters are by showing and not telling. This twenty-second moment tells us so much about these characters without saying a word. She hates this guy so much that the act of giving him her food must be coupled with an animated production of how much she hates doing so. Through that simple action, we know how much she detests Peacemaker. Meanwhile, the fact that Peacemaker starts placing trail mix pieces he doesn’t want back in her bag tells us that he is so ignorant to others’ perceptions of him that he doesn’t even know when someone hates him. That is Peacemaker in a nutshell: oblivious.

And two, most writers wouldn’t think to come up with this moment. It’s too subtle. To know your characters well enough to create a subtle moment as specific as this one is rare. Or, at least, in the scripts I read, it’s rare. It’s a great reminder to think about what your characters could do while they’re not speaking to each other. Moments do not always have to start with words.

This show came at just the right time for me. I’ve been looking for a good show. And this one is so fun. I would go so far as to say it’s the best thing James Gunn has ever done. And I dare anyone to challenge me on that because I’m obviously right. What about you? Have you seen Peacemaker? What did you think?

Note: For those confused, I originally posted this on Sunday, a full 12 hours before the Black List came out, as a holding spot. While we waited, I shared my top 10 movies of the year. That’s why you have this weird combination of “Best Movies of 2021” and “Black List 2021” in a single post. If you don’t care about my favorite movies of the year, just scroll down. :)

The Black List SHOULD be coming out tomorrow (Monday). Once it’s released, I will update this post with gobs of commentary. If anyone is looking for stuff to do in the interim, you can check out my RE-RANKING of the 2020 Black List, where I give you the TRUE rankings of all of last year’s scripts.

While we’re waiting for that, let’s talk movies!

Releasing West Side Story during a pandemic was an idea akin to opening up a gelato stand in Antarctica. Probably not the best idea. West Side Story was always going to be a hard sell but trying to get people to watch a dated musical in this environment? I could think of a few concepts that might’ve brought Spielberg more cheer. Hey, Steven, what ever happened to Robopocalypse? Pretty sure that would’ve made more than 10 mil.

The thing about Spielberg that made him into the mogul he is today is that he had a keen sense for knowing exactly what the masses wanted, a rare ability to always have his finger on the zeitgeist pulse. So you have to ask, with the disappointing box office of West Side Story, has that magical power finally passed Spielberg by? His last five movies before this were War Horse, Bridge of Spies, The BFG, The Post, and Ready Player One. Not exactly a glowing resume.

The funny thing is that this interception probably won’t go down on Spielberg’s stat card. West Side Story made 10 million dollars yet I’ve already read articles about how it’s beginning its awards run so it’s going to be around for awhile and remember The Greatest Showman? That made only 8 million its opening weekend before going on to gross 175 million so that’s exactly what’s going to happen to our movie, West Side Story! The pandemic is the best thing to ever happen to box office bombs. There’s so much spin available to studios these days, you could open your own dreidel company with it.

Considering the Black List is the ‘best of’ list for screenplays, I thought I’d give you my best of movies of the year. Normally, I would give this its own post. But let’s be real. 2021 has been a weird year for movies and when I looked at my list, I didn’t think it deserved its own post. With that said, there was one cool aspect about these films and that’s that a lot of them snuck up on me. That’s the best way to find a movie, in my opinion – when it comes out of nowhere. That was the case for most of these movies, in fact. Let’s take a look.

11) Bo Burnham’s “Inside” and The Lost Leonardo – I have a longstanding frustration with movie reviewers who include documentaries on their end-of-the-year lists. Documentaries aren’t real movies! So I’m going to compromise and squish my two favorite documentaries into one slot and put them at the bottom of the list. “Inside” is amazing for two reasons. Burnham is fearless when it comes to letting you inside of his brain. That makes for both an uncomfortable and exhilarating journey. Also, as a bonus, you’ll be humming half of his songs after watching. — I’m such a sucker for these art docus and “The Lost Leonardo” is probably the best art docu ever. This deep dive into how the art world prices things and how much they hide and manipulate the image of a particular painting is both educational and entertaining. Biggest lesson I learned from the movie? Never cross a billionaire Russian warlord.

10) Nobody – What I liked about Nobody was that it was a John Wick movie but if someone put the movie’s forehead on a bat, made them spin around 50 times, then forced them to run a 100 yard dash. There was an ‘off-kilter’ quality to Bob Odenkirk’s pursuit that made for a kooky hero’s journey. Even the fighting scenes (like the famous bus fight) were unique. And you need that uniqueness in a sea of clones.

9) Free Guy – Possibly the most Ryan Reynolds Ryan Reynolds movie of Ryan Reynold’s career. Fun little premise. Love that this was a naked spec. We haven’t had one of those in the Top 10 of the box office in at least a decade. And unlike West Side Story, Free Guy is the perfect movie to release during a pandemic as it’s an ideal escape. Two hours of feeling good. Sign me up.

8) The Beta Test – Not many people have heard of this one. It’s about a married Hollywood agent who gets an invitation in the mail saying someone wants to have an anonymous sexual encounter with him. Against his better judgement, he decides to do it, and then must suffer through the consequences of doing so. Shades of American Psycho. A very cool directing debut. The acting is a bit uneven but this one shocked me with how good it was.

7) Ghostbusters: Afterlife – Another movie I watched that was only interested in one thing (making you feel good). While I get the nostalgia criticism, I felt that the screenplay was tight and built well towards its climax. I thought it was funny. Podcast was my favorite movie character of 2021 (only half-joking). I didn’t know Reitman had it in him but this was good!

6) Malignant – That twist. THAT TWIST! I don’t know if I could ever watch this movie again because the first 90 minutes are so bad but THAT TWIST. I don’t think a movie has ever made my Top 10 on a twist alone but Malignant just did it.

5) Voyeurs – This may be a case of me being a fan of the voyeur subject matter. It could also be a case of me falling in love with Sydney Sweeney after White Lotus. Either way, this was a simple premise done well. And what do I always tell you guys? Keep it simple! One of the many benefits of doing so is that you keep your production budget low, which increases potential buyers. This entire movie was basically shot in two apartments.

4) Boiling Point – Was just talking about this the other day. A one-shot tension filled restaurant thriller. If your screenplay lacks tension, watch this movie right now then spend the next few ways deconstructing how every scene is packed with conflict. You’ll never write the same way again.

