Search Results for: the wall
The other day I was exchanging e-mails with a writer about a couple of scripts of his I had read, which had some good things about them but ultimately weren’t where they needed to be. He was really upset about it, and after hearing his side, I understood why. He had spent the last two years throwing his heart and soul into this craft and he really thought these scripts were it, that he’d finally figured it out. To hear that he hadn’t was a crushing blow. After that moment comes, where you think you’ve hit your peak only to find out you haven’t, what do you do? Where do you go? It’s a helpless feeling because how do you get better when you’ve already done everything you possibly can to succeed?
Well the truth is, you haven’t done it all. There is always something you can work on or do more of in the craft of screenwriting. So for those folks out there who are frustrated as hell and feel like they’ve hit a wall, here are nine things (sorry, I can’t count to ten) that you should be doing to maximize your potential as a screenwriter and cut down the time it takes to break in. These are not things that I’m thinking up off the top of my head. This is advice I’ve watched many others break through with over the last five years.
BE PATIENT
Uhhh, wait a minute. Didn’t I just say this was going to be about speeding things up? Yes, it is, but you have to put things in perspective. Did you know that it takes most screenwriters an average of 7-8 years before they break in? That’s right. 7-8 years. If you think you’re ready for the big leagues after 2 years of scribbling, by that same logic you should be able to apply for the lead heart surgeon job at Cedar-Sinai after two years of undergrad. Get real. People think screenwriting is easy cause they’ve seen a lot bad movies. Think again. There are hundreds of things you have to learn, practice, and perfect before your scripts can stand toe-to-toe with the big boys. That takes time. Did you know that Allan Loeb, the screenwriter who’s making more money than any other screenwriter in the business right now, didn’t sell his first script until his 12th year trying? I’m not saying it’ll take you that long. If you have a great hook and solid execution and you’re in the right spot at the right time, you could sell your script tomorrow. But the point is…don’t put unrealistic expectations on this craft. It’s a lot harder than you think it is. Just keep working at it and when it’s your time, it’s your time.
PICK A GOOD IDEA BEFORE YOU START WRITING
Blake Snyder popularized this approach 
READ ALL THE BOOKS
You have to read the major screenwriting books. Even if you think they’re bogus and a sham. Read them. Why? Because I read too many scripts where writers don’t even know the basics of the 3-Act structure. And those are always the worst scripts by a mile. Remember, if you’re pursuing this screenwriting thing, I’m presuming you want to make a career out of it. For that reason, study it just like you’d study for any career. Immerse yourself in it. That includes consuming ideas and theories from people you don’t agree with. Warren Buffet may not believe in short-term investing, but you can bet your ass he’s studied the hell out of it. What I’ve found is that sooner or later, every writer finds an author that they understand, that lays out an approach that works for them. You can’t find that person unless you read everyone. For a list of books I recommend, go here (don’t forget to check out the comments section where other Scriptshadow readers offer suggestions).
JOIN AN ONLINE SCREENWRITING COMMUNTIY
There are several screenwriting communities on the web, a couple of the most popular being Triggerstreet and Done Deal. If you haven’t joined them already, do it now. Read the most popular posts. Get to know the people who know what they’re talking about. Read their posts more closely. Don’t be the guy who has to prove he knows everything. Instead, be nice, be courteous, befriend people. What you’ll receive in return for that friendship is way more important than any satisfaction you’ll receive from proving someone wrong. Read that sentence again. It may be the most important sentence you read in your life. Once inside this community, find people who are at your level. START TRADING YOUR MATERIAL WITH THEM. Give each other feedback. Writers groups are invaluable to helping you improve. On Done Deal, I watched as every couple of months another writer would break through. If you were the nice guy, the one who respected and helped people, there’s a good chance that sooner or later, one of those people you helped is going to be the one that breaks through. And that person very well might be the one who passes your script to their agent and starts your career. I’ve seen it happen before.
ENTER CONTESTS
I used to hate contests. Used to think contests were stupid. Contests are not stupid. They’re invaluable. Why? Not because they give you a chance to win 30,000 dollars. I could care less about that. Because they keep you on track, because they keep you focused, because they give you deadlines, because they chart your progress. The truth is, you’re probably not going to win any of these contests. But when you start getting good, you’ll see your screenplays advance and you’ll start to gain confidence that what you’re doing is working. Some of the best contests include Nicholl, Zoetrope, Austin, Bluecat, Script Pimp, Scriptapalooza, and Amazon. But there are many many more. Check out Moviebytes for a list.
WRITE WITHIN THE GENRES YOU LIKE
If you don’t live and die for movies like Liar Liar 
GET YOUR QUERY ON
I see all these writers throwing up their hands claiming that it’s impossible to get their script read. No it isn’t. I know an amateur writer with no contacts who just did an e-mail query blast and got over 30 script requests from bona fide Hollywood agents and managers. How do you do this? Start with the last three Black Lists (you can get them here). After each logline, they list the writer’s manager and agent. Jot down every one of those managers and agents who represent a script similar to your own. Do some good old fashioned googling to get their numbers and e-mails, then contact them with a solid query. Simple as that. If you get no response, it may be that your idea doesn’t have a good hook (see suggestion #2). But it also might mean that you’re aiming too high. Remember, when you’re a minnow, you’re probably not ready to swim with the big fishes. The good news is, there are minnow managers and minnow agents just like there are minnow writers. You’re asking someone to take a chance on you. So you may have to take a chance on someone else. Comb through the names and e-mails of the medium and small-time agencies on http://www.hcdonline.com/ (it comes with a subscription fee) and you’re bound to find people who will read your scripts.
READ SCRIPTS
This advice shouldn’t come as a surprise. You’re on a site about reading scripts. Naturally, I want you to read as many scripts as possible. And I mean AS MANY AS POSSIBLE. Hundreds if you can. I would even recommend taking four months off of writing and just reading scripts. I’m serious. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, that has come even remotely close to teaching me screenwriting. It’s so helpful it almost seems like cheating. It’s the reason so many professional readers have gone on to sell screenplays. Yet writers STILL avoid it. It baffles me. Now because things have gotten so crazy lately, you’re probably asking, well where the hell do I find these screenplays? All I can say is they’re out there. I’m sure the commenters will list a few places to look. But if you just want to get started, go over to Simply Scripts and read the amateur as well as professional screenplays on their site (yeah – you have to read the bad ones too). Try to read scripts from which you haven’t seen the movie.
LOWER THE DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY
First and foremost, write inside the genres you love and write what moves you. But since this list is written in part to help you cross the finish line sooner, I’m going to give you a tip. If you want to sell a screenplay now, lower your degree of difficulty. A lot of writers I see getting agents and optioning scripts do so with a simple formula: High concept easy-to-understand ideas with a clear objective for the main character. A guy is in a coffin, he needs to get out. A guy is on a train that keeps blowing up, he needs to find the terrorist. A guy is stuck in a building with terrorists, he needs to save his wife. No, this formula doesn’t limit you to thrillers. Your script can be about an over-the-hill fighter who gets a shot at the heavyweight championship (Rocky
Genre: Biopic/Drama/Fantasy
Premise: The life story of one of the most creative minds of all time, Walt Disney.
About: For one of my favorite books about Disney, check out Disney War 
Writer: Brendan Lee
Details: 117 pages (This is an early draft of the script. The situations, characters, and plot may change significantly by the time the film is released. This is not a definitive statement about the project, but rather an analysis of this unique draft as it pertains to the craft of screenwriting).
Brendan has dutifully sent me his Amateur Review script entry every month since I began the feature and I can safely say there is no one who’s more passionate about his material than Brendan is about telling this story. I e-mailed him a couple of times and reminded him that I’m not the biggest biopic fan and therefore his script already had an uphill battle with me, but he maintained that that was okay. He just wanted the script to get read and hopefully make it better.
Brendan is also aware that writing a biopic about Walt Disney is a no-win proposition. He doesn’t have the rights to Walt Disney’s story, and if anyone wants to tell Walt’s story, it’s likely they’ll buy up some other more renowned material – not a script from a struggling writer trying to find a crack in the Hollywood wall he can slip through. However, that’s the exact same thing they said about The Muppet Man, which was purchased by Jim Henson’s company. So why can’t lightning strike twice?
Funny I should bring up Muppet Man, because there were a few times I was reminded of that script during my reading of the Imagineer. But I’ll get to that later. For now, let’s take a look at Walt Disney’s life.
We meet Walt at 5 years old back in 1906 Missouri. While the rest of his brothers and one sister have a more conservative outlook on life, Walt is more interested in the bizarre, in the strange, in the eclectic, and we see this obsession emerge when he stumbles into a carnival in the middle of the woods one evening. The colors, the atmosphere, the wonder – it’s that defining moment in a life where you immediately know your calling.
Unfortunately, Walt’s strict father, Elias, is the exact opposite of Walt. He’s a hardworking blue collar man who believes that the way to a living is getting your hands dirty, and not with pencil lead or finger paints. This strained relationship will end up haunting Walt for the rest of his life.
Despite this strain, Walt becomes a pretty good little artist and through the years manages to eek out a living selling drawings until he gets a job at an advertising house called Gray Advertising. Around this time, Walt’s more business-oriented brother, Roy, comes back into town and the two decide to form a business together. They move to Hollywood where they segue into making movies and Walt starts working on an animated film that will later become one of the most famous movies of all time, “Alice In Wonderland.” (it will also, unfortunately, lead to the monstrosity that was Tim Burton’s version of the material last year – something I’m positive Walt wouldn’t have approved of!!).
