This is your chance to discuss the week’s amateur scripts, offered originally in the Scriptshadow newsletter. The primary goal for this discussion is to find out which script(s) is the best candidate for a future Amateur Friday review. The secondary goal is to keep things positive in the comments with constructive criticism.

Below are the scripts up for review, along with the download links. Want to receive the scripts early? Head over to the Contact page, e-mail us, and “Opt In” to the newsletter.

Happy reading!

TITLE: Abaddon
GENRE: Horror, sci-fi
LOGLINE: A team of marines and scientists board a spaceship, only to discover its crew have transformed into raging cannibals.
WHY YOU SHOULD READ (from writer): “After countless attempts to write a epic fiction (trying to run before learning to walk), I’ve learned about my strengths (plot-mapping, dialogue) and weaknesses (flowery language, vivid descriptions). So began my love of script writing. My first (polished) script, ‘Abaddon’ blends originality with familiarity. It contains the conventions of good horror, complete with twists, turns, and interesting/flawed characters trying to survive aboard a spaceship swarming with zombie-like savages. I appreciate any constructive criticism the SS community of passionate readers and writers can provide. Thank you.”

TITLE: DEADMEN
GENRE: Black Comedy Western/Thriller
LOGLINE: A beautiful woman persuades a washed up gunslinger in the West to commit suicide, and he does just that.
WHY YOU SHOULD READ (from writer): “I placed 2nd in this years Script Pipeline competition. This script has been developed since 2010, when the 1st draft was a semifinalist in the Austin Film Screenplay Competition.

What if Louie CK and Tarantino got together to do a Western…? That’s what Deadmen is.”

TITLE: SWAP
GENRE: Sci-Fi/Thriller.
LOGLINE: When a homicide detective learns that the murderer of a Senator was the victim of a high-tech setup, he then uncovers a conspiracy that makes him question everything he believes in, even himself.
WHY YOU SHOULD READ (from writer): “In 2003 I had a “concept” for a Sci-Fi movie but had never written a screenplay. My wife saw a news piece for a screenplay community on the Internet, where you could upload your work and get constructive reviews and help. I read the first ten pages of the “Terminator” to get an idea of formatting. Using Word templates and a few reference books, I knocked out the first draft of in a week. The formatting was terrible and the story was littered with mistakes. But I pushed on and learned/developed the craft though constructive feedback and hard work.

My ideas were always a little high concept (and budget) so I began to get interested in short scripts and independent film, to both learn and give me a chance at getting produced. 10 years later I’ve just started a draft of my 19th feature script and finished short script 120. So I guess it’s fair to say I’ve been bitten by the bug of screenwriting. I’ve had short films screened in Cannes, won and placed in contests (thrilled that Kenneth Branagh read and selected one of my scripts). But am I any closer to breaking into the business? Hell no! But I’m enjoying the journey and learning as I go.”

TITLE: STORM DRAGONS
GENRE: Epic Fantasy-Action/Adventure (in the vein of Game of Thrones, 300 and Gladiator)
LOGLINE: “In a mystical land where champions fight to the death to keep the peace, the revenge of a chosen warrior against the killer of his family risks starting the all out war he lives to prevent”
WHY YOU SHOULD READ (from writer): “With the growing general audience interest in the fantasy genre, specifically in adult epic stories like Game of Thrones (including yourself, right?), and after making the finals in 10 different screenplay contests, I believe that my script is ready to face your wisdom and get the answer to its main quest: Could it become the Game of Thrones of the Big Screen?”

TITLE: Blood Mountain
GENRE: Horror/Dark Comedy
LOGLINE: A group of friends filming a homemade comic book movie seek revenge on the bloodthirsty band of European vampires who murdered one of their actors.
WHY YOU SHOULD READ (from writer): “My script has GSU, an inciting incident, and something that ups the stakes as the story moves along, just like the SS articles emphasize. But just because I have that checklist, it doesn’t mean a thing until it is scrutinized by the best amateur writing community on the web. I’ve read quite a few Amateur offerings screenplays the last few months, and I haven’t rushed this along before it’s ready, like some others I’ve read. This is no first draft. The only question is, and it’s the one question I can’t answer but hopefully Scriptshadow can, is it ready for the big time?”

Note: If you are a French screenwriter and want to prove that your script is so much better than the kind of films France is making, send it to me at carsonreeves3@gmail.com.  I’ll review whatever query best catches my interest.  Include the title, logline, and script attachment!