3) Bad Trip – The hardest I’ve laughed during a comedy in I don’t know how long. Taking the hidden-camera gimmick and integrating it into a cohesive narrative was genius. I still don’t know how they pulled some of this off. This movie was unforgettable.

2.5) Coda – Why 2.5? Cause I forgot to include it and, therefore, had to squeeze it in. A tear-jerker that actually turns you into a biological waterfall. Wholly unique. Impossible not to fall in love with the family. Go watch this if you haven’t already!

2) I Care A Lot – You knew it was coming! I did a dialogue scene breakdown for I Care A Lot in one of the best written scenes of the year. This movie isn’t perfect. And those who criticize it for not having anyone to root for have a fair point. But I just loved the way this offbeat plot emerged. So cool to see J Blakeson back in the ‘hot director’ chair. I fully expect him to blow up from here.

1) Riders of Justice – If there’s a theme that connects these top three entries, “unexpected” would probably be it. No movie had me more flummoxed (in a good way) than this one. The movie was so good that super producer, Shawn Levy, optioned it for a remake. I don’t know how they’re going to adapt this quirky character piece slash action revenge tale for American audiences and not confuse the moviegoing universe but I’m there to find out!

And that’s my list! Are there any amaaaaaa-zing 2021 movies that I missed?

THOUGHTS ON THE 2021 BLACK LIST!

My initial thoughts on the list are, “You know, this isn’t half bad.” This year’s list, unlike recent years, seems to be celebrating the best ideas as opposed to following agendas. Of course we still have mainstays such as ‘the true story of this celebrity nobody actually cares about’ and a few concepts that would, shall we say, be applauded by the Twitter crowd. But, by and far, the list seems to be about the best ideas. And that’s all I’ve ever wanted from the Black List.

Another thing I noticed is that Franklin Leonard, as reclusive and curmudgeonly as he is, seems to *sort of* be listening to feedback. We’ve gone from 80 screenplays to only 60 this year. I still think topping out at 25 would make the list so much more exclusive and prestigious. But this is a good first step. When you have 80 scripts on the list, all you’re doing is providing the public with a receipt of every script that agents sent out that year.

To build a little suspense, I’m going to tackle these in REVERSE ORDER. Lowest votes first all the way up to the top voted script. I’m also going to be **HIGHLIGHTING** my favorite concepts, so you’ll know exactly what’s gotten me all hot and bothered. Let’s get started, shall we?

7 votes
Title: Ways to Hide In Winter
Writer: Jenny Halper
Logline: A woman in rural Pennsylvania falls in love with a stranger from Uzbekistan, then finds out he may be responsible for war crimes. Based on Sarah St. Vincent’s acclaimed debut novel.
Thoughts: Obviously, this one is based on a novel and therefore there’s probably a lot more going on here than what’s in the logline. It’s given me flashbacks to that Jason Reitman movie with Kate Winslet and Josh Brolin, Labor Day. Without saying much more, that doesn’t inspire a lot of confidence.

7 votes
Title: The Way You Remember Me
Writer: Geoffrey Roth
Logline: Following the death of her vivacious, entrepreneurial, thirtysomething son Ben, Laurie learns that he had frozen some of his sperm before his passing. As she embarks on an unconventional journey in search of someone who may bear Ben’s child, Laurie forges an unexpected friendship with a woman, who, in turn, starts to fall for the memory of him.
Thoughts: This sounds a little bit like if John Greene and Nicholas Sparks had a screenplay baby then had the Hallmark channel breastfeed him. Then again, this is a logline. There are ways to explore these stories in a sophisticated compelling manner and ways to explore them in a schmaltzy melodramatic manner. I hope this is the former!

7 votes
Title: The Unbound
Writer: Sam West
Logline: Disillusioned with life in the wake of a personal tragedy, Rachel goes on a mountain retreat with her friends in search of an escape, only to find themselves stumbling into the depths of horror and madness.
Thoughts: This is a classic logline mistake so I’m guessing some freshly hired assistant wrote it. You have kept the only thing that would make anybody want to read this script a secret (“only to find themselves stumbling into the depths of horror and madness”). We need details. What horror? What kind of madness? What are the specific details of these events? Without knowing, nobody will want to read this. Cause I read a dozen scripts a year about people mountain climbing. Tell me why yours is different. Another reason to use my logline service! (E-mail carsonreeves1@gmail.com for a logline consult. They’re just $25!)

7 votes
Title: Thicker Than Ice
Writer: Tara Tomicevic
Logline: Inspired by the true story of Hannah and Marissa Brandt, adoptive sisters and hockey players who put their relationship to the test as they vie for Olympic glory… on different teams: top-ranked Team USA and Korea’s first ever unified team.
Thoughts: First of all, kudos to the writer for finding a different kind of true story. This sounds different from everything else out there. But there’s a fatal flaw in the premise, which is that it contains two different movies. On the one hand, you have two sisters forced to play sports for two different teams on the Olympics. That’s a movie right there. But then you also have the first ever unified Korean female hockey team, which is clearly a movie unto itself. Too many ideas has killed more screenplays than I can count.

7 votes
Title: Sleep Solution
Writers: Ted Caplan, Jenni Hendricks
Logline: Two former thieves are having a hard enough time with their fussy newborn baby when a mishap draws them back into their old lives, forcing them to recover a priceless jade bangle, escape their boss’s murderous son and, toughest of all, get their baby to sleep through the night.
Thoughts: At this point we might as well add the “three crazy things” approach to the logline vernacular since it’s used so often. I’ve always had problems with this approach as it indicates that you don’t really have a good idea so you’re forced to throw three crazy things at us in the hopes that it will make up for that fact. The only time it works is when the three things are genuinely awesome. But, first of all, I don’t even know what a jade bangle is. And I doubt most people do. So, already, right there, you’ve kind of screwed yourself. Because the second people are confused in your logline, you’re done. Straight up, you’re done. If you can’t be clear in one sentence, why would someone think you could be clear with 100 pages. This logline is too messy to give me hope.

7 votes
Title: Max and Tony’s One Night Stand
Writer: Thomas Kivney
Logline: A disastrous Grindr hookup goes from bad to worse when a meteor unleashes a horde of aliens on New York and the two ill-matched men must depend on each other to make it through the night alive.
Thoughts: This is one of those ideas that could either be really stupid… or really awesome. I only say it could be stupid because I read a lot of scripts like this and the chaos has a tendency to get so ridiculous, you cease to be emotionally invested. It’s just a bunch of silly gags that run out of gas by the midpoint. If this script has three hilarious set pieces, though, that’s enough for a fun movie.

