Hey guys.  I’m going to do a little shifting around this week.  I’m moving my Tuesday review to Wednesday so I can do a full post about Twit-Pitch on Tuesday.  I want to answer some questions, explain why I chose the loglines I did, and just shed a little more light on the process.  I’ll also be revealing the 25 alternates that made the list.  In the meantime, I’ve been closely monitoring the comments section.  I’ve picked 13 of the 25 based on your collective enthusiasm so far.  So keep the discussion alive.  Oh, and thanks!  That post will be the first ever 1000 comment post in Scriptshadow history!!!

Welcome everyone.  Come one.  Come all.  To the first annual Scriptshadow Twit-Pitch Contest Experiment Extravaganza.  Where you, the hardworking unknown writer, tweet me your logline in 134 characters or less!  Now I know a lot of you Twitter newbies have been freaking out over this process. You’re scared your tweet won’t show or you won’t know how to see it.  Bad news. I’m scared too. However, I came up with an idea.  You can test your tweets all day long if you want, just to make sure they work.  I’ll only look at the ones from 2-4pm though.  Those are the only ones I’ll count.  This way, everyone can make sure they’re prepared.

Now how DO you see your tweet to make sure it’s shown up?  Simple.  Well, not simple.  But it’s doable if you have an IQ approaching 140.  Tweet your pitch, i.e., “When a pizza man is late for his delivery, he turns into a pizza.”  Then, AFTER your pitch, you want to leave a SPACE and then this unique hashtag identifier: “#tp12” which stands for “Twit-Pitch 2012.”  All in all, your tweet will look like this:

Then, all you have to do, is CLICK on the #tp12 (which will be a link) in your tweet and Twitter will take you to all of the other twit-pitches, as well as your own, so you can check to see that it’s there.  This is where I’ll be monitoring everyone’s Twit-Pitches.

Now, here’s how it’s going to work.  If I like a pitch, I will FAVORITE YOUR TWEET and DIRECT MESSAGE YOU, just to double-confirm I’ve picked you. You will then send your first ten pages, or your entire script (doesn’t matter as I’ll just read the first 10 pages regardless) to carsonreeves3@gmail.com with the subject line: “TWIT-PITCH.”  You’ll have a week to do this.  Now I have no idea how many people are going to be participating.  It could be 400.  It could be 4000.  If it’s over a thousand, it will probably take me awhile to read through all the tweets.  So just because you don’t get picked right away, don’t worry.  It might be because I haven’t read yours yet.  I should be done by the end of the day though.

Once those are chosen, I’ll take two months to go over them.  You’ll definitely want to follow me on Twitter as I’ll be tweeting updates about the contest throughout those two months.  I’ll let you know when I’ve found something good.  I’ll let you know when I’ve found something…errrr…not good.  I plan for this to be totally open.  At the end of the two months, I’ll announce 20-25 finalists and read the entire scripts, from which I’ll pick a winner.  I will then read the winning script live on a web feed.  That’s not true.  I won’t do that. 

BUT THERE’S MORE!  What I love about Scriptshadow is how bright our commenters are.  Easily the brightest on any screenwriting site.  So, if you guys get all jazzed up about a particular Twit-Pitch logline that I didn’t pick, I’ll add up to FIVE of those pitches to the first round pool. So even when it’s over, it’s not really over!  Feel free to leave your opinions on Twit-pitches in these comments or the official Top 100 twit-pitch thread, which should be up tomorrow or Monday, depending on how many there are.  Also, guys, don’t recruit your friends or sign in with different accounts and tout your own twit-pitch.  I know the commenting rhythm of this site like the back of my hand.  I’ll know what you’re doing and I’ll get really really angry! (or just slightly annoyed).

Well, that’s it!  Feel free to ask any tech questions in the comments section.  There’s a lot of smart people here who can help you.  Also, if this is the first time hearing about the Twit-Pitch Contest, please head to this post to look over the rules.  Good luck everyone!  And remember, you’re writers.  Be creative.  Be fun.  The whole idea behind this is to have a good time. :)

The number one logline from a couple of weeks ago – Breathwork – finally gets its day in the sun with a review.