Genre: Dramedy (foreign)
Premise: (from IMDB) After he becomes a quadriplegic from a paragliding accident, an aristocrat hires a young man from the projects to be his caretaker.
About: The Intouchables became the highest grossing non-English-speaking movie in France’s history, taking in 166 million dollars. But what’s really surprising is how well it did internationally, taking in 281 million dollars, unheard of for a French film. The film won many awards, including the Cesar for co-lead Omar Cy. In short, it’s the best film to come out of France in years.  The film is available for free on Netflix streaming right now!
Writer: Olivier Nakache and Eric Toledano
Details: 112 minutes

Bon Appetit!

Oui, you read that right. It’s FRENCH WEEK. I’ve been so inspired by the Musee D’Orsay, the Tour D’eiffel, the Metro, the patisseries, the boulangeries, the pan au chocolates, that I couldn’t NOT do a French week. I mean take a stroll through Montmartre (where Amelie was filmed) and tell me you wouldn’t trade your eldest son to live there for just one day.

Also, while in France, I learned a lot about the French movie industry and why they make such crappy movies. I’m going to save those discoveries for Thursday but let’s just say it’s a LOT easier now to understand why French movies are so terribaux.

Which makes the success of today’s movie all the more confusing. The Intouchables was that rare French film that got it right. Despite seemingly taking the same approach as most other French films (a fairly plot-less drama focusing on the lives of people with the occasional touch of comedy). For that reason, I had to look closer. What made this film break out of a formula that, according to most moviegoers, doesn’t work? Because I’ll be honest, I haven’t been the biggest French film fan. But this one was good. And I believe it comes down to the script (doesn’t it always!). It may behoove the French to take a better look at this script, then, to understand why The Intouchables found so much success.

For those who haven’t seen it, The Intouchables is about a very rich Frenchman, Philippe, who was paralyzed after a hang-gliding accident. Years later, he lives in his beautiful mansion, bound to a wheelchair as a paraplegic, millions of dollars in his bank account, yet not a single penny can give him what he wants most, to move again. To put it bluntly, Philippe’s life is at a standstill.

To make matters worse, everyone who does come in contact with Philippe (his business associates, his lawyer) treat him with pity. And there’s nothing Philippe hates more than pity. Enter Driss, a blunt African immigrant who’s applying for a job as Phillipe’s caretaker. The funny thing is, Driss doesn’t want the job. He just wants his application signed so he can claim that he APPLIED for the job, which will allow him to keep collecting welfare.

Of course, Driss’s casual reaction to Philippe’s disability is exactly what Philippe’s been looking for! So Driss quickly finds himself hired. The two become friends almost immediately, with Driss not afraid to make fun of Philippe’s shortcomings. Driss teaches Philippe to not be so uptight all the time and Philippe teaches Driss about art and culture.

Eventually, Driss learns that Philippe has been exchanging letters with a woman he’s never met. The two have formed a close relationship, but she doesn’t know about Philippe’s disability. Driss encourages Philippe to send her a picture, which Philippe does, though he secretly sends one of himself before the accident. Eventually, the moment comes where the woman wants to meet, and Philippe will have to decide whether to take what he learned from Driss and show up or throw a shot at happiness away.

At first, it’s hard to determine why this movie works. From a traditional standpoint, it’s kind of strange. In these stories where there’s a central coupling, there’s almost always a clear conflict between that couple. For example, when you have a love story, the conflict might come from the two butting heads (The Proposal). Or if it’s a buddy comedy, the two might hate each other (The Other Guys). Here, Philippe and Driss become best friends almost immediately.

There is Driss’s initial reluctance to take on the job, but it ends quickly, and a couple of scenes later, the two are laughing it up. It took me awhile to figure out why I was enjoying the movie still, despite the lack of conflict, and I realized it’s because we tend to enjoy watching friendships develop, especially friendships where the two parties would normally never interact with one another. I know it sounds silly, but darn it if it doesn’t make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

But what sets this script apart from all those other French films is that it adds structure to its story. A plot thread emerges that gives the story focus. That thread is, of course, the woman Philippe writes letters to. Now that Philippe has a GOAL (the eventual meeting with this girl) and that goal has STAKES attached to it (he’s fallen in love with her, tied all his future hope to her), we have something to look forward to. If not for that, we would’ve been stuck watching a couple of guys laughing for two hours. That would’ve eventually gotten boring, no matter how much we liked the two of them.