Finally, Walt’s dreams are beginning to come true, though not without conflict. Walt’s obsession with thinking outside the box and always trying to create the next spectacle nearly puts he and Roy out of business several times. Cause as anyone who’s worked with visionaries before can tell you, spectacle doesn’t come cheap. But Walt’s genius always seems to bail them out, and when Universal tries to rip them off over a movie deal, Walt has had enough and tells his brother they’re opening their own studio.
But while Walt’s businesses continue to thrive, he is still haunted by his father’s lack of approval, an approval he will never receive since his father dies before they can reconcile his career choice. Of course we all know that Walt went on to even bigger things, creating one of the most iconic brands on the planet, Disney World, but we’re left to wonder if that was ever enough for a man who just wanted his father to say, “Good job.”
Okay, before I get started on the critique, let’s recap why I have such a hard time with biopics. The main problem is that they don’t usually have a goal for the main character. Instead, the movie becomes a retelling of their lives, which can definitely be dramatized, but the lack of structure prevents that dramatization from ever firing on all cylinders.
For this reason, it’s hard to critique biopics because all you’re really critiquing are the events that make up a person’s life. You’re essentially saying either this man’s life is interesting or it isn’t.
So from this screenplay, did I find Walt Disney’s life interesting? Not really. That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy The Imagineer. But Walt Disney’s life, at least the way I interpreted it, wasn’t that difficult in comparison to the lives of other less fortunate people who went on to have great success. Outside of some humble beginnings, the obstacles that stood in his path – getting rejected by a lot of newspapers, not having enough money to do what he really wanted – were frustrating but by no means cataclysmic.
Even though I didn’t like 2005’s “Ray
That may be The Imagineer’s (or more specifically, Walt Disney’s) biggest hurdle in telling his story. Is his story interesting enough? I’m not sure it is.
Still, I have to admit that there’s something about The Imagineer that pulls you in. Brendan’s passion for the subject definitely bleeds onto the page and this is one of the zippiest biopics I’ve ever had – a welcome change from a genre that usually gets bogged down in overindulgence .
There are two moments in particular that stuck out to me. First, there’s a wonderful scene towards the end where Walt finds closure speaking to an apparition of his dead father. These scenes are so incredibly tricky to write because it’s easy for them to devolve into melodrama. But Brendan really nails it, and it’s impossible not to get choked up listening to this last conversation.
The other moment has to do with the final scene (SPOILERS) where Walt Disney is talking to his creation, Mickey Mouse, before he takes that final train off into the next world. There’s something so sad and touching about it that you can’t help but get wrapped up in the emotion. If it wasn’t for that moment, I’m not sure I ever would’ve felt Walt Disney as a real person. But that last scene really changed that.
Of course, this leads to a problem, one that a number of you are probably already thinking – Isn’t that last scene similar to The Muppet Man? Well, yes, it is similar to The Muppet Man. And that’s unfortunate, because I know Brendan’s been working on this forever and it’s likely he wrote this scene long before he even heard of The Muppet Man. But there’s no doubt that reading it reminds you of that screenplay, and that, unfortunately, is going to result in some people seeing it as unoriginal.
In the end, I think I’m going to recommend this. There’s something unexpectedly sad and unique about a man dying who’s brought so much happiness to others, because you feel like a lot of that happiness is dying with him. You’re going to get choked up here and just the fact that the writer is able to make you feel something about this man’s passing tells me he succeeded on some level.
An interesting script for sure. I’d like to hear what biopic lovers have to say about it. Go ahead and download it below.
Script link: The Imagineer
[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[x] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius
What I learned: If you’re going to write about someone’s life, make sure that life was complicated, interesting and had plenty of adversity to draw upon. Because you can’t lean on a traditional storytelling arc (the 3 act structure) and are more a slave to real life events, you want to make sure those events are as interesting as possible.
Note: Disqus seems to be having a meltdown (one of their many). If you can’t comment, try again later.
Hey, what do you know? It’s December 14, which means a new BLACK LIST is upon us. For those new to the site and new to the list, it’s basically a compilation of the best unproduced screenplays of the year (or as they like to put it – the “most liked”). There’s discussion every year about how this isn’t a true representation of the best undiscovered scripts because a lot of them have big producers and big studios attached. Well hey, if it’s a good script, it’s going to get snatched up. The studios don’t say, “Hey, we should wait til that Black List thingy comes out at the end of the year before we buy this, just out of respect.” I mean sure, you could compile a list just of scripts that, as of this moment, don’t have a home, but I can assure you that if you did that, you’d be laughing your way through the top 10. I mean I already hear people bitching about the quality of *this* list – and that’s *with* all the scripts that were good enough to get purchased. Anyway, if you want a more pure experience, you can go check out “The Hit List,” which they compiled over at The Tracking Board and which has a lot of unpurchased scripts on it.
Taking a look down today’s list, I see some familiar script faces as well as some unfamiliar ones. I also see a lot of FBI and CIA characters, and that old Hollywood favorite, “Based on a true story.” I find this funny since I told you guys just a few days ago that the way onto the Black List is to write something quirky, and yet I don’t see a single quirky script in the Top 10. Of course, that may have more to do with the fact that there weren’t any high-profile quirky scripts written this year, but still. Now whether you like the Black List or hate everything it stands for, I think it’s an incredibly useful tool for screenwriters. Going down this list, you get a snapshot of what subject matter Hollywood is taking to. That can’t be underestimated. So now, as has been the tradition here at Scriptshadow (and by “tradition” I mean going on one year), it’s time to look at all the entries on the list!
49 mentions
COLLEGE REPUBLICANS by Wes Jones
“Based on true events. Aspiring politician Karl Rove runs a dirty campaign for national College Republican Chairman under the guidance of Lee Atwater, his campaign manager.”
AGENT Creative Artists Agency – Gregory McKnight, Jay Baker
MANAGER Circle of Confusion – Ken Freimann, Greg Shephard
Anonymous Content producing.
Thoughts: I always forget how much Hollywood loves politics. Which is funny because political movies NEVER do well. Ever. Which is exactly why I’ve had no interest in reading this. But a couple of you have mentioned that Jones is trying to do something different (good) and since the last super high profile political Black List entry, Farragut North, wasn’t too shabby itself, maybe I should give College Republicans a try.
47 mentions
JACKIE by Noah Oppenheim
“Jackie Kennedy fights to define her husband’s legacy in the seven days immediately following his assassination.”
AGENT Creative Artists Agency – Rowena Arguelles, Billy Hawkins
MANAGER Management 360 – Guymon Casady, Darin Friedman
Fox Searchlight. Protozoa Pictures producing.
Thoughts: Hmmm. I’ll be honest. This sounds boring. Like something your parent’s friends would discuss at the after-party of a parent-teacher conference. Of course, all biopics sound boring to me so that’s nothing new. If I can find entertainment in the story of a 250 year old short dead guy, who’s to say I can’t find entertainment in Jackie?
45 mentions
ALL YOU NEED IS KILL by Dante Harper
“A new recruit in a war against aliens finds himself caught in a time loop where he wakes up one day in the past after having been killed on the battlefield.”
AGENT Creative Artists Agency – Todd Feldman, Jay Baker
MANAGER Management 360 – Guymon Casady, Darin Friedman
Warner Brothers. 3 Arts Entertainment, VIZ Productions producing.
Thoughts: The more I look back at this script, the more impressed I am with it. The premise and story are just flat-out insane, but the action scenes are what really set this apart – some of the best described action I’ve ever read – visual, kinetic, unique – You really feel like you’re inside that battlefield battling those aliens. The underdog angle is also written to perfection, creating an attachment to the protagonist that you only feel in the best sci-fi films. You want to see him win. You must see him win.
43
SAFE HOUSE by David Guggenheim
“A young man at a CIA-run safe house in Rio De Janeiro must help a rogue ex-agent escape assassins who want intelligence that he won’t sell them.”
AGENT Agency for the Performing Arts – David Boxerbaum
MANAGER Madhouse Entertainment – Adam Kolbrenner
Universal. Stuber Pictures, Madhouse Entertainment producing.
Thoughts: I hate how much of a Debbie Downer I am about this script but I just didn’t see anything new in it. There’s just enough action and forward momentum to keep you interested but not a penny more. Then again, you’re talking to someone who thought the Bourne movies were by-the-numbers, so I’m not exactly qualified to judge this genre. I’m interested in those who really loved this script. Why did you love it? I’m genuinely curious about what I missed.
39
STOKER by Wentworth Miller
“After the death of her father, a teenager must deal with a mysterious uncle who returns to spend time with the family.”
AGENT International Creative Management – Nicole Clemens, Adam Weinstein
MANAGER Industry Entertainment – Eryn Brown
Fox Searchlight. Scott Free Productions producing.
Thoughts; Hey, Prison Break Guy made the top 10 of the Black List. Sweet. I wonder if that means the story is over on page 15 but we keep the script going for another 100 pages anyway. Or if all the characters speak in whispers. Oooh, low blows. All kidding aside, I know that Roger liked this one. Kudos to Miller for writing under an alias and not depending on his fame to get this through the door. Although I’m not sure if his fame would’ve helped him or hurt him in this case.
32 mentions
999 by Matt Cook
“A gang of crooked cops plan a major heist that will require them to shoot a fellow officer in order to get away with it.”