NEW Amateur Friday Submission Process: To submit your script for an Amateur Review, send in a PDF of your script, a PDF of the first ten pages of your script, your title, genre, logline, and finally, why I should read your script. Use my submission address please: Carsonreeves3@gmail.com. Your script and “first ten” will be posted. If you’re nervous about the effect of a bad review, feel free to use an alias name and/or title. It’s a good idea to resubmit every couple of weeks so your submission stays near the top.

Genre: Thriller
Premise: A man undergoing past-life regression therapy must find out the identity of a nemesis who’s killed him in his past lives… before he’s murdered again in his present life.
About: This is the logline YOU picked to be reviewed two weeks ago. Let’s see if it lives up to its logline!
Writer: Gunner Pons
Details: 108 pages

When I finish a script, there are reviews I look forward to writing and reviews I don’t look forward to writing. The reviews I don’t look forward to writing are for scripts like “The Knoll” and “My Son Is The Fucking Anti-Christ.” Why? Because there’s no substance, no interesting ideas, nothing new. Even the entertainment factor is bare-bones. Without those things, what’s there left to talk about? How many brads you should use? 2 or 3?

When I finished Breathwork, I couldn’t wait to review it. It’s been a long time since we’ve had a good “past lives” movie – I’d argue the last one was “Dead Again” – so it seems ripe for another go-around. I’m not sure this script is ready to handle the burden of a 50 million dollar production, but I’ll tell you this, if somebody who understands storytelling guided this writer through targeted rewrites, there might just be a great script in here.

Breathwork begins in a radio station where our shock jock (Howard Stern reincarnated – no pun intended) is launching into his 91st dick joke of the day. Soonafter, he welcomes in Erika Saccio to talk about her new book which explores the realities of past lives.

The show’s plan is to make fun of her, of course, but when she puts everyone under hypnosis, 33 year old Jack, the sound technician, really does appear to be hypnotized.

Jack imagines himself in someone else’s body during a huge Civil War battle. Out of nowhere, a man comes racing up to him and stabs him. Jack wakes up, shaken and frightened, but, to save face, pretends that he’s joking. Erika’s not fooled though. She knows when somebody’s been under and Jack was under.

So she contacts him afterwards and asks him to come in for more sessions. Jack does so reluctantly and through further hypnosis starts going back to his past lives. In one of these lives, he’s a maid who, instead of saving her owners from a raging fire, runs out of the house to save herself. In another, he stops Jack the Ripper from kidnapping a woman in the street. In another, he’s a waitress at a bar in Germany and ends up serving Hitler! Turns out Jack has had some pretty eventful past lives.

Eventually though, Jack realizes there’s something bigger going on here. Some rascally little bastard in each life keeps finding Jack and KILLING HIM. That’s not very nice Random Past Lives Dude. But it seems to be the bane of Jack’s existence. Sooner or later, this ying to his yang finds him and puts an end to Lifeville.

This, of course, means that somebody’s going to do the same thing now, in the present! But who? That’s the question. As Jack starts taking a closer look at the people around him, he realizes that every one of them is a suspect, and that any one of them could kill him at any moment.

This script was a whale of mess-strocity. Talk about “all over the place.” But, it was also a delicious mess – like the food-fight kind. I wouldn’t want to clean it up but boy was it fun while it was happening. I don’t think I’ve ever read a script that’s had so many cool ideas that have been undermined by so much sloppy writing. I’d read two pages, want to throw it away, read two more, and desperately need to keep reading.

So what was so screwy about it?

Look no further than the first scene. In it, we meet Erika, our author, and her agent, Lori. These are the two brought in for the interview. Except we NEVER SEE LORI AGAIN AFTER THIS. She just disappears. So why in the world would you bring her into the movie in the first place? Why not just have Erika by herself? You don’t wanna introduce a character in the opening scene, hint that she’s important, then just never show her again. That’s confusing!