7 votes.
Title: Lift
Writer: Daniel Kunka
Logline: A female master thief and her ex-boyfriend who works for the FBI team up to steal $100M worth of gold bullion being transported on a 777 passenger flight from London to Zurich.
Thoughts: You know I love myself a plane concept! Throw a heist premise into the mix and you have yourself a movie. I’m a little concerned about whether there’s enough plot here to last an entire movie. I guess it depends on how big you want to go (do they send military planes up after them or is everything going to be relegated to the plane). It’s a fun premise but it feels like it’s missing one more piece.

7 votes
Title: Killers and Diplomats
Writers: John Tyler McClain, Michael Nourse
Logline: The true story of the murder of four American churchwomen in El Salvador in 1980 and the low-level American diplomat who teamed with his most dangerous informant to smoke out their killers. Based on Raymond Bonner’s work for The Atlantic.
Thoughts: While I would love to be positive here, when I heard, “The true story of the murder of four American…” my brain went into a mini-seizure. I’ve seen so many loglines start this way I can’t even count them. I’m looking for the unique element here that sets this apart from every other true story rescue mission but I’m not seeing it.

7 votes
Title: An Ideal Woman
Writer: Laura Kosann
Logline: Set in American suburbia during the Cuban Missile Crisis: A 1960s ex-actress and housewife finds her house-of-cards world begin to tumble as she continues to be pitted against two identities.
Thoughts: I’ll rule this one as ID2ILL, which stands for “Incomplete Due To Insufficient Logline Info.” The thing you don’t want to do with your logline is cause confusion or a lack of understanding. “Pitted against two identities.” What does that even mean? I guess it has something to do with her being an actress and she becomes one of her parts? Who knows? This logline needs to be way more specific to entice people into reading it.

7 votes
Title: The Family Plan
Writer: David Coggeshall
Logline: A former top assassin living incognito as a suburban dad must take his unsuspecting family on the run when his past catches up to him.
Thoughts: Okay, we’ve just located the single most generic logline of the year. I know I say this all the time but, still, people obviously don’t listen so I’ll say it again. What is the unique component about your story? Whatever that is, make sure it’s highlighted in the logline! I may have just dogged An Ideal Woman but at least that logline had “1960s,” “Cuban Missile Crisis,” “Ex-actress.” These are unique things that paint a picture of a specific story in the reader’s head. We don’t get even a hint of that here.

7 votes
Title: False Truth
Writers: Thomas Berry, Isaac Gabaeff, Nathan Gabaeff
Logline: The life of a cynical San Francisco criminal lawyer at the top of his career unravels when he agrees to represent a father accused of killing his infant son in an extraordinary case that challenges widely accepted medical beliefs, a biased justice system, and his own personal worldview. Based on true events.
Thoughts: This isn’t my thing but I understand why these scripts are written. Actors LOVE PLAYING these parts. They love playing lawyers who are going up against impossible odds with heavy emotional stakes involved. Grab a great actor for this part and you’re in the awards conversation. Done.

7 votes
Title: Dennis Rodman’s 48 Hours In Vegas (link)
Writer: Jordan VanDina
Logline: Before Game 7 of the NBA finals, Dennis Rodman tells Phil Jackson he needs 48 hours in Vegas. What follows is a surreal adventure with his skittish assistant GM that involves a bull rodeo, parachuting out of a Ferrari and building a friendship that neither one of them ever thought was possible but will end up solving both of their problems.
Thoughts: Oh boy. I’ve already reviewed this one and it’s not a bad script but when you’ve got that kind of title, your expectations are as high as a parachuting Ferrari. So when that parachute doesn’t open and you crash into the ground like Wil E. Coyote, you don’t exactly remember the experience fondly.

7 votes
Title: The Dark
Writer: Chad Handley
Logline: When stranded on the far end of Manhattan by a mysterious city-wide blackout, a group of inner-city middle schoolers must fight through seemingly supernatural forces to make their way back to their parents in the Bronx.
Thoughts: I’m a little frustrated by the term “seemingly supernatural forces.” I would rather the writer tell us what the forces are so we understand what kind of movie we’re reading. But this is the first script so far that feels like a movie. Clear shades of Attack The Block.

7 votes
Title: Carriage Hill
Writers: Emi Mochizuki, Carrie Wilson
Logline: A pregnant couple hoping to start their family in the suburbs find themselves embroiled in a decades long mystery which threatens to shatter their American dream.
Thoughts: ID2ILL – What’s the decades long mystery? TELL US! That’s what’s going to make us want to read the script! This sounds like it could be good but because I don’t have enough information, the script goes deeper into the pile.

7 votes
Title: Blackpill
Writer: Alexandra Serio
Logline: Awkward and lonely, Jared is only able to find a community online — until the day he realizes that his favorite Youtuber lives nearby. Desperate for a connection, he becomes determined to find a way into her life… whether she wants it or not.
Thoughts: Seems like we’re getting more and more of these “influencer stalker” concepts. And since I like stalker concepts, I’ll keep reading them! As you know, one of my favorite recent reads was Lurker, which covered similar subject matter.

7 votes
Title: Bella
Writer: Chris Grillot
Logline: A young college student is forced to confront her family’s dark past when a mysterious stalker appears, derailing her life and sending her spiraling into a web of anxiety and paranoia.
Thoughts: Stalker deja vu! Unfortunately, there aren’t enough unique details to get me excited about this script. There are plenty of examples of basic premises that turn out to be great scripts because the writer has an amazing voice or they just execute the sh#t out of the story. But if you’re one of these writers who has a great script with only a basic premise, you have to gussy up the logline just a little bit more so your script doesn’t sound generic.

7 votes
Title: APEX
Writer: Jeremy Robbins
Logline: When an adrenaline junkie sets out to conquer a menacing river, she discovers that nature isn’t the only thing out for blood.
Thougths: Time for another acronym! GELS. Generic Ending Logline Syndrome. What *is* out for blood!? Tell us! Or nobody’s going to want to read the script.