AGENT William Morris Endeavor – Cliff Roberts, Danny Gabai
MANAGER Anonymous Content – Bard Dorros, Keith Redmon
Anonymous Content producing.
Thoughts: Cook made last year’s list with his “High Noon meets Pleasantville” Western, “By Way of Helena.” That script also made the top 10, so there’s some pedigree here. The only thing I’ll say about this, since I know nothing about it, is I hope someone changes that logline! It reads like a 3rd grader put it together.
31 mentions
MARGIN CALL by JC Chandor
“Based on true events, the final twenty-four hours of Lehman Brothers.”
AGENT William Morris Endeavor – Rob Carlson, Simon Faber
Before the Door Pictures, Washington Square Arts & Films, Benaroya Pictures, and Taggart Productions producing.
Thoughts: Really liked this one. I didn’t know it was based on anything real at the time. Just thought it was a vague interpretation of what probably happened in a lot of offices throughout New York that year. It’s a quiet script that focuses mainly on the fear people have. I remember loving how we got to walk our way up the company ladder, from the smallest fry to the big kahuna, sort of like Enter The Dragon but with businessmen. I also remember everyone else in the comments being underwhelmed and thinking I was delusional for liking this.
30 mentions
AMERICAN BULLSHIT by Eric Warren Singer
“The true story of Abscam, the FBI’s 1980 undercover sting operation of Congress to root out corruption which was the brainchild of the world’s greatest con man.”
AGENT Creative Artists Agency – Robert Bookman, Billy Hawkins, Stuart Manashil
Sony. Atlas Entertainment producing.
Thoughts: When I see FBI and Congress in a logline, I inadvertently start snoring. Throw me into 1980 and you might as well euthanize me. Outside of Rocky and Cyndi Lauper, is there anything good that came out of that decade?
28 mentions
ARGO by Chris Terrio
“The true story of how the CIA, with help from Hollywood, used a fake movie project to smuggle hostages out of Tehran during the 1979 hostage crisis.”
AGENT Creative Artists Agency – Rowena Arguelles
MANAGER Anonymous Content – Michael Sugar, Bard Dorros
Warner Brothers. Smoke House producing.
Thoughts: This actually sounds like it could be good. I like loglines that tell me why I should be interested (unlike the previous logline). Using a fake movie project to save hostages – that’s something I’ve never seen on film before and will probably never see again. If written well, it has major potential.
24
THE LAST SON OF ISAAC LEMAY by Greg Johnson
“An aging outlaw convinced that there is evil in his genes goes on a journey to kill off his offspring. In the process, he discovers that his last remaining son is a terrifying manifestation of his worst fears.”
AGENT RWSG – Sylvie Rabineau
Blind Wink Productions producing.
Thoughts: There’s not enough information in this logline (by the way – I’m well aware that someone besides the writer or the people affiliated with the project are writing some of these loglines) but the reason this one interests me is that it’s the first script on the list that doesn’t come from a huge agency. That tells me it had to climb over scripts with a lot more exposure to find its way onto the list. For that reason, I’d like to read it.
21
FAMILY GETAWAY by Jeremiah Friedman & Nick Palmer
“A man whose family doesn’t know he’s an assassin must protect them during a cross-country car chase when rival killers show up.”
AGENT United Talent Agency – David Kramer, Jason Burns, Geoff Morley,
Rebecca Ewing
MANAGER Mosaic – Emily Rose, Dawn Saltzman
Warner Brothers. Mosaic producing.
Thoughts: I haven’t read this script but I get the feeling it’s supposed to be the cross-country version of Date Night. That does not bode well for the reading excitement factor. I do know someone who wrote a script with a similar premise that’s really good (e-mail me if you want the writer’s e-mail). Don’t know if I’ll ever read Family Getaway.
18
DIE IN A GUNFIGHT by Andrew Barrer & Gabriel Ferrari
“A young New Yorker falls in love with the daughter of his father’s nemesis, setting in motion a Romeo and Juliet-like forbidden romance.”
AGENT William Morris Endeavor – Danny Greenberg, David Karp, Mike Esola
MANAGER profilic – Stuart Wrede
Media Rights Capital. Mark Gordon Company, Ninjas Runnin’ Wild producing.
Thoughts: I know Roger didn’t flip for this one, thinking it was too much style over not enough substance. But I think the main reason he didn’t dig it was because True Romance is one of his favorite movies, so he held Gunfight up next to an impossible pedestal, a pedestal she simply couldn’t measure up to.
17
BETTER LIVING THROUGH CHEMISTRY by David Posamentier & Geoff Moore
“A straight-laced pharmacist’s uneventful life spirals out of control when he starts an affair with a trophy wife customer who takes him on a joyride involving sex, drugs and possibly murder.”
AGENT International Creative Management – Adam Weinstein
MANAGER Kaplan/Perrone Entertainment – Aaron Kaplan, Sean Perrone
Occupant Films producing.
Thoughts: I’ve tried to read this numerous times and every time I open it, the page count reads “35.” While I’m tempted to read what would be the shortest script ever, I’m convinced it’s not the correct script. I know Aaron Kaplan, the manager, has great taste though, so I’m thinking this should be good. And doesn’t it have MILF Jennifer Garner in the lead role? Is she the one who’s going to be on the “joyride involving sex?” If so, I’m in!
GRAY MAN by Adam Cozad
“American operative Court Gentry, also known as the Gray Man, races against time and teams of government assassins in an effort to save his family.”
AGENT International Creative Management – Aaron Hart, Doug Maclaren
MANAGER Gotham Group – Jeremy Bell
New Regency. Shine Pictures producing.
Thoughts: Cozad has made it back to the Black List. For those keeping tabs, his script “Dubai,” which I thought was pretty good but not great, made the 2007 list with 16 votes. That script was supposed to star Eric Bana, but I’m suspecting the subsequent cooling off of Eric Bana killed the project.
IMAGINE by Dan Fogelman
“A musician in his sixties tries to live his life differently after reading an old letter written to him by John Lennon and Yoko Ono. Of greatest importance to him:tracking down and reconnecting with his biological son, whom he has never met.”
AGENT William Morris Endeavor – Danny Greenberg
MANAGER Industry Entertainment – Eryn Brown
Warner Brothers. Di Novi Pictures, Carousel Productions, Jessie Nelson producing.
Thoughts: Hey, look at who it is. I’m telling you man, if Fogelman dropped the double-death problem from this script, it would have easily made the Top 10. You can’t lay that melodrama on too thick. The audience is too smart. Still, glad to see such a great writer like Fogelman make the list.
16
CHRONICLE by Max Landis
“Three Portland teens become exposed to a mysterious substance in the woods, and, as a result, begin to develop incredible powers. They work together to hone their skills for fun until personal and family problems begin to turn them against one another.”
AGENT William Morris Endeavor – David Karp, Simon Faber, Danny Gabai
MANAGER Circle of Confusion – David Alpert, Britton Rizzio
Fox. Davis Entertainment producing.
Thoughts: Must…read… Chronicle. I guess I haven’t read it yet because I’m not a superhero guy and at least from the logline, it kinda sounds like Heroes, and we all know the taste that show left in our mouths. So, if you’ve read this, can you e-mail me and let me know how it is? Did they do anything different? Cover any new ground? I noticed it finished high on The Hit List as well, so you know he’s doing something right.
GOLD by Patrick Massett & John Zinman
“The true story of the biggest securities exchange fraud in United States history.”
AGENT Creative Artists Agency – Matt Rosen
MANAGER Industry Entertainment – Michael Botti, Andrew Deane Paul Haggis producing.
Thoughts: Need a protagonist here. Too vague to give an opinion. Interesting note though. Zinman wrote Lara Croft: Tomb Raider.
SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN by Evan Daugherty
“A re-imagining of the story of Snow White in which the huntsman sent to kill her becomes her mentor.”
AGENT United Talent Agency – Tobin Babst
MANAGER FilmEngine – Jake Wagner
Universal. Roth Films producing.
Thoughts: HUUUUUUUGE spec sale. One of the biggest of the year at 1.5 million bucks. Most folks seem to think it was okay (as did I) but lacked that extra punch. Well that “punch” was that the studio wanted to make that kind of movie. That’s the real value of getting into the game – being in with people who know what the studios want to buy, as Roth does. If you remember, Daugherty won the Script Pimp competition a few years ago with his mano a mano forest duel, Shrapnel. Enter those contests people. They’re proven to lead to careers.
15
ARE WE OFFICIALLY DATING? by Tom Gormican
“A dating movie told from the male perspective about the lengths men will go through to avoid being officially in a relationship.”
AGENT William Morris Endeavor – Simon Faber, Elia Infascelli-Smith
MANAGER Underground Films & Management – Oly Obst
Scott Aversano, Andrew O’Connor producing.
Thoughts: I love how some of these comedies sound like they could easily be beer commercials. Interesting that we’re 15 scripts down and there’s only been 3 comedies so far. I’m seeing a lot of derivative “same old thing” comedies these days. Comedy writers have to come up with something fresh. Come on guys!
FREE COUNTRY by Josh Parkinson
“The owner of a tourist mining cave kills a rich boy who finds a huge ruby. Chaos ensues when he teams up with his two dysfunctional brothers to hide the body and fence the stone with the victim’s hot-headed twin on the hunt for his brother.”
AGENT Creative Artists Agency – Dan Rabinow, Matt Rosen
MANAGER Gotham Group – Lindsay Williams
Mandate Pictures, Rough House Pictures producing.
