Here are the 2009 Black List scripts with my thoughts. Here is also a link to the list. It’s going to take me a good 4-5 hours to put up my thoughts on everything. I may put them up in increments or just one big chunk, so keep checking back in. I know a lot of you want me to post script links but in light of some of the recent controversy surrounding the site, I’m not going to. However, they *will* be posted somewhere. My advice is to dig around Nikki Finke’s site, Matriarchal Script Paradigm, or really any blog or site that has comments (look in my blog roll down and to the right), and comb through those puppies, as a big list of links will likely surface. Good luck!

Edit: If you are the writer or agent or manager or producer of any of these scripts and would like to add some more information (anything that’s interesting about the project, any extra key details, genre, a full synopsis, story behind the writer or the script, anything at all, please e-mail me and I’ll add accordingly: Carsonreeves1@gmail.com

2nd edit: Just added about 15 more to the list. Going to take a break. Next update will be roughly around 11:30pm Pacific time. Also, late tomorrow, I’m going to break down the list a little more, from agency to gender to genre, that kind of thing. So that should be fun. Oh, and I have word that there are people with all the Black List scripts. I anticipate they’ll be coming online soon, easily by the end of the day. You just have to keep looking around, cause I’m not going to post them. :)

1) The Muppet Man by Christopher Weekes – A look at Jim Henson’s life, the creator of the most famous puppet franchise of all time, The Muppets.

Thoughts: I have to say I’m a little surprised but also very happy this script is number 1. As I noted in my review, I wasn’t a huge fan of the first two acts of the script (not enough conflict in my eyes), but the last act is so fucking good that it makes you forget all that. I’d like to think Scriptshadow helped out here, as it maybe bumped up the profile of the script when it got reviewed, but you never know. The reason I’m surprised is that it did not make the Top 25 Reader Faves List. That’s the only reason I’m thrown that it landed the number 1 slot. Still, this is a good script to represent the top honor for the 2009 list.

Review is here.

2) The Social Network by Aaron Sorkin – A look at the rise of Facebook and the effect it’s had on its founders.

Thoughts: Well what can you say here. This is one of the script reviews that put Scriptshadow on the map. There was a lot of laughing from the movie industry at the thought of someone making a Facebook movie (and plenty of jokes were made at Sony’s expense) so when I received the script, I expected it to be the worst thing ever written. It turned out to be almost exactly the opposite. Just a great great script. I don’t know how much of an effect it had on the project, but there were certainly a lot less snarky internet comments after that. Its still not a cinematic script by any means, but that’s why you bring in David Fincher.

Review is here.

3) The Voices by Michael R. Perry – Jerry, a schizophrenic worker at a bathtub factory, accidentally kills an attractive woman from accounting. While trying to cover his bloody tracks, Jerry starts taking advice from his talking (and foul-mouthed) cat and dog.

Thoughts: This is a script someone told me to read months ago but I was either too busy or falsely heard it was a standard horror film or something, but it didn’t sound interesting at the time. In the last week alone I’ve heard about ten people tell me I have to read it. With that logline, you can bet I’m going to. Sounds deliciously wacky. This will be one of the first ones I review.

No review.

4) Prisoners – When his young daughter and her best friend vanish on Thanksgiving Day, Keller Dover takes matters into his own hands, imprisoning and torturing the man who he thinks did it. But does he have the wrong man?

Thoughts: Prisoners by Aaron Guzikowski is a script I liked, but didn’t quite love. Its strength is its pitch-perfect dark tone, but it’s a little messy in places, particularly in the end, where it seems to pay off things that were never set up. The thing I find most fascinating about Prisoners is that it was probably the hottest spec screenplay all year, and yet for a long time, because they couldn’t get the right attachments, it didn’t sell. First time screenwriter Aaron Guzikowski must have been fucking flipping out. I mean, they can assure you all they want that everything will eventually work out, but I wouldn’t have wanted to be waiting in those shoes for all those months. In the end he won out though, landing a million dollar sale.

No review (taken down for various reasons)

5. Cedar Rapids by Phil Johnston – A small town insurance salesman heads off to the “big city” of Cedar Rapids, Iowa, to try and save his company.

Thoughts: Cedar Rapids was another nice little script, however this is another screenplay I’m surprised landed so high. The first act put me off because of what seemed like the cliche “Midwesterners are idiots” angle. But once you get used to the writing style and Johnston’s voice, the script just gets better and better. As others have mentioned, the casting here with Ed Helms and Sigourney Weaver (to start) is really really good. Go ahead and read the review for yourself.

Review.

6) Londongrad by David Scarpa – This is an adaptation of the Alan Cowell book, “The Terminal Spy: A True Story of Espionage, Betrayal and Murder” which is supposedly about the death of that soviet spy who was poisoned by radioactive tea.

Thoughts: Don’t have much to say about this one because I’d never heard of it before today’s list. It’s not really my thing so if this does get reviewed on the site, it probably won’t be for awhile.

no review

7) L.A. Rex by Will Beall (based on his novel of the same name) – Rookie LAPD officer Ben Halloran gets partnered with scarred and tobacco-spitting Officer Marquez, and the unlikely team hit the streets of L.A. on the brink of a gang-rivalry explosion amid run-ins with the Mexican mafia, brutal gang murders, and corrupt cops.

Thoughts: Beall is a former LAPD homicide detective and on the LAPD for ten years. He wrote this book while he was still on the job. Roger’s been jonezing to read this so I’d expect a review of this on Monday.

no review

8) Desperados by Ellen Rapoport – Wesley Robbins, a 30-something single attorney with an unhealthy obsession with coupling up, thinks she’s found the perfect man. But when he doesn’t call for days after the first time they sleep together she freaks out and sends him a scathing email, only to learn he’s been laid up in a Mexican hospital with some broken bones. On a whim, she and her girlfriends travel down south to erase the email before she ruins what she believes could be her one true love.

Thoughts: I’ve been hearing good things about what a lot of people have been calling, “The Female Version of The Hangover.” The premise sounds very similar to that Tom Green film “Roadtrip” from ten years back, as well as a few sit-com episodes, but by no means does that mean it can’t be hilarious. I definitely want to read this soon so expect a review in the coming week.

no review

9) The Gunslinger by John Hlavin – When a Texas Ranger is horrifically tortured and killed, his sharp-shooter older brother, Sam Lee Hensley, plots revenge against the mysterious, sadistic leader of a notorious drug cartel.

Thoughts: I actually started reading this once but it was a little slow and very dark so I put it down, promising to get to it later. It felt very “The Low Dweller,” and as those who read my review of that know, I wasn’t a big fan of that script. I would still like to get to this though, now that I’ve seen it made the Top 10. Hope it’s good.

no review

10-tie) By Way Of Helena by Matt Cook – Set in the south at the turn of the century, Texas Ranger David Kingston and his Mexican bride are sent down to the mysterious town of Helena to investigate the multiple Mexican bodies washing up in the river. What they discover is an idyllic-like town where everything is not as it seems.

Thoughts: This is another one of those scripts that sounds, from its description like it could be incredibly boring or really cool. “Turn of the century” never inspires confidence in my “have to read” meter, but I love the idea of towns that have secrets. One of my favorite movies of all time is “The Sweet Hereafter” which is all about a town’s secrets. So if this is anything like that, I’m totally in.

no review.

10-tie) The Days Before by Chad St. John – A man from the future keeps hopping one successive day into the past, desperate to stop a vicious race of time-traveling aliens from wiping out humanity.

Thoughts: This is the only script I’ve read in the top 10 that I don’t agree with. My complaint isn’t in the script so much (which is fast paced and well-written) as it is the premise, which I never found myself buying. I can’t pinpoint anything specific about it, but this idea of this guy continually jumping one day back to stop aliens from invading felt…off. I kept thinking, “Why couldn’t they hop 100 days back, coming to the world’s leaders with photographic and video evidence they took from these previous attacks to prove that the aliens were coming, which would allow them to really be prepared for these things? I’m sure St. John would argue that I’m looking way too much into it for what should be simply a fun ride. And you know what? He’s probably right. I have about ten people I trust who all love this script. So I think I’m the odd man out here.

no review

11) DOC AND HOWIE WHACK A GRANNY by Steve Leff
Two men, Doc and Howie, inadvertently kill an elderly woman when they neglect to help her carry groceries up stairs. The incident puts them in position to get closer to the woman’s attractive granddaughters, and they struggle with deciding whether to tell the women the truth about the circumstances under which they met.

Thoughts: Well, it’s not exactly Shakespeare, but any comedy where the main hook is that someone dies is usually pretty good (Hello, Weekend at Bernies???). Haven’t read this but it will be on my immediate “To Read” list.

12 – tie) PAWN SACRIFICE by Steve Knight
The life story of chess legend Bobby Fischer leading up to his historic world
championship match against Boris Spassky.

Thoughts: Um, the greatest Bobby Fischer movie has already been made! The Search For Bobby Fischer! As you know, I’m no fan of the Biopic, but if you’re going to pick a figure’s life to detail, this odd chess genius turned recluse is a great place to start. Will likely read this soon.

12 – tie) WHEN CORRUPTION WAS KING by Frank Baldwin
A scrappy lawyer from Chicago’s South Side rises to be a trusted attorney for the
Outfit – the mob that controls the city through an elaborate web of bribery, voter rigging and violence – until he turns state’s witness and brings the whole corrupt
system to its knees.

Thoughts: Doesn’t really sound like my thing. But these types of scripts always seem to do well with the Black List voters. Probably won’t be reviewing this.

13) TOY’S HOUSE by Chris Galletta
When fourteen year old Joe Toy and his buddies tire of their parents overbearing ways,they decide to build their own house in the woods, away from the restraints of the lives they have come to know.

Thoughts: Wish they listed the genres with these. This can either be a dark indie tale a la Where The Wild Things Are or a family friendly film produced by Nickelodeon. Either way, I have to admit the premise sounds intriguing. I’d like to read this one.

14) MIXTAPE by Stacey Menear
A thirteen year old outcast finds a mixtape that belonged to the deceased parents she
never knew, accidentally destroys it, and uses the song list to go on a journey to find all the music in an attempt to get to know her parents. (edit: Word is this script was never even submitted to anyone. It somehow got out and spread out purely on word-of mouth. Might have been even higher had it had an official release).

Thoughts: Hmm, a tweener version of Elizabethtown? That doesn’t inspire confidence. There’s a lot of sentimentality in this logline, and that can either lead to something great, if Menear’s got the chops, or something really really cheesy and saccharine. Kind of interested in this one.

15 – tie) BOOK SMART by Emily Halpern and Sarah Haskins
Two overachieving high school seniors realize the only thing they haven’t accomplished is having boyfriends, and each resolves to find one by prom.

Thoughts: I like the title. And I like that it comes at the high school genre from a slightly different angle (even if it isn’t wholly original). I feel like the teen high school movie has kinda died and I’d like to see it revived. Is this the one? Might take a look.

15 – tie) THE ISOLATE THIEF by Kevin Leffler
In the dead of winter in the middle of the U.S. Civil War, a young man tries to hide
the gold he stole from rogue soldiers who have taken over his remote house.

Thoughts: Not enough information here to really form an opinion. But it sounds like something a bearded Viggo Mortenson might be in. This could definitely work if done right. Might give this a read.

15 – tie) MOTOR CITY by Chad St. John
A small time hood is framed and sent to prison, only to exact revenge years later.

Thoughts: “The Days Before” writer, St. John, gets his second script on the list. Makes sense since good scripts inspire readers to seek more from that writer. This is another place where it would be helpful to get a genre. Is this more action? More drama? The one thing that makes me intrigued about the script is that it’s set in Detroit. That dying city is ripe for some sort of Hollywood treatment.

15 – tie) THEY FALL BY NIGHT by Zach Baylin
A burned out detective investigates the kidnapping of a socialite couple’s child.

Thoughts: Baylin has, up until this point, only worked in the art department on such films as Winter Passing and Dave Chapelle’s Block Party. Looks like he was secretly writing scripts during that time. The “burned out” detective angle contrasts nicely against the upscale family. Could be interesting. Would like a little more info on this one.

16 – tie) CELESTE & JESSE FOREVER by Rashida Jones and Will McCormack
A divorcing couple tries to maintain their friendship while they both pursue other
people.

Thoughts: Rashida Jones is like this industry mystery. Everybody loves her, yet she hasn’t broken out despite a good dozen opportunities. It’s not that we don’t like her. She’s one of those people who it’s impossible to dislike. Here, she’s written a script with another actor, Will McCormack. The two of them actually have another optioned property called “Frenemy Of The State,” about a heiress who works undercover for the CIA.

16 – tie) CONVICTION by Jonathan Herman
After serving five years in prison after a botched heist, a mastermind bank robber is
forced by a tenacious FBI agent to entrap his former protege who has embarked on a
multi-million-dollar bank-robbing spree.

Thoughts: This was a weird script. Despite my attempts, I could never quite figure out the tone. It sorta swerved all over the place for me, starting out as one film, and then becoming another. I didn’t think a lot of the situations felt realistic. For me, Herman’s other script, “Rites Of Men,” was vastly superior. Really liked that one. Either way, I’m happy to see Herman on the list.

Review.

16 – tie) NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH by Jared Stern
A suburban ‘neighborhood watch’ group, actually a front for dads to get some male
bonding time away from the family, uncovers a plot bent on destroying the world.

