Here are the 2009 Black List scripts with my thoughts. Here is also a link to the list. It’s going to take me a good 4-5 hours to put up my thoughts on everything. I may put them up in increments or just one big chunk, so keep checking back in. I know a lot of you want me to post script links but in light of some of the recent controversy surrounding the site, I’m not going to. However, they *will* be posted somewhere. My advice is to dig around Nikki Finke’s site, Matriarchal Script Paradigm, or really any blog or site that has comments (look in my blog roll down and to the right), and comb through those puppies, as a big list of links will likely surface. Good luck!

Edit: If you are the writer or agent or manager or producer of any of these scripts and would like to add some more information (anything that’s interesting about the project, any extra key details, genre, a full synopsis, story behind the writer or the script, anything at all, please e-mail me and I’ll add accordingly: Carsonreeves1@gmail.com

2nd edit: Just added about 15 more to the list. Going to take a break. Next update will be roughly around 11:30pm Pacific time. Also, late tomorrow, I’m going to break down the list a little more, from agency to gender to genre, that kind of thing. So that should be fun. Oh, and I have word that there are people with all the Black List scripts. I anticipate they’ll be coming online soon, easily by the end of the day. You just have to keep looking around, cause I’m not going to post them. :)

1) The Muppet Man by Christopher Weekes – A look at Jim Henson’s life, the creator of the most famous puppet franchise of all time, The Muppets.

Thoughts: I have to say I’m a little surprised but also very happy this script is number 1. As I noted in my review, I wasn’t a huge fan of the first two acts of the script (not enough conflict in my eyes), but the last act is so fucking good that it makes you forget all that. I’d like to think Scriptshadow helped out here, as it maybe bumped up the profile of the script when it got reviewed, but you never know. The reason I’m surprised is that it did not make the Top 25 Reader Faves List. That’s the only reason I’m thrown that it landed the number 1 slot. Still, this is a good script to represent the top honor for the 2009 list.

Review is here.

2) The Social Network by Aaron Sorkin – A look at the rise of Facebook and the effect it’s had on its founders.

Thoughts: Well what can you say here. This is one of the script reviews that put Scriptshadow on the map. There was a lot of laughing from the movie industry at the thought of someone making a Facebook movie (and plenty of jokes were made at Sony’s expense) so when I received the script, I expected it to be the worst thing ever written. It turned out to be almost exactly the opposite. Just a great great script. I don’t know how much of an effect it had on the project, but there were certainly a lot less snarky internet comments after that. Its still not a cinematic script by any means, but that’s why you bring in David Fincher.

Review is here.

3) The Voices by Michael R. Perry – Jerry, a schizophrenic worker at a bathtub factory, accidentally kills an attractive woman from accounting. While trying to cover his bloody tracks, Jerry starts taking advice from his talking (and foul-mouthed) cat and dog.

Thoughts: This is a script someone told me to read months ago but I was either too busy or falsely heard it was a standard horror film or something, but it didn’t sound interesting at the time. In the last week alone I’ve heard about ten people tell me I have to read it. With that logline, you can bet I’m going to. Sounds deliciously wacky. This will be one of the first ones I review.

No review.

4) Prisoners – When his young daughter and her best friend vanish on Thanksgiving Day, Keller Dover takes matters into his own hands, imprisoning and torturing the man who he thinks did it. But does he have the wrong man?

Thoughts: Prisoners by Aaron Guzikowski is a script I liked, but didn’t quite love. Its strength is its pitch-perfect dark tone, but it’s a little messy in places, particularly in the end, where it seems to pay off things that were never set up. The thing I find most fascinating about Prisoners is that it was probably the hottest spec screenplay all year, and yet for a long time, because they couldn’t get the right attachments, it didn’t sell. First time screenwriter Aaron Guzikowski must have been fucking flipping out. I mean, they can assure you all they want that everything will eventually work out, but I wouldn’t have wanted to be waiting in those shoes for all those months. In the end he won out though, landing a million dollar sale.

No review (taken down for various reasons)

5. Cedar Rapids by Phil Johnston – A small town insurance salesman heads off to the “big city” of Cedar Rapids, Iowa, to try and save his company.

Thoughts: Cedar Rapids was another nice little script, however this is another screenplay I’m surprised landed so high. The first act put me off because of what seemed like the cliche “Midwesterners are idiots” angle. But once you get used to the writing style and Johnston’s voice, the script just gets better and better. As others have mentioned, the casting here with Ed Helms and Sigourney Weaver (to start) is really really good. Go ahead and read the review for yourself.

Review.

6) Londongrad by David Scarpa – This is an adaptation of the Alan Cowell book, “The Terminal Spy: A True Story of Espionage, Betrayal and Murder” which is supposedly about the death of that soviet spy who was poisoned by radioactive tea.

Thoughts: Don’t have much to say about this one because I’d never heard of it before today’s list. It’s not really my thing so if this does get reviewed on the site, it probably won’t be for awhile.

no review

7) L.A. Rex by Will Beall (based on his novel of the same name) – Rookie LAPD officer Ben Halloran gets partnered with scarred and tobacco-spitting Officer Marquez, and the unlikely team hit the streets of L.A. on the brink of a gang-rivalry explosion amid run-ins with the Mexican mafia, brutal gang murders, and corrupt cops.

Thoughts: Beall is a former LAPD homicide detective and on the LAPD for ten years. He wrote this book while he was still on the job. Roger’s been jonezing to read this so I’d expect a review of this on Monday.

no review

8) Desperados by Ellen Rapoport – Wesley Robbins, a 30-something single attorney with an unhealthy obsession with coupling up, thinks she’s found the perfect man. But when he doesn’t call for days after the first time they sleep together she freaks out and sends him a scathing email, only to learn he’s been laid up in a Mexican hospital with some broken bones. On a whim, she and her girlfriends travel down south to erase the email before she ruins what she believes could be her one true love.

Thoughts: I’ve been hearing good things about what a lot of people have been calling, “The Female Version of The Hangover.” The premise sounds very similar to that Tom Green film “Roadtrip” from ten years back, as well as a few sit-com episodes, but by no means does that mean it can’t be hilarious. I definitely want to read this soon so expect a review in the coming week.

no review

9) The Gunslinger by John Hlavin – When a Texas Ranger is horrifically tortured and killed, his sharp-shooter older brother, Sam Lee Hensley, plots revenge against the mysterious, sadistic leader of a notorious drug cartel.

Thoughts: I actually started reading this once but it was a little slow and very dark so I put it down, promising to get to it later. It felt very “The Low Dweller,” and as those who read my review of that know, I wasn’t a big fan of that script. I would still like to get to this though, now that I’ve seen it made the Top 10. Hope it’s good.

no review

10-tie) By Way Of Helena by Matt Cook – Set in the south at the turn of the century, Texas Ranger David Kingston and his Mexican bride are sent down to the mysterious town of Helena to investigate the multiple Mexican bodies washing up in the river. What they discover is an idyllic-like town where everything is not as it seems.

Thoughts: This is another one of those scripts that sounds, from its description like it could be incredibly boring or really cool. “Turn of the century” never inspires confidence in my “have to read” meter, but I love the idea of towns that have secrets. One of my favorite movies of all time is “The Sweet Hereafter” which is all about a town’s secrets. So if this is anything like that, I’m totally in.

no review.

10-tie) The Days Before by Chad St. John – A man from the future keeps hopping one successive day into the past, desperate to stop a vicious race of time-traveling aliens from wiping out humanity.

Thoughts: This is the only script I’ve read in the top 10 that I don’t agree with. My complaint isn’t in the script so much (which is fast paced and well-written) as it is the premise, which I never found myself buying. I can’t pinpoint anything specific about it, but this idea of this guy continually jumping one day back to stop aliens from invading felt…off. I kept thinking, “Why couldn’t they hop 100 days back, coming to the world’s leaders with photographic and video evidence they took from these previous attacks to prove that the aliens were coming, which would allow them to really be prepared for these things? I’m sure St. John would argue that I’m looking way too much into it for what should be simply a fun ride. And you know what? He’s probably right. I have about ten people I trust who all love this script. So I think I’m the odd man out here.

no review

11) DOC AND HOWIE WHACK A GRANNY by Steve Leff
Two men, Doc and Howie, inadvertently kill an elderly woman when they neglect to help her carry groceries up stairs. The incident puts them in position to get closer to the woman’s attractive granddaughters, and they struggle with deciding whether to tell the women the truth about the circumstances under which they met.

Thoughts: Well, it’s not exactly Shakespeare, but any comedy where the main hook is that someone dies is usually pretty good (Hello, Weekend at Bernies???). Haven’t read this but it will be on my immediate “To Read” list.

12 – tie) PAWN SACRIFICE by Steve Knight
The life story of chess legend Bobby Fischer leading up to his historic world
championship match against Boris Spassky.

Thoughts: Um, the greatest Bobby Fischer movie has already been made! The Search For Bobby Fischer! As you know, I’m no fan of the Biopic, but if you’re going to pick a figure’s life to detail, this odd chess genius turned recluse is a great place to start. Will likely read this soon.

12 – tie) WHEN CORRUPTION WAS KING by Frank Baldwin
A scrappy lawyer from Chicago’s South Side rises to be a trusted attorney for the
Outfit – the mob that controls the city through an elaborate web of bribery, voter rigging and violence – until he turns state’s witness and brings the whole corrupt
system to its knees.

Thoughts: Doesn’t really sound like my thing. But these types of scripts always seem to do well with the Black List voters. Probably won’t be reviewing this.

13) TOY’S HOUSE by Chris Galletta
When fourteen year old Joe Toy and his buddies tire of their parents overbearing ways,they decide to build their own house in the woods, away from the restraints of the lives they have come to know.

Thoughts: Wish they listed the genres with these. This can either be a dark indie tale a la Where The Wild Things Are or a family friendly film produced by Nickelodeon. Either way, I have to admit the premise sounds intriguing. I’d like to read this one.