THOUGHTS: Kind of a convoluted hard to understand logline but it hints at some intriguing situations and a boatload of conflict. Could be good.
GANGSTER SQUAD by Will Beall
“Amidst the corruption and chaos of 1940s Los Angeles, the LAPD’s Gangster Squad works to keep the East Coast Mafia out of the city.”
AGENT Creative Artists Agency – Jay Baker, Shari Smiley
MANAGER Management 360 – Darin Friedman
Warner Brothers. Lin Pictures, Langley Park Pictures producing.
THOUGHTS: A couple of people have used the adjective “Amazing” to describe this script to me, which I haven’t read yet. This is the script that’s based on a bunch of articles (I believe from back in the 40s) about the corruption of the Los Angeles police department. While the source material sounds a little generic (police corruption in the 40s?), it seems like Baker and Smiley had a blank slate to work with, which allowed them to craft a cool unique story.
YOUR BRIDESMAID IS A BITCH by Brian Duffeld
“After agreeing to groomsman duties at his sister’s wedding, Noah Palmer realizes he may have made the mistake of his life after finding out that the woman who broke his heart is also part of the bridal party.”
AGENT HML – Bob Hohman, Bayard Maybank, Devra Lieb
MANAGER Circle of Confusion – Noah Rosen, Zach Cox
Skydance Productions producing.
THOUGHTS: I mean we have to give it Duffeld. Sure, these aggressive offensive titles are becoming as ubiquitous as Justin Bieber, but flashy titles get more reads. I mean do we really think this is getting read half as much as if it was titled, “The Bridesmaid?” Thoughts? Has anyone read this? Is it the next “I Wanna ____ Your Sister?”
14
ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER by Seth Grahame-Smith
“When the mother of future United States President Abraham Lincoln is murdered by a vampire, he begins a lifelong vendetta to rid the world of the heinous creatures.”
AGENT William Morris Endeavor – Cliff Roberts, Jeff Gorin
Fox. Tim Burton Productions, Bazelevs Productions producing.
THOUGHTS: It’s Abraham Lincoln. He hunts vampires. Do I really need to dissect this sale?
13
HUNGER GAMES by Billy Ray
“Based on the book by Suzanne Collins. In an America of the future, young boys and girls are forced to participate in a televised battle to the death.”
AGENT Creative Artists Agency – Todd Feldman, Brian Kend
MANAGER Management 360 – Guymon Casady
Lionsgate. Color Force producing
THOUGHTS: Billy Ray, who makes 1 bajillion dollars a year doctoring scripts, and who came in and dirtied up the perfect darling that was Source Code, is back in the Black List mix with Hunger Games. I know nothing about this book. All I say is that the idea sounds really silly.
12
WELCOME TO PEOPLE by Alex Kurtzman, Bob Orci, Jody Lambert
“A young man whose father has recently passed away is tasked with bringing $150,000 to an alcoholic sister he never knew about and her twelve-year-old son.”
AGENT Creative Artists Agency – Risa Gertner, Todd Feldman (Kurtzman, Orci)
William Morris Endeavor – Cliff Roberts, David Karp (Lambert)
MANAGER Mosaic – Paul Nelson, Dawn Saltzman (Lambert)
Dreamworks. Kurtzman/Orci producing.
THOUGHTS: This is going to be Kurtzman’s directorial debut and that may surprise you since this is a really low-key drama. I read it a couple of weeks ago and I thought that overall, it worked. It’s very inspired by Rain Man which is probably why I didn’t rate it higher (It never quite reaches the heights of that film) but it’s a funky little script that does things differently than you’d expect it to.
WHAT HAPPENED TO MONDAY? by Max Botkin
“In a world where families are allowed only one child due to overpopulation, a resourceful set of identical septuplets must avoid governmental execution and dangerous infighting while investigating the disappearance of one of their own.”
AGENT Creative Artists Agency – Stuart Manashil, Matt Rosen
MANAGER EML Entertainment – Eva Lontscharitsch
Vendome Pictures. Raffaella Productions producing.
THOUGHTS: Okay so far, this is easily the most fucked up sounding premise of the bunch. It actually sounds like there’s some imagination and voice behind it, that the writer was going for something different. However, while I’m assuming the missing sextuplet’s name is “Monday,” that title doesn’t really go with the logline.
11
THE BUTLER by Danny Strong
“The story of African-American White House butler Eugene Allen, who served eight United States presidents from 1952 to 1986.”
AGENT Creative Artists Agency – Risa Gertner, Maha Dakhil
MANAGER Gotham Group – Lindsay Williams
Sony. Laura Ziskin Productions producing.
THOUGHTS: I remember hearing about this one a long time ago, maybe even last year? Does sound like a unique situation. I’m assuming they’re going to take the Forest Gump route as far as telling the story?
THE ESCORT by Justin Adler
“A ‘flight escort’ responsible for overseeing the safe transport of a spoiled, wise-ass child must find alternate means of getting the kid home to Boston after their plane is grounded.”
AGENT United Talent Agency – Julien Thuan
MANAGER Kapital Entertainment – Aaron Kaplan
Dreamworks. Tom McNulty producing.
THOUGHTS: YES! I love this script. I don’t care if all of you hate it. You’re crazy. The Escort forever!
FUN SIZE by Max Werner
“A high school senior is forced to take her weirdo brother trick-or-treating but loses track of him along the way. With the help of a few classmates, she tries to find him before her mother gets home. Meanwhile, the depraved little brother is having the time of his life.”
AGENT William Morris Endeavor – Danny Greenberg, David Karp
MANAGER Anonymous Content – Bard Dorros
Paramount. Anonymous Content, Fake Empire producing.
THOUGHTS: This sounds a little bit like last year’s Black List script, The Sitter. Played out during Halloween, this could work if the writer’s funny.
10
ARSONIST’S LOVE STORY by Katie Lovejoy
“A young arsonist falls for a woman in the art world that he desperately wants to be apart of.”
AGENT Creative Artists Agency – John Campisi, Craig Brody
THOUGHTS: Need more info please. Still, the arsonist angle is that quirkiness that seems to have eluded the Black List this year.
LOOPER by Rian Johnson
“In the present day, a group of hitmen are sent their victims from the future.”
AGENT Featured Artists Agency – Brian Dreyfuss
Endgame Entertainment. Gordonstreet Pictures producing.
THOUGHTS: I have not read this but I know many who have. They basically tell me that the first half is the greatest script ever written. And then a weird twist happens and the second half just can’t live up to the setup. Rian Johnson of Brick fame doing a sci-fi movie though? Hell yeah, I’ll be there.
MURDOCH by Jesse Armstrong
“As his family gathers for his birthday party, Rupert Murdoch tries to convince his elder children to alter the family trust so that his two youngest children by his newest wife will have voting rights in the company.”
AGENT Creative Artists Agency – Gregory McKnight
THOUGHTS: Someone said it best in the comments sections from last post. This will only become a movie if Murdoch’s lawyers don’t know how to read. Still, the ties to Citizen Kane are uncanny. How awesome would it be to get a modern day telling of a modern day Citizen Kane? I wonder what Murdoch’s rosebud would be? Points for the best suggestion.
ONE DAY by David Nicholls
“Dexter and Emma meet for the first time on college graduation day in 1988 and proceed to reunite one day a year for the next 20 years.”
AGENT Creative Artists Agency – Robert Bookman, JP Evans
Focus Features, Film4. Color Force, Random House Films producing.
THOUGHTS: I tried to write a movie like this once and it just – didn’t – work. That probably has more to do with me than the premise, but as high-concept and fun as the one day a year thing sounds, it’s really hard to pull off a cohesive non-gimmicky story while sticking to that rule. Here’s to hoping Nicholls pulled it off!
PERFECT MATCH by Morgan Schechter & Eric Pearson
“Twenty-eight year old male and female roommates who are longtime best friends and unlucky in love decide to try an internet dating service which promises to introduce them to their ‘perfect match.’ In the process, they discover that they’re each other’s perfect match.”
AGENT United Talent Agency – Rebecca Ewing (Schechter)
International Creative Management – Doug Maclaren (Pearson)
MANAGER Circle of Confusion – Ken Freimann, Britton Rizzio (Schechter)
Michael De Luca Productions producing.
THOUGHTS: Okay, I’m just going to be honest. That logline sounds reaaallllly generic. But hey, if the execution is there, ya never know.
9
THE 13TH MAN by Enio Rigolin
“An unlikely codebreaker is thrust into the role of a hero when he discovers a secret code being sent through comic books during WWII.”
AGENT The Kaplan Stahler Agency – Shan Ray
MANAGER Heroes and Villains Entertaiment – Mikhail Nayfeld, Markus Georg
Dick Hillenbrand
THOUGHTS: This sounds like a geek-fantasy-orgasmatastic-circus, Kickass meets Saving Private Ryan? Not my thing but at least it’s different.
DARK MOON by Olatunde Osunsanmi
“Using found footage, story explores the possibility that manned moon missions did not stop with Apollo 17.”
AGENT Creative Artists Agency – Billy Hawkins, Ben Kramer
MANAGER Caliber Media – Dallas Sonnier
Dark Castle Entertainment. Weed Road Pictures producing.
THOUGHTS: Couldn’t get into this one. Someone I know absolutely loved it but I’ve read a lot of sci-fi over the years and there was nothing new that came up in this script. Plus it’s plagued by that often-found problem where the characters are simply wandering around for the middle 60 minutes with very little to do besides occasionally become surprised. There wasn’t enough structure here to rope me in.