On top of this, Erika is introduced as our hero. But Erika isn’t our hero. Jack is our hero. One of the worst things you can do in the opening of your script is confuse the reader as to who the main character is. I’ve found that in every script where this has happened, the execution turned out to be a disaster. I mean if you can’t convey who the main character is in five pages, how can I trust you to convey a complicated intricate plot in 110 pages?

And that’s not even the worst of it. If I were to give you five guesses on who the main character was after the first scene, JACK WOULDN’T EVEN BE IN YOUR TOP FIVE!!! That’s how little the writer does to clue you in on Jack’s importance. This is Screenwriting 101 stuff here.

Next, why is Jack an engineer for a shock jock? Why that as his profession? I ask because it doesn’t have anything to do with the story whatsoever. Your main character’s job should always be relevant to the story.

For example, if Jack worked at the History Channel putting together documentaries or he worked as a history professor at a major university, either of those jobs would’ve allowed overlap with the past lives stuff. Jack would be able to pull knowledge from his profession to help explain or navigate his past-life experiences.

My guess on why we open with the shock jock scene (in addition to Irrelevant Lori) is because it’s an easy way for the writer to dole out exposition. The interview allows her to talk about the book and the past life “rulse,” and the waiting room allows us to get to know Erika through her agent.

Well I got news for you. You shouldn’t choose your characters’ jobs based on how it’s easiest for you to unload exposition. You should choose your characters’ jobs based on what’s best for your story! Start this somewhere darker, creepier, scarier – a place that FEELS like it’s connected to the premise you promised us!

As far as the flashbacks themselves, they were always interesting, but they never felt well thought through. Why famous historic figures? What is the point of us seeing Jack The Ripper or Hitler if they have nothing to do with the story? It feels like the writer’s trading believability for historic celebrity name-dropping. There’s no relevance here.

If you’re going to throw Hitler in a script about past lives, then by golly, your whole damn plot better revolve around Hitler. Hitler isn’t a sideshow. It would be like having U2 pop in to play three chords with your wedding band, then leave. There’s a cool moment where Jack realizes he can manipulate the past bodies he’s in. Well there’s your movie if you want Hitler! Jack realizes he can kill Hitler, and he uses his past life to do it.

Despite all the flaws, though, I liked the idea of this Jack-killer in each time period. Especially as it becomes apparent that there’s one in this time period too. And when we start wondering who that person could be, the script really picks up. And to the script’s credit, you’ll have no idea who it is. So just the fact that I wanted to get to the end and find that out says a lot.

Unfortunately, I don’t think that’s enough to put it into “worth the read” territory. It’s just too darn sloppy. Too many beginner mistakes here. So I say to Gunner, keep working on it, and find somebody who can give you solid insightful notes so you can really kick ass on the rewrite.

Script link: Breathwork

[ ] Wait for the rewrite
[x] wasn’t for me (but close to “worth the read!”
[ ] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius

What I learned: Make sure that your logline and the opening of your screenplay match in tone. The logline for Breathwork promises a dark and spooky thriller. The first scene though, is goofy, broad and silly. It immediately erases what you thought the script was going to be about, which means already I’m disappointed. Had I not had people tell me about the bad opening, I might have put this down before the scene was over and went on to another Amateur Friday script.

Update 1 (10:17 a.m. April 1) – Added thoughts about using text-speak.
Update 2 (10:45 a.m. April 3) – Added advice about including title.   
Update 3 (10:37 p.m. April 3) – IMPORTANT – Character count down to 134 characters (not 135).

Twit-Pitch.  You thought it was dead and buried forever. It wasn’t!  It just went through a few permutations.  For those not in the know, Twit-Pitch is a Scriptshadow Event/Experiment whereby you, the readers, will pitch me your logline on Twitter in under 135 characters!  The top 100-200 of these loglines will be chosen to move on to the next round, where you’ll send me the first 10 pages of your script.  The Top 20 of those First 10 will send me their entire scripts and from those I’ll pick a winner.  The winner will then be reviewed on the site.