14) MIXTAPE by Stacey Menear
A thirteen year old outcast finds a mixtape that belonged to the deceased parents she
never knew, accidentally destroys it, and uses the song list to go on a journey to find all the music in an attempt to get to know her parents. (edit: Word is this script was never even submitted to anyone. It somehow got out and spread out purely on word-of mouth. Might have been even higher had it had an official release).

Thoughts: Hmm, a tweener version of Elizabethtown? That doesn’t inspire confidence. There’s a lot of sentimentality in this logline, and that can either lead to something great, if Menear’s got the chops, or something really really cheesy and saccharine. Kind of interested in this one.

15 – tie) BOOK SMART by Emily Halpern and Sarah Haskins
Two overachieving high school seniors realize the only thing they haven’t accomplished is having boyfriends, and each resolves to find one by prom.

Thoughts: I like the title. And I like that it comes at the high school genre from a slightly different angle (even if it isn’t wholly original). I feel like the teen high school movie has kinda died and I’d like to see it revived. Is this the one? Might take a look.

15 – tie) THE ISOLATE THIEF by Kevin Leffler
In the dead of winter in the middle of the U.S. Civil War, a young man tries to hide
the gold he stole from rogue soldiers who have taken over his remote house.

Thoughts: Not enough information here to really form an opinion. But it sounds like something a bearded Viggo Mortenson might be in. This could definitely work if done right. Might give this a read.

15 – tie) MOTOR CITY by Chad St. John
A small time hood is framed and sent to prison, only to exact revenge years later.

Thoughts: “The Days Before” writer, St. John, gets his second script on the list. Makes sense since good scripts inspire readers to seek more from that writer. This is another place where it would be helpful to get a genre. Is this more action? More drama? The one thing that makes me intrigued about the script is that it’s set in Detroit. That dying city is ripe for some sort of Hollywood treatment.

15 – tie) THEY FALL BY NIGHT by Zach Baylin
A burned out detective investigates the kidnapping of a socialite couple’s child.

Thoughts: Baylin has, up until this point, only worked in the art department on such films as Winter Passing and Dave Chapelle’s Block Party. Looks like he was secretly writing scripts during that time. The “burned out” detective angle contrasts nicely against the upscale family. Could be interesting. Would like a little more info on this one.

16 – tie) CELESTE & JESSE FOREVER by Rashida Jones and Will McCormack
A divorcing couple tries to maintain their friendship while they both pursue other
people.

Thoughts: Rashida Jones is like this industry mystery. Everybody loves her, yet she hasn’t broken out despite a good dozen opportunities. It’s not that we don’t like her. She’s one of those people who it’s impossible to dislike. Here, she’s written a script with another actor, Will McCormack. The two of them actually have another optioned property called “Frenemy Of The State,” about a heiress who works undercover for the CIA.

16 – tie) CONVICTION by Jonathan Herman
After serving five years in prison after a botched heist, a mastermind bank robber is
forced by a tenacious FBI agent to entrap his former protege who has embarked on a
multi-million-dollar bank-robbing spree.

Thoughts: This was a weird script. Despite my attempts, I could never quite figure out the tone. It sorta swerved all over the place for me, starting out as one film, and then becoming another. I didn’t think a lot of the situations felt realistic. For me, Herman’s other script, “Rites Of Men,” was vastly superior. Really liked that one. Either way, I’m happy to see Herman on the list.

Review.

16 – tie) NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH by Jared Stern
A suburban ‘neighborhood watch’ group, actually a front for dads to get some male
bonding time away from the family, uncovers a plot bent on destroying the world.

Thoughts: This sounds a little like a feature-length treatment of a beer commercial. The “plot bent on destroying the world” angle suggests something very broad. Maybe this could be the next “Old School?” Interestingly, Stern was a writer on the animated film “Bolt.” He has another screenplay sale titled, “Self-Guided,” about a guy who travels back in time to his high school days where he offers up tips to his younger self disguised as a guidance counselor.

17 – tie) BEST ACTRESS by Michael Zam and Jaffe Cohen
The story of the infamous career-long battle between screen legends Joan Crawford and Bette Davis, focusing on the on-set experience of the only film they ever made together WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE.”

Thoughts: This script introduced me to a rivalry I never knew about but I’m glad I do now. It also sent me searching for Whatever Happened To Baby Jane, which turned out to be a really good film. The back stage antics these two contributed to during the production are a little muted compared to the types of things we hear about in today’s media, but it’s a fun little script nonetheless.

Review.

17 – tie) BETTY’S READY by Jaylynn Bailey
After she discovers that her boyfriend is gay, a high schooler, determined to lose her
virginity before she goes to college, pursues several possible ‘candidates’ before she
finds love with her geeky neighbor, who has always loved her.

Thoughts: Not going to lie. This sounds like something we’ve seen a lot of before. So I’m hoping the execution is the star here. Jaylynn formally worked as a make-up artist.

17 – tie) THE SITTER by Brian Gatewood and Alessandro Tanaka
A suspended college student, living at home with his single mom, is talked into babysitting the three, young kids next door.

Thoughts: This was a funny script. Period. Okay not period. I’m going to keep on going. Basically, this is what “The Adventures In Babysitting” should’ve been. It’s edgier, it’s funnier, it’s more creative. The strange adopted Ecuadorian child is worth the price of admission alone. The writers have two other projects set up, one at Sony called “Hairstyles Of The Damned,” and another at Universal called “The Overachievers,” about a group of high schoolers navigating through tests and prep courses on their way to graduation.

Review.

17 – tie) WENCESLAS SQUARE by Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely
Based on the Arthur Phillips short story. Two spies fall in love while participating in separate Cold War missions in Prague during the 1980s.

Thoughts: Unfortunately, I’m not a real big fan of the two spies falling in love thing, so I probably won’t be reading this. But I gotta give Markus and McFeely props. These two have been blowing up, nabbing huge writing assignments like “The Chronicles Of Narnia: Voyage of The Dawn Treader” and “Captain America.” Obviously, they have some talent.

17 – tie) Z FOR ZACHARIAH by Nissar Modi
A sixteen-year-old girl named Ann Burden survives a nuclear war in a small American
town.

Thoughts: Jericho prequel? Or sequel? Not much info here but I love the giant implications of a nuclear war contrasted with the tiny life of a 16 year old girl. Could be interesting. Would like to read this. Nissar actually had a very brief acting career 20 years ago, appearing in The Return Of Sherlock Holmes TV series. (edit: This is actually based on a YA SF novel from the early 1970s by Robert C O’Brien, the author of MRS. BRISBY AND THE RATS OF NIMH. It’s essentially a two-character piece with an isolated girl vs. a creepy fellow survivor. It won an Edgar Award and was previously produced by the BBC as a made-for-TV movie.

18 – tie) BALLS OUT by The Robotard 8000 (Tim Talbott and Malcolm Spellman)
When insurance salesman Jim Simmers has a near death experience, he decides that
nothing matters except getting a promotion, a new car, and the hot girl from work.
Jim’s new attitude alienates his friends and co-workers, and he must figure out how to
live his new life without losing his old one.

Thoughts: Yes, the rumors were true. Yes, the most controversial script all year indeed made The Black List. Talbott and Spellman, masters of marketing, created a viral craze in the screenwriting community early this year with their early-90s style website promoting their masterpiece, along with numerous quotes from industry execs who had read and survived the script, a sort of parody of screenwriting and story conventions. The script was infamously ripped apart by Mystery Man On Film. As for what I thought of it, well, to be honest, I’ve only ever skimmed through it. But I admit to laughing a lot. Maybe one of these days I’ll review it on the site. If anything, the script is a good example of what a creative mind can come up with to promote oneself. These two thought outside the box and it paid off. They may get a little nasty if you try and cross their path, but overall, I have nothing but admiration for these guys. You know you’ve made it when you start typing your name into google search and it finishes it for you!

You can download the script here.

18 – tie) BURIED by Chris Sparling
A civilian contractor in Iraq is kidnapped and awakens to find himself buried in a
coffin in the desert.

Thoughts: A little disappointed this script didn’t fare higher but it’s such a unique script that I can see how it might not have been everyone’s thing. To me, this is one of the most intense readings I’ve ever had and one of my favorite scripts of the year. The use of ticking time bombs (which I go into in my review) is second to none, and is the perfect lesson on how to add more immediacy and tension to your script. Check this out if you haven’t already.

Review here. (with script link)

Interview with the writer, Chris Sparling, here.

18 – tie) THE DIVERSIFICATION OF NOAH MILLER by Adam Cole-Kelly and Sam Pitman
A liberal New Yorker realizes he isn’t as open-minded as he thinks he is and sets out
to make a black friend.

Thoughts: Ahhh, the old white guy making the black friend bit. A bit I am admittedly a sucker for (the Seinfeld episode with George looking for an African American BF is classic). Am interested to know if this is a straight comedy or a dark comedy. Hoping it’s more dark. These two also have a project I’ve heard about with Eddie Murphy producing called “The Misadventures Of Fluffy,” which is either about a dog on the run or an unfortunate porno production assistant. I want to read this. Please send.

18 – tie) THE GIRL WITH THE RED RIDING HOOD by David Leslie Johnson
A Gothic imagining of the classic fairy tale in which a young woman is confronted by a werewolf, this time with a teenage love triangle at its center.

Thoughts: Hmm, I like the Gothic angle. Sounds a little bit like that video game “Alice” that they were trying to turn into a movie (and maybe even did, I’ve forgotten). But this sounds like it may be trying to grab some of that Twilight glitter, with the teenage love triangle sounding very similar to the super-franchise. However, this is a follow-up to Johnson’s successful spec turned movie, Orphan, which I thought was pretty good. What a great cast, especially that freaky ass semi-russian girl, who nailed it. So I may give this a read.

18 – tie) MY MOTHER’S CURSE by Dan Fogelman
The young inventor of a new organic cleaning product invites his mother on a cross-country road trip as he tries to sell his product to marketing outlets. His ulterior motive is to reunite her with a man she loved when she was young, and her motive is to help him overcome his ‘curse’ of non-commitment in relationships, for which she blames herself.