Thoughts: This sounds a little like a feature-length treatment of a beer commercial. The “plot bent on destroying the world” angle suggests something very broad. Maybe this could be the next “Old School?” Interestingly, Stern was a writer on the animated film “Bolt.” He has another screenplay sale titled, “Self-Guided,” about a guy who travels back in time to his high school days where he offers up tips to his younger self disguised as a guidance counselor.

17 – tie) BEST ACTRESS by Michael Zam and Jaffe Cohen
The story of the infamous career-long battle between screen legends Joan Crawford and Bette Davis, focusing on the on-set experience of the only film they ever made together WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE.”

Thoughts: This script introduced me to a rivalry I never knew about but I’m glad I do now. It also sent me searching for Whatever Happened To Baby Jane, which turned out to be a really good film. The back stage antics these two contributed to during the production are a little muted compared to the types of things we hear about in today’s media, but it’s a fun little script nonetheless.

Review.

17 – tie) BETTY’S READY by Jaylynn Bailey
After she discovers that her boyfriend is gay, a high schooler, determined to lose her
virginity before she goes to college, pursues several possible ‘candidates’ before she
finds love with her geeky neighbor, who has always loved her.

Thoughts: Not going to lie. This sounds like something we’ve seen a lot of before. So I’m hoping the execution is the star here. Jaylynn formally worked as a make-up artist.

17 – tie) THE SITTER by Brian Gatewood and Alessandro Tanaka
A suspended college student, living at home with his single mom, is talked into babysitting the three, young kids next door.

Thoughts: This was a funny script. Period. Okay not period. I’m going to keep on going. Basically, this is what “The Adventures In Babysitting” should’ve been. It’s edgier, it’s funnier, it’s more creative. The strange adopted Ecuadorian child is worth the price of admission alone. The writers have two other projects set up, one at Sony called “Hairstyles Of The Damned,” and another at Universal called “The Overachievers,” about a group of high schoolers navigating through tests and prep courses on their way to graduation.

Review.

17 – tie) WENCESLAS SQUARE by Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely
Based on the Arthur Phillips short story. Two spies fall in love while participating in separate Cold War missions in Prague during the 1980s.

Thoughts: Unfortunately, I’m not a real big fan of the two spies falling in love thing, so I probably won’t be reading this. But I gotta give Markus and McFeely props. These two have been blowing up, nabbing huge writing assignments like “The Chronicles Of Narnia: Voyage of The Dawn Treader” and “Captain America.” Obviously, they have some talent.

17 – tie) Z FOR ZACHARIAH by Nissar Modi
A sixteen-year-old girl named Ann Burden survives a nuclear war in a small American
town.

Thoughts: Jericho prequel? Or sequel? Not much info here but I love the giant implications of a nuclear war contrasted with the tiny life of a 16 year old girl. Could be interesting. Would like to read this. Nissar actually had a very brief acting career 20 years ago, appearing in The Return Of Sherlock Holmes TV series. (edit: This is actually based on a YA SF novel from the early 1970s by Robert C O’Brien, the author of MRS. BRISBY AND THE RATS OF NIMH. It’s essentially a two-character piece with an isolated girl vs. a creepy fellow survivor. It won an Edgar Award and was previously produced by the BBC as a made-for-TV movie.

18 – tie) BALLS OUT by The Robotard 8000 (Tim Talbott and Malcolm Spellman)
When insurance salesman Jim Simmers has a near death experience, he decides that
nothing matters except getting a promotion, a new car, and the hot girl from work.
Jim’s new attitude alienates his friends and co-workers, and he must figure out how to
live his new life without losing his old one.

Thoughts: Yes, the rumors were true. Yes, the most controversial script all year indeed made The Black List. Talbott and Spellman, masters of marketing, created a viral craze in the screenwriting community early this year with their early-90s style website promoting their masterpiece, along with numerous quotes from industry execs who had read and survived the script, a sort of parody of screenwriting and story conventions. The script was infamously ripped apart by Mystery Man On Film. As for what I thought of it, well, to be honest, I’ve only ever skimmed through it. But I admit to laughing a lot. Maybe one of these days I’ll review it on the site. If anything, the script is a good example of what a creative mind can come up with to promote oneself. These two thought outside the box and it paid off. They may get a little nasty if you try and cross their path, but overall, I have nothing but admiration for these guys. You know you’ve made it when you start typing your name into google search and it finishes it for you!

You can download the script here.

18 – tie) BURIED by Chris Sparling
A civilian contractor in Iraq is kidnapped and awakens to find himself buried in a
coffin in the desert.

Thoughts: A little disappointed this script didn’t fare higher but it’s such a unique script that I can see how it might not have been everyone’s thing. To me, this is one of the most intense readings I’ve ever had and one of my favorite scripts of the year. The use of ticking time bombs (which I go into in my review) is second to none, and is the perfect lesson on how to add more immediacy and tension to your script. Check this out if you haven’t already.

Review here. (with script link)

Interview with the writer, Chris Sparling, here.

18 – tie) THE DIVERSIFICATION OF NOAH MILLER by Adam Cole-Kelly and Sam Pitman
A liberal New Yorker realizes he isn’t as open-minded as he thinks he is and sets out
to make a black friend.

Thoughts: Ahhh, the old white guy making the black friend bit. A bit I am admittedly a sucker for (the Seinfeld episode with George looking for an African American BF is classic). Am interested to know if this is a straight comedy or a dark comedy. Hoping it’s more dark. These two also have a project I’ve heard about with Eddie Murphy producing called “The Misadventures Of Fluffy,” which is either about a dog on the run or an unfortunate porno production assistant. I want to read this. Please send.

18 – tie) THE GIRL WITH THE RED RIDING HOOD by David Leslie Johnson
A Gothic imagining of the classic fairy tale in which a young woman is confronted by a werewolf, this time with a teenage love triangle at its center.

Thoughts: Hmm, I like the Gothic angle. Sounds a little bit like that video game “Alice” that they were trying to turn into a movie (and maybe even did, I’ve forgotten). But this sounds like it may be trying to grab some of that Twilight glitter, with the teenage love triangle sounding very similar to the super-franchise. However, this is a follow-up to Johnson’s successful spec turned movie, Orphan, which I thought was pretty good. What a great cast, especially that freaky ass semi-russian girl, who nailed it. So I may give this a read.

18 – tie) MY MOTHER’S CURSE by Dan Fogelman
The young inventor of a new organic cleaning product invites his mother on a cross-country road trip as he tries to sell his product to marketing outlets. His ulterior motive is to reunite her with a man she loved when she was young, and her motive is to help him overcome his ‘curse’ of non-commitment in relationships, for which she blames herself.

Thoughts: You know, this sounds pretty good if done right. I know there’s an aversion to this indie “on the road” type movie (I will murder myself before I ever watch Transamerica for example) but what I like here is that the two key players have secret motives to help the other. I can already see that leading to some funny situations. So I’d like to read this. And hey, if there’s any writer qualified to write about a road trip, it’s Fogelman, the writer of 2006’s Pixar film, “Cars.” He also has the geriatric version of The Hangover set up at CBS films titled, “Las Vegas.”

18 – tie) RESTLESS by Jason Lew
A tale of young love between a teenage boy and girl who share a preoccupation with
mortality.

Thoughts: Don’t worry. Jason Lew is not to be confused with Jason Mewes. This is actually the project that Gus Van Sant plans to direct for Imagine Entertainment. Yes, Imagine. That should be a hell of an interesting combination. Lew is brand new on the scene and was formally an actor with a couple of small parts. I’m guessing this will have lots of grainy shots and the end of plot as we know it.

18 – tie) STREETS ON FIRE by Justin Britt-Gibson
Two cops, reluctantly partnered, try to bring down a drug syndicate while navigating
the streets of Chicago.

Thoughts: This gets the most generic synopsis award, and that’s too bad, because on a list this big, you gotta stand out. I’d love it if Britt-Gibson or his reps could send me a more detailed description of this. I’ll put it up immediately. Britt-Gibson has one other screenplay he optioned titled “The 7th Son” about a group of strangers who come together after an assassination of the U.S. president and make an unusual discovery about themselves.

18 – tie) TAKE THIS WALTZ by Sarah Polley
A young woman struggles with her infidelities and the budding realization that she may be addicted to the honeymoon period of her relationships.

Thoughts: Hmm, very interesting. Polley’s “Away From Her” was one of the better directing efforts I saw all of last year. I wasn’t a fan of the script though, as it violated the rule horse I continue to beat on this site – a story that starts out one way, then turns into something completely different. It signified to me a writer that didn’t understand how to craft an entire story. But I like Sarah Polley and with a little more experience in the Final Draft department, her follow-up should be better. This is another one of those scripts that could either be a drama, a dark comedy, or a rom-com. But it’s Sarah Polley, so I’m guessing drama.

18 – tie) THE TRADE by Dave Mandel
The true story of two New York Yankees pitchers who caused a national scandal when they swapped wives in the early 70s.

Thoughts: Uhhhh, what??? This really happened?? And not in a Fox “Wife Swap” kind of way? Okay, I have to read this. But I’m really hoping there’s some realism behind it and it’s not some shit studio film starring Martin Lawrence and Jim Belushi as the “wacky” pitchers. And I really hope Dave Mandel is not related to Howie Mandel. — OH SHIT! Fuck it all. I just realized this was the writer of Eurotrip (one of the biggest spec sales ever). This is going straight to my most anticipated list.

18 – tie) WHATEVER GETS YOU THROUGH THE NIGHT by Morgan Foehl
After ten years on the run from the mob, the son of a mob lawyer must choose between
prison and helping the man who killed his mother.

Thoughts: Love the title here. The genre on this one is tough to figure out because while it sounds deep and dark, Foehl was previously an editor on two of Adam Sandler’s films, Click and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. So could this be a comedy? Would like to know more please.

19 – tie) BAYTOWN DISCO by Barry Battles and Griffin Hood
Three redneck brothers get in over their heads when they agree to help a woman kidnap her son back from his seemingly evil father.

Thoughts: Another logline that’s hard to figure out. These two are new on the scene, with most of their work coming as actors. If this is a straight-up comedy, I might be interested in reading it.

19 – tie) THE GUYS GIRL by Nick Confalone and Neal Dusedau
Three male best friends realize they’re each in love with their mutual female best
friend when she gets engaged.

Thoughts: Ugh, had a similar idea to this. Though mine’s more “The Big Chill.” This sounds like an out and out comedy. These two are brand new on the scene. Dusedau worked on both “Munich” and “The Happening” as an assistant.

19 – tie) JIMI by Max Borenstein
The life story of rock legend Jimi Hendrix.

Thoughts: Ahhhhhh! Biopic alert! Biopic alert! But I guess if you’re going to make a biopic, it might as well be about Jimi Hendrix, right? Although Borenstein seems to have been writing for awhile, his success has come more recently. He has a project in development at Kevin Spacey’s Triggerstreet Productions called “Rigged,” a truth life story about a kid who became a bajillionaire changing the oil trade business.

19 – tie) LOVESTRUCK by Annabel Oakes
Cynical best friends Amelia and Ruth love nothing more than to ridicule romance. When
they take it one step too far at their friend’s wedding, they are sentenced to a fate
worse than death – becoming heroines in their own romantic comedy.

Thoughts: Not sure how I feel about this one. Parodying romantic comedies is a tricky proposition. The conventions are so dated that I don’t know if it’s funny to make fun of them anymore. But this seems geared towards women, so I’ll bow out of the commentary. Oakes has one foreign film to her credit titled Morenita el Escanadalo about a man desperate to save his family from death threats by a notorious drug dealer.

19 – tie) RITES OF MEN by Jonathan Herman
When a working class dad’s only son is murdered, he sets out to discover who is
responsible.

Thoughts: Ahhhh-ha! So here’s Rites of Men! Flip this and Conviction around and I’ll be happy. “Men” is very “Taken” in nature, with more of a detective angle to it. There are lots of twists and turns and the script never quite goes the way you think it will. Happy to see this on the list.

Review.

19 – tie) SHIMMER LAKE by Oren Uziel
As a small-town bank-theft job slowly unravels, it proves to involve virtually
everyone, from an ex-meth-lab runner to a crooked prosecutor and his vengeful cop
brother.

Thoughts: Yes! Another great script! This one won the Austin Film Festival Screenwriting Competition and I immediately knew why after I finished it. What the synopsis doesn’t tell you is that the script is actually told backwards. Now usually, that’s a gimmick, but here, Uziel really makes it work. Combine that with his unique voice and gift for off-beat comedy, and this is a writer I see carving out a huge career for himself. Get on the Uziel train while you can.

Review.

19 – tie) SMILE, RELAX, ATTACK by Eli Attie
A young, ambitious political consultant finds himself in over his head when his first big client – an incumbent Democratic Virginia Senator – becomes the subject of national scrutiny by both Parties.

Thoughts: Uhhh, can someone say in the running for best title of the list? We had to get some more political action going so I guess this is filling the need. Still, how are you going to beat “Farragut North?” Well, Attie’s no slouch, having written one of the bigger specs of the last few years, The 28th Amendment, which will star Denzel Washington. In it, the new President of the United States discovers a secret cabal that runs the government and wants him dead.

20 – tie) BOBBY MARTINEZ by Ric Roman Waugh
A coming-of-age biopic about the titular Mexican-American surfer. Martinez rose out of the gang-ridden streets of Southern California to become a hero to his community when he swept every major amateur surfing tournament in his first year of competition and won the ASP Rookie of the Year honors in his first pro season.