Now I’ll be the first to admit, this is an experiment.  I have no idea if this will lead to finding a great screenplay or not.  But I do know this: It will be fun as hell trying!  And if you do get reviewed on the site, you’ll guaranteed get reads around the industry.  And if I personally really love your screenplay, I’ll send it to my heavy-hitter contacts.  So, here’s how it’s going to work.

1) Get a Twitter Account.  You’ll need one if you want to tweet me your pitch.
2) Follow me on Twitter.  It’s not required, but I’ll be using Twitter to keep people up to date on the goings-on of the contest so it’s a good idea. 
3) You only have one tweet to pitch your logline, which means it has to be 135 characters or less.  Twitter allows you 140 characters to tweet, but you’ll need 5 of those characters for…
4) The hashtag – A “hashtag” is a virtual keyword to help me find your tweet, therefore it’s ESSENTIAL that you include it in your tweet.  It is marked by the “#” symbol right before the word you’re hashtagging.   This unfortunately means less characters to tweet your logline, but those are the breaks!  The Scriptshadow Twit-Pitch hashtag will be “#tp12” (which stands for “Twit Pitch 2012.”)  So this would be how your tweet would look: “A global warming scientist travels back in time to save the iceberg that was hit by The Titanic #tp12.”  Edit – You NEED A SPACE BEFORE YOUR HASHTAG!  If there’s no space between the end of your logline and the hashtag, your logline won’t show up!
5) @Scriptshadow – You do NOT have to put “@Scriptshadow” in your tweet.  That’s taken care of by the hashtag.
6) “Favorite” – I will “favorite” any logline I like.  If you get favorited, you can send me your First Ten pages at carsonreeves3@gmail.com.  (Being favorited will appear in your Twitter timeline. It’s easy to see. Just make sure it’s me who favorites you and not someone else).
7) Text-speak – Try not 2 use txt-spk. It’s not an automatic disqualification. But it will be strongly looked dwn upon.
8) Title – No title is required in your pitch.  But feel free to use it if you want. 
9) First Place – The winner of the contest will be reviewed on the site and expected to post AT LEAST the first 15 pages of their script.  However, I strongly recommend that the winner post their entire script.  That’s what happened with The Disciple Program.  Since it was so easily accessible, everyone was able to read it right away and that’s how the mayhem started!
10) Turnaround time – Turnaround time on the first round will be kind of long. After announcing the Top twit-pitches on the site, it’ll take me a little over 2 months to read them, which is kind of good cause it will give you guys plenty of time to sharpen up those full scripts!

Rules
1) You can only tweet me one idea.  Tweet more and you’ll be disqualified.
2) You can have representation.  But you CANNOT have a TV or Feature produced credit or have made more than $10,000 in a total screenwriting revenue (this doesn’t count contest money. So if you’ve made $30,000 from Nicholl, you’re still eligible).
3) Yes, it can be an adaptation.
4) Writing partners can only submit ONE pitch.  
5) You can only tweet me between 2-4 pm Pacific Time next Saturday (April 7th).  Any tweets outside of that timeframe will be disqualified. (note: Twitter allows you to schedule tweets. So if you’re in a different time zone, look up how to do this and have Twitter tweet for you!)
6) Features only
7) It’s free, so stop complaining!

Now keep in mind: THIS IS AN EXPERIMENT.  I’m sure there will be questions and people pointing out flaws in the rules that I’ll need to address.  Check back here every evening starting Monday for updates/reminders to the rules/contest.  Also, for those asking questions in the comments, I will not be able to answer them right away cause I’m leaving.  Will be back to try to answer them later tonight or tomorrow morning though.  Now, start working on those tweets!