Thoughts: You know, this sounds pretty good if done right. I know there’s an aversion to this indie “on the road” type movie (I will murder myself before I ever watch Transamerica for example) but what I like here is that the two key players have secret motives to help the other. I can already see that leading to some funny situations. So I’d like to read this. And hey, if there’s any writer qualified to write about a road trip, it’s Fogelman, the writer of 2006’s Pixar film, “Cars.” He also has the geriatric version of The Hangover set up at CBS films titled, “Las Vegas.”

18 – tie) RESTLESS by Jason Lew
A tale of young love between a teenage boy and girl who share a preoccupation with
mortality.

Thoughts: Don’t worry. Jason Lew is not to be confused with Jason Mewes. This is actually the project that Gus Van Sant plans to direct for Imagine Entertainment. Yes, Imagine. That should be a hell of an interesting combination. Lew is brand new on the scene and was formally an actor with a couple of small parts. I’m guessing this will have lots of grainy shots and the end of plot as we know it.

18 – tie) STREETS ON FIRE by Justin Britt-Gibson
Two cops, reluctantly partnered, try to bring down a drug syndicate while navigating
the streets of Chicago.

Thoughts: This gets the most generic synopsis award, and that’s too bad, because on a list this big, you gotta stand out. I’d love it if Britt-Gibson or his reps could send me a more detailed description of this. I’ll put it up immediately. Britt-Gibson has one other screenplay he optioned titled “The 7th Son” about a group of strangers who come together after an assassination of the U.S. president and make an unusual discovery about themselves.

18 – tie) TAKE THIS WALTZ by Sarah Polley
A young woman struggles with her infidelities and the budding realization that she may be addicted to the honeymoon period of her relationships.

Thoughts: Hmm, very interesting. Polley’s “Away From Her” was one of the better directing efforts I saw all of last year. I wasn’t a fan of the script though, as it violated the rule horse I continue to beat on this site – a story that starts out one way, then turns into something completely different. It signified to me a writer that didn’t understand how to craft an entire story. But I like Sarah Polley and with a little more experience in the Final Draft department, her follow-up should be better. This is another one of those scripts that could either be a drama, a dark comedy, or a rom-com. But it’s Sarah Polley, so I’m guessing drama.

18 – tie) THE TRADE by Dave Mandel
The true story of two New York Yankees pitchers who caused a national scandal when they swapped wives in the early 70s.

Thoughts: Uhhhh, what??? This really happened?? And not in a Fox “Wife Swap” kind of way? Okay, I have to read this. But I’m really hoping there’s some realism behind it and it’s not some shit studio film starring Martin Lawrence and Jim Belushi as the “wacky” pitchers. And I really hope Dave Mandel is not related to Howie Mandel. — OH SHIT! Fuck it all. I just realized this was the writer of Eurotrip (one of the biggest spec sales ever). This is going straight to my most anticipated list.

18 – tie) WHATEVER GETS YOU THROUGH THE NIGHT by Morgan Foehl
After ten years on the run from the mob, the son of a mob lawyer must choose between
prison and helping the man who killed his mother.

Thoughts: Love the title here. The genre on this one is tough to figure out because while it sounds deep and dark, Foehl was previously an editor on two of Adam Sandler’s films, Click and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. So could this be a comedy? Would like to know more please.

19 – tie) BAYTOWN DISCO by Barry Battles and Griffin Hood
Three redneck brothers get in over their heads when they agree to help a woman kidnap her son back from his seemingly evil father.

Thoughts: Another logline that’s hard to figure out. These two are new on the scene, with most of their work coming as actors. If this is a straight-up comedy, I might be interested in reading it.

19 – tie) THE GUYS GIRL by Nick Confalone and Neal Dusedau
Three male best friends realize they’re each in love with their mutual female best
friend when she gets engaged.

Thoughts: Ugh, had a similar idea to this. Though mine’s more “The Big Chill.” This sounds like an out and out comedy. These two are brand new on the scene. Dusedau worked on both “Munich” and “The Happening” as an assistant.

19 – tie) JIMI by Max Borenstein
The life story of rock legend Jimi Hendrix.

Thoughts: Ahhhhhh! Biopic alert! Biopic alert! But I guess if you’re going to make a biopic, it might as well be about Jimi Hendrix, right? Although Borenstein seems to have been writing for awhile, his success has come more recently. He has a project in development at Kevin Spacey’s Triggerstreet Productions called “Rigged,” a truth life story about a kid who became a bajillionaire changing the oil trade business.

19 – tie) LOVESTRUCK by Annabel Oakes
Cynical best friends Amelia and Ruth love nothing more than to ridicule romance. When
they take it one step too far at their friend’s wedding, they are sentenced to a fate
worse than death – becoming heroines in their own romantic comedy.

Thoughts: Not sure how I feel about this one. Parodying romantic comedies is a tricky proposition. The conventions are so dated that I don’t know if it’s funny to make fun of them anymore. But this seems geared towards women, so I’ll bow out of the commentary. Oakes has one foreign film to her credit titled Morenita el Escanadalo about a man desperate to save his family from death threats by a notorious drug dealer.

19 – tie) RITES OF MEN by Jonathan Herman
When a working class dad’s only son is murdered, he sets out to discover who is
responsible.

Thoughts: Ahhhh-ha! So here’s Rites of Men! Flip this and Conviction around and I’ll be happy. “Men” is very “Taken” in nature, with more of a detective angle to it. There are lots of twists and turns and the script never quite goes the way you think it will. Happy to see this on the list.

Review.

19 – tie) SHIMMER LAKE by Oren Uziel
As a small-town bank-theft job slowly unravels, it proves to involve virtually
everyone, from an ex-meth-lab runner to a crooked prosecutor and his vengeful cop
brother.

Thoughts: Yes! Another great script! This one won the Austin Film Festival Screenwriting Competition and I immediately knew why after I finished it. What the synopsis doesn’t tell you is that the script is actually told backwards. Now usually, that’s a gimmick, but here, Uziel really makes it work. Combine that with his unique voice and gift for off-beat comedy, and this is a writer I see carving out a huge career for himself. Get on the Uziel train while you can.

Review.

19 – tie) SMILE, RELAX, ATTACK by Eli Attie
A young, ambitious political consultant finds himself in over his head when his first big client – an incumbent Democratic Virginia Senator – becomes the subject of national scrutiny by both Parties.

Thoughts: Uhhh, can someone say in the running for best title of the list? We had to get some more political action going so I guess this is filling the need. Still, how are you going to beat “Farragut North?” Well, Attie’s no slouch, having written one of the bigger specs of the last few years, The 28th Amendment, which will star Denzel Washington. In it, the new President of the United States discovers a secret cabal that runs the government and wants him dead.

20 – tie) BOBBY MARTINEZ by Ric Roman Waugh
A coming-of-age biopic about the titular Mexican-American surfer. Martinez rose out of the gang-ridden streets of Southern California to become a hero to his community when he swept every major amateur surfing tournament in his first year of competition and won the ASP Rookie of the Year honors in his first pro season.

Thoughts: Not liking the biopic angle, but I have to admit, this logline has some great irony in it. A south-central surfer? Count me in. Finally, a biopic I’m excited about. Interesting thing about Waugh. He used to be a stuntman. Now he’s one of the hottest writers in town, with a half a dozen scripts in development.

20 – tie) CORSICA 72 by Neil Purvis and Robert Wade
On the island of Corsica in 1972, childhood best friends Marco and Sauveur find their
lives veering in opposite directions – the first towards the Mafia, the second toward
a simpler life with his beloved, Lucia. When the Corsican mob kills Sauveur’s brother,
they ignite a tit-for-tat blood feud that inevitably leads toward a final showdown.

Thoughts: Wasn’t a huge fan of this script (which finished number 2 on this year’s Brit List) but a lot of other people seem to be, so I’m not going to rain on the parade. I think people see some of The Godfather in it, and no doubt, it brings back memories of those movies. So if you love those films, I have a feeling you’ll like this.

Review.

20 – tie) A FISTFUL OF QUARTERS: THE LEGEND OF NOLAN BUSHNELL by Brian Hecker and Craig Sherman
The rise of Nolan Bushnell, father of the videogame industry, who started Atari in the
70s.

Thoughts: Biopic fever. Unfortunately, I don’t have a fever for the flavor. If Bushnell had a crazy life, then I say film away. But if this is just following a geeky dude through his life for two hours, I’ll stick with my Playstation 3. This team is relatively new. Hecker has one produced credit to his name, the 2008 indie “Bart Got A Room.” Sherman wrote an indie of his own, “New Suit.”

20 – tie) GOOD LOOKING by Chris McCoy
In a future where dating services perfectly match soulmates, a man rejects the person
chosen for him.

Thoughts: Tough to get a feel on this one. Feels like we’re missing some key information. Anyone want to write in and give me some more details?

20 – tie) JIMMY SIX by Daniel Casey
The screw-up son of a murdered mobster goes with a hitman to exact revenge on the
informer who sent his father to his death.

Thoughts: I like the “screw-up son” angle here. Gives this a little bit of freshness because if not for that, it would sound pretty generic. No info on Daniel Casey out there. He’s a mystery man.

20 – tie) LIARS (A-E) by Emma Forrest
A twenty-nine year old woman on the way to President Obama’s inauguration stops to
retrieve lost items from her ex-boyfriend in the hope of getting over her most recent
heartache.

Thoughts: Ah yes, the recently reviewed Liars (A to E). Although not reviewed by me. Novelist Forrest is notoriously known for her brief relationship with Colin Farrel, who is said to be the inspiration behind the script. Some people don’t like the hip-as-thou semi-Juno lingo, but it’s hard to argue against Forrest being a good writer.

Review.

20 – tie) THE STORM by Richard Taylor and Bryan Bagby
A bounty hunter and his prey must unite to take on an evil sheriff and his posse in a lawless Wyoming town.