I recently watched a French movie on Netflix, for example, called Russian Dolls, that was one of the worst movies I’ve seen all year. And, not surprisingly, it had all the French trappings embedded in its fiber. We watched multiple people simply “experiencing life” in France. There was no rhyme or reason to who we cut to or why. There was a main character, but it was never clear what he was doing. He may have been writing a book, but why and for what purpose, I don’t know. That film failed, in my opinion, because it didn’t have that structure, it didn’t have that overriding central plot thread that the audience looked forward to.

I come back to it again and again on the site, but that’s because it works. Give your character a GOAL and the reader starts caring. Even if you’re writing a drama centered around “characters experiencing life” that doesn’t involve the mafia, or bank robberies, or robots. Give you main character something he’s going after. It’ll pull what are otherwise a bunch of drifting characters into a plot orbit.

Part of the problem here – and this seems to be very much a French problem – is that the French writers and directors (who are often the same person, which is part of the problem) believe that if they just explore life’s randomness, that their movies will be entertaining because they’ll be “lifelike” and “real.” Nothing could be further from the truth. If we don’t feel like we’re pushing towards something, if we don’t believe that all of this has a purpose, we lose interest. If we wanted “real life” we wouldn’t be at the movies, would we? We can get real life from…err… REAL LIFE! Movies are “exceptional life.”

Another reason the script works is because there’s a fascinating irony at the heart of the main character. Here is a man who “has” everything (all this money!). And yet he can’t enjoy any of it. For whatever reason, audiences love watching that. This movie doesn’t work, for example, if Philippe is poor. It’s only because he’s rich that we’re captivated. This is why it’s important to really think about your main character before you write your script. Is there something fascinating about him/her? Are you getting everything you possibly can out of his character? If not, rethink the character.

The Intouchables proves that whatever kind of script you write, a summer blockbuster or a character-driven drama, at the heart of your story should be some sort of objective to tie all the loose strands together. A lot of these French films would be better served by following this simple advice!

[ ] what the hell did I just watch?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[xx] worth watching
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: Add an Element of Danger – You can enrich your story by adding an element of danger to one of your characters, the possibility that they might do something or are capable of something bad. Here, Driss has a criminal record, which Philippe’s lawyer points out to him. This choice lines the story with an impending payoff of this danger, something that because we’re told to anticipate, we pay more attention. In other words, it’s yet another subtle trick to keep a reader focused.

What I learned 2: Beware the car crash backstory! – Beware giving any character who was in an accident in your script the “car crash backstory”. It’s the easiest and most obvious of all the accident backstories and therefore draws rolled eyes from experienced readers. Instead, go with an accident that more organically represents your character. Here, Philippe injured himself during a hang-gliding accident, very much a “rich man’s” leisurely activity. That’s the kind of backstory that feels organic and honest, so it’s no surprise that it adds even more to Philippe’s character.

Bonjour!  Pardon, mon ami.  Je m’appelle Carson!

That’s the extent of the French I know, despite spending 8 years of my life in various French classes (and  having two tutors).  How I passed any of those classes is a French miracle.  But that’s not stopping me from stumbling through Paris and pointing to various pastries and saying “Une of those.”  There’s a 60% chance I’ll be kicked out of here by Wednesday for my blatant Americanism.  By the way, prepare for a 2 hour wait in the customs line if you ever come here.  The line I was in was 500 deep and they had TWO customs agents.  TWO!!  They seem to have taken a cue from visiting the American post office.  We should get those groups together sometime.  So far I’ve been to Sacre Coeur, the Arc De Triumph, and some famous “steak frites” place that wasn’t half as good as a double double from In and Out.  But man, the pastries and bread here put America to shame.  If one of these guys was smart, they’d move to LA and make a killing. Then again, if I mange one more pain du chocolate, I might explode.

Anyway, because I’m not going to be posting this week, I’ve decided to make the Scriptshadow Secrets book half off.  So if you’ve been putting off reading it, go buy it now.  You’ll learn just as much from that book as probably half the posts I’ve posted here, since the tips are based on everything I’ve learned through all the scripts I’ve reviewed.  Plus it’s just an awesome book!  So start reading folks.  And I will see you all dans une semaine!