As many of you may have heard, I took a year off from Los Angeles to move back to Chicago and reclaim my soul. But I’m moving back in August and as I started looking for places, I realized, like Liam Neeson in Taken, that I had a particular set of skills. I’d lived in LA for 8 years, bounced all over, been to every neighborhood at least once. If there was anyone who could help future LA screenwriting transplants find the right neighborhood to live in, it would be me! So even though this KIND Of article has been written before, it’s never been written Carson-style. So buckle up beanbags. Shit’s about to get square footage.

SANTA MONICA ($$) – Santa Monica is one of the best places to live in Los Angeles because it has one of the most active beaches in LA, one of the best shopping areas in 3rd Street Promenade, and it’s the most centralized beach town in the city. Now you will be taking most of your meetings in the Hollywood/Beverly Hills area, and Santa Monica is about a 30-40 minute drive from there, but it’s a small price to pay for being close to the beach, right!? The only real downside is that Santa Monica is the homeless capital of the United States. I don’t know if this is official or anything but it’s impossible to go anywhere without running into homeless people. And be careful, since LA’s homeless crowd is the best dressed in the nation, they often look like normal people. I once thought I’d made a new best friend only to have him screaming at me five minutes later that I was working for the government. Very embarrassing. Especially since I had just bought him ice cream.

BRENTWOOD ($$) – Brentwood is a really cool place situated just west of UCLA, about 20 minutes from the Santa Monica beach. It’s sectioned off from the university by the notorious parking lot known as the 405 freeway. Very clean and pretty. It has this nice (if humongous) central street with all these nice little shops around it. The crowd here tends to have a young, slightly upscale feel to it. I love going here every once in awhile but my impression of the community is that they’re a little stuck-up. Maybe I’ve just had bad experiences there but I didn’t quite gel with the people. However, if you consider talking to others overrated or you’re stuck-up yourself, Brentwood is perfect for you! (p.s. Conan lives in Brentwood)

VENICE ($$) – Venice is one of the places I’m looking at. It’s another beach town, just south of Santa Monica. It’s less pretentious, and the clientele reflect it. You’ll find a lot more tattoos and piercings here. Venice is also home to the famous Venice Boardwalk. And if you Google that, you’ll get a feel for what you can expect. There’s a community further inland in Venice that’s a little more sophisticated, yet maintains that sort of rebel edge. This is where I’d like to live, unless I have enough dough to live beachside or on Venice’s famous moat-river thing. That will depend on how many of you buy my book. I should start a slogan. “Books for beach!” Someone go trend that on Twitter right now! (I still don’t know what trending means btw). Keep in mind Venice is even FURTHER from the Hollywood/Beverly Hills area (45 min), so meeting transit times might become an issue.

PALMS/WEST L.A. ($) – (about 25 min from Beverly Hills) I lived in Palms for a while. It’s about a 20 minute drive directly east of Venice Beach, and since you’re much further off the water and south of high priced Santa Monica, the property is cheaper. Like a lot of places in LA, you can weave in and out of Palms and find some pretty nice buildings as well as some pretty not-so-nice ones. This is a great starter neighborhood though, because you’re right next to the two major highways in the city (the 405 and the 10), allowing you to get anywhere you want to go.

CULVER CITY ($$) – Culver City is located adjacent to West LA. Much of Culver City used to be the MGM lot, so it’s a really neat little place, tucked into the trees, with a lot of history to it. I like it because it has sort of a Midwest suburban vibe to it, how I grew up. And recently, within the last 10 years, the downtown area has really picked up. The Sony lot is right in the heart of Culver City, so you have lot of young hip people coming from over there. I really like Culver City but since I lived there already, I want to try a new area.