Thoughts: Not liking the biopic angle, but I have to admit, this logline has some great irony in it. A south-central surfer? Count me in. Finally, a biopic I’m excited about. Interesting thing about Waugh. He used to be a stuntman. Now he’s one of the hottest writers in town, with a half a dozen scripts in development.

20 – tie) CORSICA 72 by Neil Purvis and Robert Wade
On the island of Corsica in 1972, childhood best friends Marco and Sauveur find their
lives veering in opposite directions – the first towards the Mafia, the second toward
a simpler life with his beloved, Lucia. When the Corsican mob kills Sauveur’s brother,
they ignite a tit-for-tat blood feud that inevitably leads toward a final showdown.

Thoughts: Wasn’t a huge fan of this script (which finished number 2 on this year’s Brit List) but a lot of other people seem to be, so I’m not going to rain on the parade. I think people see some of The Godfather in it, and no doubt, it brings back memories of those movies. So if you love those films, I have a feeling you’ll like this.

Review.

20 – tie) A FISTFUL OF QUARTERS: THE LEGEND OF NOLAN BUSHNELL by Brian Hecker and Craig Sherman
The rise of Nolan Bushnell, father of the videogame industry, who started Atari in the
70s.

Thoughts: Biopic fever. Unfortunately, I don’t have a fever for the flavor. If Bushnell had a crazy life, then I say film away. But if this is just following a geeky dude through his life for two hours, I’ll stick with my Playstation 3. This team is relatively new. Hecker has one produced credit to his name, the 2008 indie “Bart Got A Room.” Sherman wrote an indie of his own, “New Suit.”

20 – tie) GOOD LOOKING by Chris McCoy
In a future where dating services perfectly match soulmates, a man rejects the person
chosen for him.

Thoughts: Tough to get a feel on this one. Feels like we’re missing some key information. Anyone want to write in and give me some more details?

20 – tie) JIMMY SIX by Daniel Casey
The screw-up son of a murdered mobster goes with a hitman to exact revenge on the
informer who sent his father to his death.

Thoughts: I like the “screw-up son” angle here. Gives this a little bit of freshness because if not for that, it would sound pretty generic. No info on Daniel Casey out there. He’s a mystery man.

20 – tie) LIARS (A-E) by Emma Forrest
A twenty-nine year old woman on the way to President Obama’s inauguration stops to
retrieve lost items from her ex-boyfriend in the hope of getting over her most recent
heartache.

Thoughts: Ah yes, the recently reviewed Liars (A to E). Although not reviewed by me. Novelist Forrest is notoriously known for her brief relationship with Colin Farrel, who is said to be the inspiration behind the script. Some people don’t like the hip-as-thou semi-Juno lingo, but it’s hard to argue against Forrest being a good writer.

Review.

20 – tie) THE STORM by Richard Taylor and Bryan Bagby
A bounty hunter and his prey must unite to take on an evil sheriff and his posse in a lawless Wyoming town.

Thoughts: This logline I really like. First, you got the storm. Rainy, messy, chaotic. Ripe for conflict. Then, it’s always fun to see the hero and the villain have to reluctantly team up together. Throw the cherry on top of an evil sheriff? Hello! A fucking script sundae! — This looks like an English duo as the company that bought the script is set up in the U.K. But if it’s English, why didn’t it make The Brit List?

21 – tie) 2 GUNS by Blake Masters
Based on the comic book of the same name by Stephen Grant. A DEA agent and an undercover naval intelligence officer unwittingly investigate each other while stealing mob money.

Thoughts: First of all, great name. Blake Masters. I’d kill to have that name. You know what it sounds like actually? It sounds like a professional golfer name. You know, Blake should consider taking up golfing. I hear there’s an opening available. Anyway, Universal bought this one. Sounds like something Colin Farrel and Ethan Hawke would team up and do. I’m not sure what that observation implies. To be honest, this isn’t my thing. But Roger would probably love it. Roger? Where are you?

21 – tie) ARTHUR by Peter Baynham
Based on the 1981 film of the same name. A spoiled rich twenty-something must decide
between true love and the vast fortune he’ll inherit if he marries a society woman whom
he doesn’t love.

Thoughts: Oh how I miss you Dudley Moore, you bottle-gourging son of a gun. Peter Baynham came up with the story for Bruno. He also did some acting before he wrote and was an extra on the film, Shaun Of The Dead.

21 – tie) CUT BANK by Roberto Patino
A small town thriller set in Cut Bank, Montana.

Thoughts: I couldn’t have come up with a less descriptive synopsis if I wrote, “A man jumps.” I’m guessing this isn’t Patino’s fault. Anyway, Patino is a true newcomer to the craft. He worke on a documentary and a short, both in the camera department.

21 – tie) DEAD LOSS by Josh Baizer and Marshall Johnson
A crab fishing boat crew rescues a castaway adrift in a life raft with mysterious cargo that soon both captivates and divides them.

Thoughts: Uh, can somebody say fucking robbed!!?? This script was awesome. It should’ve been way higher. Not only is it a unique contained thriller in that it takes place in one of the most dangerous professions on earth, but the characters are well-drawn, the twists and turns keep coming, and it’s got a great central conflict between the two heroes (the brothers). This is a movie that needs to get made, like, yesterday man. Hurry up already. First major mistake of the Black List.

Review.

21 – tie) THE GHOST AND THE WOLF by Rylend Grant and Dikran Ornekian
An ex-cop and his old partner must reunite, burying years of distrust, to take on the
vicious Russian mobsters who altered their lives profoundly in the 90s… destroying one
and propelling the other to Captain.

Thoughts: Hating the Russian angle. Feels too played out. But I love the idea of two older cops who lost a friendship having to re-team. As always, you’re looking to build stories with inherent conflict in them, and this obviously has it. Dikran Ornekian was an assistant to Stephen Sommers on both the last Mummy movie he did and G.I. Joe. Both writers are relatively new to the game.

21 – tie) I HATE YOU DAD by David Caspe
A father moves in with his son on the eve of his son’s wedding and promptly begins feuding with the bride-to-be.

Thoughts: At first glance I thought the title was simply, “I Hate You,” which I’d already decided was the greatest title ever. This sounds like it needs something extra to explain why the dad is arguing with the bride. Right now you just scratch your head and go, “Why would he argue with her?” Could be good though.

21 – tie) IF I STAY by Shauna Cross
Based on the novel of the same name by Gayle Forman. A teenage girl leaves her body after a tragic car crash and needs to decide whether to return to her life or not.

Thoughts: Summit, the new mega-studio, is producing this one. Feels like The Lovely Bones to me. You might recognize Shauna Cross’ name as she’s the writer of the beloved screenplay, “Whip It,” which if I remember correctly did very well on last year’s list. The movie was kind of a bust, but I don’t know a single woman who read Whip It and didn’t love it.

21 – tie) I HOPE WE CAN STILL BE FRIENDS by John Whittington
A couple breaks up after 5 years together but vow to remain friends after the fact, which proves much harder to do than they imagined.

Thoughts: This is the kind of movie that can be really good or really average. I love the premise, but because its staying power is minimal (they break up in the first 5 pages – now what?), the writer will have to come up with plenty of sub-plot nuggets to keep us involved. I wish I could tell you more about Whittington but alas, I know not a thing.

21 – tie) THE KING’S SPEECH by David Seidler
George VI, also known as Bertie, reluctantly takes the throne of England when his brother, Edward, abdicates in 1936. The unprepared king turns to a radical speech therapist, Lionel Logue, to help overcome his nervous stutter and the two forge a friendship.

Thoughts: Hmm, I kind of like this. The fact that a King is terrible at the one thing a King cannot be terrible at is intriguing. But the forming of the friendship with the speech therapist…I don’t know. Not jumping for joy there. But good for Seidler. He’s been in this business for awhile (he wrote “Tucker: The Man and His Dream,” a dozen years ago). So it’s nice to see him do well.

21 – tie) THE LOW SELF ESTEEM OF LIZZIE GILLESPIE by Mindy Kaling and Brent Forrester
A single girl in Manhattan dates the hottest guy in the world but must overcome her insecurities when she hears him deny they are dating.

Thoughts: Mindy Kaling you’ll know as the Indian actress on The Office. Brent Forrester is another writer on the office. Things seem to be going well for the Office writers these days as they’re all either writing Ghostbusters or Star Wars films or anything they want. The premise here doesn’t sound very deep but this is a script that has come on strong with heavy word-of-mouth this last month. I’ll probably check it out.

21 – tie) THE BLIND RAGE OF PEACOAT MILLER by Adam Penn
A college student home for the holidays discovers that an internet porn film turns its
viewer into homicidal maniacs. As the epidemic spreads, he has to save his longtime
crush while struggling to control his own urges.

Thoughts: Having a problem making the connection between watching porn and becoming a killer, but this seems like one of those out-there premises where you either go with it or you don’t. Great title. Great writing name. We have another editor here (they say editors are good writers because they know what needs to be to cut out before they even begin). Penn worked as an editor on the HBO show, Oz, as well as the guilty pleasure Nip/Tuck.

21 – tie) CON MEN by Eric Lane
Greg Weinstock and Kevin Russell, two drug reps from Burlington Labs with nothing in common aside from a shared gift of moving product, are dispatched to a convention to hook the biggest sale of their lives.

Thoughts: Sounds like another buddy indie comedy. Hoping there’s a little more pop to it than that.

21 – tie) JOSH by Gary Ross
The lives of a single father and his teenaged son are dramatically changed when the boy’s mother returns and wants to be part of her son’s life.

Thoughts: I think they mean “estranged mother?” Sounds very dramatic. Maybe it’s because the word “dramatically” is in there. Anyway, Gary Ross is a heavyweight. He’s written Dave, Pleasantville, Sea-Biscuit, and Spider-Man 4. And after all that, he found time to write a little indie film that made the Black List. Nice.

21 – tie) MY SISTER IS MARRYING A DOUCHEBAG by Wendy Molyneux and Lizzie Molyneux
A young woman, thinking that her sister’s new fiance is a douchebag, sets out to sabotage their wedding.

Thoughts: When the Molyneux sisters write a script, watch out. Not that I know them. But you just better. The excessive offensive title approach is getting on peoples’ nerves, which actually makes me have *more* confidence in this script, since it’s survived that initial prejudice. The sister tag team has worked on some small-time TV stuff, but other than that, this is their first breakthrough.

21 – tie) NO BLOOD, NO GUTS, NO GLORY by Chase Palmer
A spy and twenty Union soldiers in disguise board a train in Georgia to execute a scheme that could bring a quick end to the U.S. Civil War.

Thoughts: This sounds good. It feels relevant, with hints of terrorism oozing from its premise. By Americans no less! Up to this point, Palmer’s only written and directed short films, but he’s tabbed to helm a couple of mid-level films, so he’s definitely moving his way up.

21 – tie) NORM THE MOVIE by Sam Esmail
“A buddy comedy in which a guy is transported into a movie… or so he thinks.”

Thoughts: Let me tell you a little bit about Sam Esmail. This guy’s nuts! He writes weird ass shit and he’s really good at it, a sort of Charlie Kaufman in training. His last script, “Sequels, Remakes, and Adaptations,” made it onto last years’ list and was quite good. This sounds like an unofficial sequel to that script.

21 – tie) RENKO VEGA & THE JENNIFER NINE by John Raffo
Renko Vega, once a hero and now a rogue thief wandering the galaxy with his hyperintelligent spaceship the Jennifer 9, is forced to become a hero once again when the young daughter of the President of Earth is kidnapped.”

Thoughts: Han Solo type hero? Crazy imaginative sci-fi world? Uh, yeah, count me in.

You can check out the review, the script, and an interview with John here.

21 – tie) SMASH AND GRAB by Marc Wolff
When his wife is kidnapped, a reformed thief has to team up with his hapless ex-partner
to save her, while dodging the LAPD, the FBI, and various members of the Los Angeles underworld.

Thoughts: Okay, this damn well better be in the execution, because there isn’t an original beat in that logline. Unless of course it’s a Jason Statham movie. Then it’s okay. Solid title.

21 – tie) THE TRUE MEMOIRS OF AN INTERNATIONAL ASSASSIN by Jeff Morris
Joe, an insecure writer with a boring desk job, finally manages to sell his assassin novel, The Memoirs of an International Assassin to the one publisher that will buy it. To his horror the publisher retitles it The True Memoirs of an International Assassin and markets the book as non-fiction — making it seem as if Joe is the assassin himself. He soon finds himself in the crosshairs of the CIA, various drug lords, the media, and a beautiful investigative journalist while on a vacation in Belize.

Thoughts: Hip-hip hell yeah. Scriptshadow friend Jeff Morris makes the Black List. I could tell you more about Jeff and the script but why don’t you just go to the review and interview to find out yourself.

Review here.
Interview here.

21 – tie) THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY by Mark Bomback
Based on the comic book written by Gerard Way. After being raised by a brilliant scientist and a hyper-intelligent chimp, six super-powered former ‘child superheroes’ reunite to stop one of their own from leading a violin symphony that will destroy the world.

Thoughts: Well, the premise certainly has panache. Sounds very “Lava Boy and Shark Girl,” but there could be more going on here. Bomback’s an established force in the industry. He wrote Deception, Race To Witch Mountain, and Die Hard: Live Free Or Die Hard.