8 votes
Title: St. Mary’s Catholic School Presents The Vagina Monologues
Writers: Hannah Hafey, Kaitlin Smith
Logline: Frustrated by the conservative curriculum at her high school, a rebellious teen girl decides to stage the school’s first ever production of The Vagina Monologues. Which is going to be a challenge, as no one else at St. Mary’s can even bear to say the word ‘vagina’ out loud . . . Based on Flynn Meaney’s Bad Habits.
Thoughts: While this might not be aimed at my demo, I appreciate any well-constructed ironic premise as irony is the quickest way to create a “I have to read this” logline. And kudos to the writer for putting the entire premise right there in the title, making it easy for lazy potential readers to get hooked without even having to read a logline. Okay, things are starting to pick up here!

8 votes
Title: A Nice Indian Boy
Writers: Eric Randall
Logline: When Naveen brings his fiance Jay home to meet his family, his traditional Indian parents must contend with accepting his white partner and helping them plan the most fabulous same sex Indian wedding the Bay Area has ever seen.
Thoughts: As one of my best friends is Indian and I saw all the insanity he had to go through with his family when he married a white woman (his parents were disowned by some of their cousins), I can only imagine the endless supply of conflict a premise like this offers. You have to get the execution right. But the writer has a great entry point into a movie.

8 votes
Title: A Hufflepuff Love Story
Writer: Sophia Lopez
Logline: Unpopular Hogwarts student Finn blames everything bad in his life on being sorted into Hufflepuff rather than Gryffindor with Harry Potter and the cool kids. So when he discovers a chance to go back in time and fix that, he takes it — only to discover things aren’t quite as simple as he’d imagined.
Thoughts: The weird Harry Potter ideas continue to make the Black List!. This is basically fan fiction which means it’s a script that can never be made. However, you can get noticed with fan fiction and, obviously, by making the Black List, this writer has achieved that. And since it’s all about getting noticed, I applaud the writer! Whatever it takes.

8 votes
Title: Hello Universe
Writer: Michael Golamco
Logline: When a bully’s antics land a timid boy in the bottom of a well, his self-proclaimed psychic friend and unknowing crush team up to find him. Based on the 2017 book by Erin Entrada Kelly.
Thoughts: There are two kinds of children’s movie ideas. The kind that appeal to kids and the kind that appeal to both kids and adults. This seems more like the former which is why I’m not over the moon about it. But it does feel like one of those sweet harmless movies that, if you caught on a plane, you might break into tears during the climax (everybody cries when watching movies on the plane. Anyone who tells you differently is a liar!).

************CARSON PICK************
************CARSON PICK************
8 votes
Title: Go Dark
Writers: Josh Marentette, Spencer Marentette
Logline: A team of black-ops soldiers use an experimental technology to travel into the afterlife and rescue their dead teammate.
Thoughts: We’ve got our first super high-concept entry into the 2021 Black List. WOOOOO-HOOOOO! Bring back the 90s spec boom! Bring back the 90s spec boom! Come on, I can’t hear you. Bring back the 90s spec boom! This feels like a script that wouldn’t have made the list without the success of The Tomorrow War so thank you Chris Pratt.
************CARSON PICK************
************CARSON PICK************

8 votes
Title: From Little Acorns Grow
Writer: Laura Kosann
Logline: After a woman becomes one of the first female presidents of a 1950s publishing house in New York, she draws a former college classmate into her orbit, who soon finds her literary empire is not what it appears to be.
Thoughts: Everything was great up until, “is not what it appears to be.” Literally the entire logline falls apart in that moment. What isn’t what it appears to be? Tell us and we’ll probably want to read your script. For those of you who counter this logic with, “Well we want to retain the secrets of our story.” It doesn’t matter if nobody wants to read the script in the first place.

8 votes
Title: Four Assassins (And A Funeral)
Writer: Ryan Hooper
Logline: The adoptive daughter of a legendary assassin returns home for his funeral… and finds herself in the crosshairs of her four highly trained, highly dangerous siblings.
Thoughts: Okay, first of all? Best title so far. This one has potential. It’s very high concept yet doesn’t require a big budget. I’m always a little squirrely about comedy concepts that have family members trying to kill each other because you know that – since it’s a comedy – nobody’s actually going to kill their sibling. But the script’s got a good starting point.

8 votes
Title: The First Outside
Writer: Yumiko Fujiwara
Logline: Peter, a seventeen-year-old painter, lives with his controlling mother in a lonely house in the wilderness. When he meets a mysterious stranger, he begins to question the reality he was raised to believe, gathers the courage to leave his mother, and unveils the sinister truth behind his upbringing.
Thoughts: I’ve read so many versions of this story before. And, unfortunately, the logline doesn’t tell me anything that would indicate this is going to be different from those scripts. One thing the writer could’ve keyed in on was the mysterious stranger. Tell us more about them. What makes them unique. That might’ve piqued my interest. But the current logline feels too general to get me excited.

8 votes
Title: The Devil Herself
Writer: Colin Bannon
Logline: When an elite assassin is sent to the haunted Harz Mountains in Germany on an extraction job she intends to be her last, she quickly learns that the local legends about witchcraft are true and must face a sinister supernatural threat.
Thoughts: Okay now this is a cool idea. We’re mixing genres (assassins, the supernatural) which is always a great way to find some high concepts hiding in the shadows. And the idea of an assassin battling witchcraft gives me the tingles. This one could be fun.

8 votes
Title: Barron’s Cove
Writer: Evan Ari Kelman
Logline: When his young son is viciously murdered by a classmate, a grieving father with a history of violence kidnaps the child responsible, igniting a frenzied manhunt fueled by a powerful politician — the father of the kidnapped boy.
Thoughts: This is how you perform a final logline PUNCH, which is a great way to end your logline in style. You build up to it, insert the hyphen, then finish with the hammer punchline. That I liked. What I’m not sure about is young children viciously murdering other children. Does that even happen? And now you’ve got a dad kidnapping a young child who he’s possibly going to harm? I don’t know. Sounds like a dental floss thin rope you’re going to have to walk.

8 votes
Title: Ballast
Writer: Justin Piasecki
Logline: A naval engineer and her crew find themselves trapped in a deadly game on a shipping vessel in the middle of the Atlantic when they learn a series of car bombs are hidden amongst the thousands of vehicles on board.
Thoughts: MAJOR points for coming up with an original high-concept premise. I’ve never encountered anything like this setup before. My worry would be script repetition. After they find and defuse several bombs, what then? Do we just keep looking for more? If the script has a plan to push the narrative beyond that, this could be really fun.