MARINA DEL RAY ($$) – Oh, the stories I could tell you about Marina Del Ray. My first girlfriend in Los Angeles lived on a boat in Marina Del Ray. Wasn’t the brightest bulb on the tree. Once, while in the boat, we started shaking, and she said, “Oh, here comes another earthquake.” I looked at her and I said, “Huh?” And she said, “Yeah, there’s a lot of earthquakes in Los Angeles. Sometimes like ten a day.” I said, “That was a boat passing us.” She kind of squinted at me and went, “Ohhhhh.” Anyway, Marina Del Ray is south of Venice and is sort of an unknown spot in Los Angeles. But it’s got some really cool beachfront property that’s reasonably priced. And it’s reallly quiet there. The downside is that you’re on the southern tip of what would be considered “reasonable driving distance” between everything in LA. It will take you an hour to get to Beverly Hills.

IN AND OUT ($4.99 – double double and a fry) – In and Out is the most popular burger joint in LA. It sells just burgers and fries, nothing else. Nothing is frozen and everything is made to order. It’s ridiculously delicious. Now while you’re not technically allowed to live inside an In and Out, you can sit inside for a few hours before an employee notices you. And even once you do get kicked out, they have tables outside that you can sleep under. There are about 50 of these stores throughout the city and the last time I checked, about half are available.

BEVERLY HILLS ($$$) – There’s no doubt that Beverly Hills is prime real estate. The houses are a lot bigger, the lawns are a lot wider. It even makes you ignore the insane amount of concrete that dominates the city (some streets in LA will take you 3 minutes to cross they’re so wide). Having said that, there are a few places on the fringe of Beverly Hills that aren’t too expensive. They’re pretty small, but you can have that coveted Beverly Hills zip code if you really want it. There’s also an area called “Beverly Hills Adjacent” that’s basically like the ghetto of Beverly Hills. However, the ghetto of Beverly Hills is still pretty nice! I lived there once. And what I found is when someone asks you where you live, you can just say “Beverly Hills ashsushaa,” and slur the last part. If you’re lucky, they’ll think you just said Beverly Hills. Oh, and Beverly Hills Adjacent is also the central hub for the Orthodox Jew community. So if you want to live here, you gotta grow a beard and get a top hat.

WESTWOOD ($$) – (25 min or less to Bev Hills) Westwood, or “Tehran East” as I like to call it, is a strange place. There are two types of people you’ll see here – college students from UCLA (where the university is located) and Persians, who make up 60% of Westwood’s population. I just made that number up but it’s reasonably accurate. Westwood is the first town east of Santa Monica, so it’s about a 25 minute drive to the beach, straight down Wilshire Boulevard, which is the biggest street that’s not a highway I’ve ever seen. The area itself is pretty nice. It has an okay downtown area whose highlights include large old-school movie theaters that are great for premiere parties. And if you’ve got a sweet tooth like yours truly, it has two GREAT places to get your fix – Diddy Reese (where the cookies are always fresh) and Stan’s Donuts (which has the most unique donuts in town. They actually bake a reeses peanut butter cup into one of their donuts. Need I say more?).

PACIFIC PALISADES ($$$) – (55 minutes to Beverly Hills) Pacific Palisades is one of the nicest areas in Los Angeles. It’s the main beach area north of Santa Monica. You gotta take this windy twisty road to get there so it’s a bit of a hassle to commute. But this place is like a prettier Beverly Hills (at least in my opinion). It’s hilly and vegetative (is that a word?) and has places on the beach. If you’re drowning in money and don’t need to drive a lot, this place is for you.

THE VALLEY ($) (BURBANK, STUDIO CITY, OTHER TOWNS) – In Los Angeles, you have these hills that split the city in two. On the south side of those hills, you have proper Los Angeles (which I’ve been talking about) and to the north, you have the valley. I’m just gonna come right out and say it. I hate the Valley. I worked there once (in Burbank) and I didn’t like anything about it. The heat gets trapped in the valley so it’s always hotter there. The smog also gets trapped in the valley, so you’re sucking down soot wherever you go. And there’s just this feeling of depression whenever you’re in the valley. Like it never made it out of the 70s. The huge plus side of living in the Valley, of course, is that it’s a lot cheaper. So it’s a good starter place. And if you absolutely have to live in the Valley, I’d recommend Studio City. I can’t say I know much about it but the few times I’ve been there, I liked it better than anywhere else in the valley, probably because it actually has current stores. Plus it’s right across the hill so should you wake up one day and realize you’re actually in the valley, you’re just a 15 minute car drive from freedom.