HOT MESS by Jenni Ross
“Four girlfriends make, and then break, a list of rules devised to get the guys of their dreams and discover their inner hot messes in the process.”
AGENT William Morris Endeavor – Simon Faber, Elia Infascelli-Smith
MANAGER Tom Sawyer Entertainment – Rachel Miller, Jesse Hara
Endgame Entertainment. Goldsmith-Thomas Productions producing.
THOUGHTS: Great title. Capitalizing on any buzz phrase will usually get you script reads. And who says the girls aren’t representin? Jenni Ross may have something to say about that. True this sounds like something I’d rather murder myself than watch, but I’m thinking the ladies will like it.
8
EVERLY by Yale Hannon
“The story of one woman’s struggle for redemption as she fights to stay alive and unite with her mother and young daughter, all while staving off vicious attacks by a ruthless army of Yakuzas who have trapped her in her apartment.”
AGENT Verve – Adam Levine, Bryan Besser
Anonymous Content producing.
THOUGHTS: This is one of the more interesting entries on the list. You have a female action lead. And you have Yakuzas attacking her…in an apartment. It sounds like it would be too contained so I know they open it up somehow. Not really my thing and yet I’m still intrigued by this one.
HOOF HARRINGTON’S GREATEST HITS by Dutch Southern
“An aging, semi-retired hitman recalls his murderous career while trying to kill the billionaire who has put out a contract on his life.”
AGENT United Talent Agency – Tobin Babst
MANAGER Energy Entertainment – Brooklyn Weaver, Adam Marshall, Angelina Chen
THOUGHTS: Being honest here. I don’t see one unique aspect in this entire logline (aging, retired, hitman, billionaire, contract on life). I guess the billionaire angle hints at some possible coolness, but I’m really hoping there’s more to this.
THE IMPOSSIBLE by Sergio Sanchez
“After a major tsunami hits a beach resort in Yokohama, Japan, a Spanish family on vacation with young children gets separated and must find each other amidst the wreckage.”
AGENT United Talent Agency – David Flynn, Rich Klubeck
Summit Entertainment. Apaches Entertainment producing.
THOUGHTS: Despite this sounding like it could be melodrama-central, and despite the bad taste that ultra-melodramatic super slow Hereafter left in our mouths, the premise here is pretty strong. I’d like to give this one a read.
MURDER OF A CAT by Christian Magalhars & Robert Snow
“A darkly comic noir about a guy trying to unravel the mystery around the murder of his pet cat.”
AGENT The Gersh Agency – Carolyn Sivitz
MANAGER Madhouse Entertainment – Adam Kolbrenner, Chris Cook
THOUGHTS: Okay, I’ll admit it, I think cats are funny. And someone looking into the murder of one is even funnier. I want to read it.
OZ: THE GREAT AND POWERFUL by Mitchell Kapner
“Based on the books of L. Frank Baum. The story of how a con artist from Kansas became the Wizard behind the curtain.”
AGENT HML – Bob Hohman, Bayard Maybank, Debra Lieb
MANAGER Fineman Entertainment – Ross Fineman
Disney. Roth Films producing.
THOUGHTS: I’m a fan of a lot of things connected to The Wizard Of Oz – one of the weirdest mainstream movies ever made. This is why “Oh Spectre, Never Leaf” won my screenplay competition. But it sounds like we’re stretching here. Origin story of Oz? Do we really need to see that? Are we at a point now where we just do origin stories of every person who’s ever lived? When is Snooki’s origin story coming?
ROAD TO NARDO by Mike Gagerman & Andrew Waller
“Two guys drive to Mexico to rescue their best friend who is broke and without an ID.”
AGENT Agency for the Performing Arts – Debbie Deuble, Sheryl Petersen
MANAGER Circle of Confusion – Britton Rizzio Sony. Original Film, American Work Inc. producing.
THOUGHTS: They should change the title of this to “I Left My Wallet In El Segundo” and let A Tribe Called Quest score the film. Everyone would go see it. I want 5% of Top Dollar gross if this works.
7
ABDUCTION by Shawn Christensen
“When a teenager who has always felt distanced from his parents discovers that he was,in fact, kidnapped as a child, he is thrust into a vast conspiracy and must go on the run in order to survive.”
AGENT Verve – Bryan Besser
MANAGER Caliber Media – Dallas Sonnier
Lionsgate. Vertigo Entertainment, the Gotham Group, Tailor Made Entertainment producing.
THOUGHTS: This is the one that has Team Taylor Lautner attached as his first big post-Twilight starring vehicle. I liked Christensen’s previous million dollar sale, Karma Coalition, but have had a tough time getting up the enthusiasm to read a Taylor Lautner vehicle. Plus several people have told me they didn’t like the script.
CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET? by Megan Martin
“After a woman spills her secrets to a stranger during a turbulent plane ride, she shows up at work to discover that he is the recently returned CEO of her company.”
AGENT William Morris Endeavor – Simon Faber, Craig Kestel
MANAGER Principato/Young Management – Susan Solomon
Seed Productions, Laurence Mark Productions producing.
THOUGHTS: Heh heh. I like this premise. Yeah it sounds like a higher concept version of the opening scene in the first season of Gray’s Anatomy, but it could be good. And yes I saw the premiere episode of Gray’s Anatomy. I was out of shows to watch on the treadmill okay!
CINEMA VERITE by David Seltzer
“Based on the PBS series ‘An American Family,’ cameras follow a family as they go about their daily life.”
AGENT International Creative Management – Nicole Clemens
HBO Films. Pariah producing.
THOUGHTS: I’m all for the power of not-for-profit TV, but if you’re trying to get me excited about anything based on a PBS show, you’re going to spend a long tiresome time trying to get me excited.
THE CLAIM by Damien Chazelle
“A father with a criminal past must save his kidnapped daughter, even as he fights the claim of another couple who insist the girl is theirs.”
AGENT The Gersh Agency – Sandra Lucchesi, Frank Wuliger
MANAGER Exile Entertainment – Gary Ungar
Route One Films producing.
THOUGHTS: Taken will never end. Ever! Here’s something you gotta remember though. The loss of a daughter is a story device that an audience will always connect with on some level. It’s why every lost girl makes the national news. You just have to make sure you provide a new twist to it. Adding the second family here at least gives this a semi-fresh take.
CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE. by Dan Fogelman
“Straight-laced, forty-something Cal Weaver is living the dream – good job, nice house,great kids, and marriage to his high school sweetheart – but when Cal learns that his wife, Emily, has cheated on him and wants a divorce, his ‘perfect’ life quickly unravels.”
AGENT William Morris Endeavor – Danny Greenberg
MANAGER Industry Entertainment – Eryn Brown
Warner Brothers. Di Novi Pictures, Carousel Productions producing.
THOUGHTS: What the FUCK is this doing this low on the list?? Crazy Stupid Love, the 2.5 million dollar sale from Dan Fogelman, should be in the Top 5 easily. And this should at least be higher than Fogelman’s other effort on the list, Imagine. Come on readers, are you smoking crack!??
GET A JOB by Kyle Pennekamp & Scott Turpel
“A comedy about a father and son struggling to find a job in the current job market.”
AGENT Creative Artists Agency – Gregory McKnight, JP Evans
CBS Films. Double Feature Films producing.
THOUGHTS: I coulda swore this was on the previous Black List and it wasn’t a father and son looking for a job but four friends. I remember being very underwhelmed by that effort, so hopefully these rewrites have steered the script in the right direction.
THE GIRL WITH SOMETHING EXTRA by Terrence Michael
“A young man who has been raised his entire life to believe that he is a girl comes of age as he enters high school and learns his true gender.”
AGENT Original Artists – Chris Sablan
MANAGER Media Talent Group – Chris Davey
THOUGHTS: I just burst out laughing after reading this premise, but I’m still unsure as to why. Is this going to be American Pie type humor or a quirky but serious melo-dramedy about transgenderism a la Transgendermerica (or whatever that Felicity Huffman quirkfest was called?). The tone will determine the success of this puppy.
HOW IT ENDS by Brooks Mclaren
“When an apocalypse strikes, a man halfway across the country from his pregnant wife goes on a dangerous and desperate journey to get back to her.”
AGENT International Creative Management – Adam Weinstein, Emil Gladstone, Aaron Hart
The Schiff Company producing.
THOUGHTS: People getting split up and having to find each other is the hot new trend in Hollywood! Jump on it! I’m sure I’m not the first one who thought of The Day After Tomorrow while reading this. The good news is that the bar hasn’t been set high to have the best movie in this sub-genre.
HYDE by Cole Haddon
“An allegedly rehabilitated Dr. Jekyll is pulled out of prison to help hunt a new monster who seems to be using an improved version of the Hyde serum.”
AGENT International Creative Management – Lars Theriot, Ava Jamshidi
MANAGER Anonymous Content – Alex Goldstone
Dark Horse Entertainment, Mark Gordon Productions, Skydance Productions producing.
THOUGHTS: Okay, a new spin on the Jeckyll and Hyde tale. I guess I can buy it. At least it’s not an origin story.
KEEP COMING BACK by Michael Gilio
“When an adrenaline-junkie interventionist attempts to save a troubled woman, he nearly loses everything in the process.”
AGENT United Talent Agency – Julien Thuan
MANAGER Industry Entertainment – Eryn Brown
Fox Searchlight. Ad Hominem Enterprises producing.