PICTURES FROM PARIS – UPDATED DAILY!

Some famous bridge with a lot of locks on it.

Which SS commenter does this most remind you of?

Proof that Michael Cera is a vampire and has been around for 400 years

Miss SS in front of Notre Dame!

Which commenter do you think THIS most resembles? (this should be easy)

Cows at Versailles!  We ate them afterwards.

A house on Marie Antoinette’s Estate. Kept looking for a bloody guillotine to no avail.

Versailles Gardens. The French know how to spend money.

Miss Scriptshadow at famous bookstore, Shakespeare & Company (featured in Before Sunset)

Had lunch with Isabelle Adjani, winner of 5 Cesars (France’s Oscar equivalent). She was very humble and sweet!

I tried to explain to these two that their puppet show didn’t have any goals, stakes, or urgency and I was promptly thrown out of Paris.

What I learned: Louvre in the rain results in a lot of character development.

Miss SS had reached the “Really, you’re still taking pictures of me?” phase of the vacation when I took this.

French Scriptshadow fan who showed us around.

This is a rare pigeon sighting. As you know, there is a scarcity of pigeons in Paris since they eat them all.

France did not only give us the Statue of Liberty.  They gave us indoor malls!  This is the first indoor mall ever!  (p.s. The accuracy of this statement is based on my own educated guess and therefore has an 80% probability of being wrong).

I was dared to walk up to one of these guys, lick them, and say, “That was finger licking good.” I did not accept that dare.

Last night at a restaurant I saw “baby pig” on the menu. I’m praying this is what they meant.

It took us 3 wrong Metro stops, 5 wrong-way walkings, 8 map screw-ups, and 2 arguments to find this freaking canal. But it was found!

I’m not sure what Parisians would do if they saw that the average Los Angeles street was 9 times wider than this.  They might stop eating baby pig.

Miss Scriptshadow is always up for an adventure. Unfortunately, I haven’t seen her since she went on this one.

I think Warner Brothers is crazy. I do. Because despite their best intentions and all of their efforts to do this Batman vs. Superman thing, there is no way it’s going to work. Just no way. That’s not to say it isn’t going to make money. Zack Snyder’s style results in some of the best trailers in the business. So it’s going to look cool. And of course we’re going to get that 150 million dollar marketing campaign that will subliminally convince us that we will die of Bird Flu if we don’t go see it. But the movie is going to be terrible. Why? Because there’s no way to make the Batman Vs. Superman script work. There isn’t a single variable in the make-up of this pairing that lends itself to a good story. Which leads to a much bigger problem for the franchises than just this film. If it’s as ridiculous as I’m assuming it will be, you end up killing the Golden Goose, just like Joel Schumacher did with the last Batman franchise. Both franchises, then, could be catastrophically injured.

I bring this up not from a place of hate. I’d love to see a great Batman vs. Superman movie. I bring it up from a place of knowing what makes a good story. In an imaginary world where Warner Brothers came to me with this idea and asked me to write it, I would say, “It can’t be done. There are too many things working against it.” I want to get to those things, but first, let’s recap how we got here.

Warner Brothers, who has much of the DC Universe under contract, has been watching the way Disney/Marvel’s been methodically parading out solo movies for their characters (Iron Man, Thor, Hulk) and making a lot of money off them. They said, “Hey, why can’t we do that? We have other superheroes besides Batman and Superman.” So they kept developing the Wonder Woman project. They gave us Ryan Reynolds as The Green Lantern. And the results of these experiments were… not good to say the least. It was then that Marvel took over the movie world with its orgasmic super-hero fest, The Avengers.  Warners had had enough. They wanted to do their version of The Avengers, Justice League, but, as we already established, didn’t have the characters. But gosh. That Avengers made so much money. We have to have an answer to it. Batman vs. Superman has been kicking around Hollywood forever, and this seemed like the perfect time to bust it out, so they pulled the trigger. Their argument was, “We got the two best superheroes around. We don’t need anybody else.” And hence we got Batman vs. Superman. With Ben Affleck to play Batman to boot (that casting choice is a whole other discussion).

Here’s the problem though. Famous Character X vs. Famous Character Y movies never work. In fact, they actually work against the franchises because all of them carry a whiff of desperation. As a studio, you bring these out when the characters are stale or dying. Freddy vs. Jason? Oh yeah, that was a good one. Alien vs. Predator. Does anyone even remember what that was about??  Why are we bringing together two franchises that are just fine?  Here are a few more thoughts I’d like to add.