9 votes
Title: It Was You
Writer: William Yu
Logline: With the future of Manhattan’s Chinatown at stake, a stubborn store clerk battles against an innovative CEO’s expansion plan, while both are unaware they’ve been falling in love with each other on a new, anonymous dating app.
Thoughts: I saw some people praising this one as a modern take on You’ve Got Mail (and The Shop Around The Corner). My only concern is that it sort of feels like one of those situations you might find in an episode of a teen TV show. So I’m wondering if it’s big enough. I guess the counter argument to that is the CEO angle. That’s what makes the concept big enough for a movie. I don’t know. I’m lukewarm on this one. I’ll put it in the “has the potential to surprise me” pile.

9 votes
Title: IDOL
Writer: Tricia Lee
Logline: The true story of American Idol viral sensation, William Hung.
Thoughts: When I originally wrote up this list, I missed this entry. That may have been the universe speaking to both me and anyone who wants to make this film. Oh COME ON. I kid. I kid. Who doesn’t love William Hung. SHE BANGS, SHE BANGS! I wonder if this will be a satirical take or a serious take. Oh, who am I kidding. I don’t wonder at all.

9 votes
Title: Hard to Get
Writer: Dan Schoffer
Logline: After Amanda is seemingly ghosted by the man of her dreams, she’s delighted to discover he’s actually been kidnapped — and takes it upon herself to be his rescuer, going on an adventure of epic proportions along the way.
Thoughts: I’m digging this one. I smile every time I read “she’s delighted to discover he’s actually been kidnapped.” Again, my friends – IRONY! Irony is so powerful in loglines. You’re not supposed to be happy that your boyfriend was kidnapped which is why this works. I also like the genre-switch of the female knight going to save her prince-cess.

9 votes
Title: Fiendish
Writer: Edgar Castillo
Logline: While meeting her boyfriend’s dysfunctional family at their ancestral manor, a young woman finds herself entangled in a bizarre and terrifying mystery when the family’s patriarch claims to have been cursed by a demon.
Thoughts: Hmm, this reads like an ‘almost’ idea. There’s clearly *something* here – the starting point for a movie. And the demon is clearly a callback to the ancestral manor, so there is connection between the first and second halves of the logline (something a lot of writers don’t do). But the logline seems to be missing that “and then what” story beat that really gets us excited to read the script.

9 votes
Title: Chicago For One
Writer: Madeleine Paul
Logline: Based on Robbie Chernow’s hilarious viral solo adventure, a newly heart-broken groomsman takes Chicago by storm celebrating a solo Bachelor Party Weekend after the rest of the party — including the groom — get stuck over 700 miles away.
Thoughts: A fun idea. Again, we’ve got a little bit of irony there. Parties are supposed to contain multiple people by definition. So a single person party is ironic. Plus it’s a party with stakes attached to it since it’s a once-in-lifetime ordeal. I think I would’ve liked this better, though, if it was about a guy who was about to get married, his fiancé broke up with him, but he still had this giant bachelor party paid for and decided to do it anyway, even though all the other guys dropped out.

9 votes
Title: Challengers
Writer: Justin Kuritzkes
Logline: Framed around a single tennis match at a low-level pro tournament, three players who knew each other when they were teenagers — a world-famous grand slam winner, his ambitious wife/coach, and their old friend who’s now a burnout ranked 201 in the world — reignite old rivalries on and off the court.
Thoughts: Now you would THINK that this would be my number one most anticipated screenplay, seeing as I’m a big tennis nut. But here’s the thing. I don’t think it’s possible to write a good tennis movie. I’ve tried it several times myself. I’ve worked with several other writers writing them. There’s something about tennis that doesn’t translate well to film. So I’ll read this. But it kind of sounds like your basic talking heads drama. I’m not seeing that “ace” angle here. Also, why is a grand slam winner at a challenger tournament? I mean, duh, that’s the first thing all of you were thinking, right?

10 votes
Title: Skeleton Tree
Writer: Paul Barry
Logline: When an accident sinks their boat, two teenaged boys must learn how to survive the wilds of the remote Alaskan coastline, endure one another, and to come to terms with a long-held life-altering secret.
Thoughts: Lord of the Flies, but with two flies. Can it work? Hey, survival can work as the sole motivator for a narrative because the stakes are literally life and death. And the less apt the characters are at surviving, the more interesting the story tends to be. Since our characters here are young, I’m assuming they’re not well-equipped for survival. This could be good!

10 votes
Title: Shania!
Writer: Jessica Welsh
Logline: Eilleen Edwards rises from an impoverished upbringing in rural Canada to transform into 90’s global country-pop superstar Shania Twain, only to face her greatest challenge yet: putting her life and career back together after losing her voice.
Thoughts: I mean, this logline seems tailor designed to make me dislike it. Not only do you have a music biopic. You’ve got an artist whose music I don’t care for. I don’t know. It seems like we can do better. How about concentrating on a single concert so we at least have some urgency to the story. Otherwise, loglines like this give me PTSD.

10 votes
Title: Sandpiper
Writer: Lindsay Michel
Logline: Still reeling in the wake of her husband’s death, master thief Viola Crier signs on to a risky, last-minute job set to take place inside a man-made time loop, but as the number of loops increases, the job begins to spiral out of control.
Thoughts: I’m pretty sure I highlighted this spec in a newsletter. I’m digging the new angle on the loop movie. And it seems the story gets even more weird as the loop rules start to change once inside the loop. I’ll definitely read this one.

10 votes
Title: Operation Milk & Cookies
Writer: M. Miller Davis
Logline: After their house is threatened with repossession, a mismatched group of foster kids set out on an adventure to summon Santa Claus to save their home and end up on the run from a crew of angry bank robbers.
Thoughts: Oh my god. What a great holiday film title. The concept itself feels a little light under the gortex jacket. But this one will definitely make the pre-Christmas read list here at Scriptshadow.

10 votes
Title: Mimi
Writer: Scarlett Bermingham
Logline: A successful illustrator finds herself friendless after her best friend gets engaged, forcing her to embark on an epic quest to “date” for new girlfriends — as an adult.
Thoughts: This, like It Was You, is a fun idea. But it’s also one of those ideas that feels like a TV episode. I think this was actually a Friends episode, wasn’t it? Still, if the writer is funny, we could have a funny script on our hands.