 

LOS FELIZ AND SILVER LAKE ($$) – (I think 35 min to Beverly Hills?) These are two places I’m thinking of moving to. The crowd here is young and hip and artsy, but, from what I’ve been told, not the pretentious kind of young and hip and artsy. The people are more genuine. It’s kind of a hilly interesting area with some unique houses that date back to a long time ago. It’s just northwest of downtown, so you’re not gonna like this place if you’re a beach person because it’s a good 45 minute drive to the beach, but I’m hoping that the energy and the people here will make up for that because I want to find some cool folks in my second stint in LA!

DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES – Up until I left, there was a huge push to make downtown Los Angeles trendy. And they have put a lot of cool lofts up, which is nice because you don’t really have many loft options in LA. But when I went down to look at these places, it was as dead as a door nail and you would walk one block and find yourself in a sketchy part of the city. Also, I’m 95 percent sure they hired actors to walk around with dogs in order to make it look like cool hip people lived there. It has been a year though, so maybe that’s changed.

HOLLYWOOD ($ – $$$) – Oh boy. I have mixed feelings about Hollywood. Here’s the thing. Los Angeles is so messed up and their layout so confusing, that I’m not even sure where Hollywood extends to. But the part of Hollywood I’m familiar with is dirty, grimy, and desperate. Because it’s one of the most popular town names in the world, it’s where all the clueless people live when they first arrive in LA. All these people care about is becoming famous. So there’s a dominant young narcissistic vibe on top of all the dirtiness. However, if Hollywood does extend as far west as I think it does, there are some places at the west end of Hollywood, off Sunset, that are nice. But that area might actually be “West Hollywood.” I don’t know. It’s confusing.

WEST HOLLYWOOD ($$) – West Hollywood is one of the cleanest nicest most centralized areas in LA and, like I said, where most people want to have meetings. So very little driving (except when you’re going to the studios, which are freaking spread out all over Los Angeles). I don’t like it though. It’s just packed so tight, I feel like a sardine whenever I’m there. But it’s right next to the famous Sunset Strip so if you’re a partier, this is a good area to live in. West Hollywood is also the central hub for the gay community in LA. Which may explain why it’s so clean. And last I checked (which admittedly was awhile ago) there were some rent control areas. So you might really luck out with a sweet affordable pad.

ORANGE COUNTY ($ or $$) – I actually really like Orange County, which is South East of Los Angeles and the home to Disneyland. There are a lot of nice little apartments and houses there, many of which are very affordable. And if you don’t like the pretentious LA scene, Orange County is a great alternative because many of the people there don’t even consider themselves Los Angelites. But if you expect to be taking meetings or coming to Los Angeles a lot, I’m gonna save you a lot of time and tell you to steer clear of Orange County. On an average day, it can take you an hour and 45 minutes to get to town. Or longer!

OTHER – Los Angeles also has a bunch of tucked in tiny areas that are really nice. For example, further inland from Marina del Rey is Mar Vista, which is like this secret little perfect community with all these awesome places that only a few people in LA know about. There’s Pasadena, which is really nice but a bit of a hike out east so I’d stay away from there unless you’re only planning to come to LA every couple of weeks. And if all else fails, Los Angeles is a great place to be homeless. The weather is always nice. The thrown away clothes are often designer-quality. And if you fall asleep on the sidewalk, you’ll wake up with seven full burritos from Baja Fresh laying by your side. Yes, homeless people in Los Angeles get fed well! Maybe next article I’ll highlight the best park benches in Los Angeles to sleep on. They have some great ones up at Griffith Park.

So guys, where should I live?? And where do you live now?? Pros? Cons?