It’s a gimmick, not a movie.

“Versus” movies are always gimmicks. Instead of being able to create a journey for the main character that will end up being our main plot (i.e. Lex Luthor holds America hostage and Superman must stop him), the whole script must be geared towards figuring out a way to get these two to fight. So you’re already starting from an artificial place. You’re trying to push something on the audience that isn’t natural and therefore will never feel natural, no matter how many writing tricks you use. I’m sure Goyer and Snyder will do their best, but I’m willing to bet my right hip that while you’re watching this film, you’re going to notice a ton of really ridiculous exposition that sets up why Superman and Batman will have to fight.

Tone mixing

The tone between the two universes is too different. Batman’s darker, more realistic. Superman has super powers and aliens. Superman’s also set in a more idealistic world, despite Zac Snyder’s best efforts to eliminate that idealism. In Superman, you still get cheesy lines you’d NEVER see in Batman like, “The world’s too big mom.” Or an overly-melodramatic death where someone’s father perishes in a Level 5 tornado. Combining super human heroes with mortal human heroes and keeping the tone universal is going to be a bitch to do right. I guess The Avengers somehow mixed a Norse God into their story, but I’m guessing Batman and Superman are always going to feel like they’re in different movies. The tonal bubble that surrounds each is too different.

Neither character can win –

This is probably the biggest challenge they have in the script. Neither character can defeat the other. Both are too big and too important to the studio to lose at the end of the movie and the fanbase for each is too passionate to take on when said favorite loses. That means we’re going to get the mother of all cop-outs where both characters battle each other with all their hearts, then come to a truce at the end. It will be monumentally unsatisfying. You know that great feeling you get when the hero defeats the bad guy at the end of the movie. Batman vs. Superman can’t have that, which is going to leave you feeling confused. “Wait, a tie? Well then what was the whole point of the movie?”

False Character Motivation

How do you motivate this fight? Like motivate an all-out “to-the-death” battle between Superman and Batman? There’s nothing you can do. Superman won’t want to kill Batman. And Batman doesn’t kill good guys who have made their mark by doing good and saving thousands of lives. Any motivation you give these two to fight each other is going to feel entirely fabricated.

It’s not a fair fight, so anything they do to make it fair will feel like cheating.

As a writer, the actual battle between these two is impossible to write. This comes down to geek obviousness.  There’s no way for a mortal man to defeat a superhuman. True, we have the whole kryptonite thing, but what’s Batman going to do? Lace himself with kryptonite? Would Nolan’s Batman ever do something like that? Of course not. It’s too silly, too bizarre, bringing us back to the tone issue. These two don’t work in the same universe. They operate in completely separate worlds. The writers (I’m assuming someone will come in to help after Goyer) will have to design all these artificial elements to even the fight out, and it’s going to make everything feel fake and manufactured. I could see this working in the broad universe of a cartoon. But live in a dark supposedly “realistic” world? It’s going to feel silly.

This leaves us with one obvious question: What WILL they end up doing? Well, I’m not in their heads, but the best way to approach this is to probably create some nasty villain that Batman and Superman are both going after. They may even have to team up since you want these characters around each other as much as possible. But they don’t see eye to eye and something goes wrong. Batman splits off and decides to do it his own way, and much like The Dark Knight, he goes too far. In fact, Batman’s been going too far in his street-cleaning crusade for awhile now. But local law enforcement can’t stop him, so they have to bring in Superman. There would also have to be some secondary plot where Bruce and Clark are interacting as normal people, possibly in a reporter-interview capacity so you can get a lot of dramatic irony in there via their interactions. But I contend it’s just going to be stupid and cheesy and forced when they fight. Why would these two fight each other than nerds wanting them too???

Whenever you stoop to a “fan-fiction” level with your story, you run the risk of killing it. Because you’re making the movie for the wrong reasons. You’re not trying to tell a good story. You’re trying to answer a geeky question. Who wins if Superman and Batman fight (we already answered this, of course: neither). Which is why these things need to be kept to dorm rooms at 2 a.m. after the final strand of weed has been toked. The idea “Batman Vs. Superman” sounds rad for two seconds, but when you really think about it, how they would actually make it happen, it falls apart immediately. The trailer for this will be great, but mark my words, there’s no way for this script to survive. Which is exactly why, despite them developing the idea for 20 years, no one’s cracked it yet. With that said, I leave it up to you guys to prove me wrong. How would you write Batman vs. Superman?  Is it, indeed, impossible?