Thoughts: This logline I really like. First, you got the storm. Rainy, messy, chaotic. Ripe for conflict. Then, it’s always fun to see the hero and the villain have to reluctantly team up together. Throw the cherry on top of an evil sheriff? Hello! A fucking script sundae! — This looks like an English duo as the company that bought the script is set up in the U.K. But if it’s English, why didn’t it make The Brit List?

21 – tie) 2 GUNS by Blake Masters
Based on the comic book of the same name by Stephen Grant. A DEA agent and an undercover naval intelligence officer unwittingly investigate each other while stealing mob money.

Thoughts: First of all, great name. Blake Masters. I’d kill to have that name. You know what it sounds like actually? It sounds like a professional golfer name. You know, Blake should consider taking up golfing. I hear there’s an opening available. Anyway, Universal bought this one. Sounds like something Colin Farrel and Ethan Hawke would team up and do. I’m not sure what that observation implies. To be honest, this isn’t my thing. But Roger would probably love it. Roger? Where are you?

21 – tie) ARTHUR by Peter Baynham
Based on the 1981 film of the same name. A spoiled rich twenty-something must decide
between true love and the vast fortune he’ll inherit if he marries a society woman whom
he doesn’t love.

Thoughts: Oh how I miss you Dudley Moore, you bottle-gourging son of a gun. Peter Baynham came up with the story for Bruno. He also did some acting before he wrote and was an extra on the film, Shaun Of The Dead.

21 – tie) CUT BANK by Roberto Patino
A small town thriller set in Cut Bank, Montana.

Thoughts: I couldn’t have come up with a less descriptive synopsis if I wrote, “A man jumps.” I’m guessing this isn’t Patino’s fault. Anyway, Patino is a true newcomer to the craft. He worke on a documentary and a short, both in the camera department.

21 – tie) DEAD LOSS by Josh Baizer and Marshall Johnson
A crab fishing boat crew rescues a castaway adrift in a life raft with mysterious cargo that soon both captivates and divides them.

Thoughts: Uh, can somebody say fucking robbed!!?? This script was awesome. It should’ve been way higher. Not only is it a unique contained thriller in that it takes place in one of the most dangerous professions on earth, but the characters are well-drawn, the twists and turns keep coming, and it’s got a great central conflict between the two heroes (the brothers). This is a movie that needs to get made, like, yesterday man. Hurry up already. First major mistake of the Black List.

Review.

21 – tie) THE GHOST AND THE WOLF by Rylend Grant and Dikran Ornekian
An ex-cop and his old partner must reunite, burying years of distrust, to take on the
vicious Russian mobsters who altered their lives profoundly in the 90s… destroying one
and propelling the other to Captain.

Thoughts: Hating the Russian angle. Feels too played out. But I love the idea of two older cops who lost a friendship having to re-team. As always, you’re looking to build stories with inherent conflict in them, and this obviously has it. Dikran Ornekian was an assistant to Stephen Sommers on both the last Mummy movie he did and G.I. Joe. Both writers are relatively new to the game.

21 – tie) I HATE YOU DAD by David Caspe
A father moves in with his son on the eve of his son’s wedding and promptly begins feuding with the bride-to-be.

Thoughts: At first glance I thought the title was simply, “I Hate You,” which I’d already decided was the greatest title ever. This sounds like it needs something extra to explain why the dad is arguing with the bride. Right now you just scratch your head and go, “Why would he argue with her?” Could be good though.

21 – tie) IF I STAY by Shauna Cross
Based on the novel of the same name by Gayle Forman. A teenage girl leaves her body after a tragic car crash and needs to decide whether to return to her life or not.

Thoughts: Summit, the new mega-studio, is producing this one. Feels like The Lovely Bones to me. You might recognize Shauna Cross’ name as she’s the writer of the beloved screenplay, “Whip It,” which if I remember correctly did very well on last year’s list. The movie was kind of a bust, but I don’t know a single woman who read Whip It and didn’t love it.

21 – tie) I HOPE WE CAN STILL BE FRIENDS by John Whittington
A couple breaks up after 5 years together but vow to remain friends after the fact, which proves much harder to do than they imagined.

Thoughts: This is the kind of movie that can be really good or really average. I love the premise, but because its staying power is minimal (they break up in the first 5 pages – now what?), the writer will have to come up with plenty of sub-plot nuggets to keep us involved. I wish I could tell you more about Whittington but alas, I know not a thing.

21 – tie) THE KING’S SPEECH by David Seidler
George VI, also known as Bertie, reluctantly takes the throne of England when his brother, Edward, abdicates in 1936. The unprepared king turns to a radical speech therapist, Lionel Logue, to help overcome his nervous stutter and the two forge a friendship.

Thoughts: Hmm, I kind of like this. The fact that a King is terrible at the one thing a King cannot be terrible at is intriguing. But the forming of the friendship with the speech therapist…I don’t know. Not jumping for joy there. But good for Seidler. He’s been in this business for awhile (he wrote “Tucker: The Man and His Dream,” a dozen years ago). So it’s nice to see him do well.

21 – tie) THE LOW SELF ESTEEM OF LIZZIE GILLESPIE by Mindy Kaling and Brent Forrester
A single girl in Manhattan dates the hottest guy in the world but must overcome her insecurities when she hears him deny they are dating.

Thoughts: Mindy Kaling you’ll know as the Indian actress on The Office. Brent Forrester is another writer on the office. Things seem to be going well for the Office writers these days as they’re all either writing Ghostbusters or Star Wars films or anything they want. The premise here doesn’t sound very deep but this is a script that has come on strong with heavy word-of-mouth this last month. I’ll probably check it out.

21 – tie) THE BLIND RAGE OF PEACOAT MILLER by Adam Penn
A college student home for the holidays discovers that an internet porn film turns its
viewer into homicidal maniacs. As the epidemic spreads, he has to save his longtime
crush while struggling to control his own urges.

Thoughts: Having a problem making the connection between watching porn and becoming a killer, but this seems like one of those out-there premises where you either go with it or you don’t. Great title. Great writing name. We have another editor here (they say editors are good writers because they know what needs to be to cut out before they even begin). Penn worked as an editor on the HBO show, Oz, as well as the guilty pleasure Nip/Tuck.

21 – tie) CON MEN by Eric Lane
Greg Weinstock and Kevin Russell, two drug reps from Burlington Labs with nothing in common aside from a shared gift of moving product, are dispatched to a convention to hook the biggest sale of their lives.

Thoughts: Sounds like another buddy indie comedy. Hoping there’s a little more pop to it than that.

21 – tie) JOSH by Gary Ross
The lives of a single father and his teenaged son are dramatically changed when the boy’s mother returns and wants to be part of her son’s life.

Thoughts: I think they mean “estranged mother?” Sounds very dramatic. Maybe it’s because the word “dramatically” is in there. Anyway, Gary Ross is a heavyweight. He’s written Dave, Pleasantville, Sea-Biscuit, and Spider-Man 4. And after all that, he found time to write a little indie film that made the Black List. Nice.

21 – tie) MY SISTER IS MARRYING A DOUCHEBAG by Wendy Molyneux and Lizzie Molyneux
A young woman, thinking that her sister’s new fiance is a douchebag, sets out to sabotage their wedding.

Thoughts: When the Molyneux sisters write a script, watch out. Not that I know them. But you just better. The excessive offensive title approach is getting on peoples’ nerves, which actually makes me have *more* confidence in this script, since it’s survived that initial prejudice. The sister tag team has worked on some small-time TV stuff, but other than that, this is their first breakthrough.

21 – tie) NO BLOOD, NO GUTS, NO GLORY by Chase Palmer
A spy and twenty Union soldiers in disguise board a train in Georgia to execute a scheme that could bring a quick end to the U.S. Civil War.

Thoughts: This sounds good. It feels relevant, with hints of terrorism oozing from its premise. By Americans no less! Up to this point, Palmer’s only written and directed short films, but he’s tabbed to helm a couple of mid-level films, so he’s definitely moving his way up.

21 – tie) NORM THE MOVIE by Sam Esmail
“A buddy comedy in which a guy is transported into a movie… or so he thinks.”

Thoughts: Let me tell you a little bit about Sam Esmail. This guy’s nuts! He writes weird ass shit and he’s really good at it, a sort of Charlie Kaufman in training. His last script, “Sequels, Remakes, and Adaptations,” made it onto last years’ list and was quite good. This sounds like an unofficial sequel to that script.

21 – tie) RENKO VEGA & THE JENNIFER NINE by John Raffo
Renko Vega, once a hero and now a rogue thief wandering the galaxy with his hyperintelligent spaceship the Jennifer 9, is forced to become a hero once again when the young daughter of the President of Earth is kidnapped.”

Thoughts: Han Solo type hero? Crazy imaginative sci-fi world? Uh, yeah, count me in.

You can check out the review, the script, and an interview with John here.

21 – tie) SMASH AND GRAB by Marc Wolff
When his wife is kidnapped, a reformed thief has to team up with his hapless ex-partner
to save her, while dodging the LAPD, the FBI, and various members of the Los Angeles underworld.

Thoughts: Okay, this damn well better be in the execution, because there isn’t an original beat in that logline. Unless of course it’s a Jason Statham movie. Then it’s okay. Solid title.

21 – tie) THE TRUE MEMOIRS OF AN INTERNATIONAL ASSASSIN by Jeff Morris
Joe, an insecure writer with a boring desk job, finally manages to sell his assassin novel, The Memoirs of an International Assassin to the one publisher that will buy it. To his horror the publisher retitles it The True Memoirs of an International Assassin and markets the book as non-fiction — making it seem as if Joe is the assassin himself. He soon finds himself in the crosshairs of the CIA, various drug lords, the media, and a beautiful investigative journalist while on a vacation in Belize.

Thoughts: Hip-hip hell yeah. Scriptshadow friend Jeff Morris makes the Black List. I could tell you more about Jeff and the script but why don’t you just go to the review and interview to find out yourself.

Review here.
Interview here.

21 – tie) THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY by Mark Bomback
Based on the comic book written by Gerard Way. After being raised by a brilliant scientist and a hyper-intelligent chimp, six super-powered former ‘child superheroes’ reunite to stop one of their own from leading a violin symphony that will destroy the world.