22 – tie) 30 MINUTES OR LESS by Matthew Sullivan and Michael Diliberti
A comedy about a pizza delivery guy on an unlikely caper.

Thoughts: Not gonna lie. Premise feels a little dated, unless maybe it’s set in the 80s? These two have been nabbed to do the update on Brewster’s Millions (speaking of high-concept comedies). Very well may have gotten that job off this spec?

22 – tie) ALLIES WITH BENEFITS by Elizabeth Wright Shapiro
The female President of The United States falls for her old college fling, the now Prime Minister of England.

Thoughts: I am betting six billion dollars that this will star Hugh Grant. This is Shapiro’s first sale.

22 – tie) COMIC CON by Matthew Sullivan and Michael Diliberti
To save their beloved neighborhood comic shop, a justice league of comic geeks must plan and execute a daring heist at Comic-Con.

Thoughts: They’re BAAAAAACK. After like 2 seconds. A movie about Comic-Con absolutely needs to be done, even if it will be a little incestuous. You just have to make sure it doesn’t turn into Fanboys.

22 – tie) CROOK FACTORY by Nicholas Meyer
Based on the novel by Dan Simmons and true events. An FBI agent is ordered to baby-sit Ernest Hemingway as he goes about running a motley spy ring in WWII Cuba.

Thoughts: I guess if this is based on true events, it’s okay. I don’t know what it is about Hemmingway, but whenever I see his name in a premise, I want to read it. Meyer is a true workhorse, having written a ton of films. Some of those include the recent film, Elegy, as well as older films Sommersby, The Human Stain, and Star Trek VI.

22 – tie) THE CURSE OF MEDUSA by J Lee and Tom Welch
An origin story of Medusa the Gorgon.

Thoughts: Can’t say that’s not an interesting angle.

22 – tie) DUE DATE by Alan R. Cohen and Alan Freedland
An uptight father-to-be is forced to travel across the country with an idiotic stoner in order to close a major business deal and make it home in time for the birth of his first child.

Thoughts: This is going to star Robert Downey Jr. and Zach Galianfinakgianis and be directed by Todd Phillips. In other words, this is going to be a mega-hit. Read it awhile back. It has some strong moments, moreso in the second half, and I love the potential chemistry between these two actors, but I wasn’t a big fan of the spec version of this script. Thought it was a little sloppy

Review here.

22 – tie) THE HAND JOB by Maggie Carey
A coming-of-age comedy about a teenage girl who gives her first hand job (among other
life experiences).

Thoughts: lol. I really don’t know how to respond to this one. Maggie Carey has learned her craft through writing and directing her own shorts, which she has a bunch of. The other script she sold, about a young woman’s decision to turn things around by hiring a “life coach” is thrown for a loop when the person she hires turns out to be a real mess, sounds more interesting.

22 – tie) HANNA by David Farr
A fourteen year old girl is raised by her father to be a cold hearted killing machine.

Thoughts: Littler Nikita? Hanna is about a badass bitch who goes looking for her father when they get split up. My big issue with this script is the saggy middle, though I anticipate that’s been cleaned up in rewrites. Let’s hope, cause this is one of those scripts (because of the action) that’s going to work better on the screen than on the page. Before he wrote Hanna, Farr worked on the show “MI-5.” This is his first sale.

Review here.

22 – tie) THE HUNGRY RABBIT JUMPS by Robert Tannen
A man becomes entangled in a secret society that forces him to murder.

Thoughts: I believe this is the script that has the monetarily challenged Nicholas Cage attached? Cage shouldn’t be jumping over hungry rabbits. He should be keeping his wallet closed when the auctioneer says, “Dinosaur bones, 250 thousand dollars!” Before this, Tannen wrote the 2006 indie film, “Even Money.”

22 – tie) JAWS OF LIFE by Michael Goldbach
A seventeen year old boy falls in love with a woman old enough to be his mother and begins to question the meaning of love and relationships while his parents go through a divorce.

Thoughts: Phew, I was wondering when the inappropriate relationship script was going to show up. Thank goodness. All jokes aside, I kinda like these films. The train-wreck aspect to the relationship always compels me to keep watching. Goldbach also has a produced credit on a small indie film called “Child Star.”

22 – tie) JITTERS by Marc Haimes
A dysfunctional, recession-struck family moves into a new neighborhood and is terrorized by superbugs.

Thoughts: Described as having a “Gremlins vibe.” I’m thinking how Roger is pouring through trillions of terrabytes of internet information right now to find this script. Oh how I hope you find it Roger. Haimes has a few projects in development and associate produced Men In Black II.

22 – tie) THE LAST STAND by Andrew Knauer
A drug cartel king escapes his trial in a 200mph Gumpert Apollo, and the only thing in between him and Mexican freedom is a small town cop in a bordertown.

Thoughts: There’s some coolness here. I’d like to know more about this town and this cop though, since that seems to be where the meat of the screenplay takes place. This is Knauer’s first sale.

23 – tie) MEDIEVAL by Alex Litvak and Michael Finch
An unlikely group of imprisoned warriors are forced on a suicide mission to steal the King’s crown in order to gain their freedom. They soon realize they’ve been set up to take the fall for the assassination of the King.

Thoughts: I waffled on this one. Not great but not terrible. Just sorta good enough. Yet, if I were a studio, it would be one of the first movies I put on my slate. It’s one of those ideas where you can imagine the trailer in your head. And even on your dullest days, it’s still fucking awesome. This script also sold for a lot of money. I think over 600k, right?

Review here.

23 – tie) OWENS MANUAL by Greg Ferkel
A mild-mannered IT guy finds an ‘owners manual’ to his dull life but struggles to manage the realities of it when he reaches the end of the manual.

Thoughts: I’m digging this one. Sounds like an off-beat take on a traditional comedy. Will definitely check it out. This is Ferkel’s first sale.

23 – tie) SAND DOGS by Vineet Dewan and Angus Fletcher
A pair of Western Red Crescent Paramedics weather a series of intense, dangerous days
in the Gaza Strip.

Thoughts: This sounds a lot like The Hurt Locker, which I liked. As many of you know, Sand Dogs is one of this years’ five Nichols’ winners. I haven’t read it yet but I hope to find it. Vineet Dewan worked in the art department on Monsoon Wedding.

23 – tie) SEX, GREED, MONEY, MURDER & CHICKEN FRIED STEAK by Reinhard Denke
The story of oilman T. Cullen Davis, the richest man in the United States ever to be
tried (and acquitted twice) for the capital murder of his stepdaughter, marking the
end of the reign of Texas oil billionaires.

Thoughts: Okay, I take back my earlier statement. This clearly wins title of the Black List awards. Also, it sounds really interesting. Us Americans are obsessed with seeing really rich people fall. It’s sad but it’s true. Which is why I will read this.

23 – tie) THE SPECTACULAR NOW by Scott Neustadter and Mike Weber
A hard-partying high school senior’s life changes when he meets a shy, insecure girl.

Thoughts: These two might sound familiar to you as they’re the writers of the indie hit “500 Days of Summer,” which was also in my Top 25 back before it hit theaters. This one hasn’t been getting a whole lot of heat, but they set the bar really high with Summer, which makes a comparable follow-up all the much harder. I will give this a read at some point for sure.

23 – tie) SWINGLES by Zach Braff
A bachelor who is dumped by his wingman teams up with a sharp-tongued woman he can’t
stand in order to meet women.

Thoughts: This is the project Braff signed onto to rewrite AND make his official directing follow-up to Garden State. I haven’t read the script but my lovely friend Erica has, and she did a review for the site. Just note, the draft she reviews is pre-Braff, not this one.

Review here.

23 – tie) THE TREES by Tyler Hisel
Isolated and threatened, a mysterious force hidden within the trees outside the small town of Laytonsville, Maryland strikes fear in the townsfolk as Sheriff Paul Shields attempts to overcome the demons of his past while protecting those that he loves.

Thoughts: There be some fear whistling through these bones. This sounds like a cross between The Happening and The Village. The good news? It’s impossible for anyone to write anything as bad as those films. So we know this has to be better. This is Hisel’s first breakthrough.

23 – tie) THE UNDERLING by Dave Stoller and Ben Shiffrin
A man slowly comes to discover his girlfriend is literally working for the devil and
has to find a way to escape.

Thoughts: Devil’s Advocate like maybe? I hope so. We need another Devil’s Advocate. This looks to be both these writers’ first break.

23 – tie) THE VATICAN TAPES by Chris Borrelli
In a highly secured vault deep within the walls of Vatican City, the Catholic Church holds thousands of old films and video footage documenting exorcisms/supposed exorcisms and other unexplained religious phenomena they feel the world is not ready to see. This is the first tape – Case 83-G – stolen from these archives and exposed to the public by an anonymous source.

Thoughts: I love the sound of this. Will definitely be checking it out. Borrelli has been working odd jobs around Hollywood for awhile. This is his first sale.

23 – tie) WALL STREET 2: MONEY NEVER SLEEPS by Allan Loeb
Gordon Gekko, fresh from prison, re-emerges into a much harsher financial world than
the one he left.

Thoughts: Because Loeb is selling everything he writes these days, he’s been heavily debated by the writing community, with some people “getting” him, and others not. Well, for better or worse, he’s landing a lot of big money assignment work, and Wall Street was one of those. I read the script and thought it was okay, though there were some major motivation issues I had with the characters. Luckily it has an ending that saves the day and should have audiences leaving the theater with a buzz.

Review here.

23 -tie) WATER FOR ELEPHANTS by Richard LaGravanese
Jacob Jankowski is about to take his final exams in veterinary medicine at Cornell when his parents are killed in a car accident. He drops out and joins Benzini Brothers, a second-rate traveling circus trying to survive during the Depression.

Thoughts: I’ve had this book on my shelf for two years now. I once got through 3 pages on a plane trip (until a suspicious looking guy started to hang around the bathroom and I had to keep an eye on him). LaGravenese has written such movies as “P.S. I Love You,” and “Freedom Writers.”

23 – tie) THE WETTEST COUNTY by Nick Cave
Based on the book by Matt Bondurant. The story of a moonshine gang operating in the
bootlegging capital of America – Franklin County, Virginia – during Prohibition.

Thoughts: Not my genre, but I rarely meet a write who doesn’t love Nick Cave.

23 – tie) YEAR 12 by Edward Ricourt
Twelve years after an alien invasion leaves humankind decimated and brutally subjugated, a former soldier must smuggle deadly uranium in his bloodstream and, with help from a pair of rebels, fight his way to an air force base where the uranium can be extracted and used to fuel a nuclear missile for a counterstrike that will reverse the direction of the war.

Thoughts: Started reading this one but haven’t finished it yet. It’s like a hard-edged version of “V.” Like, really hard. This is Ricourt’s first sale.

Have a nice little treat for you today. As I mentioned, the Black List is only four days away now and it looks like we have a review for a script that will likely make the list. But the fun doesn’t stop there. Afterwards, Roger does an interview with the writer himself, John Raffo! I want to give a big thanks to RB because he set up and put this together himself. And of course thank you to John for giving today’s review a little extra kick. — By the way, to all you development execs and readers out there, if you have any advance word on scripts that’ll make the Black List, let me know. The more I know, the more I’ll have ready when the list is released. Here’s Roger with today’s review…

Genre: Action, Science Fiction, Space Opera
Premise: Renko Vega, a disgraced cosmonaut, has resorted to a life of thievery with his best friend and partner, a sentient spaceship called the Jennifer 9. When a group of space pirates called the Augmentics take hostage the passengers and crew of The Starlight Revolver, Renko has the chance to redeem himself as he’s forced to choose between self-preservation or saving the people onboard.
About: John Raffo wrote the notorious post-apocalyptic actioner spec, “Pincushion”. His theatrical credits include “Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story”, directed by Rob Cohen, and “The Relic”, directed by Peter Hyams. John Shestack (“Air Force One”, “Dan in Real Life”) is attached as producer. Ryan Rowe (“Charlie’s Angels”) helped Mr. Raffo write the three-page treatment.
Advance word is that this script will make the 2009 Black List.
Writer: Screenplay by John Raffo. Original Story by John Raffo and Ryan Rowe.

I’m not gonna lie. I have a lotta love for this script.

The first thing I noticed about it was the awesome title. Sure, it stirs up images of a pulp serial adventure, but what kind? A name like Renko Vega evokes the cultural melting-pot nomenclature of cyberpunk.

And the Jennifer Nine?

Thoughts of cloning, sentient machines and artificial intelligence were swirling in my head as I opened the script.

So what’d you discover, Rog?

Imagine if there were a Star Wars film solely about Han Solo and you’ll have an idea what “Renko Vega and the Jennifer Nine” feels like. It’s a blaster-style adventure yarn that melds the Golden Age comic-book spell of Edgar Rice Burroughs and the swashbuckling charm (and franchise opportunity?) of something like “Pirates of the Caribbean”.

We meet our hero, Renko Vega, as he’s being pursued through a city by an angry mob of people. He clutches a trunk-like case, which, presumably, he has just stolen. The intimate female voice in his ear guides him through the maze of alleyways, hopefully leading him to an airlock.

Alas, there is no airlock, but there is a Plexiglass wall. Undeterred, and having no other option, Renko begins to slam the case against the wall despite the panicked outcries of the mob. Clearly, this is insane behavior and they don’t know if they should charge him or get the hell out of this area fast.