10 votes
Title: Follow
Writer: Michael Kujak
Logline: When a social media influencer meets a fan at a meet-and-greet, she’s so taken with her cleverness and vulnerability that she invites the fan to intern with her for the summer. At first, they’re an unstoppable team, but soon, the influencer is forced to wonder who she has let into her life.
Thoughts: Okay, that’s it. The social media stalker movie is now officially a new genre. This is why I hate that the Black List doesn’t include genres because I don’t know if this a light comedy, a dark comedy, or the second coming of The Cable Guy. Where it falls on that list has a major influence over how much I want to read it.

10 votes
Title: Cruel Summer
Writers: Leigh Cesiro, Erica Matlin
Logline: During the summer of 1998, five camp counselors accidentally kill a stranger in the woods.
Thoughts: Very common setup. Not seeing anything original here. It almost seems like the manager wants to hide the concept from the prying eyes of Black List readers. Which is fine by me. But it makes me not very excited to read your script.

10 votes
Title: Abbi and the Eighth Wonder
Writer: Matt Roller
Logline: When a misogynist explorer meets his sudden (and violent) end, his long-overlooked understudy seizes the moment and embarks on an adventure that will earn her a place in the annals of history.
Thoughts: This sounds fun. Sort of like a comedic version of Raiders. I always say that the easiest way to find an idea is to take a popular movie and come up with the comedy version of it. The understudy angle implies all sorts of struggle and shenanigans, which are both great for comedy. Sounds pretty good!

11 votes
Title: Yasuke
Writer: Stuart C. Paul
Logline: The true story of the first and only African Samurai in feudal Japan who rose from being a slave for the Jesuits to fighting as a Samurai in the unification of Japan.
Thoughts: You know me. I’m not a true story guy. But I like this idea a lot. Not only do you have the fish out of water element, which is one of the most bankable setups in screenwriting, but I like that we’re telling a unique story about a black slave. So many of these concepts I’m seeing with slavery are on the nose. This is whatever the opposite of on the nose is. And that’s what makes it sound so cool.

11 votes
Title: Wheels Come Off
Writer: Kryzz Gautier
Logline: In the year 2065, a fiery teenager with a wild imagination, her paraplegic mom, and their clueless robot struggle to navigate the post-apocalypse; but when the mother’s wheelchair breaks, the trio must venture out into the dangerous “outside” for a chance to survive.
Thoughts: Let me say this. If you would’ve sent me the logline for Street Rat Allie Punches Her Ticket without context, I would not want to read it. But that screenplay turned out to be great. This seems to exist in that same universe, so I’m curious about it. But, if I’m being honest, the logline reads a little messy.

11 votes
Title: Jellyfish Days
Writers: Matthew Kic, Mike Sorce
Logline: A young woman and her devoted boyfriend’s lives are dramatically altered by a medical procedure that could potentially quadruple their lifespans.
Thoughts: This is a classic “And” logline. Annnnndddd?????? It could quadruple their lives AND then what? Where’s the conflict. Without conflict, it’s an idea. It’s not yet a movie. Maybe the movie is hidden in a longer logline but then I would’ve liked to see that logline. It’s not a bad idea. It’s just incomplete.

11 votes
Title: Indigo
Writer: Ola Shokunbi
Logline: An art thief who takes priceless objects from museums and private collections and redistributes them to their original countries of ownership is tracked by a dogged FBI Agent across the globe.
Thoughts: This seems a little too “do-gooder” to me. It’s like, ohhhh, you’re such a good person for returning these items to their rightful countries! How good of you! That’s so good! You must feel really good about yourself. Give me a break. Someone else read this and let me know if the FBI agent wins. Cause if they do, I’ll give it a read.

11 votes
Title: Candlewood
Writers: Jason Benjamin, Jessica Granger
Logline: In 1992 a seaplane crash in a lakefront community sparks a relationship between three young sisters and the mysterious, injured female pilot.
Thoughts: All right. A plane crash slant on Little Women. I’m with Larry David on this one. No more Little Women stories for me. But seriously, there’s a certain lack of dramatic excitement involved in stories where the plot seems to be about people becoming friends. It’s lightweight. There’s not enough conflict. I’m not saying it never works. There are, of course, many great movies about friendship. But it’s hard to get excited about reading screenplays with that setup is all I’m saying.

11 votes
Title: Believe Me
Writers: Hannah Mescon, Dreux Moreland
Logline: An absurdist biopic chronicling the many rises and falls of Donald Trump, culminating with that fateful night at the 2011 Correspondent’s Dinner.
Thoughts: What’s that old adage? Know your audience? Mescon and Moreland certainly know their audience by throwing a Donald Trump script into the Hollywood butter churner. And, to their credit, they’re giving us an unexpected angle. I’m not aware of what happened at the 2011 Correspondent’s Dinner. But I’m, like a lot of people, burnt out on political stuff so I probably won’t check this out.

12 votes
Title: Symphony of Survival
Writer: Daniel Persitz
Logline: The incredible true story of Russian composer Dmitri Shostakovich writing an epic symphony during the deadly World War II siege of Leningrad — a work of art so powerful it would save him and his family, all while helping to unite his people with the Allies.
Thoughts: Hmmmm… Part of me commends the writer for coming up with a new angle on World War 2 subject matter. The other part wonders if we’re stretching at this point. What’s next? The story of the German chef who created the strudel that ignited Germany’s appetite for world dominance? Where do we draw the line for World War 2 ideas???