THOUGHTS: Yeah baby! 2012’s Risky Business?
THE LAST WITCH HUNTER by Cory Goodman
“With the population of witches and warlocks on the brink of a major explosion, one witch hunter must stop them before it’s too late.”
AGENT William Morris Endeavor – Mike Esola
MANAGER Aperture – Adam Goldworm
Summit Entertainment. Aperture producing.
THOUGHTS: I don’t know anything about The Last Witch Hunter but let me say that I just saw the trailer for Season Of The Witch, the Nicholl-winning script which I loved, and they turned it into a fucking Harry Potter movie with big colorful text to let us know that everything’s going to be just fine. That script was so dark. What the hell happened??
RICKY STANICKY by Jeff Bushell
“For years, three lifelong friends have used an invented character named Ricky Stanicky to get out of sticky situations. When their wives demand a meeting with Ricky, the friends hire an actor to portray him.”
AGENT William Morris Endeavor – Mike Esola
MANAGER Smart Entertainment – John Jacobs
Summit Entertainment. Michael De Luca Productions, Smart Entertainment producing.
THOUGHTS: We’ve seen versions of this before but of the 7 or so comedies I’ve seen so far on the list, this premise ignites the highest probability for laughs. Can someone tell me if this is worth reading? Is it any good?
EASY MONEY by Noah Oppenheim
“Based on the film Snabba Cash, a business school student with substantial ambition works in strategy for a New York City criminal enterprise.”
AGENT Creative Artists Agency – Rowena Arguelles, Billy Hawkins
MANAGER Management 360 – Guymon Casady, Darin Friedman
Warner Brothers. Atlas Entertainment, Ninjas Runnin’ Wild Productions producing.
THOUGHTS: Snabba Cash is a great title. Makes me want to check out the original film. But unless there’s something extra they’re not telling us about, the logline alone sounds boring.
ZOMBIE BABY by Andy Jones
“After the zombie apocalypse, a young couple unsure about whether to start a family has the decision made for them when they take in an orphaned zombie baby they don’t have the heart to kill.”
MANAGER Alan Gasmer & Friends – Alan Gasmer, Daniel Vang
Unnamed Yorn Company, Alan Gasmer & Friends producing.
THOUGHTS: Just the fact that somebody wrote an entire movie called “Zombie Baby” means I’m going to have to read it. However, this confirms my theory that we need to start finding new subjects and genres to make movies about because there are only so many fresh angles you can find on a tried and true genre!
6
ATM by Chris Sparling
“Three co-workers end up in a desperate fight for survival when they stop to use an ATM.”
AGENT United Talent Agency – Charlie Ferraro, Doug Johnson
MANAGER Kaplan/Perrone Entertainment – Aaron Kaplan, Sean Perrone
Gold Circle Films, The Safran Company producing.
THOUGHTS: Chris Sparling, who wrote the ultra awesome Buried, is back with ATM, which believe it or not, I still haven’t read. Here’s why. I loved Buried so much that I’m afraid ATM can’t live up to my expectations. It seems like Chris made a smart career decision, writing something similar enough to his breakout script to get purchased, but I’m so worried ATM will feel like a not-as-good version of Buried that I can’t open it up. I know some of you have read it. What did you think?
BOY SCOUTS VS. ZOMBIES by Carrie Evans & Emi Mochizuko
“A troop of Boy Scouts on their weekend camping trip must protect an island town from a zombie outbreak and save the local girl scout troop.”
AGENT HML – Bob Hohman, Bayard Maybank, Devra Lieb
MANAGER Brucks Entertainment – Bryan Brucks
Paramount. Broken Road Productions producing.
THOUGHTS: This definitely needs to be combined with Zombie Baby in some sort of cross-promotional zombie madness extravaganza. Also, there needs to be a zombie midget involved. I’ll let you guys chew on that.
THE EVER AFTER MURDERS by Ian Fried
“In a dark metropolis populated with characters from classical folklore, detectives Tom Thumb and Rachel Riding investigate a murder that brings them into contact with the city’s most dangerous inhabitants.”
AGENT William Morris Endeavor – Mike Esola
MANAGER prolific – Will Rowbotham
THOUGHTS: I’ve read these kinds of scripts before and there’s always something missing in them, like the writers are more concerned with finding the clever little folklore connections than they are the story itself. Let’s hope Fried doesn’t make the same mistake.
HOVERCAR 3D by Blaise Hemingway
“Set in the future, an ex-con street racer has to transport a whistle blower across country in a high speed hovercar with an army of authorities trying to stop them.”
AGENT International Creative Management – Harley Copen, Ava Jamshidi Disney. Beacon Pictures, Millar/Gough Ink producing.
THOUGHTS: Hmmm. Part of me wants to say, “No.” A script titled “Hovercar 3D?” Could it be any more geared to 13 year olds? Then again, before Robocop became Robocop, that title was laughed out of the room as well. Just please don’t be like Death Race 3000.
LOLA VERSUS by Daryl Wein & Zoe Lister-Jones
“A twenty-nine year old woman has to reevaluate her life after her long time boyfriend calls off their wedding at the last minute.”
AGENT The Gersh Agency – Carolyn Sivitz
MANAGER Management 360 – Daniel Rappaport
Fox Searchlight. Groundswell Productions producing.
THOUGHTS: Come on now. I say this with love but this is why romantic comedies are getting such a bad rap these days. This logline is Generic Central.
PROM by Katie Wech
“High school students prepare for their prom.”
AGENT International Creative Management – Nicole Clemens, Todd Hoffman
Ava Jamshidi Disney. Idealogy, Inc. producing.
THOUGHTS: I read someone complaining about this in the previous post and I know I just put a logline down for being too generic, but a script that focuses specifically on prom might work. In every one of these high school movies, prom is always the logical finish line for the story, but I’ve never seen an entire movie dedicated specifically to prom.
REPLAY by Jason Smilovic
“Based on the Ken Grimwood novel. A man dies, wakes up in his 18-year old body, and gets to relive his life over and over. With his original memory intact, he takes the opportunity to travel down roads he passed up the first time around.”
AGENT Creative Artists Agency – Risa Gertner, Jay Baker
MANAGER Madhouse Entertainment – Adam Kolbrenner
Warner Brothers. Goldsmith-Thomas Productions producing.
THOUGHTS: I can see this as a movie. You know who they should get to play the lead? Zac Efron. He’d be perfect. Okay, easy joke. I’m sorry. Yeah, it’s a body switch movie but body switch movies tend to be the perfect genre for high concept fare.
SIDNEY GRIMES by Brian Helgeland
“A man just out of prison seeks revenge on his former partner who got him locked up.”
MANAGER Brillstein Entertainment Partners – Missy Malkin
Todd Black, Billy Gerber producing.
THOUGHTS: Oh wow, mega-millionaire writer Brian Helgeland creeps onto The Black List with six votes. I hadn’t heard about Sidney Grimes so I’m wondering if this leaked out to only a few select people, and those people voted on it? Has anyone read this?
5
ALIVE ALONE by Khurram Longi
“A London-based suicide bomber is having a crisis of conscience as he and his cell are planning an attack in the city. His female next door neighbor, a drug addict and prostitute, has men who want to kill her after witnessing the murder of her john. These two find solace in each other as they try to survive their respective situations.”
AGENT Creative Artists Agency – Robert Bookman, Martin Spencer
Sarah Radclyffe producing.
THOUGHTS: Here’s something surprising. There still hasn’t been a good terrorist movie made. I don’t know if they’re too much of a downer for audiences or someone just hasn’t figured out the formula yet but these films have all struggled. Alive Alone sounds like it could be interesting, if a little…depressing.
F*CKING JANE AUSTEN by Blake Bruns
“Two friends angry at Jane Austen for creating unrealistic romantic expectations among women today get sent back in time to the nineteenth century. The only way for them to return home is for one of them to get Jane Austen to fall in love and sleep with him.”
MANAGER Brucks Entertainment – Bryan Brucks
Brucks Entertainment producing.
THOUGHTS: This is the first logline I genuinely laughed at. I don’t know if it’s any good but the premise is funny enough where I’m willing to check it out.
THE FLIGHT OF THE NEZ PERCE by E. Nicholas Mariani
“The true story of Chief Joseph and his resistance to his tribe’s relocation to a military settlement in Idaho during the 1800s.”
AGENT United Talent Agency – Charlie Ferraro, Jenny Maryasis
MANAGER Circle of Confusion – David Alpert, Britton Rizzio
THOUGHTS: This script might be amazing. I really have no idea. But this definitely takes the cake for most boring sounding script on the list.
HIT AND RUN by Owen Yarde
“A young man discovers that the undertaker who recently hired him as his driver is actually a hit man for the mafia.”
AGENT William Morris Endeavor – Cliff Roberts, David Karp
THOUGHTS: The undertaker angle sounds like it could be good, but it’s not clear how that plays into the story.
KITCHEN SINK by Oren Uziel
“A human teenager, a vampire, and a zombie must save their town from an alien invasion.”
AGENT International Creative Management – Harley Copen
MANAGER Circle of Confusion – Britton Rizzio
THOUGHTS: Oren is a great writer! He wrote one of my favorites scripts from last year, Shimmer Lake, which won the Austin screenwriting contest and was a story told backwards that actually worked! (usually the backwards thing is a gimmick – whereas here it added to the story). It’s good to see that Oren is once again trying something weird and kooky. I always poo-poo zombies, vampires, and aliens in the same script, but if there’s anyone who can pull it off, it’s Oren.