Turns out they should have turned tail and ran, because when that case penetrates the wall it’s like Ripley hitting the big red button to open the airlock on the Nostromo. Everything that isn’t nailed down, including people, starts to fly towards the hole. Renko takes a deep breath and dives through the hole.

We suddenly get the big picture.

As Renko floats through space, the Méliès-like mise-en-scène lets us know that our man just crashed through the wall of a dome that houses the colonists of a moon. And now he’s floating through space, chasing the case, running out of oxygen.

Oops.

But don’t worry. A spaceship, winged, sleek and Lamborghini-meets-Bentley cool scoops Renko out of the nebulousness darkness. This spaceship possesses the feminine voice that helped Renko escape the moon colony.

Her name?

Jennifer 9.

So the Jennifer 9 is a sentient spaceship?

Yep. And the case that he stole contains the precious, restorative fuel rods for Jennifer 9.

You see, Renko Vega is a space pirate, and the Jennifer 9 is his trustworthy ship. Renko, a disgraced hero and cosmonaut of the United Planet Earth, is also the type of guy that has lost faith in humanity. He doesn’t trust his fellow man. Instead, his only companions are the Jennifer 9 and the artificial life-forms that serve as her crew.

He’s a man that only trusts machines.

And as such, one might also conclude that, emotionally, he has developed what might be described as an inappropriate relationship (get your mind out of the gutter) with Jennifer 9. He’s bonded to her in such a way that she’s very protective of him.

Jennifer 9 sees Renko Vega as a charming rogue, and she sees herself as his beautiful and brainy side-kick. She would do anything for him. Yes, there’s love between them, and we will learn that love will be to the ultimate test.

So what’s the dilemma?

Jennifer 9 helps Renko infiltrate The Starlight Revolver, the largest spacecraft ever equipped with a jump drive, with the goal of stealing a priceless necklace called The Lady of the Shadows. The ship is a real luxury liner. Think the Titanic in space.

Not only is Renko recognized as a notorious outlaw, we also learn that he’s been branded a traitor. If anything makes Renko angry, it’s being called a traitor.

The plot thickens when a cruel-looking corsair dubbed “The Bloody Henry” attacks the Starlight Revolver. A nasty crew of space pirates called Augmentics crash the party. They’re humans who are into an extreme form of body modification, sort of like transhumanist Hell’s Angels who are in the business of scaring and robbing people.

Things get complicated when Renko learns that the Augmentics are led by Creighton Bevilaqua, a man Renko used to work for when he was a Captain in iNASA.

Things get even more complicated when we discover that he is here to capture Miss Elizabeth Ardmore, daughter of James Joplin Ardmore, Commander in Chief and President of United Planet Earth.

Jennifer 9 is extremely concerned with getting Renko the hell off the ship, and he’s not really one to argue. Selfishly, they’re only interested in survival.

Not saving the Princess of Mars (Elizabeth’s nickname).

Of course, in the stealthy scramble to find an exit, Renko butts heads with Kathryn DelRio, Elizabeth’s handler and bodyguard. DelRio is armed with a Merc-Matsu gun, an awesome piece of hardware that she uses to blow holes through walls and kill multiple Augmentics at a time.

Of course, Jennifer 9 is instantly jealous of her.

Once Bevilaqua learns that Renko Vega is on board, helping DelRio cause all sorts of problems for the Augmentics, he decides to kick matters up to Phase 2. “We need to find that girl before the ship comes apart. Mister Shiz, fetch the Nebulon project and prepare it for release.”

What’s the Nebulon project?

The cases that contain the Nebulon project read, “Radically altered genetic material contained within.”

It’s “the brain-child of a black ops program on the moon about ten years ago. Their mission was to develop the ‘ultimate individual combat module.’ But they abandoned the project.”

“Why did they abandon it?”

“Oh, ‘abandon’ is probably the wrong term. They didn’t actually survive.”

It is a genetically altered biological construct that is thought to be invincible in hand-to-hand combat. It’s the ultimate soldier, lacking only in the critical areas of dedication and loyalty.

As you can probably guess, we’re treated to a ten-page monster mayhem-sequence that involves Renko Vega, his Sentient Space Suit, and his Sentient Robotic Hand as they all battle the Nebulon.

It’s a scary, humorous, and riveting battle that jeopardizes the entirety of The Starlight Revolver. Naturally, I loved every word of it.

And I’m here to report, there’s a lot to like in this script.

What separates this script from an average Space Opera?

It’s the characters, baby.

And the execution thereof that elevates this from the type of Buck Rogers-esque Space Opera that science-fiction novelist Brian Aldiss calls, “The good old stuff.”

Sure, there’s witty Whedonesque repartee and talking Space Suits and chatty cybernetic body parts (not to mention one of my favorite characters, Renko’s loyal robot, Bill.1), but there’s some emotional depth that really makes this script more than an entertaining pulp actioner. It does something that doesn’t just make me care about a protagonist or merely be interested in his endeavors.

It makes me feel.

See, Renko Vega isn’t just a disgraced cosmonaut who has become a space pirate. He’s a hero, and DelRio remembers him as such, “Renko Vega was one of the first interplanetary astronauts. When I was your age he was always on the newsfeeds, ‘Renko Vega Leads Scientists in Exploration of Mercury’, ‘Renko Vega Saves Sixteen off Ganymede.’ He singlehandedly flew into the heat of Tartarus and towed out a disabled lightship. Renko Vega. Even his name was magical. They wrote songs about him –- Which made it all the more disappointing when he screwed up.“

Renko is a character who wears the veneer of a charming rogue to mask his own hurt, his own fall from grace. He has the chance to redeem himself and clear his name of treason when fate pits him against Bevilaqua, the man who framed him. But to do so, he has to step out of his comfort zone and actually help other people.

He has to step up and be what he once was, a hero.

How are the stakes raised in Act 3?

Without giving too much away (you guys really should read this for yourself), there’s a pretty major reversal that involves the bad guys getting control of Jennifer 9.

If there’s a spaceship battle involved, it might mean Renko has to battle his own ship (and best friend) in the more low-tech Bloody Henry.

It’s the stuff in the finale that moved me the most. Because it’s a situation where Renko is forced to harm a machine that he’s always seen as a person. In fact, Jennifer 9 has been the main friendship (and crutch) that’s nurtured him all these years. And what’s heartbreaking, is that he believes he’s worthless without her.

In a weird way, it’s like a husband faced with the potential loss of his wife. What will he be without her? What worth will he have? How will he move on? What will happen to his sense of identity once he loses his partner and best-friend?

I’ll just say that there’s a heartwrenching and redemptive speech during the middle of a battle that almost seems to physically slow down time. It’s amazing writing, and for me, it’s the heart and soul of this script.

And it’s a cinematic moment that, for an artificial intelligence, is an instance of singularity that convinces an audience that a machine is capable of human feeling. It’s really good.

I haven’t really talked about some of the other great moments. Like how funny Bill.1 is or the great scene where Bevilaqua tortures the twelve brains of the Starlight Revolver. Or the budding friendship between Renko and DelRio.

It’s something you should discover for yourselves.

“Renko Vega and the Jennifer Nine” is a colorful New Wave Space Opera that has the comical ingenuity of “Galaxy Quest”, the slick narrative gestalt of “Dr. Who”, and the engaging character drama of “Star Wars”.

[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] barely kept my interest
[ ] worth the read
[x] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: Is there a theme more powerful than redemption? I struggle to think of one. Maybe it’s the man inside me that feels stained, that feels like I need to somehow find a way to “right” things. I don’t know. Maybe it’s why I like noir so much. Characters trying to wash the blood from their hands, characters trying to balance a ledger that’s been corrupted by their own misdeeds and mistakes. I connect with these characters, and I love it go on the journey with them as they try to break through a wall and come out a more honorable person. It’s not only cathartic, there’s something about it that’s peaceful to me. In Renko Vega’s case, what’s so astounding to me is that he’s a character that re-discovers his own worth. He’s a character that learns how to believe in himself again. And belief, the ability to hope and to dream and to matter, that’s a powerful thing. I think, as writers, we shouldn’t be afraid to aim high. To dream big. Don’t be afraid. And writing about redemption, well, I think that’s as high as you can get…

ROGER INTERVIEWS JOHN

Since there’s advance word that John Raffo’s script, “Renko Vega and the Jennifer Nine” is going to be on the 2009 Black List (and I’m not surprised), I thought it would be a good idea to interview the man himself.

Raffo broke into the industry after the infamous 1988 Writer’s Guild strike when his spec script, “Pincushion”, sold for $500,000 to Columbia. Amy Pascal bought it for Scott Rudin to produce. It’s still considered one of the best unproduced screenplays in town. At one point, Demi Moore attached herself because Joel Silver told her it was the best script he ever read.

Raffo’s theatrical credits include Rob Cohen’s “Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story” and “The Relic”, directed by Peter Hyams. He was asked by the producers of the latter to doctor-up the action sequences. Raffo directed “Johnny Skidmarks”, a script he co-wrote with William Preston Robertson, a writer he met through the Coen brothers. The film stars Peter Gallagher, Frances McDormand, John Lithgow and Jack Black. Raffo was also the writer tasked with translating the classic Neal Stephenson cyberpunk novel “Snow Crash” from prose to screenplay.

Raffo is a Hollywood veteran and has been writing and selling screenplays for two decades, and accordingly, he has a lot of knowledge and wisdom concerning the craft. I’d like to publicly thank him for taking time out of his busy schedule to talk about his screenwriting career.

RB: You made big waves when you broke in with your science-fiction script, “Pincushion”. How many scripts did you write before “Pincushion”? And — why did you turn to screenwriting in the first place?

JR: I wrote one script before Pincushion, a thriller. It was terrible. I kept trying to rewrite it but I had a filmmaker friend who had the good sense to tell me to throw it out and start something new. Of course at first I hated his advice and tried to ignore it, but ultimately, he was right. I already had the idea for “Pincushion” and started working on that.

At the time I was a photographer working in New York. I made a decent living but I really wanted to move into film… and didn’t want to be a cinematographer. That seemed like a more natural move but ultimately would be just me shooting someone else’s stories. I wanted to be the storyteller. Screenwriting seemed like the place to start. I had an actress girlfriend at the time and I read all the scripts that she got, and I solicited them from other people I knew. Of course there was no Internet, no digital medium at all. Scripts weren’t published; you couldn’t buy them in a store. It wasn’t easy to get your hands on them at all.

RB: Twenty years later, “Pincushion” has yet to be made, but it’s still a script people remember and talk about. Was there ever an attempt to pigeonhole you as the guy that wrote solely science fiction and action?

JR: I’m not sure how much they remember it anymore, and I’m not sure how much it helps to be the guy who’s been around that long (my agents tell me never to talk about how long I’ve been working). But, no, I don’t think I was ever pigeonholed as a sci-fi writer… though I LOVE sci-fi. All kinds. Still like it, read it as much as I can.

I have been pigeon-holed before though… after “Dragon, the Bruce Lee Story” came out I got tons of martial arts stuff sent to me and tons of “bio-pic” ideas. I remember someone sent me a huge box full of stuff they had gathered for a movie about the life of Connie Francis. I’ve got nothing against Connie Francis and I’m sure her life would make a wonderful movie, but I have no idea why anyone would think I’d be interested in writing it. And the parts of Bruce Lee’s life that interested me really had nothing to do with Kung Fu. That’s like being interested in car chases. A car chase in and of itself is kind of meaningless… it’s really what motivates the chase that’s interesting….

RB: You wrote “Pincushion” on a typewriter. Do you think this affected the voice and tone of the script? And, do you ever break out the typewriter for your current work? Or are you strictly a computer guy now?

JR: Hmm… did I say I wrote “Pincushion” on a typewriter? That’s only partly true. I certainly wrote the first draft or most of the first draft on a typewriter, but by the time it sold I think much of it was written on a computer… an old CP/M machine with a tiny little screen. The floppy drives were unreliable and you needed a bunch of them to store a script. Chunks of revisions were typewritten but chunks were written on a variety of different computers. I’ve never had a complete draft of the script on a hard drive… and I didn’t know there was a digital draft of Pincushion until I saw it reviewed on Script Shadow a couple of months ago. Of course, I guess that’s a .pdf file… a scan… and it was probably a scan of a paper draft.

I no longer own a typewriter, but I touch-type and I’m pretty fast at it. But I rewrite constantly and only ever from a paper copy. I’m not sure if everyone doesn’t work that way? So, I write on the computer, print, read, scribble a lot on the paper copy, re-enter it in the computer and do it again and again. I’m not facile at writing. It takes me days to write a letter. I think the “voice” you talk about in Pincushion was a product of rewriting myself over and over again. I found the voice along the way, and then tried to maintain it throughout the script.

RB: I’ve heard people say that the average career-span for a Hollywood screenwriter is 3-5 years. You’re a guy that has worked as a screenwriter in Hollywood for 2 decades. First off, how do you do it? And secondly, what advice would you give to a young (or old) screenwriter that just broke in?

JR: Three to five years, really? I don’t know about that. I enjoy writing scripts. I’ve gotten better and better at it. I try to write only what I like, and try not to worry about what people think I should be writing… nobody thought Pincushion (which was set in a post-apocalyptic plague world with a female hero) was a good idea for a Hollywood movie. Nobody thought writing Renko Vega… a space movie… was a good career move. But they are both good scripts and they are what I wanted to write at the time.