Thoughts: Well, the premise certainly has panache. Sounds very “Lava Boy and Shark Girl,” but there could be more going on here. Bomback’s an established force in the industry. He wrote Deception, Race To Witch Mountain, and Die Hard: Live Free Or Die Hard.

22 – tie) 30 MINUTES OR LESS by Matthew Sullivan and Michael Diliberti
A comedy about a pizza delivery guy on an unlikely caper.

Thoughts: Not gonna lie. Premise feels a little dated, unless maybe it’s set in the 80s? These two have been nabbed to do the update on Brewster’s Millions (speaking of high-concept comedies). Very well may have gotten that job off this spec?

22 – tie) ALLIES WITH BENEFITS by Elizabeth Wright Shapiro
The female President of The United States falls for her old college fling, the now Prime Minister of England.

Thoughts: I am betting six billion dollars that this will star Hugh Grant. This is Shapiro’s first sale.

22 – tie) COMIC CON by Matthew Sullivan and Michael Diliberti
To save their beloved neighborhood comic shop, a justice league of comic geeks must plan and execute a daring heist at Comic-Con.

Thoughts: They’re BAAAAAACK. After like 2 seconds. A movie about Comic-Con absolutely needs to be done, even if it will be a little incestuous. You just have to make sure it doesn’t turn into Fanboys.

22 – tie) CROOK FACTORY by Nicholas Meyer
Based on the novel by Dan Simmons and true events. An FBI agent is ordered to baby-sit Ernest Hemingway as he goes about running a motley spy ring in WWII Cuba.

Thoughts: I guess if this is based on true events, it’s okay. I don’t know what it is about Hemmingway, but whenever I see his name in a premise, I want to read it. Meyer is a true workhorse, having written a ton of films. Some of those include the recent film, Elegy, as well as older films Sommersby, The Human Stain, and Star Trek VI.

22 – tie) THE CURSE OF MEDUSA by J Lee and Tom Welch
An origin story of Medusa the Gorgon.

Thoughts: Can’t say that’s not an interesting angle.

22 – tie) DUE DATE by Alan R. Cohen and Alan Freedland
An uptight father-to-be is forced to travel across the country with an idiotic stoner in order to close a major business deal and make it home in time for the birth of his first child.

Thoughts: This is going to star Robert Downey Jr. and Zach Galianfinakgianis and be directed by Todd Phillips. In other words, this is going to be a mega-hit. Read it awhile back. It has some strong moments, moreso in the second half, and I love the potential chemistry between these two actors, but I wasn’t a big fan of the spec version of this script. Thought it was a little sloppy

Review here.

22 – tie) THE HAND JOB by Maggie Carey
A coming-of-age comedy about a teenage girl who gives her first hand job (among other
life experiences).

Thoughts: lol. I really don’t know how to respond to this one. Maggie Carey has learned her craft through writing and directing her own shorts, which she has a bunch of. The other script she sold, about a young woman’s decision to turn things around by hiring a “life coach” is thrown for a loop when the person she hires turns out to be a real mess, sounds more interesting.

22 – tie) HANNA by David Farr
A fourteen year old girl is raised by her father to be a cold hearted killing machine.

Thoughts: Littler Nikita? Hanna is about a badass bitch who goes looking for her father when they get split up. My big issue with this script is the saggy middle, though I anticipate that’s been cleaned up in rewrites. Let’s hope, cause this is one of those scripts (because of the action) that’s going to work better on the screen than on the page. Before he wrote Hanna, Farr worked on the show “MI-5.” This is his first sale.

Review here.

22 – tie) THE HUNGRY RABBIT JUMPS by Robert Tannen
A man becomes entangled in a secret society that forces him to murder.

Thoughts: I believe this is the script that has the monetarily challenged Nicholas Cage attached? Cage shouldn’t be jumping over hungry rabbits. He should be keeping his wallet closed when the auctioneer says, “Dinosaur bones, 250 thousand dollars!” Before this, Tannen wrote the 2006 indie film, “Even Money.”

22 – tie) JAWS OF LIFE by Michael Goldbach
A seventeen year old boy falls in love with a woman old enough to be his mother and begins to question the meaning of love and relationships while his parents go through a divorce.

Thoughts: Phew, I was wondering when the inappropriate relationship script was going to show up. Thank goodness. All jokes aside, I kinda like these films. The train-wreck aspect to the relationship always compels me to keep watching. Goldbach also has a produced credit on a small indie film called “Child Star.”

22 – tie) JITTERS by Marc Haimes
A dysfunctional, recession-struck family moves into a new neighborhood and is terrorized by superbugs.

Thoughts: Described as having a “Gremlins vibe.” I’m thinking how Roger is pouring through trillions of terrabytes of internet information right now to find this script. Oh how I hope you find it Roger. Haimes has a few projects in development and associate produced Men In Black II.

22 – tie) THE LAST STAND by Andrew Knauer
A drug cartel king escapes his trial in a 200mph Gumpert Apollo, and the only thing in between him and Mexican freedom is a small town cop in a bordertown.

Thoughts: There’s some coolness here. I’d like to know more about this town and this cop though, since that seems to be where the meat of the screenplay takes place. This is Knauer’s first sale.

23 – tie) MEDIEVAL by Alex Litvak and Michael Finch
An unlikely group of imprisoned warriors are forced on a suicide mission to steal the King’s crown in order to gain their freedom. They soon realize they’ve been set up to take the fall for the assassination of the King.

Thoughts: I waffled on this one. Not great but not terrible. Just sorta good enough. Yet, if I were a studio, it would be one of the first movies I put on my slate. It’s one of those ideas where you can imagine the trailer in your head. And even on your dullest days, it’s still fucking awesome. This script also sold for a lot of money. I think over 600k, right?

Review here.

23 – tie) OWENS MANUAL by Greg Ferkel
A mild-mannered IT guy finds an ‘owners manual’ to his dull life but struggles to manage the realities of it when he reaches the end of the manual.

Thoughts: I’m digging this one. Sounds like an off-beat take on a traditional comedy. Will definitely check it out. This is Ferkel’s first sale.

23 – tie) SAND DOGS by Vineet Dewan and Angus Fletcher
A pair of Western Red Crescent Paramedics weather a series of intense, dangerous days
in the Gaza Strip.

Thoughts: This sounds a lot like The Hurt Locker, which I liked. As many of you know, Sand Dogs is one of this years’ five Nichols’ winners. I haven’t read it yet but I hope to find it. Vineet Dewan worked in the art department on Monsoon Wedding.

23 – tie) SEX, GREED, MONEY, MURDER & CHICKEN FRIED STEAK by Reinhard Denke
The story of oilman T. Cullen Davis, the richest man in the United States ever to be
tried (and acquitted twice) for the capital murder of his stepdaughter, marking the
end of the reign of Texas oil billionaires.

Thoughts: Okay, I take back my earlier statement. This clearly wins title of the Black List awards. Also, it sounds really interesting. Us Americans are obsessed with seeing really rich people fall. It’s sad but it’s true. Which is why I will read this.

23 – tie) THE SPECTACULAR NOW by Scott Neustadter and Mike Weber
A hard-partying high school senior’s life changes when he meets a shy, insecure girl.

Thoughts: These two might sound familiar to you as they’re the writers of the indie hit “500 Days of Summer,” which was also in my Top 25 back before it hit theaters. This one hasn’t been getting a whole lot of heat, but they set the bar really high with Summer, which makes a comparable follow-up all the much harder. I will give this a read at some point for sure.

23 – tie) SWINGLES by Zach Braff
A bachelor who is dumped by his wingman teams up with a sharp-tongued woman he can’t
stand in order to meet women.

Thoughts: This is the project Braff signed onto to rewrite AND make his official directing follow-up to Garden State. I haven’t read the script but my lovely friend Erica has, and she did a review for the site. Just note, the draft she reviews is pre-Braff, not this one.

Review here.

23 – tie) THE TREES by Tyler Hisel
Isolated and threatened, a mysterious force hidden within the trees outside the small town of Laytonsville, Maryland strikes fear in the townsfolk as Sheriff Paul Shields attempts to overcome the demons of his past while protecting those that he loves.

Thoughts: There be some fear whistling through these bones. This sounds like a cross between The Happening and The Village. The good news? It’s impossible for anyone to write anything as bad as those films. So we know this has to be better. This is Hisel’s first breakthrough.

23 – tie) THE UNDERLING by Dave Stoller and Ben Shiffrin
A man slowly comes to discover his girlfriend is literally working for the devil and
has to find a way to escape.

Thoughts: Devil’s Advocate like maybe? I hope so. We need another Devil’s Advocate. This looks to be both these writers’ first break.

23 – tie) THE VATICAN TAPES by Chris Borrelli
In a highly secured vault deep within the walls of Vatican City, the Catholic Church holds thousands of old films and video footage documenting exorcisms/supposed exorcisms and other unexplained religious phenomena they feel the world is not ready to see. This is the first tape – Case 83-G – stolen from these archives and exposed to the public by an anonymous source.

Thoughts: I love the sound of this. Will definitely be checking it out. Borrelli has been working odd jobs around Hollywood for awhile. This is his first sale.

23 – tie) WALL STREET 2: MONEY NEVER SLEEPS by Allan Loeb
Gordon Gekko, fresh from prison, re-emerges into a much harsher financial world than
the one he left.

Thoughts: Because Loeb is selling everything he writes these days, he’s been heavily debated by the writing community, with some people “getting” him, and others not. Well, for better or worse, he’s landing a lot of big money assignment work, and Wall Street was one of those. I read the script and thought it was okay, though there were some major motivation issues I had with the characters. Luckily it has an ending that saves the day and should have audiences leaving the theater with a buzz.

Review here.

23 -tie) WATER FOR ELEPHANTS by Richard LaGravanese
Jacob Jankowski is about to take his final exams in veterinary medicine at Cornell when his parents are killed in a car accident. He drops out and joins Benzini Brothers, a second-rate traveling circus trying to survive during the Depression.