Carson, here– I’m currently stuck in someone’s basement.  Say no to strangers, kids.  Especially if they don’t know the secret word.  But not to worry.  Last week some of you were asking to hear from a genuine script reader.  Today I’m making those dreams come true.  Here’s Matt, who read for a couple of production companies.  He’ll tell you what kind of people you’re trying to get past, and has even offered to answer questions in the comments.  So shoot them out there after you read his article, which is damn good!   

{Note: These are my experiences having worked as a reader for two production companies. As I learned by working with two different companies, every process is slightly different. But I also learned that for the most part, they’re incredibly similar. Also note, I will not, for what should be obvious reason, be publicly naming any names.}

Okay, so what I’m going to do is a bit of a faux-interview in that nobody is actually interviewing me, but I’ll present some questions and answer them, and go into the details of my experience as a script reader, advice, etc. Some of this is probably blatantly obvious to many of you, some of it may not be. I’m just putting it all out there.

My Background

In short, I started writing when I was 17 after I watched (for the first time), Pulp Fiction, Taxi Driver, and The Departed (the latter had just come out the year prior). Before that I had maybe seen fifty films in my entire life, and none of them were like those movies. Long story short, I found this amazing website called TriggerStreet, became a member (which was against the rules since I wasn’t 18 yet), and read and reviewed at least four hundred scripts on that site over the years, and wrote many myself. I met some incredible people, and eventually moved to Los Angeles and remain good friends with many of them. I mention this because it is a wonderful site to get feedback on your scripts, as well as read others’ work (which is an invaluable learning experience unto itself). I encourage you to check it out.

How’d I get a job as a reader?

I don’t know how most people do it. I never asked them. Mine was sheer blind luck. I was 19, living in Ohio, and I ended up working on a documentary for some people that flew in from Los Angeles. The director happened to have worked for this company in the past, and he said he’d set me up with an interview. I did a phone interview and sample coverage and there you go. I was getting paid to read scripts.

The Process – What did I do?

I would get a script emailed to me. I knew nothing about the script other than the title. No logline. (this applies to both companies) They’d give me a deadline, though usually I’d do it much faster so I could get another script to read. I’d read the script, and fill out a coverage sheet. The coverage sheets vary from company to company, but all of them are essentially: a one page synopsis and then rating (scale one to ten usually) and describing the concept, story, dialogue, character, and marketability. I would also assess (obviously a guesstimate) the budget (low, medium, high). Then I’d tell them whether I recommended the script or whether it was a pass. If I recommended it, it would be kicked further up the ladder for someone else to read. If I passed, that was the end of it. And that last part is why lowly readers like myself (well, okay, there is someone even lower – the unpaid intern) are so important. If you submit an unsolicited script, you can bet that it’s going to be read by someone like me. Or, as I mentioned, an unpaid intern.

About Unpaid Interns

Unpaid interns are people who pimp themselves and their knowledge out for free in the hopes of one day securing a job. Go to Los Angeles Craigslist TV/Film jobs, and you’ll see how many unpaid internships are floating around out there. I’m generally against this type of work, for a variety of reasons. One of which is that unpaid interns write HORRIBLE coverage (no this is not universally true, but almost). When I say horrible, I mean that their coverage often lacks attention to detail and at least fifty percent of them I read indicated a significant lack in ability to form a coherent sentence. And I largely think this is because they’re unpaid! As The Joker said, “If you’re good at something, never do it for free.” But like I said, this isn’t universally true. I’ve read plenty of coverage from unpaid interns who took it very seriously and were incredibly diligent.

 Know Who You’re Sending Your Script To

One company I worked for would get all types of scripts, all different genres. The other company worked primarily in comedy. Don’t send your sci-fi adventure script to a company who only makes low budget dramas! Do some research about who you’re sending it to first. This will maximize your potential, waste less time, and if you’re querying a company (yes it does work sometimes), you can personalize the query.

What Kind of Scripts Did I Read?

Everything. And I mean everything. Like I said, one company dealt specifically in comedy, so I didn’t read everything there. The other company… I read low budget dramas, I read comedy, I read high-octane action scripts. The longest script I ever read was 138 pages, and the shortest was 57 pages. Yes, 57 pages, and no it was not a TV pilot. I’m not sure how or why that script was selected, but I suspect it was as a favor.