But when I get hired to write a story I didn’t initiate, I try and figure out two things: (1) What I can best bring to the project and (2) what the producer or studio actually needs from me. You figure out where those two things overlap and… that’s what you try and write. But you’ve got to be working with like-minded people. You’ve got to find producers and executives who see stuff the same way you do… and you’ve got to be able to give them back what they want… and… it isn’t always what you want. I guess you’ve got to be flexible but still maintain what makes you a good writer. I don’t think of myself as an artist, I’m a screenwriter… it’s a skill you can learn… like making shoes.

RB: Do you prefer creating original screenplays or adaptation work? When adapting an already existing property, what are some of the biggest hurdles you’ve faced in distilling the story into a screenplay? Are there any old scripts out there of yours that you’re particularly fond of?

JR: I like both, but I think I’ve been more successful at writing original screenplays. There’s more room to let the story grow organically that way… and it’s more mine that way. But it’s harder to pull off as well… and, unfortunately, original material is harder to sell than ever before.
There are several unsold specs of which I’m fond. One is called, “The Seventh Sword”… it was an attempt at combining sci-fi with a kind of Kurosawa movie: A soldier is sent to a distant planet to put down a rebellion by the colonists. The counter-rebellion fails and his comrades leave him behind. The planet has a chemical makeup that is unfavorable to explosive weaponry so there are no guns. The hero is a kind of neo-Samurai who carries a legendary sword known as a “Malathane”. There’s another busted spec called “Hydra” that’s a kind of contemporary techno-thriller about a guy who discovers his dead brother created a computer program that’s turned dangerous. He’s got to figure out how to turn it off. It’s one of those giant continent-spanning chase movies. I was shooting for a modern version of “The 39 Steps”… one of my all time favorites.

There’s also a smaller independent thriller called “The Lake” that I wrote with Robert Harmon for him to direct. I’m very proud of that script as well, but we’ve been unable to get the money and the cast all at the same time.

RB: I want to bring this up for selfish science-fiction nerd reasons, but you were the screenwriter who adapted the famous Neal Stephenson cyberpunk novel, “Snow Crash” for producers Frank Marshall and Kathleen Kennedy. Can you shed some light on this project for us?

JR: I read that novel when it first came out in trade paperback in ’93 or ’94 and, once I got into it, I loved it. Talk about a voice… Neal Stephenson has a voice. A year or so later I discovered that Kennedy/Marshall had optioned the book… and I knew a guy who worked for them… and they were looking for a writer. But, here’s the thing… I didn’t really think the book would necessarily make a good movie. It was certainly going to have to be vastly different than the book. I passed. Twice. But they were determined to make it into a movie and it was by far the best opportunity for employment out there. But, by that time, maybe ’95, the book had become pretty popular and I no longer felt I could cut the book up as much as was probably necessary… it would have been kind of unrecognizable… and, for me, Neal was and is, pretty iconic. He is a real writer. But through the process… he was incredibly helpful and gracious and available and… he read and reread and reread everything I wrote. And I found myself pretty able to mimic his voice… that William-Gibson-with-a-sense-of-humor-thing he does. And he seemed to genuinely like the script. It was, like the book, crammed full of stuff. It was interesting, but… and here’s the thing… I’m not sure it was ever going to be a great movie. A cool movie, sure. One that sticks with you maybe, but is it one a lot of people are just dying to pay eleven bucks for… I don’t know.
Then they tried to find a director. Marco Brambilla came in and I wasn’t involved anymore. So that’s my story.

RB: What was the genesis for “Renko Vega and the Jennifer Nine”?

JR: Back around 2001, I had this idea for the character… a fallen astronaut in the future gone rogue… he’s become a small time pirate, a kind of charming second-story man. And I had the idea for the space liner and bad guys would appear and he’d have to be heroic again. I didn’t exactly know what to do with it but I knew I wanted it to be funny and I wasn’t sure I could do it by myself so I took it to my friend, Ryan Rowe, who’s much more of a comic writer than I am. Over emails and coffee we beat out a story. The Jennifer 9 was in it, the “Nebulon” was there, the villain, the jewel, and Bill.1. We turned it into a three-page treatment and took it to Jon Shestack (who is a big sci-fi buff and a guy who I’ve worked with before) and he liked it and helped us a little on the story and we took it out as a pitch. We went to a couple of likely places and we got hammered. No one wanted a space movie. They weren’t polite about it. So, we threw it in a drawer and it sat there for a couple of years. Until sometime in 2007 or so, I was looking for something to write and complaining and Shestack said, “The best thing you haven’t written is Renko Vega.” He went on to say, that if I wrote the first act, he could probably sell that. That was BS of course, but it sounded easy enough, so I called Ryan and he told me I was crazy and he was too busy, so I wrote the first act myself and it’s pretty much is what’s in the script now. Jon showed it to a couple of people, and of course they said, “What am I supposed to do with this?” By that time I was pretty committed to the story and decided to just write the rest, despite the misgivings of almost everyone. Of course, by the time I finished it, Star Trek was in production and there were other space movies on the scene so… I don’t know. There’s some kind of lesson in there.

RB: I loved the characters in “Renko Vega and the Jennifer Nine”. Can you tell us a little about your process when it comes to creating and writing characters? What’s the secret to creating memorable characters? And does this approach differ when writing villains?

JR: I don’t really have a cogent answer for this. The characters I write are all versions of me, or who I’d like to be, or who I would not like to be but fear I am. Villains, heroes, male, female, they’re all me. When they’re not versions of me, they don’t work very well.

So, when you need one, how do you make yourself into a thirteen-year old girl? You don’t. You pretend. In “Podkayne of Mars”, Robert Heinlein wrote a whole book in the voice of a pre-teen. It was great and I think he was an ex-Naval officer in his sixties at the time. Of course, it might be interesting to note that when I was writing Renko Vega, I had a thirteen-year-old daughter… (now fourteen). She is completely unknowable to me, but I asked her to read some of “the girl’s” stuff in the script. She did and said, “I don’t where you’re going with this… seems pretty stupid to me…” which is pretty much what the character would have said, so… I felt like maybe I was getting it right.

I remember when I was working on “Snow Crash” I went to visit Neal in Seattle, and we were walking down the street (to the original Starbucks (“the mothership”, Neal called it)) and I asked him how he got the tone for “Y.T.’s” dialogue (I was afraid I wasn’t going to be able to capture it, it’s singular stuff). We passed a newstand and he said, “Here,” and walked over and grabbed a couple of skateboard magazines… “I got it from here. This stuff is priceless.” And of course, he was right, it was right there. He just mashed up that skateboard-surfer-dude stuff, processed it in his head and… out came this great character. And I thought, well, if Neal, great man of letters that he is, can use such a humble source, than so can I. Now I don’t worry about it.

On a side note, when I asked Neal trepidatiously if he minded my trimming some stuff from the book, he said, “Are you kidding? That’s just… plot!” I don’t think he gives a damn about plot, which is why his books are what they are. It’s all about the stream of consciousness for him. I don’t think a screenwriter can think that way. My work is mostly in service of the plot. The plot’s gotta be right, cause everything hangs off it.

RB: Let’s talk about action sequences and set-pieces for a minute. In a modern-day movie climate where blockbusters often sacrifice the overall story for action-scene spectacle, how do you balance character and story amid all the explosions and fisticuffs? What are the things you take into consideration when designing an action sequence and making it organic to the bigger story?

JR: Well, that’s certainly what I want to do… balance character and plot and action… but, judging by a lot of stuff that’s out there, I’m never sure anyone but me really cares. I get really bored watching movies where everything’s exploding. I need characters I care about first, then they can run around and do cool things. You create a character, then you create a dilemma, then you complicate the dilemma, and the character has to get out the other side, only, because he’s human, he’s gone the wrong way, and he’s got to find another way. Then, in the end, he’s different, his point of view has changed.

RB: Not to get into spoiler territory, but there’s a moment in “Renko Vega and the Jennifer Nine” that absolutely blindsided me. It was an emotional sucker-punch, and it involved the humanity of the artificial intelligence, Jennifer 9. Do you have any tips on how to make a script connect with readers, how to actually make them “feel” when it comes to your story?

JR: You can’t look at Jennifer Nine as a machine. She’s a character, as valid as any human character. It’s interesting, because it was one of the things that wasn’t really in the original concept. But we realized (by we I mean myself, Jon, and Ryan. Those guys read every scene as I was writing…) that the story was gaining depth… more than I think we originally intended. Renko was always affable but also bitter, he hates society, hates people and surrounds himself, however unintentionally with machines. He loves the machines… and very simply, the machines love him back.

I’m not sure if it was the cause or the result, but the “hand” and the “suit” all appeared as I was writing. That finally, is the beauty of writing on spec. You can let stuff bloom… and that relationship… Renko and his machines formed the themes of the movie. I stumbled on it all as I was writing. When that happens… I don’t know… it’s awesome.

RB: I want to bring up a little flick you wrote and directed called “Johnny Skidmarks”. It’s a disturbing yet honest noir tale that, I think, makes a great double-feature with something like the Coen’s “Blood Simple”. It definitely feels like a hidden gem. How did the opportunity come about for you to direct? Would you consider directing again?

JR: I co-wrote Johnny Skidmarks (a title I abhor) with William Preston Robertson. Bill is a real writer, an Iowa Writer’s Workshop guy. I met him through Ethan and Joel Coen, who were friends of mine from back in NY. (Ironically, I met them when they were cutting Blood Simple.) I think Ethan and Bill were roommates at one point. I think it was Ethan who suggested we write something together.

Now, Bill and I are not at all alike. Bill is from the South and talks in a magnificent, comical, almost Foghorn Leghorn style. He’s also well educated. I am not; I have no degrees from anywhere and no formal training of any kind. We were a weird mix.

I had an idea for a story about a photographer who works for the cops and as a part of a blackmail ring simultaneously. That’s all I had and I couldn’t figure out how to write it… the story didn’t have any explosions or car chases (or space pirates for that matter)… nothing I thought I needed to write a screenplay. I told the story to Bill and he liked it enough to come to my house and camp out. He was there for three weeks… exactly 21 days… and we were done. The fastest I’ve ever written anything. I learned a lot from Bill. When something’s not working in a script or scene, I usually stop until I figure it out. Bill doesn’t, he writes around the problem… and he is completely capable of knocking you out with his gift for words.

The script was well-liked and it was always written with the intent of my directing, but it took five years to find the financing. Finally we put together enough cast to generate some money and we made it. When it was finished we cut it and were preparing to enter it into various festivals including Sundance. But the financiers simultaneously took the movie to Mifed and sold it to HBO. We were however, invited to screen it at Sundance that year. I took the movie up there, where it screened once at a midnight show on a Sunday night. The next day Variety reviewed the movie and it was brutal. The reviewer absolutely hated it and hated me… and the financiers vanished with the only print. It played on HBO for a while, a slightly shorter, better version than the DVD version and that was it.

I have mixed feelings about the movie; I only see the things I could have done better. I’m not fond of the violent, almost sadistic vibe the movie wears. Were I to do it again, I would do it differently.

I’d like to direct again, but it was hard on me and hard on my family… and by the end of it… it took too long. I didn’t write anything, didn’t create anything for almost three years from the beginning of prep to the end of the movie. Not a great way to run your career.

And that three-to-five year career thing, you mentioned earlier? It’s worse for directors. Hollywood treats writers and directors as commodities, this is true. We are all replaceable. But it’s worse for directors. In my opinion much worse.

RB: Along with your own success, you’ve worked with a lot of successful people. Is there a parallel you tend to see with successful people in this business (whether they be writers, directors, or whomever)? Is it all about talent? Or is there something more?

JR: I don’t know how successful I’ve been. I’m a screenwriter and I’m often working and sometimes I even get paid. That’s great. Right now, I’m just trying to write good stuff.
As for other people I’ve worked with… I don’t know. Sometimes it’s talent, sometimes it’s enthusiasm or luck or some combination of the three. Some really talented people can’t get through the door.

I can tell you that my own failures have been almost entirely my own fault. That’s the single thing I’ve learned over the years. I’ve fired agents and managers and occasionally made their lives unpleasant because something didn’t happen the way I thought it should. But Hollywood is not a meritocracy. Deal with it. Move on. Write something else. Write it better.

RB: Your stories deal with the theme of redemption. How important is redemption to you? Do you think it’s important to tell stories about hope?

JR: Yes. No. I don’t know. How many scripts are not about redemption or hope? It’s important to me that the characters have hope at the end of a story. I care for them (remember, “they’re all me”!) so…

RB: What’s the biggest difference as a screenwriter now compared to 15 years ago?

JR: Well, it seems like there was a lot more in development years ago, but I’m not sure. I just do stuff one thing at a time… sometimes I’m busy, sometimes I’m not. Lately less busy than before.

RB: What’s the best approach for going out there and getting writing jobs?

JR: If you ask my agent or manager that question, they would tell you that I am the worst person to give you an answer. I look like a troll, I’m not loquacious, and I’m not real great at pitching. But when I get it, a story or a character, I really get it and have been able to communicate that. If I don’t get it, I can’t fake it, I just plain suck.

RB: Is there anything else you can tell us about the current status of “Renko Vega and the Jennifer Nine”? And, can you tell us anything about the new scripts your working on now?

JR: People have been flirting with Renko Vega. It has a lot of fans. But it hasn’t landed anywhere. We’re trying to get a director on it. There are some good directors who like it who might not be big enough. I try and stay out of it.