Thoughts: I’ve had this book on my shelf for two years now. I once got through 3 pages on a plane trip (until a suspicious looking guy started to hang around the bathroom and I had to keep an eye on him). LaGravenese has written such movies as “P.S. I Love You,” and “Freedom Writers.”

23 – tie) THE WETTEST COUNTY by Nick Cave
Based on the book by Matt Bondurant. The story of a moonshine gang operating in the
bootlegging capital of America – Franklin County, Virginia – during Prohibition.

Thoughts: Not my genre, but I rarely meet a write who doesn’t love Nick Cave.

23 – tie) YEAR 12 by Edward Ricourt
Twelve years after an alien invasion leaves humankind decimated and brutally subjugated, a former soldier must smuggle deadly uranium in his bloodstream and, with help from a pair of rebels, fight his way to an air force base where the uranium can be extracted and used to fuel a nuclear missile for a counterstrike that will reverse the direction of the war.

Thoughts: Started reading this one but haven’t finished it yet. It’s like a hard-edged version of “V.” Like, really hard. This is Ricourt’s first sale.

In case you haven’t been checking in every day (tsk tsk), there’s an article in this month’s (December) Wired about Scriptshadow. Up until recently, it was only available in the print version, but they’ve since put it up online. So check it out. (p.s. I don’t look like that guy in the picture).

Genre: Comedy
Premise: (from IMDB) A successful business man is forced to relive his miserable teenage years when the cool kid from his high school is hired at his company.
About: No. 6 on my Top 25 and No. 31 on the Readers’ favorites, Brad Cutter Ruined My Life Again is a spec that sold a couple of years ago. Nussbaum is probably best known for writing and directing the smash hit short film “George Lucas In Love.” Although I’m not sure if this information is still current, Nussbaum is listed as the current director on the project, “Aaron and Sara,” another top reader script. Man, these writers on Scriptshadow are starting to get a little incestuous.
Writer: Joe Nussbaum.
Details: 113 pages (2006 draft)

A few weeks ago I received an e-mail from an angry reader (you know who you are) blasting me for not having reviews up of all 25 of my Top 25 scripts. I was taken aback because the reasoning for this seemed perfectly logical to me. The Top 25 went up the day I started the blog, and clearly I couldn’t have reviewed all of the scripts on the list up to that point. So as the days went by, I’d review one of them here, review another there, or maybe read a new script that would make the list. That’s how most of them got covered. However, there were some I just never got to. Looking at it now, I realize to someone coming to Scriptshadow for the first time, this oversight seems ridiculous. They don’t care about history. They want to see what this script that’s ranked so highly is about! So I’m going to do my best to plug in some of these Top 25 holes over the next few weeks. We’ll start with one of my favorite comedies, Brad Cutter Ruined My Life Again.

The reason Brad Cutter works so well, is it does one of the best jobs of exploiting its premise of any script I’ve ever read. Too many screenplays have these great premises, then midway through, drive off into who-cares field to explore some meaningless subplot that isn’t half as interesting as its hook. I’ll give you an example.

A few weeks ago, a script called “Hello, I Love You” sold. It was described as a new take on Groundhog Day. Keep in mind this is a 2007 draft, and that they may have fixed this problem since then, but in the draft, a teenage girl who hates her family makes a wish for a new one. As a result, she begins waking up with a new family every day. A clever twist is that the families she wakes up in are families from the neighborhood she’s familiar with. This allows us to see these families in a completely different light. Lots of potential for comedy *and* drama there. The problem is, she stops waking up in the new families by page 40! The script then shifts to a love story between her and her neighbor. The hook, the reason we come to see the movie, is abandoned. And while the relationship between the two is cute, we can see it in any teen movie or TV show. The premise is why we showed up in the first place. So why aren’t we exploring it?

On the opposite end of the spectrum is Brad Cutter. The premise of a guy being roped back into his high school days is milked in every single scene, in every single moment, in every single line. It’s a master class in that respect. From the “cool kids’ table” to a field trip on a school bus to “Picture Day” to a face rash that looks like acne, Brad Cutter gets everything and more out of its premise. And like any good comedy script, it weaves these moments in with a nice story.

Dave Fischman had it rough in high school. He sported the greasy hair, the bad acne. The poor guy even wore head gear (parents don’t still make their children wear these things, do they?). Dave tells you straight away his feelings about those awful four years: “For me, the only good thing about high school…was that it ended.”

On the flip side, Brad Cutter had it all: the ladies, the charm, the confidence, that perfectly mussed hair that even Robert Pattinson would feel self-conscious around. Brad Cutter went to his first senior prom in eighth grade. Dave tries to give you some perspective: “I spent my own senior prom eating Hot Pockets and watching the Robocop trilogy on laser disc.”

The good news for Dave is, he grew up. And he lost the acne. And he trashed the head brace. And he got a job at a great company. Dave has found such success, in fact, that high school is but a distant memory. When he gets a tip from his boss that landing the “Just Juice” account will get him that big promotion, Dave is already eyeing the engagement ring he plans to buy his girlfriend, Leah (hmm – the writer of “George Lucas in Love” titling his lead female “Leah.” Interesting). It seems like that old high school adage about nerds is true: They really do end up having their day.

And then…

And then Brad Cutter shows up. Totally innocently. Brad’s simply looking to get his feet wet in the corporate world. In fact, Brad is hired as just another low-level employee. But that changes *immediately* when he introduces himself to the company…

BRAD CUTTER
Hey everybody. Great to be joining the team here. I’m sure I’ll get to know all of you a lot better in the coming days. Especially this guy right here.

Cutter points to a guy near the front.

BRAD CUTTER
This dude’s a trouble maker, am I right?

Everyone laughs.

BRAD CUTTER
Seriously, I’m here to learn, I’m here to work hard, and I’m here to party with those two guys over there.
(points to two guys)
Hey, if I wake up in Tijuana with no pants on, I’m calling you guys.

The two guys he’s pointing to love it. Everyone laughs.

Brad has everyone licking off his fingertips within FIVE MINUTES. And in those five minutes, Dave feels about five years closer to high school. In a great moment, the boss introduces Brad to Dave, and Dave tries to explain to Brad, through numerous examples, that they went to school together. It’s only after Brad remembers that Dave was the only kid who wore a noseplug in swim class, that he recognizes him. “Noseplug!” he points out, reciting the nickname he and the school used to call him. Horrified, Dave tries to play it off. But his boss loves it so much, that within ten minutes, guess what Dave’s new office nickname is?

Dave realizes that if he doesn’t do something fast, he’s not only going to lose hold of this precariously put together image he’s built up over the years, but he may actually end up losing the promotion to Brad – a guy who just got here today!

Of course the cooler Dave tries to be, the less cool he becomes. But it’s his naked effort to be accepted that soaks this script in so much hilarity. Lucky for Dave, he’s thrown a bone when Brad and his wife, Jenny (his high school sweetheart – who Dave used to masturbate to) invite him and Leah over to hang out. The plan totally backfires though, when Leah hits it off with Brad and Jenny a little too well. Soon, even his own future wife is one of the cool kids, and he’s even further outside the circle.

Back at work, when the Just Juice team expresses hesitation about their account, it’s Brad who brazenly guarantees that they’ll get it done. This inspires Dave’s boss to split the Just Juice presentation into two teams to “create a little competition.” He then “picks teams,” clearly leaving Brad’s team with all the cool guys, and giving Dave all the dorks. With his grip on that promotion continuing to slip, Dave’s reemerging low self-esteem causes a total meltdown, disintegrating his relationship with Leah, and sabotaging his job at work.

If Dave doesn’t find a way to overcome his obsession with popularity and make this thing right again, his life is as good as over.

The script is chock full of hilarious moments. But the definitive moment for me is when Dave, sitting all alone at lunch, in an effort to get closer to the “cool table” where Brad is, tries to scoot his chair over. But it’s one of those outdoor chair/table combinations, so the chairs are actually *chained* to the table. Since he’s already committed to moving, he has to pretend like he knew this all along. This forces him to drag his chair a few inches, reach back and drag the table a few inches, drag his chair another few inches, reach back and drag the table…all the while making this terribly loud screeching noise that causes everyone to stop eating and stare at him. I don’t know where Nussbaum comes up with this stuff (I’m praying it’s not from real life), but there are so many great moments like this.

I really only have one problem with the script, and that’s the ending. I’m not sure why exactly, but it doesn’t live up to the rest of the script. I guess it feels rushed and slightly disconnected. That third act bridge is a tough one to cross for any script, and Cutter could benefit from a quick smoothing out here. I also could’ve lived without Ben Affleck showing up as I feel like famous people cameos are a bit of a cheap gag. But that’s a minor quibble.

What I like most about Nussbaum’s writing is his breezy informal style. He throws in casual asides like (in describing Brad Cutter) “Picture the coolest guy from your high school, multiply by ten, and you get the idea,” that almost feel like you and a friend are hanging out and he’s relaying a story to you. It just doesn’t feel like you’re reading at all.

I can’t say enough good things about this script. If you love reliving and/or making fun of high school, you’ll probably love Brad Cutter Ruined My Life Again.

[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] barely kept my interest
[ ] worth the read
[x] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: Always fulfill the promise of your premise! If your movie is about a liar who’s forced to tell the truth for one day, don’t have it all of a sudden be about a guy trying to find love in Canada. Make sure every scene revolves around a guy who desperately wants to lie but can’t.

Note: If you are a fan of both Scriptshadow and the Coen Brothers, I highly advise you not read the following review. There is a good chance you will never want to read Scriptshadow again. Please, I’m begging you, turn back now. You will hate me. As a result you will leave. Which means you won’t benefit from the future reviews and scripts that appear on the site. I know it’s tempting but I’m doing this for your own protection……..Still here? Okay, I warned you.