Did I Ever Recommend a Script?

Yes. For every hundred scripts, I probably recommended five of them to go up the chain. Does this mean I’m a hard-ass? Maybe, but probably not. It simply means that a majority of scripts aren’t ready for the big time. And there were times when I did not recommend a script, but I’d recommend the writer. Maybe the script would be too expensive. Maybe it wasn’t quite right for them. But the writing was excellent. So I’d recommend the writer, but not the script.

What Happened if I Recommended a Script?

Well, I’m not 100% in the know on this in terms of every single step that would happen. I never followed up on scripts, I just did my job and read them and provided feedback. But what I can say is that if I recommended it, it would get kicked up to my boss, who wasn’t the top of the ladder, but certainly had some strings they could pull and stuff might happen. From what I understood, it would get kicked up to this person, and they would read it, and if they liked it, then they would have other people read it for more feedback. This was the case not only where I worked, but many other agencies, production companies, etc. One person who has a lot of sway may like a script, but they will almost always have other people that they work with read it to get their opinions too. So once you get past the lowly reader, you (usually) have to not only impress whoever they kick it up to, but probably two or three other people as well before you’ll even hear back from them.

Essentially, you have to make quite a few people fall in love with your script before anything will happen. On the bright side, it’s incredibly rare that every single person who reads it loves it. But if six people at the company read it, and only one doesn’t like it, you have some good odds.

I do believe that I once recommended a script, and while the script was not purchased or made into a film, the company hired the writer to do some other work for them. That kind of ties into the “recommending the writer” thing, except I also recommended the script in this case.

What Did I Look for in a Script?

Great writing, of course! But more so than that, I wanted originality. I wanted scenes and characters I hadn’t seen before. And I wanted to be MOVED in some way. It doesn’t have to be to tears. A horror script might creep me out. A thriller might… thrill me. If you can make the reader feel something, you have just improved your odds of a recommendation ten fold.

What to Avoid in Your Script

None of this stuff is guaranteed to screw you if you have it in your script. It’s simply a matter of increasing your odds, and these types of things will most likely lower them.

Big budgets
If you’re writing the next Pacific Rim, it may not matter how amazingly well written it is, if the company can’t make that kind of film, they can’t make it. The chips are a bit stacked there. Sure, these films tend to be more marketable and make more money, but bang for your buck? Horror and comedy. Thrillers are also a much easier sell.  But, if your heart is set on that big-budget action film, go for it. You have to write what you love, or your script will suffer. And there ARE companies looking for that stuff. Same goes for sci-fi.

Being Too Subtle
This is incredibly tricky. All good films have their subtleties. Their subtext. All good scripts have them. But when it comes to readers, some of whom don’t put much effort in at all, there is such as a thing as being too subtle. Problem is, of course, there’s such a thing as hitting the reader over the head. It’s such a tricky, fine line to balance that I can’t possibly explain how to walk it. But simply keep in mind, you can be too on-the-nose, but you can also be too subtle, and it will completely go over the inattentive reader’s head.

Directing from the Page
Sometimes this is perfectly fine. But a lot of amateur writers completely overdo it, and it’s ANNOYING. Not only does it make for a tedious read, but if it ended up being produced, the director will do whatever the hell he wants. Use these only when ABSOLUTELY necessary, and I would say no more than three times in a script.

Music Cues
Unless the music is playing in the scene itself, don’t include it. You’re not writing a friggin’ soundtrack. Not only will they totally ignore your ideas if it was produced, but it’s really damn annoying to read. It pulls the reader out of the script, and that’s the last thing you want.

There are of course many other things to avoid, but those four in particular are important when it comes to the lowly script reader. The rest (like less black more white on the page, too many characters, etc.) are just universally good to avoid.

Myths About Readers

In my time spent on Triggerstreet and in the screenwriting world in general, I heard a lot of these (and probably more). After working as a reader, I realized how many of them were just utter bullshit. Note: this applies to readers only, not to people like development executives. It applies to the lowest people on the totem pole (which are the first people who will read your script in most cases, unless you know someone higher up and can bypass these people).