NESS/CAPONE by Grant Myers
“The true story of young Elliot Ness taking down Al Capone.”
AGENT Paradigm – Mark Ross
MANAGER Gotham Group – Jeremy Bell
THOUGHTS: I refuse to read this unless it’s an origin story.
O.K.C. by Clay Wold
“An ambitious legal aide working for the Timothy McVeigh defense team tries to get to the bottom of what really happened during the Oklahoma City bombing.”
AGENT United Talent Agency – Charlie Ferraro, Barbara Dreyfus
MANAGER Kaplan/Perrone Entertainment – Aaron Kaplan, Sean Perrone
The Safran Company producing.
THOUGHTS: Don’t know anything about this one but once again, I rarely disagree with manager Kaplan, so I’ll be scooping it up and giving it a read.
PAINT by Brit McAdams
“A Bob Ross-esque PBS painting show host must fight for his career when his station brings in a rival painting host.”
AGENT United Talent Agency – Blair Kohan, Geoff Morley
MANAGER The Collective – Sam Maydew
Rip Cord Productions producing.
THOUGHTS: This actually sounds kind of funny. I take back what I said about PBS earlier. It turns out good ideas can stem from the public network.
PAPER AIRPLANE by Sid Karger
“After sabotaging another family vacation, a travel agent who’s afraid to fly battles his irrational phobias in order to win back his wife and daughter.”
AGENT William Morris Endeavor – Mike Esola
MANAGER Madhouse Entertainment – Adam Kolbrenner
THOUGHTS: I like the inherent irony in the premise. A travel agent who’s afraid to fly. Good title too. I guess all that’s left is, what’s the genre? If this is some schmaltzy family comedy starring Tim Allen, I’m out. But if it has a little more weight and stars, maybe, Ryan Gosling, I’m in.
POINT A by Chris Rubeo
“An unconventional romantic comedy between a thirty year old magazine writer and the subject of his newest piece, a witty, wise beyond her years teenage video blogger.”
AGENT International Creative Management – Aaron Hart, Adam Weinstein
MANAGER Tantillo Entertainment – John Tantillo
THOUGHTS: Gotta represent for my fellow bloggers yo. If it’s a script about a blogger, I gotta give it a what-what. You may set me on fire if you ever see me for writing those last two sentences. What number are we at now? Is the Black List a list of the top scripts or every script ever written?
SERENA by Chris Kyle
“In 1930s North Carolina, George Pemberton, with the help of his father’s money, owns and runs a logging operation in the Smoky Mountains. George meets and marries Serena,a strong-willed, scheming, ambitious woman.”
AGENT International Creative Management – Robert Lazar
Nick Wechsler Productions, Exclusive Media Group producing.
THOUGHTS: Isn’t Robert Lazar the guy who worked at Area 51 whose identity was destroyed by the government because he told the public about aliens? Now if you wrote a script about Area 51 Robert Lazar trying to be a lit manager in LA, THAT’S a movie I’d go see. Annnnnnnnnd…SCENE.
Suffice it to say I was going a little batty there at the end. If you’re a writer on the Black List and I didn’t give your logline its due props and a thoughtful soundbite, I apologize profusely. Honestly, everyone who made this list, CONGRATULATIONS! It’s a major accomplishment and outside the big sale and the Oscar, the most accurate representation of well-written material out there.
This list has a little something old and a little something new. First of all, the CIA-FBI spy thrillers will always do well on this list AND tends to do well in the marketplace. If you have one of those scripts, and it’s at least kinda a unique take, you’re in good shape. I’m still surprised by the lack of quirk here. Where are all those weird writers? Maybe the unthinkable has happened and we’ve all truly become homogenized and will never have an original idea again.
College Republicans number 1. I think this is a result of a politically obsessed Hollywood, and not representative of a script that would do well in the mainstream. Then again, you could say the same thing about The Beaver, which looks even more bizarre in trailer form than it did at the top of this list. What the hell is the deal with CR? Can someone tell me why it’s number 1 and if I should read it? The logline puts me to sleep.
I think the scripts to take note of here are the ones from all the smaller agencies (like Featured Artists, Original Artists, etc). Those guys don’t have the backing of a huge company who likely passes their scripts around like pancakes, so for them to fight their way onto the list says something. I’ll surely be checking out some of those scripts for that reason.
As for the scripts I personally want to look at just from their logline (or what I know about the writer), I’d say Gangster Squad cause I heard it’s great, The Butler, Everly, Murder Of A Cat, Can You Keep A Secret, Ricky Stanicky, Fucking Jane Austen, Kitchen Sink, Paint, and Paper Airplane.
What about you guys? Which ones do you want to read? Which ones have you read and what did you think? Anything you think I need to read – like – now? Get your opinions out there!
Genre: Comedy
Premise: When he suspects that his long-time astronaut girlfriend might be cheating on him up on the International Space Station, Doug, a janitor for NASA, decides to head into space to stop her.
About: Space Invader has been kicking around development for a couple of years now. At one point it was gearing up for production, but like an aborted shuttle launch, fell apart at the last second. Part of the problem may be the attachment of Will Arnett. Not that I have anything against Arnett. He’s funny and actually perfect for the role, but it’s hard to justify a 50 million dollar price tag with him in the lead. Also complicating things is that Fox Atomic, who owned the property, is no longer around. From what I hear that usually throws a wrench into production. The writers, Lisbe and Reger (who sold the script back in 2007) met while writing on Spin City
Writers: Mike Lisbe & Nate Reger
Details: 114 pages – Februay 5, 2007 (This is an early draft of the script. The situations, characters, and plot may change significantly by the time the film is released. This is not a definitive statement about the project, but rather an analysis of this unique draft as it pertains to the craft of screenwriting).
Sometimes shit just makes you laugh.
This made me laugh.
From the very first page, where our hero walks towards the shuttle in cheesy “The Right Stuff
And you’re either going to be into it or not (a couple of you have already e-mailed to inform me you were emphatically NOT).
Despite you Negative Nellies, I really liked it. So what’s it about?
Doug Huggins Jr., the only cocky janitor in NASA history, never became an astronaut. His father was one of the greatest astronauts of all time but none of that rubbed off on Doug. Doug seems strangely okay with this and gets by with a little help from his best friend Glenn (who’s 30 and decides to “retire” when he inherits 150 thousand dollars, which Doug points out will mean he has to live on 3,000 dollars a year) and his perfect girlfriend Beth.
How Doug landed Beth, a beautiful astronaut about to embark on her first mission, is a bigger mystery than how we’re getting to Mars, but he somehow got her, and boy is he doing his best to screw it up. Doug’s been with Beth for five years and *still* hasn’t popped the question. Naturally this has become a point of contention in the relationship (it always is, isn’t it?).
Joining Beth up on this mission is Stamp Majors, who’s like Buzz Aldrin mixed with President Obama mixed with Bono mixed with Brad Pitt. He’s the perfect human being and universally loved across the world. But the bigger issue here is that maybe, just maybe, he has a little thing for Beth.
So when the two head up to the International Space Station and Doug sees them astro-flirt on TV, he’s convinced that Beth is going to leave him for Stamp. So what does he do? Well, he decides to go up and stop her!
Getting up to space stations is tricky but when the Latvian government mistakes Doug for his famous father, they agree to put him on their next rocket to space.
Ground control to major Tom……
Beth is more than a little surprised when Doug show up, but it appears it’s too little too late. Doug is a loser who had his chance and blew it. Stamp is perfect and every woman’s dream. Looks like the trip was for naught. It’s one thing when you drive over to your ex’s house and she tells you it’s over. It’s quite another when you show up at her space station and she tells you it’s over. Awwwwk-ward.
But Doug won’t give up, and gets into a duel with Stamp, determined to prove himself as the better man. Over the course of this duel, he finds out that Stamp is (of course) a slimy asshole who’s faking his whole Superman persona. He’s really a jerk who just wants to get into Beth’s pants. Once Doug figures that out, it’s game on.
Did I mention I liked this? It’s an original idea for a comedy, something I haven’t quite seen before, and as we discuss a lot, that’s the first step – give the reader something they haven’t seen before. It’s like slipping the bouncer 20 bucks at the club. You get to walk to the front of the line.
Now part of any comedy’s success depends on whether the reader personally finds the subject matter funny, and that’s something that’s going to change from person to person. I happen to think comedies that revolve around cheating are funny, so to take that to the extreme by having a guy fly to a space station to stop his girlfriend from cheating on him was hilarious.
Contrast this with an infidelity film that’s about to hit theaters – The Dilemma – and I don’t know what the hell those writers were thinking. The hook in that movie is that a guy can’t figure out whether he should tell his buddy his wife is cheating on him?? Where the hell is the conflict in that?? “Yes.” The answer’s “Yes.” Movie over. The focus should be on the people involved, not the people associated with the people involved. Talk about finding the least interesting angle to a story. But I digress.
I think a key reason why the comedy works here is that both the hero, Doug, and the villain, Stamp, are eccentric weird exaggerated funny characters. Doug is a slacker janitor who’s afraid of commitment yet completely oblivious as to why Beth would leave him. And Stamp is living a dual life – pretending to be a hero when he’s really an egotistical asshole who’s infatuated with himself. Watching these two – neither of which is good enough for Beth – battle for her heart is hilarious.