Genre: Drama
Premise: An American gunner for a B-29 bomber squad crash lands in Tokyo during World 2 and must find a way to escape alive.
About: This finished number 20 on the Scriptshadow Reader Top 25 List, which is pretty impressive when you consider it hadn’t been officially mentioned on the site. Joel and Ethan Coen adapted the novel over a decade ago, and many consider it to be one of the best screenplays not yet produced. James Dickey, who wrote the novel the script was adapted from, also wrote “Deliverance.”
Writers: Joel and Ethan Coen (based on the novel by James Dickey)

Remember the large group of friends you used to hang out with in high school and college? For the most part, everybody got along. Being in a large group of people who just “get you” is probably one of the safest most comforting feelings you can have in life. But in those groups, there’s always that one person, that one guy or girl you just don’t see eye to eye with. Both of you know it. Both of you do your best to work around it. But because there is absolutely zero crossover in your interests, zero crossover in your sense of humor, because there seemingly isn’t a single thing in life that the two of you agree on, all you can do is tolerate each other and not let your dislike of one another screw up the group dynamic.

That person for me was Eli. I hated Eli. And it was clear he didn’t like me either. I couldn’t even tell you the reasons why I didn’t like Eli. He was just one of those people that rubbed you the wrong way. So deep was our dislike for each other, that if ever a segment of the group couldn’t make it somewhere, I’d have to check to see how many others were coming. If it was five people and Eli, I could handle it. But once it got down to four or three? Which meant Eli and I would actually have to talk? No thank you. I was out. And I’m certain he did the same. Over time, Eli and I basically became experts at hating each other.

Well when you go off into the real world and grow up a bit, you look back at things and you think, “Maybe I could’ve approached that better.” “Maybe I helped contribute to the misunderstandings just as much as he did.” You gain some perspective, and wish you would’ve tried harder.

So a couple of years out of college and a good six years since I’d last seen Eli, I flew in for one of my friends’ bachelor parties. The whole group was back together again, and there was Eli, grown up, matured, nice, a seemingly different man than the character I remembered. I knew right then that we were going to be okay, that we could work things out.

Eli also had with him a harmonica, which he was busting out occasionally, playing for people. And he was actually quite good. Better yet, it was the perfect conversation piece. At the time, one of my favorite bands was Blues Traveler, which, for those of you unfamiliar with them, has a lead singer whose trademark is his unprecedented harmonica mastery. It was the perfect topic to bring us together. I was certain that if I could just get Eli alone, we’d end up talking all night, forgetting every issue we ever had with each other, and becoming better friends than Selena Gomez and Demi Lavato.

About an hour later, I saw Eli getting a drink and decided to strike. I approached him with a big smile and asked him what he’d been up to. There was still a trace of distance in his voice, but I focused on the positive. At least he was engaging me. Eli told me he had gone into real estate where he was quickly becoming a force. He also recently asked his girlfriend to marry him. Things were clearly going well for him. When there was a brief potentially awkward pause, I knew it was the perfect time to bring up the harmonica. “So how long have you been playing?” I asked. “About five years now,” he said. “I heard you playing earlier. You’re really good.” “Thanks.” “What kind of stuff do you play?” “I like a bunch of different kinds of music but mainly blues.” It was exactly the way I had planned it in my head. I threw him the moneyball.

“I’m a huge fan of Blues Traveler. I don’t know anyone who can play a harmonica like that guy.” And he paused, looked at me for a moment. I noticed his face becoming a deep shade of red. For the briefest of moments, he actually looked like he was going to kill me. Though I’ll never remember exactly how he said it, Eli responded to me with something like: “Blues Traveler is a fucking joke. I hate John Popper [the lead singer]. He’s everything that’s wrong with the harmonica. They’re a piece of shit pop-group that fucked up everything that’s pure about music. I hate them with a passion and wish that dude would die.”

I stood there for what I’m pretty sure was six years of silence. I then offered a forced smile, turned, and walked away. I have not spoken to Eli since, nor do I ever plan on speaking to Eli again. That experience taught me a profound life lesson: Two forces that aren’t meant to be will never be. Time will pass. You can keep trying. But you’ll never like each other. This is the reason why I know I will never like the Coen Brothers.

The Coen Brothers would probably never be as rude as Eli, but just like the harmonically angry one, I don’t get them. I just don’t. Everything they do exists on a plane outside of what I’m willing to consider entertainment. I got through ten pages of “A Serious Man,” and thought it was a rambling incohesive piece of shit. Burn After Reading? A desperate attempt to grab A-list actors by creating a stupid story with overtly outrageous characters. More like Burn Before Reading. Ditto for “O Brother Where Art Thou.” In fact, that’s how they seem to approach most of their movies. And don’t get me started about No Country For Old Men, which, based on a novel or not, decided to deprive the audience of a fairly important piece of information: THE ACTUAL ENDING. I couldn’t even tell you what they did for the seven years previous to that. Didn’t they remake The Ladykillers?

Look, I’m not going to sit here and tell you that the Coens aren’t talented filmmakers. They clearly have a vision – a unique eye, and they seem to have a pretty good grasp on the old “chase the guy with the bag of money” device. But I truly hate their writing. I will never ever get it.

To The White Sea is my Eli at the bachelor party moment for the Coens. I’ve heard about how good this script is many times, but when it scored so highly on the Reader List, I finally said, “I have to give this a shot.” So Wednesday I approached To The White Sea at the party, and had a conversation. Would the script prove my theory wrong? Or would I continue to lump the Coens in with Eli?

It’s March of 1945, roughly five months before the end of World War 2. A guy named “Muldrow” is supposedly the best B-29 gunner in his squadron. After we’re told a few times how awesome he is, he’s off on a mission to blanket Tokyo with more explosions than a Michael Bay movie (not including Bad Boys 2). As they’re flying along, their plane gets hit, he gets ejected, and falls, I think, right outside Tokyo. This coincides with the ending of all dialogue in the film, which I was really excited about, since it made a 90 page screenplay read like it was 180.

For reasons I’m still trying to grasp, we inexplicably flashback to Muldrow in Alaska(?) with a bunch of snow dogs. Neither Cuba Gooding Jr. or Paul Walker is nearby, so when Muldrow’s hands get a little chilly, he slices one of the dogs in half and shoves his hands inside to keep warm. I don’t know about you but I love me some dog killers. I was really warming up to this character.

Back in the present, Michael Vick wakes up, seemingly okay after the fall, and must now find a way out of Tokyo without being seen or killed. A few pages after the wonderful dog murdering scene, he slices the throat of an innocent civilian and steals his clothes and hat, which he then hides under so people won’t see that he’s American.

He then wanders through Tokyo and its outskirts – though it’s never clear to me where he’s planning to go, as the last time I checked, Japan was an island. In the draft I read, there were occasional pages that had been omitted. And I suppose this could’ve been explained in one of them, but I considered these deleted pages to be more a gift from God, a tiny favor from him to shorten my read. But even God himself could only do so much. Every endless page was hell. In fact, I started to wonder who was going to survive longer. Me or this character.

Muldrow continues to sneak around Japan, eventually finding his way into a house and murdering an old blind man. He also bludgeons and beats to death a goat, rips apart some birds, and if that isn’t enough animal death for you, a cute cub bear gets torn apart later. By this point I had broken out the pom-poms, such was my rooting interest for this wonderful man. Unfortunately, Muldrow never finds that deaf school of children to massacre. I guess we can always hope for a sequel.

There’s a big ironic moment when American bombers fly over and start bombing the very city he now finds himself in. Except I was less focused on the irony and more concerned about the bomber’s errant aim. I knew if they got him, the script would be over. Or, at least, I hoped it would. But alas, the idiots kept missing. I guess they shoulda hired Michael Bay.

Even with it being only a couple of days since I read the script, I can’t really remember the end, other than I was bored to tears. I do remember him getting captured though, I think. And maybe almost dying. Alas, for those kinds of details you’ll have to carve out four hours of free time for yourself. Cause yes, it takes that long to read. (I know forgotten Egyptian cave languages that read faster than this)

Um, is there a movie in here? I suppose so, though I thought it woulda been way cooler if it was about an army official crashing in Hiroshima who had knowledge that the atom bomb was about to be dropped there in an hour or something. Now that’s a movie I’d wanna see. Hmm, maybe I’ll pitch it to Eli.

[x}What the hell did I just read?
[ ] barely kept my interest
[ ] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: Having your main character kill a lot of animals will make him extremely likable. Kill as many animals as possible always in scripts. Puppies, chipmunks, bunnies, and baby deer are preferable.

In the spirit of fairness, I decided to give a friend of mine, Aaron Coffman, who’s a great screenwriter himself and a huge fan of To The White Sea, a chance to offer his thoughts on the script. Obviously, he’s wrong, but I’ll let him talk anyway. :)

When Carson first hinted that TO THE WHITE SEA may receive a ‘trash’ rating, I politely demanded the chance to offer a counter review, for I, like many of you, rather enjoyed the script.

A couple years ago, when a friend sent me the Coen Brother’s adaptation of the James Dickey novel, I tore into it, smiling at the sandpapered words first spoken by a hardened Colonel:

Fire. We are going to bring it to him.

Like the opening of PATTON, a commanding officer stands before his men, issuing orders that not only asks them to be absolutely brutal to the enemy, but to their enemy’s families and to their way of life. He’s not just asking his men to make the other poor bastard die for his country, he’s demanding they mutilate that country in the process.

…we’re going to put it in his dreams. Whatever heaven he’s hoping for, we’re fixing to make a hell out of it… no ammo, no gunners. All bombs. All payload. All fire.

And so begins TO THE WHITE SEA.

The opening image of a sea bird, flying against the bluest of skies, suddenly overtaken by the thunderous roar of a B-29 speaks volumes about what the script will set out to achieve. The constant battle between nature and man coarses throughout the eighty-nine page script.

The year is 1945. The war in the pacific is violently inching closer to an end. We meet Muldrow, the tail-gunner of a B-29, preparing for the hunt — or in this case, a bombing raid over Tokyo. The crews are told that in a few days the wooden city will be firebombed, but before that, regular bombs will have to do.