12 votes
Title: MICHAEL BAY: THE EXPLOSIVE BIOPIC
Writer: Sean Tidwell
Logline: Packed with enough C4 to split an asteroid in two, this tell-all Michael Bay origin story reveals the explosions that defined him, the fire that ignited his little heart, and the fate that sealed his Hollywood destiny.
Thoughts: Very fun idea. Maybe a few years late but a satirical take on the master of the mindless blockbuster framed within one of these ubiquitous cradle-to-grave biopic formats? Lots of possibility for hilarity here. There’s only one thing wrong with this concept. And that’s that it’s one slot below the funniest concept on the list. Which is………

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12 votes
Title: The Masked Singer
Writers: Mike Jones, Nicholas Sherman
Logline: Mickey Rourke loses his mind after he’s forced to take a gig on television’s highest rated show: The Masked Singer.
Thoughts: Literally couldn’t stop laughing when I read this. First of all, Mickey Rourke thought he was above being on the Iron Man 2 set. He couldn’t stop complaining in one of the most professional and high-level productions in the business – a giant Marvel film. Can you imagine how angry he would be if he had to do a Masked Singer episode, the current bottom of the barrel for celebrities to get screen time. I honestly couldn’t imagine a single minute going by in this movie that wasn’t funny. It’s a genius concept.
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12 votes
Title: Lady Krylon
Writer: Brandon Constantine
Logline: Two rival graffiti artists engage in a series of street battles, culminating in an otherworldy duel after the art starts bleeding into the real world.
Thoughts: “…after the art starts bleeding into the real world.” What. Does. That. Mean??????? Two rival graffiti artists engage in a series of street battles, culminating in an otherworldy duel where the characters they’ve painted come alive to fight by their side. I don’t know if that’s what happens but that’s how you want to write it. You want to actually TELL. US. WHAT. HAPPENS.

13 votes
Title: Rabbit Season
Writer: Shanrah Wakefield
Logline: Supernatural horror about a woman stalked through a dark city park by the most monstrous manifestation of manhood during her walk home from her high school reunion.
Thoughts: Seems like a supernatural version of Get Home Safe, which isn’t a bad idea. It’s going to be hard to top that script though with the voice being so strong. Also, not sure how you extend a chase through a park for 90 pages. I can walk through most parks in five minutes.

13 votes
Title: Loud
Writer: Whit Brayton
Logline: A famed experimental musician finds himself embroiled in the race to solve Earth’s primary existential threat: A deafening sound that never stops, forcing all of humanity to survive in silence.
Thoughts: This is one of the most interesting entries on the list but not for the usual reasons. If you have this annoying sound as the main source of conflict, then won’t you annoy audiences by playing it? Or will it just be implied and we’ll sit in silence the whole movie? I do like the unique antagonist though. I’ve never seen that before. Curious about this one.

13 votes
Title: Hotel Hotel Hotel Hotel
Writer: Michael Shanks
Logline: A man wakes up trapped in a mysterious hotel room. All alone in a mind-bending prison, his only chance for escape is teamwork: with himself.
Thoughts: First of all, I love this title. I don’t know why but something about it tickles my curiosity. As for the concept, these super-cheap contained trippy ideas that focus on multipel versions of the same character – I see them a lot. And they’re REALLLLY HARD to extend out to a full 90 minutes. So I’m skeptical but, hey, that doesn’t mean it can’t be done.

13 votes
Title: Hot Girl Summer
Writer: Michelle Askew
Logline: After witnessing a drug deal gone wrong, thirteen-year-old (and exceptionally awkward) Beatrice accidentally finds herself in the middle of an underground drug ring…and on the perfect route to having a proper hot girl summer.
Thoughts: I don’t think you should ever include parenthesis in loglines. They always gum up the logline and loglines are meant to be clean and easy to read. The one exception, though, is comedy loglines. You can have more fun with those. And the parentheses, ironically, are actually what save this logline. Cause without knowing that a girl who was trying to be hot was “exceptionally awkward,” I wouldn’t have understood the point.

13 votes
Title: The College Dropout
Thomas Aguilar, Michael Ballin
Logline: A young Kanye West’s intimate journey to create his seminal first album that reinvented hip hop music.
Thoughts: You knew it was coming, right? We all knew it was coming. In an industry dead set on excavating every musical biopic opportunity it can find, Kanye was going to be in the mix at some point. To be fair, Kanye is one of the more interesting individuals out there. He doesn’t follow the flock. He’s bi-polar. He’s had tragedy that’s defined him. There’s a lot to dig into there. But, in the end, it’s still a music biopic. You can’t escape that prison.

13 votes
Title: Air Jordan
Writer: Alex Convery
Logline: The wild true story of how an upstart shoe company named Nike landed the most influential endorsement in sports history: Michael Jordan.
Thoughts: Just when I thought the list couldn’t get more unoriginal… they did it. Does this story really need to be told?? You’re talking to someone who loves Michael Jordan! I used to go watch him play in the old Chicago Stadium. I should be the prime audience here and I even think this is the most boring angle into this man. We get it. Nike was lucky to get Jordan and the two sides flourished for 30 years together. There, I just told you the entire story.

14 votes
Title: *Weird
Writer: Augustus Schiff
Logline: An autistic kid tries to do normal college things — making friends, figuring out if girls like him, getting over his mom’s death — while seeing life in his own “musical” way.
Thoughts: You never know if these tug-at-the-heartstrings scripts are going to be cheesy and maudlin or complex interesting character studies. So I’ll reserve judgement here. But based on the logline alone, I’m getting a slight “try hard” vibe.

15 votes
Title: Whittier
Writers: Filipe Coutinho, Ben Mehlman
Logline: While looking into a client’s murder, a Los Angeles social worker stumbles on a political conspiracy in the wake of the 1987 Whittier earthquake.
Thoughts: I like murder mysteries that collide with unexpected scenarios. So I like that there’s an earthquake angle to this investigation. Seems like Coutinho and Mehlman are Chinatown fans. If you’re going to be inspired, why not be inspired by the best?

15 votes
Title: Homecoming
Writers: Murder Ink (Brandon Broussard, Hudson Obayuwana, Jana Savage)
Logline: Ten years after graduation, one of New York’s most eligible bachelors and his eccentric wanderlust wingman try to pull their recently divorced friend out of his rut by taking him back to Howard University’s legendary Homecoming for the best weekend of their lives.
Thoughts: I don’t have much reaction to this logline since I don’t know what’s legendary about Howard’s homecoming. Seems very specific. But I love that these three writers have marketed themselves with this very memorable name. It can be hard to remember writers so anything that set you apart is helpful. If there are any 2-team or 3-team writers out there, I’d consider stealing this approach. Just make sure your name is as cool as “Murder Ink!”

15 votes
Title: Grizz
Writer: Connor Barry
Logline: A car accident strands a young paramedic in the rugged Pacific Northwest where she is hunted by a ravenous grizzly bear.
Thoughts: We’ve had a couple of bear-hunts-person scripts reviewed here on the site. One of them was pretty good. As far as this one that’s made the Black List, it seems too standard. You got to gussy it up a little, maybe tell us more about the main character. Anything to add more specificity. The less specificity you add, the more generic your premise will sound. Never forget that!