There are, unfortunately, some problems that kept this from getting an impressive. I’m not sure I ever bought the whole “Latvian” angle. A country with barely enough money to run itself isn’t going to have a space program, no matter how decrepit. I thought Lisbe and Reger walked a tough line, trying to make the comedy just broad enough so that we would buy this, but I never did.
I thought Glenn, the best friend character, was stupid. There’s this whole thing where he hasn’t gotten laid in seven years and now he’s trying to have sex with one of the Japanese astronauts…It just felt like he belonged in another movie. This is a common issue all writers run into, especially in comedies. You have someone who may be a good character, but they’re not a good character for this movie and that’s how Glenn felt.
But the biggest miscalculation is the twist ending. And I’m going to spoil it for you here – that’s how much confidence I have that they’re going to change it – so if you don’t want to know, stop reading. Late in the script, Stamp reveals he’s secretly working for the Latvian government and is holding Beth for ransom to get 10 billion dollars from the U.S. to give to Latvia. Besides the endless logistical problems with this twist (after Latvia receives the money, the American military can just walk into the country and take it back), it’s just a desperate twist. It doesn’t feel natural to the story we’ve been reading for the past 70 minutes.
Luckily, there are enough laughs in the finale to overcome it, but it’s a dark cloud on an otherwise really funny script. If they can figure out this ending (or if Theroux already did) this could be a classic. Really dug it.
[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[xx] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius
What I learned: The forced twist – One of the worst things you can do as a writer is throw a twist in just to throw a twist in. Like I mentioned above, instead of the Stamp twist being clever, it’s desperate, like you don’t believe in your story enough to let it stand on its own, so you need to slap in some gimmick to mask the other problems the script has. It would take me too long to discuss how to plant the perfect twist, but I can at least give you a method for detecting if your twist works. Simply ask, “Does it feel right?” Be honest with yourself. Does it feel like a natural extension of your story? Take a look at Hancock
Genre: Indie/Drama/Love Story
Premise: After a young woman in a small town finds out she’s going to die, she meets a man who will go to the ends of the earth to preserve her memory.
About: This was one of the ten finalists in the 2010 Nicholl Fellowship screenwriting contest. The Nicholl is the biggest screenwriting competition in the world. It receives over 6000 entries every year. Friends who read all the scripts recommended The Last Queen to me.
Writer: Tim Macy
Details: 104 pages – undated (This is an early draft of the script. The situations, characters, and plot may change significantly by the time the film is released. This is not a definitive statement about the project, but rather an analysis of this unique draft as it pertains to the craft of screenwriting).
I wasn’t going to review any Nicholl scripts this year but a bunch of you kept e-mailing asking me to please please please review them so I finally decided to read one. I understand the curiosity. Screenwriters want to see what’s winning or placing in the biggest screenwriting competition in the world. Makes sense. Unfortunately, I think they’re curious for the wrong reasons. It seems like most writers want to see what won just so they can say, “That?? That won over *my* script?? There’s no way! Contests are shams!”
Here’s the thing with screenwriting contests. When you become a really good writer, people notice, and they start paying you for it. Once you get paid, you can’t enter a lot of these contests (You don’t qualify for Nicholl if you’ve made – I believe – more than 5,000 dollars writing). That means that the entrants in these competitions are all true amateurs. And we’re amateurs for a reason. Because we haven’t figured it out yet.
Sure we’ll have a great scene here or a great villain there. But we might not know how to build up a second act yet. We might not know how to arc our main character. We might have trouble with dialogue or not yet know how to add conflict to our scenes. We may not have discovered subtext. We might make things too easy for our characters. We might not know when to cut a pointless subplot or how to fix a romance that has no spark. There are hundreds of skills that need to be perfected in screenwriting and that takes time. It’s part of the challenge of this unbelievably difficult craft, and what makes it so fun.
So don’t cut these scripts down because they won. Try to figure out what they did right. Learn from them. This isn’t a panel of dopes deciding on these things. These are guys who know their shit. Figure out why they’re picking these screenplays over yours then use that knowledge to improve your next draft.
All right. After that long and possibly worthless rant, let’s get on to our review…
Neff is a small town 20-something girl who lives alone in a trailer. High school was pretty good to her but she’s fallen through the cracks since. She works as a checker at “Tut’s,” the local supermarket, throwing boxes of saturated fat across a scanner all day until her hands go numb.
Neff’s only real hope is her writing. She’s written a novel titled “The Last Queen” which she’s sent to every publisher known to man. They’ve all rejected her.
One night after work, Neff loses control of her car and crashes. It shakes her up a bit but she feels fine. That is until the doctors inform her that the crash has opened a vessel in her brain, and that this particular inoperable injury will kill her within a few weeks. Make sure to wear your seatbelts boys and girls. And don’t text and drive.
On the other side of town, Livingston Wells, a plain staunchy young man, has come back home to bury his father, who’s left Livingston his farm. Livingston’s bitchy older sister, Juniper, is running for Mayor of the town, and wants to buy the farm from Livingston and use it as a food source for the town, in hopes that the gesture will win her votes.
Livingston could care less. That is until he runs into Neff. You see, Livingston has been in love with Neff ever since they were kids. But high school being the way it is, she never noticed him. Before he treks back off into the real world, he figures ‘why not,’ and marches over to Tut’s to ask her out (in one of my favorite scenes of the script).
It doesn’t take long for Neff to reveal her predicament though, and their relationship is off to the races, trying to cram in as much together time as two can in a few weeks. Eventually, however, they have to face reality, and when Neff tells him about her fascination with ancient pharaohs, Livingston comes up with the idea that they build her a tomb here on his farm.
See Neff is terrified of being forgotten. And by Livingston’s estimation, the adjacent river will feed back over the burial site in about 10,000 years, exposing the tomb and allowing whoever is around at the time to dig her up. She’ll essentially become a link to the past for whoever’s around then.
Of course, as Livingston begins to build this thing, the town rebels against it, and since questionable activity from a brother doesn’t help your Mayoral race, Juniper spearheads a movement to stop Livingston from building the tomb.
The Last Queen is reminiscent of two of my favorite movies, Field of Dreams 
Obviously, the subject matter is pretty morbid. I mean the entire story is focused on a character who’s about to die. As a writer, it’s pretty tough to pull in anyone other than a niche audience when death is the theme of your movie.
So what do you do?
You include humor.
If you can make the audience laugh, they’ll be more willing to go on this journey with you, as we are here. I wasn’t a huge fan of The Bucket List
Here, Neff is celebrating absurd future birthdays with people she doesn’t know. She’s sarcastic, constantly commenting on the ridiculousness of the ordeal. There’s a lightheartedness to the whole thing that keeps the story from becoming a melodramatic mess. I probably would’ve liked even more humor, but what’s here is adequate.
I also want to applaud Macy for solving a tough problem. How do you write a movie about a guy willing to mortgage his house to build a tomb for a girl he started dating three days ago? We’re simply not going to buy that story without some extenuating circumstances. So Macy made the smart choice of giving Livingston a lifelong crush on Neff. Essentially, this relationship started a long time ago. Just not on Neff’s side. This may seem unimportant. But you need to make sure the logic of your characters’ choices holds up in a screenplay. If your character does something nonsensical just because you need him to to make the story work, your screenplay will scream amateur.
The Last Queen also has a couple of nice ticking time bombs going for it. Obviously you have Neff’s death. But you also have a parallel ticking time bomb in the town election, which pushes our villain, Juniper, to act now as opposed to later. These are the things that add urgency to your story, which I don’t see in a lot of contest scripts that aren’t advancing. Ticking time bombs are the easiest way to give thrust and immediacy to your story.
I did have some problems with the script, but nothing that can’t be fixed. People are going to go nuts about the on-the-nose character naming here. Neff (Nefertiti). She works at “Tut’s” (King Tut). I think Macy takes it a little too far and while this didn’t really bother me, I know it bugs the hell out of other readers.
It’s also never explained how Neff became a recluse when she was apparently popular enough in high school to be wanted by all the boys. It’s rare in small towns that that kind of person just dissolves and becomes a hermit. I mean she doesn’t have a husband, a boyfriend, a best friend, anything really. And it’s not clear to me why that is but I can take a guess.
For whatever reason, early on in every writer’s career, they’re attracted to loner characters. They like characters who are out on their own doing nothing, probably because that’s kind of how writers are. But it’s hard to make these kinds of characters interesting and I believe that’s the case here. Neff is so distant, so inaccessible that it’s hard to connect with her. In fact, her personality is so protected, we have trouble believing that she’s even interested in Livingston in the first place. And for this to work, you have to believe in the love between these two. So it’s not there yet, but it can get there.
The Last Queen was right up my alley. It has its faults but overall it’s a unique offbeat story that’s worth checking out.
[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[x] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius
WHAT I LEARNED: Make sure the love interest in your screenplay is just as fleshed out as your hero. When you write a script, your first job is to deal with your main character’s life: their backstory, their flaws, their idiosyncrasies, their relationships with friends and family, any inner conflict they’re dealing with, etc. But what I’ve found is that writers get so exasperated from building that character, they give only half the effort when building up the romantic interest. Their backstory is half-assed, they probably don’t have a flaw, the writer doesn’t pay attention to their relationships with others. This is a huge mistake. You want to know just as much about the other person as you do the hero. Here, Livingston has a whole life going on before Neff even enters into the equation. His father just died. He has a dysfunctional relationship with his sister. He has to decide whether to sell his farm or not. We could probably build another movie around Livingston because he has so much going on. Make sure to approach all your big characters this way.