I’m working on a couple of things, rewriting an old spec (my reps hate when I do that, but I’m not terribly good at giving up on things), preparing a pitch based on a graphic novel… a kind of family-oriented spooky thing. I’m preparing another original story… that might wind up being a pitch or a spec, it has aliens and talking dog (deal with it)… another family movie.

RB: Okay, one of my last questions. ScriptShadow is a site that emphasizes how important it is for amateur screenwriters to read scripts. In a way, it’s like stealing fire from the gods. How much emphasis would you put on reading in general for someone who wants to be a screenwriter? What type of things would you encourage fledgling writers to read and absorb?

JR: I don’t read that many scripts… not because I don’t like them, I do, but you can’t really steal from them (!) Every script I’ve written comes in some way, from other material. Sometimes it’s just inspiration, sometimes there’s a little kernel of an idea that the original author ignored but I want to explore. The source could be a newspaper article or a character from a book. It all goes in my head and gets blendered with the other goop and then, hopefully, sometimes, it comes out again.

And I read. I’m a reader. I love books. I guess that’s first and foremost. But when I started out, as I said before, I read a lot of scripts. You have to. But I also spent a lot of time watching movies… in those days I would regularly sit through double features at dusty old repertory movie houses. I’d go back three days in a row and watch six Fellini films or the entire Mario Bava canon… or Hitchcock, I’m a huge Hitchcock fan, which is interesting because he never went near sci-fi… which of course, I adore.

But it’s good. ScriptShadow’s good. I appreciate the discourse you guys generate… because it’s about scripts, stories, and it’s not about who’s buying what or the chess game of Hollywood. I can’t control that… so I don’t want to focus on it.

But I don’t entirely buy the idea that scripts are “artful” though I’ll admit to some confusion on this point. As a writer, I’m not an artist… or don’t look on myself that way. Rather, I’m a craftsman… a shoemaker, as I said. I try and make a good shoe. But here’s the dichotomy… there are ugly shoes and there are beautiful shoes. I want to make beautiful shoes that people want to wear and want to walk in. Know what I mean? Yeah, it’s complicated, but then again, it’s not.
What’s your favorite script that you’ve read? And are there any unproduced scripts out there that you’ve read over the years and loved?

It might be better if I leave the unproduced scripts to you guys. Your knowledge (and your readers, I imagine) is far more catholic than mine. Since I see a lot of broken scripts (or I used to anyway), I might know those better than ones I’ve loved. And the scripts I tend to read these days are either already in production or headed there.

I can tell you that, early in my career, there were two scripts I read that opened my eyes as a writer. The first was, “Raising Arizona”. There’s so much beautiful language in there and the first fifty pages are… well they’re a lesson in screenwriting. I like the script better than the movie. The second was “Silence of the Lambs”. Everything in the book is in the script, but the book was 400 pages long! I still don’t understand part of the plot (Hannibal Lecter’s relationship with Buffalo Bill) and Ted Tally didn’t fix the problem, he just left it alone, only weirdly, it was done with such skill, I didn’t care.

RB: And are there any books that you’ve read that you wish were being turned into movies?

JR: Have to hold back a little on this, for my own selfish purposes, but I think in the classic sci-fi scene I’m a little baffled as to why no one’s better exploited the Robert Heinlein library. I’m not talking about “Stranger in a Strange Land” which is too obviously a Christian allegory, but “Moon is a Harsh Mistress” and a lot of the earlier “juvenile” stuff is pretty cool. I don’t think there are easy adaptations in this stuff, Heinlein was funny and ribald and, oh yeah, a bit of a fascist. But, in my opinion, he was an infinitely better writer than someone like Asimov, who’s stuff is borderline unreadable.

Of course, we all would like to see a great version of “Ender’s Game” brought to the screen. I don’t understand why that can’t happen.

Robert Silverberg is always interesting, his stuff is diverse, and he’s still kicking ass. (Perhaps I should have mentioned Greg Pruss’ version of “Passengers” above. Great script.)

Of more recent sci-fi writers, Connie Willis might be the best… especially the time travel books. “Doomsday Book” would make an awesome mini-series… but I don’t think I could sell it. That book will rip you up. It’s nice to see someone doing something with hard sci-fi like in “Flashforward”. Robert Sawyer is more than worthwhile. Interesting that he’s found a home on network TV.

Hey, you know what, they’ve made and remade all those English costume dramas, Jane Austen and the Bronte stuff, and they keep making pretty boring movies out of Shakespeare’s plays, but for me the most interesting dead English writer is Charles Dickens. Dude could tell a story. If he were alive he would have written Harry Potter.

I’m sure there’s another hundred things I’m forgetting.

Ask me again tomorrow.

Tallying all these rankings for the Reader Top 25 (yes, it’s now going to be the Top 25) has been exhausting. Plus I gotta get ready for Halloween Week as well as prepare for the Logline Contest. That’s a long way of saying it’s time for another guest review. Today’s review is from author Erica Kennedy, whose novel, “Feminista” just recently hit bookstores. She’s a big fan of Scriptshadow and we recently got to discussing a script review. She likes romantic comedies and I’ve been meaning to check out Swingles for awhile so I thought it was the perfect fit. Another interesting tidbit is that Swingles will be Zach Braff’s directorial follow-up to Garden State. For some of you that will sound disastrous and for others it’s great news. I actually like Braff, so I’m interested to see how he’ll squeeze the big-budget high-octane sensibilities of Cameron Diaz into his more restrained view of the world. Here’s Erica with her review…

Genre: Rom-com
Premise: Two people whose best friends fall in love and leave them without their wingman and wingwoman join forces to help each other find mates.
About: This is a spec sale from 2006. Cameron Diaz has signed on to star. Zach Braff is set to direct which will be his first feature since 2004’s Garden State. He’s also doing a rewrite after Duncan Birmingham wrote the original spec, and Jeff Roda took a crack at a draft. And that’s not all. Braff might play a supporting role. They’re still searching for the male lead. This is the original draft by Birmingham that sold.
Writers: Duncan Birmingham

Okay, after reading the summary of this, I was totally down. Every time I’ve seen an article about wingmen/women, I think it’s a perfect movie premise. But I don’t ever start writing one because I knew someone else would and here it is. Even tho I don’t understand Cam’s choices sometimes (was the 2008 release “What Happens in Vegas” locked in a vault since ’03?), I like her as an independent, late 30’s and doesn’t need to be married, surfboarding, moneymaking babe so I could totally see her in the part of the sharp-tongued woman who the as-yet-unnamed male lead can’t stand…and since this is a rom-com, do I need to add “at first”?

We meet Diane, Cam’s character, a high-strung accountant who’s billed as the less glam of the two female friends, by page 4 but the whole first act belongs to Val Danko, an immature 29 year-old graphic designer at Quality Manuals, a company that makes direction manuals for assemble-at-home products. First of all, I love that professional assignation because we know he’s creative but working in a dull-ass job which is succinctly summed up in a brief exchange where his middle-aged boss (who becomes a funny secondary character) chides him about his use of “arial narrow”. Picturing Val in his cubicle in his old concert tees totally made me understand why his whole identity is wrapped up in bagging as many chicks as he can.

Problem is he can’t bag chicks without the help of his wingman, Nathan, a more genuine sort who has outgrown their post-collegiate hijinx and quickly jumps at the chance to move in with (and soon propose to) the smart and pretty Rachel, Diane’s bestie.

Now I have to say here that in the last few months, I feel like I’ve read four scripts that have some variation on this premise: lifelong, now thirty-something buds torn apart by the woman who actually wants to have a serious relationship with — or God forbid, marry — one of them. And this whole “dude, you took her to karaoke? that’s our thing!” schtick feels very, very gay to me. I immediately have a bias against these characters because then I feel like, Dude, what kind of loser/pussy are you?

This is exactly what goes on in Swingles for the entire first act but Val is so deep in denial and his dialogue is so snappy that, despite my admitted bias, I couldn’t help but laugh. But you know what really made this work for me? Once he and Diane, also wingless and floundering, join forces she says all the things I want to say to these guys and I fucking loved her for it!

At first, she either reacts to his childish antics by ignoring him (precisely) or basically saying, “That’s the dumbest shit I ever heard and why are you wearing that concert tee? Grow up!” But the great thing about her character, a successful accountant who put herself through Yale, is that she’s a desperate singleton too, no doubt about it (sometimes I was almost cringing). But I never felt like she was pathetic. I just felt for her. This is a tricky thing to pull off and I think now that a lot of the big female A-listers – Aniston, Zellwegger, Lopez, Bullock — are aged out of the rom-com ingenue category, it’s something screenwriters need to learn how to do. Because a woman like Diane who has accomplished so much professionally, a sister who’s out there doing it for herself, would probably feel like she shouldn’t care that she’s single but the fact that she does (a lot) would make her feel like a big fat loser. And then she needs a guy like Val to help her? Ouch. I think if you’re writing for an actress we all know is pushing (or beyond) 40, you need to be mindful of this. Because what’s endearing at 29 can easily become sad at 39.

Knowing C-Diaz is playing Diane, I’m really interested to see who they cast as Val because these are both great parts. Remember back in the day when you used to have two big stars in rom-coms like Julia Roberts and Richard Gere or Hugh Grant? (Or even further back, Hepburn and Tracy?) Now when it’s a vehicle for the female lead, the guy is just some random whose name you can’t remember. But Val is a plum comedic part which is another plus about this script. It actually made me LOL quite a bit when most rom-coms are neither rom nor com. (If they even let Dane Cook read this, I WILL lead the boycott.)

This premise is also milked for all its worth. Val forces Diane to hit on a guy at his grandma’s funeral (!) and then once she submits to being his partner-in-cruising, their routines are hilarious and I love that they have names like “Fighting First Date”, “The Gal Pal”… By the time Val drags her to a roller derby and forces her to skate in the amateur round (so HE can impress the chicks) and she busts out with, “I’ve never taken a fall for a man and I’m not about to start!” I swear I almost started cheering.

I hate when the leads in romantic comedies are cartoonishly opposite – she’s a vegan do-gooder and he’s a macho meat-loving corporate raider — but in Swingles, their tension arises from very realistic, relatable differences. He’s an immature poon hound and adult women don’t like immature poon hounds. ‘Nuff said. But we see Val growing because of Diane’s influence and we see her loosen up enough to realize that what she wants “on paper” might not be what she really wants at all.

When the hell is this going into production?

Script link: No link guys. But I’d look to MSP, who might have it.

[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] barely kept my interest
[ ] worth the read
[x] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: You can write a female lead that is desperate in some ways but not pathetic. I think with a lot of rom-coms she’s either too perfect/strong or too whiny/bitchy, just too something, but this script strikes a nice balance for Diane. I’m impressed that a guy wrote this! Also, if you have a great premise look at all the ways you can push it to the limit.

Genre: Psychological Thriller
Premise: A recently divorced female chef must cope with the disappearance of her next-door neighbor.
About: Marisa Tomei and Liv Tyler will star in this remake of South Korean director Chul-Soo Park’s 1995 film, “301/302.” Park will also direct the remake.
Writer: Floyd Byars

Cooking is just something I don’t do. If it requires a combination of ingredients, I’m not going to be the one combining them. If it’s in a bag or a box or between two sheets of bread, that’s my wheelhouse. They say you should step out of your comfort zone every once in awhile. Believe me, I’ve tried. And it’s never pretty. So when there is cooking to be done, I will wait politely behind the kitchen line while somebody else takes care of it. That said, the art of cooking intrigues me. Particularly the people who become obsessed with it. And there’s nobody more obsessed with cooking than Amy.

You see, Amy spent the better part of her marriage trying to make her husband happy in a very specific way: cooking for him. Breakfast, lunch, dinner…everything was about feeding and satisfying her man. But Amy has a bit of problem. She’s a teensy bit needy. And when I say “teensy bit” I mean “insanely fucking.” She’s always asking if the dish was good. “Was it good?” “Did you like it?” “Do you want more?” “Are you happy?” “Are you satisfied?” “Did you like it?” “Did you like it?” “Did you like it?” Over and over and over again. A few years of that will drive any man crazy. And sure enough, her husband went searching for someone else a little less obsessed with feeding him. In the meantime, Amy began eating everything her husband wouldn’t. And pretty soon, she looked like a chef whose food never made it out of the kitchen.

Flashforward to present day, where Amy, newly divorced, is being questioned by a detective about the whereabouts of the woman living in the next door apartment.This neighbor, Saffron, was a child actress who’s since found the acting industry noticeably unresponsive. As a result, she starves herself, trying to become as skinny as humanly possible, in hopes that that will somehow make up for her lack of youth. Before the disappearance went down, Amy forces her way into Saffron’s life, feeling the need to feed her, as she believes Saffron will die if she doesn’t. The contrast here of a “feeder” and a woman who “needs to be fed” is interesting, although it’s dealt with in such a weird way, it’s hard to determine if the result is successful. It definitely succeeds in being eerie, but I also feel like there was something lost in translation here. Whatever the case, it’s different. And for the most part, that’s a good thing.

The script itself jumps back and forth in time so much, it would make Tarantino’s head spin. We’re “fed” (heh heh) information this way, which helps us put together some of the earlier mysteries, and piece together the characters’ motivations. This time jumping is handled well enough, though we occasionally spend such large chunks of time in the past, that the rhythm of the screenplay is thrown off. I couldn’t quite tell if we were in the present, experiencing flashbacks, or if were in the past, experiencing flashforwards. What is this? An episode of Lost?