If you don’t hook them in the first ten, they’ll throw your script in the trash
No, they won’t. Not only is this the age of the Internet, where it would be the recycle bin instead, but none of that will happen. Why? These people are PAID (or sometimes not paid, but it’s still their job) to read the ENTIRE script. As I mentioned above regarding the coverage sheets I would fill out, I had to write a synopsis! You can’t do that unless you read the entire script.

Now, this is one reason I specified this applies to readers only. A development executive, for example, who isn’t paid per script and has no obligation to read an entire script, will most certainly toss your script if he doesn’t like it after ten, fifteen, twenty pages. I’ll never forget one script I got into the hands of someone who could make shit happen and their response: “gave it twenty pages, good writing, liked it, didn’t love it, thanks for sending.” But the little guy that works for someone like him who’s paid to read scripts and send the good ones up the ladder? THEY READ THE ENTIRE THING.

Grammar/Spelling/Formatting
Your script will not be discarded if you make a few grammatical, spelling, or formatting guffaws. This goes back to the “they are paid to read the entire thing.” However, if your script is rife with errors, it will give the (potentially incorrect) feeling of amateurism. So it’s not entirely a myth that this stuff can sink a script, but it is a myth that it’s guaranteed to screw you over if you have a few mistakes here and there. Nobody. Cares.

Directing From the Page
Yes, I said to avoid this. And you should. But like the grammar/spelling thing, if you do this a few times in your script, no one will care. I promise.

Dramas Won’t Get Read
Wrong. They just might not get sold. But as a reader, if I got a script and I liked it, I would recommend it. I didn’t care about the genre (and I wasn’t supposed to). But there’s a bright side: there are niche markets for low budget indie dramas. There are companies who specifically cater to this and WANT these kinds of scripts. This goes back to my “know who you’re sending your script to.” IMDb Pro is a great place to get information like this. Also, you can do as Carson suggested, and throw in a hook.

Query Letters are Pointless
Nope. They may be pointless if you’re trying to get The Weinstein Company to read your script. But there are plenty of companies out there who accept unsolicited submissions (one I worked for had a link on their page to submit to). Once again, IMDb Pro can be very helpful here. (note: don’t ever pay for those mass query services)

Only Scripts that Are 90-120 Pages Long Will Get Read
Wrong! As I mentioned above, the longest script I read was over 135 pages. The shortest was 57! Now, there is a bit of truth in this, though I would adjust it to 80-120 pages. That’s the range in which 98% of the scripts I read fell. How that 57-pager got in is beyond me. And too long can definitely be a turn off, but by and large, it’s all about your pitch and the concept. The company doesn’t care if their reader has to read an extra long script. They get paid the same amount. But like I said, it’s definitely extremely preferable to stay between 80 and 120 pages.

They Want True Originality!
Kind of. Here’s the thing, and this isn’t coming from the way I would personally assess scripts, it’s coming from the bajillions of other coverages I read. Sometimes true originality can baffle readers. They don’t know what to make of it. This is where the old adage “same but different” comes into play. And it’s a fine line. Not too much the same that they say “we’ve seen this before”, but not too different that they don’t know what to make of it. Though I also firmly believe that a great script, with a solid grasp on storytelling principles, original characters, and an original story WILL find a home.

Okay, Carson said to write about 2000 words and I’ve already exceeded that, so I’m going to wrap this up with some closing thoughts.

The single best piece of advice I can give is to love what you’re writing. Don’t write something because you think it’s more likely to sell or whatever. I’ve tried it, and I didn’t even finish the script. If you’re not 100% devoted and excited about your story, it WILL show. Believe me.

And, in true ScriptShadow fashion….

What I Learned (by being a reader): Obviously, all of the above. But beyond that, know what you’re writing about. I could tell when someone was writing about a subject that they had never researched or experienced. To write a war film, you don’t have to have been in a war, but you damn well better research that shit. Otherwise you’re just gleaning information from other films and TV and it comes off as derivative. Also, I highly suggest, unless there’s some sort of deadline, to wait two weeks after you finish your draft before sending it to anyone. Why? That kind of time gives you distance and allows you to be a bit more objective about your work. I would read some scripts that had a draft date that was a week before I received the script (which means they probably submitted it to the company the day they finished it). Don’t do this.

I hope you guys found at least something in here a bit helpful. I am more than happy to answer any further questions in the comments section (I post as “Matty” with the little George Clooney head). Those two thousand words went quickly!

Have an A-1 day!