16 votes
Title: Mr. Benihana
Writer: Chris Wu
Logline: When a short Japanese kid from post-war Tokyo decides to make it big in the US of A, he discovers a winning recipe of exploiting his heritage with good old-fashioned American entertainment, to the great shame of his traditionalist father. This is the larger-than-life immigrant story of the OG daredevil playboy tycoon: the one-and-only Rocky Aoki.
Thoughts: I don’t know who this guy is and I’m biopic’d out. So I can’t muster a shred of excitement for this one.

17 votes
Title: In The End
Writer: Brian T. Arnold
Logline: In the near future, terminal patients are given the opportunity to go out with a bang with personalized VR “perfect endings.” But when the best Transition Specialist gets far too close to a patient, he finds himself questioning everything in his life.
Thoughts: Noooooooooo! You had such a good logline until the last eight words. “He finds himself questioning everything in his life” is literally the equivalent of writing, “I give up on this logline.” I’m going to promote my logline service a SECOND TIME in this article because, clearly, half of Hollywood needs it. $25. E-mail carsonreeves1@gmail.com with the subject line, “Logline.” I will help you!!!!

18 votes
Title: Mercury
Writer: Stefan Jaworski
Logline: When a first date takes a dangerous turn, down-on-his-luck Michael risks everything to save his newfound love from her past. Little does he know, the night — and his date — are not what they seem. Michael soon finds himself on a high-octane cat-and-mouse race across the city to save himself and uncover the truth, armed with nothing but his wit, his driving skills, and a 1969 Ford Mercury.
Thoughts: Can you market an entire concept around a car? Let’s see. “Christine” did it. “Gran Torino” did it. So yeah, I guess you can. But this logline is a mess. Neither people NOR nights are what they seem? So this is supernatural?? But it’s also a first date movie. And then also a cat-and-mouse movie? If the writer puts all these pieces together in a cohesive way, I’ll be happy. But usually when I see loglines this messy, I see scripts this messy.

19 votes
Title: Wait List
Writer: Carly J. Hallman
Logline: A troubled millennial from small-town Texas will do anything to get into her top-choice law school, including murder.
Thoughts: The logline is a little thin but the premise is strong enough that I can see a movie here. Remember what I always say – if you’ve got a dead body, you’ve got a movie.

19 votes
Title: Ultra
Writer: Colin Bannon
Logline: When an ultramarathoner learns he is one of ten contestants chosen to take part in a secret race known as “the hardest race on earth,” he is forced to confront his past when he realizes there are deadly consequences for breaking the rules.
Thoughts: Is this the script sale I covered recently in the newsletter? Or is it a competing idea? Either way, Colin Bannon seems to be one of the only people on this list who understands strong high concept ideas. And he gets extra points for not writing a script about the Michael Jordan flu game.

21 votes
Title: The Villain
Writer: Andrew Ferguson
Logline: The completely outrageous and completely true story of “pharma bro” Martin Shkreli — from his meteoric rise as wunderkind hedge fund manager and pharmaceutical executive to his devastating fall involving crime, corruption and the Wu-Tang Clan — which exposed the rotten core of the American healthcare system.
Thoughts: As we’ve established too many times to count, I’m not a fan of the biopic. However, if you’re going to do one, pick an interesting person. Martin Shkreli is like a real-life movie villain. His evilness is almost too good to be true. If you were to force me to read a biopic from this list, The Villain would be my first choice, hands down.

23 votes
Title: Killer Instinct
Writer: Lillian Yu
Logline: After a Hollywood assistant is publicly fired for admitting while on a conference call that he’d love to kill his boss, he finds his boss dead in the office the next morning and goes on the lam to figure out the real culprit, all while being hunted by his boss’s assassin.
Thoughts: This sounds fun! I didn’t love Yu’s previous Black List entry but this one feels more grounded, like something she could wrangle in. With Cicada, I felt like she didn’t know that world as well as the writers who dominated that space.

25 votes
Title: Divorce Party
Writer: Rebecca Webb
Logline: Patricia Ford feels pretty good about trading her South Boston roots for a “perfect” life on New York’s Upper East Side, until everything falls to shit and her raucous girlfriends throw her a Divorce Party at the home she’s about to lose. As the night goes from wild to totally insane, Patricia takes back control of her life.
Thoughts: Sounds very ‘girl power.’ But I’m more interested in ‘concept power,’ which this doesn’t seem to have a lot of. I do like the irony inherent in the title. A divorce is a sad/bad/depressing thing. Therefore, we’re used to seeing it next to sad/bad/depressing words. Not fun words like “party.” Which is why irony is so powerful. The reader thinks, “Wait? Party? Why are they partying for a divorce?? Let me check this out.”

30 votes
Title: See How They Run
Writer: Lily Hollander
Logline: A blind mother moves into a remote farmhouse with her young daughter, but the mystery of the home’s previous inhabitants intrudes upon her attempts to repair their relationship.
Thoughts: This logline is pretty bereft of details. Which is why the writer’s lucky it finished so high on the list. Because even though the logline itself doesn’t get me excited, I’m guessing the execution has to be pretty good to get 30 votes.

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32 votes
Title: Cauliflower
Writer: Daniel Jackson
Logline: Under the cruel guidance of a mysterious coach, an ambitious high school wrestler struggles to become a state champion while battling a bizarre infection in his ear that both makes him dominant in his sport and threatens his sanity.
Thoughts: I’m happy with this finishing number one on the list because it’s got a bunch of weird things going on that make me curious. The mysterious coach. The ear infection. The implication that the ear infection gives him some sort of advantage. Him losing his sanity. That’s how I like my Black List concepts to be baked up. In weird sauce. Now I just hope that the execution answers all these questions!
************CARSON PICK************
************CARSON PICK************

One final thought. The other day we talked about hustle being one of the primary ingredients for success. Well, here’s your chance to practice it. Every entry on the Black List comes with the corresponding manager and agent representing that writer. If any of these ideas sound like the kind of scripts you write, query that agent or manager with your logline. See if they’ll read it. Some, like the top guys at Verve, will be too busy. But you might be surprised at how many people respond to you. To get their contact info, just sign up for IMDB Pro and shoot them an e-mail. Good luck!