I think it goes without saying that the Koreans have a unique view of the world. It’s this view, I’m assuming, that doesn’t quite mesh with the way we tell stories over here, which becomes both a blessing and a curse for the script. For example, large portions of the Korean movie “The Host” seem to focus on the most insignificant aspects of the characters’ lives. Yet you have Oldboy, which is one of my favorite films (due to one of the best twist endings I’ve ever seen), which seems to resonate on many levels.

I have a feeling this movie is going to be all about mood, and I’m guessing Park will follow the lead of his original film. Has anyone seen this film? Can you tell us how it’s directed? Cause direction will definitely be key here. I picture a lot of lingering silences that aren’t evident in the script. In the right places, this could add a lot to a screenplay that lacks focus in areas.

In the end – if I’m going to keep the analogies going – 10A-10B is like the dish on the menu you’re intrigued by, but are afraid to try. I took a chance, and while it wasn’t quite for me, there are some tasty things here, at least enough to satisfy your appetite for the evening. :)

[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[x] barely kept my interest
[ ] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: 10A-10B does one of the better jobs of setting up a character I’ve seen in awhile. Amy is obsessed with cooking to the point of being freakish. So how does Byars go about showing this? Well, the opening scene focuses on a detective questioning Amy about the missing girl. Lesser writers would’ve made that the only thing going on in the scene. But Byars has Amy cooking during the questioning. So while the detective questions her, she’s also questioning the detective. “Did you like that?” “Was it good?” “Would you like desert?” “Do you want more?” Etc. Etc. So we get the immediate sense that something’s not quite right with this girl. Not setting up your characters properly is one of the biggest mistakes I see amateur writers make, so this is a great scene to study.

Okay, I wasn’t going to post this because everybody in the world picked it up and, I feel, it’s already gotten its due. Even Nikki Finke posted it on her page. But I’ve received a ton of e-mail from people asking, specifically because I read so many scripts, what my opinion on the matter is. Josh Olson is the screenwriter of “A History Of Violence.” They posted this article of his in Village Voice. And I am re-posting it here. Read it (but remember I DID NOT WRITE IT) and I’ll follow with my thoughts.

I will not read your fucking script.

That’s simple enough, isn’t it? “I will not read your fucking script.” What’s not clear about that? There’s nothing personal about it, nothing loaded, nothing complicated. I simply have no interest in reading your fucking screenplay. None whatsoever.

If that seems unfair, I’ll make you a deal. In return for you not asking me to read your fucking script, I will not ask you to wash my fucking car, or take my fucking picture, or represent me in fucking court, or take out my fucking gall bladder, or whatever the fuck it is that you do for a living.

You’re a lovely person. Whatever time we’ve spent together has, I’m sure, been pleasurable for both of us. I quite enjoyed that conversation we once had about structure and theme, and why Sergio Leone is the greatest director who ever lived. Yes, we bonded, and yes, I wish you luck in all your endeavors, and it would thrill me no end to hear that you had sold your screenplay, and that it had been made into the best movie since Godfather Part II.

But I will not read your fucking script.

At this point, you should walk away, firm in your conviction that I’m a dick. But if you’re interested in growing as a human being and recognizing that it is, in fact, you who are the dick in this situation, please read on.

Yes. That’s right. I called you a dick. Because you created this situation. You put me in this spot where my only option is to acquiesce to your demands or be the bad guy. That, my friend, is the very definition of a dick move.

I was recently cornered by a young man of my barest acquaintance.

I doubt we’ve exchanged a hundred words. But he’s dating someone I know, and he cornered me in the right place at the right time, and asked me to read a two-page synopsis for a script he’d been working on for the last year. He was submitting the synopsis to some contest or program, and wanted to get a professional opinion.

Now, I normally have a standard response to people who ask me to read their scripts, and it’s the simple truth: I have two piles next to my bed. One is scripts from good friends, and the other is manuscripts and books and scripts my agents have sent to me that I have to read for work. Every time I pick up a friend’s script, I feel guilty that I’m ignoring work. Every time I pick something up from the other pile, I feel guilty that I’m ignoring my friends. If I read yours before any of that, I’d be an awful person.

Most people get that. But sometimes you find yourself in a situation where the guilt factor is really high, or someone plays on a relationship or a perceived obligation, and it’s hard to escape without seeming rude. Then, I tell them I’ll read it, but if I can put it down after ten pages, I will. They always go for that, because nobody ever believes you can put their script down once you start.

But hell, this was a two page synopsis, and there was no time to go into either song or dance, and it was just easier to take it. How long can two pages take?

Weeks, is the answer.

And this is why I will not read your fucking script.

It rarely takes more than a page to recognize that you’re in the presence of someone who can write, but it only takes a sentence to know you’re dealing with someone who can’t.

(By the way, here’s a simple way to find out if you’re a writer. If you disagree with that statement, you’re not a writer. Because, you see, writers are also readers.)

You may want to allow for the fact that this fellow had never written a synopsis before, but that doesn’t excuse the inability to form a decent sentence, or an utter lack of facility with language and structure. The story described was clearly of great importance to him, but he had done nothing to convey its specifics to an impartial reader. What I was handed was, essentially, a barely coherent list of events, some connected, some not so much. Characters wander around aimlessly, do things for no reason, vanish, reappear, get arrested for unnamed crimes, and make wild, life-altering decisions for no reason. Half a paragraph is devoted to describing the smell and texture of a piece of food, but the climactic central event of the film is glossed over in a sentence. The death of the hero is not even mentioned. One sentence describes a scene he’s in, the next describes people showing up at his funeral. I could go on, but I won’t. This is the sort of thing that would earn you a D minus in any Freshman Comp class.

Which brings us to an ugly truth about many aspiring screenwriters: They think that screenwriting doesn’t actually require the ability to write, just the ability to come up with a cool story that would make a cool movie. Screenwriting is widely regarded as the easiest way to break into the movie business, because it doesn’t require any kind of training, skill or equipment. Everybody can write, right? And because they believe that, they don’t regard working screenwriters with any kind of real respect. They will hand you a piece of inept writing without a second thought, because you do not have to be a writer to be a screenwriter.

So. I read the thing. And it hurt, man. It really hurt. I was dying to find something positive to say, and there was nothing. And the truth is, saying something positive about this thing would be the nastiest, meanest and most dishonest thing I could do. Because here’s the thing: not only is it cruel to encourage the hopeless, but you cannot discourage a writer. If someone can talk you out of being a writer, you’re not a writer. If I can talk you out of being a writer, I’ve done you a favor, because now you’ll be free to pursue your real talent, whatever that may be. And, for the record, everybody has one. The lucky ones figure out what that is. The unlucky ones keep on writing shitty screenplays and asking me to read them.

To make matters worse, this guy (and his girlfriend) had begged me to be honest with him. He was frustrated by the responses he’d gotten from friends, because he felt they were going easy on him, and he wanted real criticism. They never do, of course. What they want is a few tough notes to give the illusion of honesty, and then some pats on the head. What they want–always–is encouragement, even when they shouldn’t get any.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to tell someone that they’ve spent a year wasting their time? Do you know how much blood and sweat goes into that criticism? Because you want to tell the truth, but you want to make absolutely certain that it comes across honestly and without cruelty. I did more rewrites on that fucking e-mail than I did on my last three studio projects.

My first draft was ridiculous. I started with specific notes, and after a while, found I’d written three pages on the first two paragraphs. That wasn’t the right approach. So I tossed it, and by the time I was done, I’d come up with something that was relatively brief, to the point, and considerate as hell. The main point I made was that he’d fallen prey to a fallacy that nails a lot of first timers. He was way more interested in telling his one story than in being a writer. It was like buying all the parts to a car and starting to build it before learning the basics of auto mechanics. You’ll learn a lot along the way, I said, but you’ll never have a car that runs.

(I should mention that while I was composing my response, he pulled the ultimate amateur move, and sent me an e-mail saying, “If you haven’t read it yet, don’t! I have a new draft. Read this!” In other words, “The draft I told you was ready for professional input, wasn’t actually.”)

I advised him that if all he was interested in was this story, he should find a writer and work with him; or, if he really wanted to be a writer, start at the beginning and take some classes, and start studying seriously.

And you know what? I shouldn’t have bothered. Because for all the hair I pulled out, for all the weight and seriousness I gave his request for a real, professional critique, his response was a terse “Thanks for your opinion.” And, the inevitable fallout–a week later a mutual friend asked me, “What’s this dick move I hear you pulled on Whatsisname?”
So now this guy and his girlfriend think I’m an asshole, and the truth of the matter is, the story really ended the moment he handed me the goddamn synopsis. Because if I’d just said “No” then and there, they’d still think I’m an asshole. Only difference is, I wouldn’t have had to spend all that time trying to communicate thoughtfully and honestly with someone who just wanted a pat on the head, and, more importantly, I wouldn’t have had to read that godawful piece of shit.

You are not owed a read from a professional, even if you think you have an in, and even if you think it’s not a huge imposition. It’s not your choice to make. This needs to be clear–when you ask a professional for their take on your material, you’re not just asking them to take an hour or two out of their life, you’re asking them to give you–gratis–the acquired knowledge, insight, and skill of years of work. It is no different than asking your friend the house painter to paint your living room during his off hours.

There’s a great story about Pablo Picasso. Some guy told Picasso he’d pay him to draw a picture on a napkin. Picasso whipped out a pen and banged out a sketch, handed it to the guy, and said, “One million dollars, please.”

“A million dollars?” the guy exclaimed. “That only took you thirty seconds!”

“Yes,” said Picasso. “But it took me fifty years to learn how to draw that in thirty seconds.”

Like the cad who asks the professional for a free read, the guy simply didn’t have enough respect for the artist to think about what he was asking for. If you think it’s only about the time, then ask one of your non-writer friends to read it. Hell, they might even enjoy your script. They might look upon you with a newfound respect. It could even come to pass that they call up a friend in the movie business and help you sell it, and soon, all your dreams will come true. But me?

I will not read your fucking script.

Josh Olson’s screenplay for the film A History of Violence was nominated for the Academy Award, the BAFTA, the WGA award and the Edgar. He is also the writer and director of the horror/comedy cult movie Infested, which Empire Magazine named one of the 20 Best Straight to Video Movies ever made. Recently, he has written with the legendary Harlan Ellison, and worked on Halo with Peter Jackson and Neill Blomkamp. He adapted Dennis Lehane’s story “Until Gwen,” which he will also be directing. He is currently adapting One Shot, one of the best-selling Jack Reacher books for Paramount.

©2009 Josh Olson. All rights reserved.

Carson back here. Okay, so here’s the thing. Josh brings up some great points. I have personally watched a couple of blossoming friendships destroyed because someone asked me to read their script and I gave them honest feedback. The problem is two-fold. Writers, particularly ones who are just starting out, tend to overestimate their ability to write. So when you give them feedback that says, “This wasn’t that great,” they take it as a personal attack and consider you (as Josh pointed out) an asshole. The second is that (also as Josh pointed out) people don’t seem to respect your time. Reading, thinking about, then coming up with constructive notes for a script can easily take 4-5 hours. Sometimes more. So let’s say I agree to read 4 of the 20 script requests I get in a week. That’s 20 hours right there. Who has 20 hours a week to spare?? It kills me that I have to say no to you guys when you write in, but at a certain point I have to stand up and say, “Hey, I haven’t been able to work on a script in 4 months. I need some me time!”

For that reason, I have to be choosy. I have to say no to people. I have to be the asshole. Because if I accepted every read request, it would be a full-time job (it should be noted that my situation is a little different from Josh’s. Reading scripts is kind of my job).

So I definitely understand where Josh is coming from. My advice for approaching people for reads is this. 1a) Be respectful of their time. Know that reading a script is a huge commitment, and be okay with it if they say they just don’t have the time. 1b) Show that you respect their time. Offer something in trade. If you work at a nice clothing store, offer them a gift certificate for a read. If you know they love the Dodgers, buy them a couple of tickets. Offer to babysit their kids. If you *show* them that you respect their time, they’ll be much more receptive to your request. 2) If someone in the industry does agree to read your script, you better be okay with them ripping it to shreds. You’re not asking them for a guaranteed referral to Spielberg, you’re asking for their opinion based on years of experience. If they say, “This isn’t any good. You need to do A, B, and C,” I would thank them for their time and start doing A, B, and C.

In all honesty. It’s not your fault. If you’re reading Scriptshadow, chances are you care enough about the craft to do what it takes to become a screenwriter. The problem people are the ones who come up with an “idea” for a script based on their and their friends’ experiences that’s just totally hilarious, have never written a single word before this, hit you up for a read, and treat you like an idiot for not seeing their genius. These are the people who have approached that industry friend of yours dozens of times before you came along. And since I can tell you from experience that only about 1-3% of scripts are any good, chances are every one of those scripts they read was terrible. Which means they’re expecting your screenplay to be terrible as well. If you come across as intelligent and respectful with maybe something to offer in return, you’re likely to get a much better response than High School Dropout John and his idea about a group of potheads who get stoned for 24 hours straight.

One final thing. I think Josh went about the article in the wrong way. Once you’re on the other side of the fence, it’s important to give back. And while you can’t help everyone, you should try and help where you can. Someone on a message board pointed out that Josh wouldn’t be where he was today if someone hadn’t read his script. It’s important for everyone with some level of success in the business to remember that.