It’s on the great hunt that Muldrow’s plane is shot down and he is the lone surivor to jump from the plane’s gutted husk and make it safely to the ground. The only problem is that he’s in Tokyo, and in a matter days the entire place will be hit with white phosphorous and napalm.

And here is where the script started to win me over. In any other circumstance the plot of the film would use the firebombing as a ticking-clock. The script would become about Muldrow trying to escape before the American bombers return. He’d surely have to kidnap a Japanese citizen, but by the end of it they’d come to understand each other, and the Japanese captive would sacrifice himself so that Muldrow could flee to safety.

But not here. After spending the night in a construction vehicle, Muldrow starts North, where he can escape into the Aleutians, and by page thirty-four, Tokyo is on fire. Clearly this script isn’t as interested in standard conventions. There will be no Japanese captive with whom he can share stories of his past; nor will his captive-turned-friend be around to save his life.

Through a series of short flashbacks, done with some of the more interestingly executed transitions I’ve read, we learn about Muldrow’s past. We see him, years before, steering sled dogs through the Alaskan wilderness. When he tries to untie a frozen knot, Muldrow loses his gloves in the snow, and with the night quickly approaching, and unable to start a fire with his frozen hands, Muldow takes one of the sled dogs behind a mound, slices it open, and sticks his hands inside for warmth.

It is a scene that not only develops who Muldrow is as a character, but also the overall theme as well. Through his actions we see that Muldrow can and will to do whatever it takes to survive, and do it without any hesitation. The scene also begins to establish the thematic element of caged animals. Much like in RAGING BULL, when Jake LaMotta is thrown in prison and begins to bash his head against the cement wall, screaming that he’s an animal, here to we start to get a feeling that Muldrow himself has been caged, and that now the animal has been set free.

As Muldrow makes his escape, many might be put off by brutality in which Muldrow kills. However, I would counter by saying each murder allows him to find a way to survive.

He kills a construction worker for his clothes so that he can get out of his flight suit. During the firebombing of Tokyo he kills a man his size so that he can get out of his combat boots which clearly would give him away.

In one of my favorite sequences of the script, Muldrow kills a man who feeds a flock of swan in a pool outside a house. The murder seems unnecessary at first because even though he does eat the swan (the one which fought back), it’s unclear why he clubs a handful of the birds to death. We see him plucking the feathers, shoving them into a bag and then setting out again, and yet the question as to what he’s up to isn’t made clear. Later, when he discovers a blind man’s house, he waits for the caregiver to leave, then sneaks in. He quickly goes through the house, searching for something, ignoring the blind man. The blind man, realizing an intruder is in the house grabs a blade and nearly kills Muldrow before he himself is dispatched rather violently.

It’s the first time Muldrow has come upon a person who he doesn’t kill on sight, simply because the man can do him no harm. He can’t tell the authorities that Muldrow is an American. It’s only after the man attacks that Muldrow kills him. The sequence comes to an end as we realize why Muldrow came into the house. He uses a needle and thread to sew the swan feathers into his jacket to add insulation. It’s going to be cold on his trip, and again survival drives him.

To cover his tracks Muldrow sets the house on fire, but stops to let a song bird out of it’s cage. Once again the use of caged animals comes into play. Unlike Muldrow, though, the song bird flaps about the burning room only to return to its cage to await certain death.

When a small tribe takes him in, the looming threat that he might have to kill them all hangs heavy over the sequence and drives up the tension. During a celebration, two caged bear cubs are brought before Muldrow. The villagers kill one in a ritualistic manner. Later that night, on his way out of the village, Muldrow kills the man in charge, then sets the remaining cub free. It’s an interesting moment because we’re left to wonder if Muldrow did so to cover his tracks, or if he felt an animalistic need to free the caged bear. He doesn’t kill the entire village, which seems like something he’d do if his motive was to cover his tracks. Instead, he kills the man who allowed the bear cub to be slaughtered in its cage. Once the murder has occurred, and the bear has been set free, Muldrow’s own sense of survival kicks in and he murders several more tribe members on the edge of town to make it appear as though the bear cub was responsible.
[**major spoiler below**]

When he finally makes it north, Muldrow encounters another man, who shows him his prized hawks. During a trek through the forest, as the hawk flies high above him, Muldrow is shot and killed by soldiers as they stalk through the snow. It’s not made clear if they were after him specifically, but they’re dressed in white camo to disguise them in the snow, and we get the feeling that they too were on a hunt.

As Muldrow lies dying, he watches the hawk above him, in the blue sky, like the bird we saw in the first moments of the script. Muldrow’s voice echos the words:

I was in the place I tried to get. I was in it and had it. And will be everywhere in it from now on.

And so it is that Muldrow, once a caged animal, returns to nature from which he was born.

What I learned: This isn’t going to be everyone’s cup of tea. This is clearly written by two people who have never really been interested in the standard conventions of a Hollywood story. The fact that the font is in Times New Roman will make some feel as though they’re reading a book, however, I think writer’s can take some important things from it. Without dialogue or a high concept plot to push the story forward, the writer’s must focus on theme. Seeing such a thing on display here might help you incorporate that element into your own scripts in a more powerful way.

Note: I recently took down the 2nd Fellowship script review, Dream Before Waking, as I learned that it was a vastly different draft than the one entered in the competition.

Genre: Drama
Premise: In 1918 British occupied India, two 12 year old girls, one the daughter of an Indian servant, the other the daughter of a British Colonel, form a friendship.
About: Our third 2009 Nicholl’s Fellowship winner.
Writer: Nidhi Verghese

We had a brief dip into the high-concept pool with our last Nicholl entry. Now it’s back to the land of socio-political intensely dramatic period pieces for our third, and likely final, Nicholl submission (unless one of you can find me Sand Dogs). Jallianwala Bagh, for those who don’t know, is the site of a horrible massacre that occurred in India during the British Occupation.

Not to belittle the people who lost their lives that day, but what the hell man? At what point would I need to inject caffeine into my veins to keep from going into a weeklong slumber. Page 10? 20? It’s been awhile since I actually had fun reading a script and I was looking for a little escapism here. But the only escaping I was going to be doing was into the dreamworld. Yet I didn’t even have that anymore after having to take down the last Nicholl script. Ah but that’s the great thing about screenplays. Just when you think you’ve got’em figured out, they go and surprise you. As I began to read this, I found myself connecting with the story immediately. There’s a voice here. A story that needs to be told. And there’s a genuine emotional connection you form with the characters (and that the characters form with each other). For that reason, Jallianwala Bagh is my favorite of the four Nicholl scripts I’ve read.

Widower Colonel Foster has been sent to India during a very turbulent time in Britain’s occupation of the country. Indians are getting restless and are retaliating against the occupation more aggressively every day. They are burning flags. They’re attacking soldiers. Gandhi himself seems to be the only thing keeping the Indians from full out war.

Back at Colonel Foster’s mansion, we meet his whip-smart but rebellious 12 year old daughter, Alison, whose Governess, Jane, is the physical embodiment of nails on a chalkboard. Since her mom is dead, and she’s home-schooled, Alison has never had anyone she could truly call a friend. Over in the servant house a new family has arrived, led by a man with more anger inside him than any character I’ve read in recent memory, the imposing and heartless Amarjeeth. Amarjeeth is father to a son and a 12 year old daughter, the curious and beautiful Jusmeen.

Immediately we sense that something isn’t right about their arrival. Securing this particular job didn’t happen by chance. Amarjeeth has no intention of making Colonel Foster’s garden the prettiest in India. He is planning something horrible, and he will do anything, including putting his own daughter at risk, to achieve his goal.

It is for this reason that when Jusmeen meets Alison, we fear that their friendship can only end badly. It is this unique and forbidden friendship where the script really shines. These two girls “from different sides of the tracks” can only meet in secret, as the Indian-British tensions have worked their way into the household. This creates a great source of conflict as we know that if either of them is caught talking to the other, the consequences will be catastrophic.

As Jusmeen and Alison’s friendship deepens, Jusmeen finds herself in a key servant role which allows her access to the entire house. Amarjeeth realizes how valuable his daughter has now become, and pulls her into his plan, forcing her to make a choice between her friendship with Alison and her family.

As I read Jallianwala Bagh, I kept trying to figure out how this script kept me interested, where Victoria Falls lost me. There are a lot of similarities between the two scripts (so many that it concerns me just how open the judges were to all material). Both are about best friends from different sides of the tracks amidst countries in turmoil. What I realized was that Jallianwala Bagh gave the friendship between its main characters more importance, more weight. In Victoria Falls, the opening scene leads you to believe the script will be about these two young boys and their friendship. However a quarter of the way through, one of them leaves the country. The script then switches gears and becomes about the other friend protecting a farm. I think that choice left me cold and, ultimately, confused. I felt like I’d ordered a Big Mac and gotten a chicken sandwich.

Jallianwala Bagh works its way up to the friendship delicately, painting these two young girls’ lives as vastly different, so that when they actually meet, we know that there’s no way their friendship can last. The world they live in won’t allow it. So there’s this consistent urgency beneath every scene – one where we’re always wondering, “Will this be their last time together?” Even when the script shifts into Amarjeeth’s master plan, everything always comes back to that friendship.

It is another friendship, that between Hollywood and India, that gives this tiny story a chance to be made. It may be a period piece but it would be cheap if shot in India, and there aren’t that many locations needed. You might even be able to convince Ben Kingsley to come back and play Gandhi. Jallianwala Bagh is a beautiful and heartbreaking story that I suspect will reward those who give it a chance.

[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] barely kept my interest
[x] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: Forbidden relationships make for great drama. Any time you put your characters in a position where, if they get caught, they’ll suffer horrible consequences, it gives their scenes together an exciting undercurrent. It’s no secret why Romeo and Juliet is one of the greatest stories ever told. The consequences for them getting caught by their respective families is devastating. Here in Jallianwala Bagh (a very fun title to type by the way – go ahead, try it) Jusmeen’s father is such a tyrant, we’re terrified of what he’s capable of doing to Jusmeen if he catches her. Forbidden relationships are almost always more interesting than come-and-go whenever you want ones.